I was abused by someone who was meant to be in a position of authority, who was meant to be the 'replacement maternal figure' that I so desperately craved. Abandoned by my mother aged 2 and a half, my dad met my stepmum, aged six and well... my readers know what happened next. Jealous of my 'Dad' having another child who was not born to her, she played up to the 'wicked stepmother' archetype and would physically and emotionally beat me with her vicious words. In her eyes I was a nobody, a nothing and someone who was very much in her power. Because of her I have issues with my perception of body image, because of her I struggle to trust loved ones and because of her I have a constant guard up ... read more
Search Results for: abuse
How Childhood Abuse Turned Me Into A Warrior
I was a young girl, torn apart from her parents and plunged into the realm of the unknown. Born into a broken home, I found myself constantly searching for a home to call my own, afraid to mark somewhere as mine, when so many things had been taken from me. I was raised by a single dad aged 2 (and a half), childminded until I was 4, abused by my dads wife E until I was 10 and raised in care until I was 18. Is it little wonder then that in the space of 5 years I have moved 8 times, in search of my forever home, only to find my dream had never existed in the first place. You see I saw my life through numbers; my age was not a milestone but a memory of what life once was. But do I regret the ... read more
Stop Online Abuse
As I write this I am sobbing, depressed and feeling isolated from the blogging community. When I joined the blogging community I did so to connect and meet online bloggers but as of late I have received nothing but abuse and it hurts like hell. I have been called horrible names, been accused of doing things I have not done, recieved negative comments and been told that I deserve to die and should have never existed. Do you know how much it hurts to be told you are worthless, be told that your ugly and that my blog is shit simply because I stood my ground and fought for what I believed in? I don't care if my opinions are controversial because to be honest I don't care anymore, blogging is not ... read more
The Abuser Part 3
'Tangled claws caught in a web of hair the grit of sea salt burning retinas in the dank ocean Murky depths defined by hatred in a closeted space, the tide a relentless demon, Failing organs pulsating no more in the crunch of death, past shadows threatening to overcome, Young flesh torn to metaphorical shreds in her imagination, sins best left behind in the waters, Drifting limbs struggle to escape their bodial prison, a fragmented source of my imagination' Kicking and screaming I was carried by a strong pair of arms out of the water, the salty water burning my eyes and awakening me to the reality of what my stepmother had done- she tried to kill me. In her black hollow ... read more
The Abuser
'Bees suckling at the vipers breast, the honeysuckle wilting in the darkness of beastly breath, Lurking in the undergrowth of poison ivy the thief awaits, a net of warped kindness his gift to humankind. Down the rabbit hole is a tortorous smile, laced with magic venom to lull you into a never ending slumber' Part I: Aged 0-8 We live in a state where we are judged for straying from the norm, for having the audacity to step outside of societies limitations and attempting to brave the world alone. Both women and men are criticized for having free-will, for having the strength to be unique in a state that thrives on homogeniety. I am this woman, a 'social outcast' in the eyes of ... read more
Colourful Vegan Products To Try This January
If it wasn't for a mindful Veganuary, January would be her least favourite time of year. Where the days were short and the nights were long. Grey skies in the stormiest of hues, clouds pregnant with rain. The air biting, her hands numb. A haunting melody of melancholy, where the sun was a timid visitor. For in January, the warmth was rare. Eyes streaming, reddened cheeks. Feet that wanted to curl up and disappear. She dreamed of frolicking in summer again. Her favourite season. Where fat cats lay sprawled in daisy-fed gardens. Bellies up, demanding to be stroked. Purrs that reverberated into her very core. Gliding past statuesque trees swamped in green leaves. Twirling into sun-soaked ... read more
Mental Health Hacks To Beat The January Blues
It seemed like just yesterday when I had my first panic attack. Struggling to come up for air, swallowed breaths. In dark shadows where voluminous worries dwelled. Anxiety dancing like a tempest's gale. Whispering seeds of doubt into my mind, my nerves shaking on fragile ground. Anxiety would grip me in its rough callused hands, I felt like I couldn't breathe. That there was no way out. That I was drowning under the weight of overwhelm. I was stuck in a prison of thoughts that danced like a tulmotous storm. Stinging me, shocking me, its cloak murky grey. A shroud of dread, a fear that washed over me, like I was going cold. But it wasn't just anxiety that threatened to take over. I struggled ... read more
5 Books You Should Read This Christmas
She had many job aspirations over the years. An actress. A teacher. Someone who worked with animals. A singer. But there was always one constant. The desire to be a writer. Bound by ink, a weaver of dreams. A guardian of tales, a scribe of feelings untold. She would place a pen in her hand, feel the energy course through her veins. As a symphony of letters painted landscapes of hope and despair. Navigating the intensity of emotions, letting the catharsis spill out on the page. The words would be like a magic salve. Pressed upon her heart with kindness. Capturing moments that were frozen in time, a vessel of truths. It was her best friend ever since she could remember. Her one constant. A ... read more
Unique Christmas Gift Ideas For Holiday Cheer
In another lifetime she had been brought up with holiday cheer. Bubbles of mirth escaping her lips, rosy cheeked like a cherub. Her hair unfurling like rose petals, cascading down her back. She was the 'belle of the ball', the Princess of Christmas. Resplendent in a red velvet dress, a tiara wedged in thick wavy curls. Earrings twirling from earlobes, shimmers of gold trailing past her shoulders. She would sit at the table, a tablecloth adorned with reindeers that smiled. Holding hands with loved ones, let the Christmas feast commence. Engorged bellies pooched from eating. The memory of the crispiest of roast potatoes still haunting her mind. Bubble and squeak and all things nice. Carrots, ... read more
Indulgent Christmas Gift Ideas That Are Feel Good
She heard Christmas before she saw it. Cascading white veils, the ethereal chorus of nature's whispered hymn. Laughter dancing through the frost-kissed air, imprints of innocence. Each snowflake a fleeting moment of grace and solace. Falling gently, finding their own story. For Christmas was a season of joy, where the world was bathed in a warm and festive light. Though there were Christmases that she wished would be erased from her memory, there were others that made her glow. Christmases where the air was perfumed with sugared cookies. A dusting of icing sugar on the kitchen counter. Indulgence taking hold, with delicacies that made her mouth water. Hot chocolates steeped in marshmallows, ... read more
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