It seems like only yesterday that I started blogging; becoming a blogger was an unfulfilled dream of mine that I knew would be the stepping stone to a bigger and brighter future. Sure I was academic and book smart but I knew that I was creative too and I wanted to share that passion with the whole world. What started as a personal style blog evolved into so much more and for many readers it became an honest haven where they could be free to be themselves without judgement or condemnation. As I broadened my content, my role as a fashion blogger developed and I became a fully fledged writer who was confident enough to share her vision, her passion but most of all her story with the world. Yes ... read more
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About
Hello fellow readers. My name is Ana and if you’re into weird, fun loving Libras then I am your gal. I always imagined myself to be a secret mermaid and love nothing better than jotting down my random fantastical imaginings and transporting you into a rainbow world of possibilities. Because in my mind there is nothing more beautiful than freedom of thought and if you want to be a mermaid then so be it. I just turned 23 and so far I have learnt that I really love to eat-my appetite for eating out remains insatiable, get as excited as a puppy on Christmas day when I get Blogger Mail and spend my days wishing that I could quit my full time job (s) so I could become a blogger full time. Still I ... read more
23 Birthday Candles
Here I am, another year older counting my non existent candles and watching the metaphorical flames burn out. Another year full of promise, another year to grow and learn. I used to love birthdays, getting presents and being treated like someone special but one year the magic faded. Growing up I was left by my mum at the age of 2 1/2 while my dad tried his best to make me feel like his special girl. He was never a bad dad, not even when he met the love of his life, the woman who abused me and who I was meant to call mum. My step mum was a manipulative, selfish woman who did everything in her power to make me feel worthless and unloved and in time even my own dad saw me as second best. I ... read more
Why I’m Just A Girl Who Is Unlucky In Love
There was a time when I thought I was a lost cause; used and abused I had lost faith in men and eventually in relationships. I was happy for a while and told myself that I didn't need a man to make me happy. When friends told me that I 'needed to find someone' I shrugged them off and said that no man was going to make my life complete as only I had the power to gain life satisfaction. And it was true, never have I believed that it was wrong to be single and I still don't, in fact it is perfectly normal. Women seem to be labelled spinsters before their time and I am noticing that the older I get, the more that society seems to think there is something inherently wrong with me. I mean how ... read more
My First Blog Anniversary: Faded Spring Turns One
It seems like only yesterday that I was locked in conversation with my friend Vanessa, discussing our dreams and aspirations, hoping that our future would take a turn for the better. There had been disappointments and failures but still I kept my dream alive, hoping that one day people would recognize that I had a voice and a message to share, that would mark me apart from other bloggers in my 'niche'. I started one sunny summers day, messing around on my friends I-Phone, capturing a story through pictures and words. With amazement I got comments and within mere days brands were sending me opportunities despite me having no following to speak of. Tears welled in my eyes, astounded that these ... read more
Speak Up
He's too afraid to speak out, worried that his actions, that his words will make him a 'sissy'. He tried talking about his feelings before, how she made him feel, what she made him do. His words were met with blank stares, empty faces. He tried to tell them what she did, how she used and manipulated him to get what she wanted. She was in a position of power and she abused that power with abandon, she made him feel like the smallest man on earth. Its our little secret she used to say, plying him with the promise of a promotion that would never come. She made him cry hot salty tears, she tasted them with cruel ecstasy. She told him to serve her in more ways than one, he refused, she threatened ... read more
Saying Goodbye
Its never easy saying goodbye, all those memories shared, the emotions evoked- letting go is one tough bitch to handle. But i'm not talking about the loss of a loved one but the loss of memories, memories I had carried around with me for 22 years and have given up in the name of sacrifice. Coming to London and renting the teeny tiniest box room you could imagine meant that I had to say goodbye to memories I had treasured and loved; from photos, clothes to books no memory was safe from London's need to purge. Gone were the documents from my school days, attesting to my hard work and dedication to education, to the charity shop went droves of clothes from Ana's past and au revoir to precious ... read more
A Letter To My Eighteen Year Old Self
You made it this far, you are a champion, a warrior whose scars document the events of years past. You have fought bullies and won and kicked abuse in the teeth. You have proved that your past does not define who you are as a person. I want to congratulate you on surviving your teenage years and learning to stand up for yourself because you are not that little mouse any more. Remember those days when you used to surround yourself with people you knew that hated you because you were afraid of being alone. You were pushed around and called names, made fun of because the bullies saw you as a target. They told you that they bullied you because you were a pushover and you thought to yourself what ... read more
Learning To Express Gratitude
Learning to express gratitude when you are surrounded by your own s**t is easier said than done and sometimes I want to pull the covers over my head and pretend that the world doesn't exist. The voices in my head spread poisonous thoughts into my subconscious and convince me that my misfortune is all my fault. Sometimes I believe them, convinced that I am a failure and that everything I try to do right always goes tits up. It’s hard to break out of the negative thought cycle and most days I am wading through a pile of my own issues, struggling to come up for air. But then I think to myself, no matter how bad things are (which believe me it is at an all-time low) remember to always express ... read more
You Are What You Wear
' The troops assemble, line by line, crossing the fold into anonymity,Dressed in drab colours they remain nameless, a number destined to be forgotten,Emotionless they raise the flags in patriotic regard, chained to a cause they do not support, Like puppets every move is controlled, mannequins of an Totalitarian regime, The capitalists march forward banning all colour, raising their grimy finger towards the offender,Swathed in orange, purple and green the human is awash with forbidden colours,The troops charge forward guns a'blazing to erase one mans bravery,Resolve weakens and the troops tremble, the offenders aura begins to intoxicate,Suddenly they are men with names again, no longer a ... read more
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