We have all been there, met a guy we liked-whether that be online or in person- and realized that they are not as ‘nice’ as they make themselves out to be. Whether it be because they are hiding an extra girlfriend (or two) or just using you for sex, these fuckboys know how to trick you into being their side chick and trust me its not an easy situation to get yourself out of. I have been on enough dates to be able to spot a f***boy from a mile away and hit the ground running but sometimes I let my heart do the talking and the consequences are not pretty. Luckily after a string of disastrous dates, I decided enough was enough, my heart was no longer on loan and these f***boys were about to get a piece of my mind. So in dedication to all those fuckboys out there who think they can treat us like dirt… ‘Not Today Satan’.
He Says he’s into you but secretly he wants to fuck your friend
Its happened to me, its happened to friends, hell its probably happened to your grandma! These fuckboys are one of the worst types of men that you can find in the dating world. The story began last autumn where I met one of the most gorgeous men I had seen in my life. He was beautiful- at least on the outside- and was ‘interested’ in getting to know me more. But that all changed once he met my friends and he seemed indifferent, cold even. He started ignoring my messages and I got the hint pretty quickly, he just wasn’t interested. I felt a little hurt but figured he must have been busy. It turns out I was wrong, behind my back he was messaging a close friend WHO HAS A BOYFRIEND FYI and asking her to meet up, even though he knew about ‘said boyfriend’. And when I say meet up, I mean f**k because that is exactly what he asked her to do. Of course she said no but the fact that this guy had the audacity to message my friend, thinking she would meet up and f**k is beyond me.
And I’m not the only one. An American friend of mine met a tall Canadian guy who she really liked and he spent the whole night flirting with her. Turns out he was only flirting with her to catch our other friends attention, he straight up messaged the first friend and said he wanted to ‘f**k her friend and was not interested in her at all’. When she asked him why he led her on, this dickwad had the cheek to say that he wanted to look more ‘attractive to her friend’. Seriously, what an arsehole, boy bye…
The guy who’s a commitement phobe-no second dates for this fuck boy
I mean was I on a different date or something because I am pretty sure you told me you liked me.. This f***boy says all the right things, acts like a gentleman and is effusive about his undying admiration for you. Oh and he’ll promise a second date because he ‘can’t wait’ to see you again and is already planning what you guys will do next. Sometimes its movies other times its picnics in the park but chances are he’s getting your hopes up about the ‘second date’ he’s promising you. But then his true colours show; he cancels plans to meet up at late notice, ignores messages and only texts you when he is bored. This actually happened to me recently, I met a guy who seemed like a perfect gentleman but then guess what? Once again he turned out to be a commitment phobe who said all the right things but never seemed to want to meet up again. After the millionth excuse I got the memo and stopped texting back. After all I have already had my heart broken so I’m not planning to make the same mistake again. People listen up, if the person who promised the second date is constantly cancelling and making excuses then chances are there just not that into you. I’m sorry, the truth hurts but I have been down that road enough times to tell you that it just isn’t worth it.
The one who thinks you’ll get ‘him free s**t just because you’re a blogger
I remember quite vividly a message left for me on POF and it read as the following ‘Oh your a blogger that’s cool, you must get a lot of free holidays and clothes right? So you wanna hook up or something, we can become the worlds biggest power couple and I can come along for the ride. I just quit my job so it would be fun to get your perks right?’. Well let me tell you something MR Hookup, have you ever heard of a two letter world called N-O? No well I’m about to use it a lot so you better listen up f***boy because I’m about to tell you straight up what I think of that proposal. NO, NO, triple NO, just because I am a blogger does not mean that I get a lot of free shit. FYI its not free, its in exchange for my work and secondly I work god damn hard to receive the products or events I get and in no way is it acceptable for you to think that you can use me for those perks. I’d always treat my partners nicely and of course ‘take them a long for the ride’ but your not my boyfriend so I don’t have to do ‘anything for you’. The fact that this guy presumed that I get handed things on a plate and he could take advantage of my success was ludicrous.
The fuckboy that’s only after one thing
Yes I’m looking at you, you know exactly who you are. The guy who only wanted to get to know me because all he wanted to do was f**k me, he wasn’t interested in my personality or having an in-depth discussion with me. I mean I should have realized that this f***boy was only after one thing when I asked him what his favourite thing was about me and he replied ‘my bum’. I mean I have a face too is that worthy of merit? Or even better you know an actual personality, something which this guy clearly had not. Clearly this guy was only after sex because I caught him cheating with a best friend at the time, who claimed that they ‘weren’t doing anything’. Well it doesn’t take rocket science to figure out that two naked bodies + grunting= sex. To make matters worse a few days later I had found out that this f***boy had not just cheated on me with my friend but 5 other girls too. Do you know what his excuse was, ‘oh sorry I was high on magic mushrooms’. Wow okay let me get high and go burn some buildings. Oh but do you know what? It’s okay because I was high. I’m sorry it doesn’t work like that, I don’t care if your the Queen I’m not buying that bullcrap.
He tell’s you he’s single but he actually has a girlfriend
Oh wow this F***boy is the f***ing worse. If I had a pound for every guy who tried to hook up but actually had a girlfriend i’d be rich. And ya know, maybe able to afford my rent each month. I was at a blog event a few weeks ago where I met this guy who seemed super interested in me so when he asked for my details I of course gave them to him. Not only after ‘super-sleuthing’ did I find out he was in a long term relationship but that girlfriend was at the event with him and he still had the cheek to flirt with me, all under her nose. I tried to get him to confess to having a girlfriend but he never ‘fessed up’ so I ignored his ass straight away after that. I have been cheated on many times as I am sure many of my readers have too and I know how much it hurts. Plus I actually met his girlfriend without realizing it and she is lovely. How some men think its okay to have more than one slice of cake baffles me. Ladies I don’t mean to be over-cautious but if your think your boyfriend is acting suspicious then please investigate because chances are he is messaging other women under your nose. A friend of mine even found her boyfriend on an online dating site when they had been together 3 years! Safe to say she dumped his ass and threw him straight into the gutter where he belongs!
The fuckboy who likes to think he’s Hugh Heffner
Fuckboys beware because you don’t have anything on this f***boy. I once went on a date with a guy who not only boasted about the amount of women that he slept with but also stated how he likes to ‘change things’ up and have a pic ‘n’ mix of ‘women on the go’. Those poor, poor women, little did they know that this arsehole was dating multiple women on the go. Or maybe they did and just didn’t care because he was ‘hot’. Ladies I don’t care if he looks like Zac Efron, get yourself out there and find someone who actually likes you and whose not just playing with you because he is ‘bored’. Listen up, its not the mother freaking Playboy mansion okay, this guy is just a wannabee Hugh Hefner who think its ‘cool to be a tool’. Well its not, its childish, its pathetic and its downright lame. Here’s a clever idea, go find yourself a hobby that doesn’t involve screwing over all the women that will have you. Try that on for size.
The Guy who talks about himself for 5 hours…
I have been quite lucky on this front as this has only happened to me a few times but I’ve seen friends go through this enough times to feel like somewhat of an ‘authority’ on this subject. A friend of mine once went on a date with a guy who was attractive but had no presence whatsover. In fact the only thing this f***boy was passionate about was talking about himself and she couldn’t even get a word in edge wise. Not once during the whole date did he even ask her ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT HERSELF. When he had the cheek to say he ‘felt’ the date had gone well and he couldn’t wait for the ‘second date’ she quite rightfully blew her top. She gave it to him straight and told him that if he ever wanted to get past the second date club then he would actually have to make an effort and ask his date questions about herself too. Because ya know, noone wants to date an egomaniac.
He seems normal but really he’s your stalker from 5th grade
This was a few years ago now but I remember meeting a pretty cool guy on a night on and we got on like a house on fire. I had this vague feeling that I knew him from somewhere but I couldn’t quite place why.He started liking a tonne of my Facebook photos, sending me countless messages and then getting weird if I didn’t answer within half an hour. I thought that was strange but then I realized why I knew him. I didn’t recognize him at first because he had lost a lot of weight and changed the way he dressed and how he looked. But he was my old stalker who used to send me creepy notes and put them in my bag when I wasn’t looking. He also would stare at me a lot and sabotage any guy that he saw me talking to. It wasn’t anything mind blowingly weird but I know that other people have met people who were actually their stalkers and been harmed because of it. This guy is more than just your average f***boy but a potentially dangerous psychopath who clearly has unresolved issues. A lot of the time they might not be able to help it, whether that be due to mental illness or anger issues but the main thing they need is help. I think my stalker ended up being expelled because I didn’t see him again until that strange encounter but he is nothing compared to other stalkerish fuckboys out there.
The guy who calls you frigid if you don’t send nudes
I have lost count of the amount of fuckboys I have found in the dating world who call me frigid if I refuse to send them nudes. Let me set the record straight, I have no problem with people that send nudes but I myself don’t feel comfortable sending them. Especially when you breakup and your picture can get posted on the internet for the whole world to see. No way mam, there is no way that I want the whole world to see my bits because even I don’t find genitalia pics a turn on. I mean come to think of it, I never ask fuckboys to send me dick pics so why am I suddenly frigid for not wanting to send one in return? My body, my choice simple as that. The problem is so many young girls, even boys are being pressurized into sending nudes because they are worried they will be ostracized if they don’t. Let me tell you something its okay to say no but at the same time if you feel comfortable sending nudes that’s okay too. Just don’t feel like you have to because some f***boy is telling you that you have to. There are worst F words after all, I use a lot of them in case you couldn’t tell…
The Guy who thinks he’s punching below his weight
I was once on a date with a fuckboy who paid more attention to kissing his biceps than attempting to make conversation with me. Sure he was fit but a brick wall had more personality than this asshole. And do you know what the worst thing is? He actually turned around and told me that he ‘rates’ women on the scale of 1-10 and I was about a 5. Wow I mean wow why the fuck would you go on a date with me? He told me he just broke up with his ex and together they were both ‘solid 10’s’, safe to say I was well out of that date. He even had the cheek to ask me if I wanted to go on a second date… is he mad, I’d rather go on a date with a goat then make conversation with MR muscles again…
Have You Ever Encountered Any Of These ‘Fuckboys’ In The Dating World?
Of course not every Dick and Harry is a f***boy, in fact most men are quite nice and wouldn’t dream of treating women like a piece of crap. So forgive me for sounding like a manhater ( I’m not) but it is that 0.2 % of the male population that ruins it for all those nice guys out there. Plus this post was written from a humorous perspective and is in no way shape or form an attack on all ‘mankind’ but rather an observation of the types of men you can get when dating. #YourwelcomeFelicia
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