From a young age I have struggled with my body image; I have a disorder known as BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder ) which alters my perception of how I see myself in the mirror and how I 'believe' others see me. I grew up with poor self confidence; I was abused by my stepmother and bullied throughout my teenage and young adult years, for the way that I looked, including being 'too skinny' for societies personal tastes. I was called anorexic, skinny, scrawny and a bag of bones to name a few and was often taunted for having 'small boobs' because according to the bullies I looked like a 'boy'. The more people were negative about my weight, the more I became obsessed about the way I looked, ... read more
Search Results for: abuse
Dating Disasters With Faded Spring: My Worst First Date
Have you ever been on a date so hilariously bad, that the only solution was to bury your head deep in the sand and pretend that the date never existed? Or perhaps your date was going swimmingly well until the ‘dicksand’ erupted and your date showed his/her true colours? Or maybe you didn’t even get to a first date, after being ghosted and finding out months later that the geezer was married all along? Whether your first date was grim, cringe or downright creepy, Faded Spring wants to hear from you. But first grab yourself some strong gin and settle down for a drinking game I like to call ‘my worst first date’. Every time I mention ‘worst first date’ give yourself a well-deserved drink, ... read more
Faded Spring’s Thoughts On Marriage
I was never one who dreamed of having a fairytale wedding growing up and in fact was quite the opposite. I opposed the idea of 'marriage' because I believed that you didn't need a piece of paper to prove that you loved someone. I saw marriage as a 'money trap' but as I grew older I realized that my opposition against marriage was because of how A. I had never been in love, B. saw how disastrous the majority of marriages had turned out in my family and C. was never taught to see marriage in a positive light. With the exception of my dad, my uncle and my distant cousin, marriages were violent, damaging and dramatic in my family. Even the marriages that have stood the test of time have been a ... read more
Why I’m Quitting My Job To Go Blogging Full Time
I'd never thought I would get to the point, where I would have the strength to up and leave but as of today I am officially a full time blogger. You may think I am crazy; after all I have little money to my name, am currently in debt and have on ongoing stream of bills to pay, that my blog income will fail to supplement. Yet, for the first time in two years, I am making my own creative decisions and being able to wake up one day and realize that you should follow your dreams is inspiring. As Elizabeth wisely said 'dare to dream' and dare to dream I did. No longer will I wake up each morning, wishing that I didn't have to get out of bed, dreading another day where I am in a job that doesn't ... read more
Learning How To Overcome My Fear Of Cycling With Brompton Bikes
I was 15 when I first rode a bike and while it might seem like quite a late age to have picked up cycling, I was proud that I had finally learned to ride a bike. As a kid I would learn with stabilizers but somehow 'never got round' to learning to ride. It might be because in the middle of my transition into cycling I was abused and bullied, which made me forget everything I had learned and when it came to a Year Six 'cycling proficiency test' I was one of the few ones to sit out the test, because I didn't know how to ride a bike. Then again cycling wasn't the only form of sport or exercise that I had learned late, swimming too, which I learned by the age of 13-14. But I digress; between the ... read more
A Letter To My Dad On Fathers Day
Dear Dad, I remember the last time that I held your hand; I was 10 years old and had just been taken into care by my foster mum. You came to my new foster home and promised me that you were always going to keep in touch, that you would never stop seeing me no matter what. But you did and at the age of 10 I learned that my biological parents, who I was meant to call mum and dad, were not always going to be the ones to kiss me goodnight and hold me in their arms when things got tough. You blamed me for getting put into care, telling social services that I had exaggerated the extent of the abuse that I had faced at the hands of your wife and yet you were there, you saw with your very own ... read more
10 Things That Make Me Happy
Be Happy! In a world where hatred runs rampant, it can be hard to be grateful for what we do have. When I have been down in the dumps I have failed to appreciate what is there in front of me and I am sure I am not the only one. We spend so much of our lives complaining and making light of negative situations that we often miss the good that was there all along. I used to believe that the principle of 'positive thinking' was a load of bull crap or a method used by adults to point out our melodramatic, drama queen ways. While I must admit I am a bit of a drama queen, dealing with depression and anxiety on a regular basis can make it difficult to think positively and it is something I am ... read more
Why Its Okay To Be Alone
Ever since I can remember, I feared being alone. I hated the way the kids in class would point their fingers and laugh. I hated to see the look of pity on adults faces, as though my inability to make friends was all my fault. But most of all I despised how being alone made me feel... worthless, unwanted and alienated. When I was left until last to be paired with someone during P.E I wanted to disappear and when they asked us to get into pairs I could feel my heart in my mouth. I didn't want anyone to know that I was a 'loser', that the only reason that people didn't want to get to know me was because of how different I was to the rest. I was buck toothed, wore no make up and had frizzy hair ... read more
Say No To Animal Testing With Limecrime
Here I am, hastily dipping my toes into the uncertain world of makeup, not quite a beauty blogger but ready to take her first steps into a new blogging adventure. You see when I was typecast as a 'fashion blogger' I felt pigeonholed, after all while I speak about fashion my posts are mostly lifestyle orientated with the odd 'food and drink' post. Thus it should come as no surprise for me to state that I don't believe in blogging labels. I am able to talk about topics and review products that exist outside of the labels that the blogging world has given me. Now, those who know me might laugh, after all I am no make-up artist and under close inspection you might note that my foundation is not ... read more
What It Was Like To Go Into Care Aged Ten
Ten, the age where 'tweens' are made, but you don't feel like a kid at all. In fact you feel old before your time, aware that while everyone around you are the 'kids' they deserve to be, you're trapped in the body of someone much older. Too young to handle responsibility but you have seen more of life than people twice your age have ever experienced and yet society still treats you like a kid. You feel damaged and broken from years of physical and emotional abuse, groomed by the woman who your father chose to call his wife. Soon you will forget to be honest with the ones that you love and care about and start telling lies, to protect yourself from the reality that you know you are living. ... read more
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