I was abused by someone who was meant to be in a position of authority, who was meant to be the 'replacement maternal figure' that I so desperately craved. Abandoned by my mother aged 2 and a half, my dad met my stepmum, aged six and well... my readers know what happened next. Jealous of my 'Dad' having another child who was not born to her, she played up to the 'wicked stepmother' archetype and would physically and emotionally beat me with her vicious words. In her eyes I was a nobody, a nothing and someone who was very much in her power. Because of her I have issues with my perception of body image, because of her I struggle to trust loved ones and because of her I have a constant guard up ... read more
Search Results for: abuse
How Childhood Abuse Turned Me Into A Warrior
I was a young girl, torn apart from her parents and plunged into the realm of the unknown. Born into a broken home, I found myself constantly searching for a home to call my own, afraid to mark somewhere as mine, when so many things had been taken from me. I was raised by a single dad aged 2 (and a half), childminded until I was 4, abused by my dads wife E until I was 10 and raised in care until I was 18. Is it little wonder then that in the space of 5 years I have moved 8 times, in search of my forever home, only to find my dream had never existed in the first place. You see I saw my life through numbers; my age was not a milestone but a memory of what life once was. But do I regret the ... read more
Stop Online Abuse
As I write this I am sobbing, depressed and feeling isolated from the blogging community. When I joined the blogging community I did so to connect and meet online bloggers but as of late I have received nothing but abuse and it hurts like hell. I have been called horrible names, been accused of doing things I have not done, recieved negative comments and been told that I deserve to die and should have never existed. Do you know how much it hurts to be told you are worthless, be told that your ugly and that my blog is shit simply because I stood my ground and fought for what I believed in? I don't care if my opinions are controversial because to be honest I don't care anymore, blogging is not ... read more
The Abuser Part 3
'Tangled claws caught in a web of hair the grit of sea salt burning retinas in the dank ocean Murky depths defined by hatred in a closeted space, the tide a relentless demon, Failing organs pulsating no more in the crunch of death, past shadows threatening to overcome, Young flesh torn to metaphorical shreds in her imagination, sins best left behind in the waters, Drifting limbs struggle to escape their bodial prison, a fragmented source of my imagination' Kicking and screaming I was carried by a strong pair of arms out of the water, the salty water burning my eyes and awakening me to the reality of what my stepmother had done- she tried to kill me. In her black hollow ... read more
The Abuser
'Bees suckling at the vipers breast, the honeysuckle wilting in the darkness of beastly breath, Lurking in the undergrowth of poison ivy the thief awaits, a net of warped kindness his gift to humankind. Down the rabbit hole is a tortorous smile, laced with magic venom to lull you into a never ending slumber' Part I: Aged 0-8 We live in a state where we are judged for straying from the norm, for having the audacity to step outside of societies limitations and attempting to brave the world alone. Both women and men are criticized for having free-will, for having the strength to be unique in a state that thrives on homogeniety. I am this woman, a 'social outcast' in the eyes of ... read more
How To Find Your Soulmate At Any Age
How To Find Your Soulmate At Any Age Finding love at any age is no easy feat, as you navigate your way through a murky corridor of f**kboys, engulfed in a sea of the unknown. Known as the underworld of dating, life can throw more obstacles your way than you can count fingers, as you dodge bad first dates, sniff out those cheating soundrels and tear your hair out in frustation. Trust me i've been there, and I never thought that I would meet the one . But meet the one I did. As someone who found the love of my life online in the most unexpected of places, i'm here to tell you that even the impossible can be possible. Whether you use Tinder, Bumble, Hinge to find love, meet your ... read more
A Letter To My Beautiful Angel In Heaven
On the 7th July heaven found a beautiful angel, pure and angelic, a soul whose heart was too pure for this world. She was framed by golden blonde locks cascading down her shoulders, sparkling blue eyes that lit up with joy everytime she smiled. Her rosebud lips, her pearly white teeth, her smooth fair skin, all features blessed by the angels themselves. But she wasn't just beautiful, she was kindness personified, an angel who would always put others first before herself, who would give to charity and donate to food banks, even when she was struggling with health issues all these years. Though her time on earth was cut short, and her vitality taken too soon, she will always be remembered, ... read more
5 Sex Bans Around The World That Will Shock You
When it comes to openly embracing 'sexy talk' no one is more outspoken or direct about sex and relationships than me in my inner circle. After all when something as beautiful, natural and pleasurable as sex is existent in our lives, then why should we suppress our automatic urge to discuss our turn ons, questions on sexual health or anything else that is related to getting down and funky, simply because society deems 'sex talk' as inappropriate or has sex bans? Well quite frankly I call shade; there is nothing wrong with being out and open about our sex lives, nor is it inappropriate to discuss taboo topics with our friends and loved ones, because we should all have the freedom to express ... read more
Why Heavy Periods Have Made Me Period Positive
My Period Story: What It Was Like Growing Up With Heavy Periods Growing up I was always the odd one out, a small slim girl with non-existent breasts, who according to my peers, entered the world of puberty 'freakishly late'. I was surrounded by friends with buxom chests and curvaceous butts, who would brandish their tampons around like it was a lipstick, cementing the fact that aged 14, I had still never had a period. And then it hit me like a tonne of bricks; first came the breasts, small dots on my chest, that I have come to grow to love with age, and a little butt that wiggled when I walked. But it was my little red visitor that surprised me the most, flummoxed by the sharp pain in my ... read more
Why I Stopped Posting On Instagram
It has been a while since I published an Instagram post on Faded Spring, nearly two months in fact,the time has almost passed me by. I could blame it on being busy but the truth is I needed a social media blackout, something which I have turned to many times in recent months for the sake of my emotional and physical wellbeing, in the aftermath of dealing with depression, anxiety and trauma. I struggle with mental health issues on a daily basis and while its true that I have posted Instagram Stories, interacted with people's content and blogged regularly, my decision to not post on Instagram was because I needed time away from something which no longer gave me joy or filled my heart with ... read more
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