I think we have well and truly established that there are some total ‘fuckboys‘ and ‘fuckgirls’ out in the dating world that give us ‘Good un’s’ a bad rep. From men who force you to babysit his kid, to being stood up, through to worst first dates and cringey chat up lines, it is clear that the dating pool is a tricky sea to navigate. Lets face it, the majority of us have had some form of harassment, unwanted attention or dates that have gone wrong but have you ever been cheated on… right in front of you? I have been cheated on several times in relationships and have met many a fuckboy in my time but unlike poor Tiffany I have never had my date make out with someone else in front of me! What an absolute douche, I can’t imagine how he still has a dick after cheating so openly in front of his date. While many might question whether it is classed as cheating as they were not ‘technically dating’ , to me going on a first date with someone demands some sort of respect for the person you are with right?
But as usual I am rambling, meet Tiffany; a 30 something fashion and lifestyle blogger with a background in PR and marketing. Offering brilliant commentaries on ‘body image in the media’ and her own personal perception of self as well as travel, fashion and lifestyle topics, Boho and Blush is Tiffany’s ‘self-made child’ which I seriously suggest you subscribe to immediately!
Cheated On, On the First Date – My Dating Disaster!
The moment HE walked through the door, there was something intriguing about him. Here for an interview at the Property Agency I was working for, this tall, slim, floppy haired and tanned skinned guy both caught and kept my attention. As he sat in the office with his back to me waiting to be called up to the meeting rooms above, I found myself watching him and wondering what exactly it was about him that was so captivating. As fate would decide, he got the job and several tumultuous years of my future were pretty much mapped out in that one singular moment….
He was in Property Sales and I was in Lettings, in a big open plan office which was predominantly male. The company I worked for was annoyingly traditional – outrageously sexist in my opinion – as they didn’t like women to wear trousers, both practically and figuratively. They liked us in skirt suits and heels and the management teams were pretty much always made up of men. Inter-department relationships among staff were hugely frowned upon but despite that, there were several managers who repeatedly had office affairs and in a sleazy bad cliché, there was many an occasion when I was inappropriately brushed past at the filing cabinet by a middle-aged, balding and potbellied little pig of a manager – but that’s an entirely different blog!
The property rental department was the non-traditional arm of the company and neither I nor my Manager liked playing by the rules. Every Friday night most of the office joined us in the pub, which is where the magnetism between the cheater and I really began. I suppose I should give him a name at this point? Let’s go with ‘Cheating Exhibit A’. I was in a struggling relationship, he was very charming and as my relationship folded, his and my ‘friendship’ flourished. I guess those closest to us could see the inevitability. He had a well-crafted, flirtatious technique with clients, charming everyone he met both male and female – his natural wit and confidence was something I both loved and was scared of at the same time.
He was the first guy I ever got to know properly on a friendship level before anything romantic occurred. A couple of dinners at my boss’s house and a very drunken day trip on the river in Oxford led to a closeness between us that meant a routine of eating lunch together by day and drunk dialling/messaging by night … which is when I decided it was time I really ought to become single. Once that had happened an ‘unspoken situation’ developed between us – at the pub he would be sitting next to me with my leg feeling positively electrocuted resting next to his, such was my magnetic pull to this guy. Drinking outside late on a summer’s evening, his jacket would be placed around my shoulders whilst others looked on knowingly and I reveled in the sexual tension that was building between us.
Then the awards time arrived. All year long each branch had its business recorded with different regions competing against each other for the most success. Once a year, all departments and offices came together at a five-star hotel for a lavish Ball, with awards for the most successful being given out. It was a massive deal.‘Cheating Exhibit A’ asked me to attend the Ball with him as his date which was a pretty big and public statement to make, given that office relationships were frowned upon so much – but he was never one to play by the rules either, plus we were at least in different departments and neither of us really cared about our chances for promotion!
I was so excited in the build up to the event that I bought a beautiful gown; black, one shouldered and slim fitting to the floor , the dress had a huge slit up the side and a wide, cream band that wrapped around the top accentuating my shoulders. The morning of the ball my hair was freshly dyed and blow dried to a glossy sheen and once I got to the hotel I spent bloody hours on my make up! I certainly achieved the effect I was after when I saw the look on his face as we met in the hotel foyer that evening and as we walked hand-in-hand into the ballroom to have our photos taken, my heart was racing with excitement…. Who would have known a couple of hours later my carefully applied mascara would be streaming down my face and a deep red wine stain would be spreading over the top of my beautiful gown like a bleeding wound from my heart…. (Ok perhaps a tad overdramatic there, but you get the gist!)
An hour of socialising, drinking and manager ass kissing later, we were seated for dinner at huge, round and lavishly laid tables. Cheating Exhibit A had been seated opposite me with a manager on either side of him and pretty much immediately I could see, she who will be known as Miss Piggy (that’s possibly a bit mean but given the circumstances I think you’ll understand) giving him a flirty vibe. I knew she was in a relationship and without being conceited or too derogatory about her, I thought she wasn’t much competition on a physical level, so at first I thought I was being paranoid. Five courses came and went, along with a multitude of empty wine bottles and I could see the intensity of their flirting increasing.
As coffee was served, right there in front of me, they started to kiss. My blood ran cold and as if in slow motion, I looked at my boss, who was also watching them, and back again…. and asked Cheating Exhibit A “What are you doing?” thinking that by breaking the kiss he would grasp some reality – rather than Miss Piggy’s face. He looked up bleary eyed and said “I don’t know”, then immediately returned to sucking on her snout. How f*cking dare he! I was filled with such rage and total humiliation. Everyone we knew from the different offices had seen us arrive together so knew we had gone public with, whatever the hell it was – infatuation? insane sexual chemistry? … love? And some of them were actually seated at the table with us.
My eyes caught the full jug of iced water at the centre of the table and I’m proud to say that as I rose in a slow and dignified manner, I even took the time to ask the lady sitting on the other side of Cheating Exhibit A to move her beautiful black tulle ball gown out of the way. As I walked round, lifted the jug and very slowly and carefully poured the entire 2 litre contents – including ice cubes and slices of lemon – over their entangled heads, I was vaguely aware that pretty much the whole room was now watching.
As the freezing water sloshed over their snogging forms, they broke away in shock and a wave of something unidentifiable went over his face as he saw mine start to crumble. Then, as many a girl has done before me, I ran, spending the next hour sobbing in the toilets and slugging back wine with my friend as a variety of girls came in and out of the toilets asking each other if they’d seen what had happened. Somehow in the process I managed to slosh a large red wine all over the front of my beautiful dress and despite a very attractive waiter sponging down my cleavage with white wine which supposedly removes the stain of red – it didn’t and the dress went in the bin – along with my respect for Cheating Exhibit A.
I eventually put my face back together and returned to the Ballroom, hit the dancefloor and smooched a very attractive young guy I’d always fancied from another office…. and Cheating Exhibit A disappeared. He was found in the early hours asleep and alone on the floor of a hotel corridor. I would like to say his treatment of me meant it was the end of our story, but I’m almost embarrassed to say it wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t cave and go running to him within a matter of weeks – trust me, it took months…he was a huge love in my life and he didn’t ever cheat on me again …. but sadly I never fully trusted him and I guess that was what eventually ended our story.
What would you have done in that situation?
Poor Tiffany, while it made me laugh, I was laughing at the sheer ludicorsity of this cheaters audacity to try and come crawling back to Tiffany. Sadly I have known guys who were like Cheating exhibit A but I admire Tiffany’s calm and dignified grace, although I couldn’t help a fist pump when she stated she threw water over them! Yes gurl you better werrrk! I think the main lesson to learn here is that cheating is wrong and if you are ‘not into the person’ you are dating then don’t string them along and pretend you are interested. Do the right thing and let them down gently. After all honesty is far better than making out with Miss Piggy 5 minutes later isn’t it?
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Have You Ever Been Cheated On?