Why does it always come to this? I finally meet a guy I like, who seems to like me back and then poof, as if by magic they disappear. Suddenly all the flashbacks from the nights past turn sour and I think to myself was it just me or was I on a different date? I shouldn’t do it but I always blame myself, thinking that I am unworthy of a second date, thinking why me. It depresses me and suddenly I am aware of being caught in the chasm of time. All around me friends are getting married, having children and here I am, unable to get past the second date club. I think to myself that I have finally found someone who likes me for who I am, but I guess I am always wrong. They laugh at my jokes, compliment me, tell me they would like to see me again and then once again nothing happens. I try to make conversation but it feels stilted, forced even and I know that they are not interested. Its pretty obvious and I have too much pride to fight for something that is a lost cause to start with. Friends tell me that it is their loss but is it? Maybe they can see behind the ‘happy mask’ I put on and realize that I am not who I present myself as. Or maybe I am just not their type, I have no idea, no understanding except the overwhelming feeling of sadness every time it happens. It has been so long since I have found my perfect match and although I didn’t care before, didn’t mind that I was single, now I feel lonely.
I want someone to wipe away my tears and tell me I am special everyday. I want them to kiss away that furrow in the middle of my forehead and turn that frown upside down. Is that too much to ask for? I am quite adept at dealing with rejection by this point, lord knows to survive ‘life’ you need to develop a ‘thick skin’ but I guess I’m a little more vulnerable than I would like to admit. I don’t want to tell the truth, I don’t want to admit that every time I open my heart to someone new, the scars bury themselves a little deeper. But the truth is I do want to find someone now, I never believed that I ‘needed’ a guy to make me happy and still don’t but I guess I miss feeling like a Princess. When you find someone who likes you for who you are, it’s like you have struck gold and the whole world goes into slow motion. It’s the best feeling in the world but how would I know? After all I have never been in love, only in love with the idea of being in love and I think I have cracked the code as to why. Growing up I was bullied and abused and as a result I had a warped perception of what ‘love’ was. When I was mistreated by the ‘guys’ that I supposedly ‘loved’ I thought it was normal and excused it as ‘artistic temperament’. Well let me tell you something, it’s not normal to be called names by guys who are meant to be your boyfriends, to be made fun of or physically attacked. That is never okay and the day I realized my worth was the day that I became single. Since that day I reveled in singledom but all that time where I convinced myself that I didn’t need a ‘man’ was at best a hollow lie. I wasn’t being honest with myself because I , like millions of other people, lied to myself daily.
At Uni my Princes turned into Demons and the sweet words that dripped like honey in my ear became venom. I was a broken shell of my former self but still I kept pretending, pretending that I was okay with all my friends finding their ‘happy afters’ around me. It was all a lie, I wasn’t happy, in fact I was jealous, bitter even. But that doesn’t make me a bad person, it just means that I am human and most importantly being honest for the first time. I have been on so many dates in my time that never progressed past ‘the second date club’ and for the most part I was able to ‘heal’ and move on. I thought I had accepted that it was part of life but the truth is I was lying to myself again. When I found someone I liked but they were not the person I thought they were I felt wounded. When I liked someone but they liked my best friend I cried into the empty silence of the night. But when I dated someone who took my breath away and said all the right things I felt hopeful. Then reality came crashing down and my happy ending turned sour and that happy go lucky optimism was transformed into anger. Not at them but at myself, for making myself vulnerable again and letting them into my wounded heart. But can you really blame me for seeking that perfect fairytale romance? I know that real life is full of ups and downs but it breaks me to feel like this, to feel that I am not good enough and will always be second best.
Listen, I can deal with rejection but if you lead me on then I feel trapped in your web of lies. I thought we shared something and as cheesy as it sounds there was a connection, at least on my part. But you still text me, its always on your terms though and then at other times you ignore me. I can’t keep up, I feel like a dancer suspended in flight and I don’t want to have to be the one who makes all the effort. Your not a bad guy, I know your not and I will never utter a bad word about you, but don’t you realize how badly you hurt me? If you’re not interested then just say so, I am a big girl I can take it. But what I can’t take are these murky waters we seem to be treading. I feel like a pawn on your chessboard, chained and only set free when you say so. I should probably ignore you like you do to me but I can’t seem to shake myself from this spell you have me under. I know I need to cut the chains for my own peace of mind though, because everyday I feel a little more of myself breaking apart and its killing me inside…
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Oh bless you, sometimes it is just a case of not meeting the right person. It sounds like you have been through a lot, perhaps look at healing before letting your guard down. Sometimes talking to someone can really help make sense of things in the past. You will meet someone when it is the right time for you and everything will fall into place perfectly!
It’s a long time since I last dated, so I can’t really remember how difficult it was if I’m honest. However, many of my friends are in the same boat so I know how hard it can be nowadays. If I ever split with Nathan I’d definitely avoid dating! I hope things pick up for you soon as you totally deserve to be happy
Louise x
Cant force it baby. True love will come when it comes. Remember I met my hubby at a funeral!
I was single for so long in the past and I even prepared myself to remain single for the rest of my life until one day my hubby came into my life. Life can be unfair to us even in romance, but life also could treat us fairly. Just hang in there, Ana. Your time will come when your dream as a Princess fulfilled.
Honestly, you’ll find the right person at some point, in this day and age, finding someone isn’t easy, but you’re a beautiful girl with a lovely personality, so you’ll get there. x
Lots of love,
Marina Rosie x
http://marinawriteslife.blogspot.fr/
I have to admit that I am so glad I am not dating in this day and age. My cousin is having similar issues. My tip is to learn to love yourself and the confidence will shine and attract the right person. Good luck
I am guessing these guys don’t call you back for a second date because they don’t feel worthy of you. You’re the whole package, so try to let it go and know that there IS someone right for you out there.
There really are just tons of jerks out there, playing the field and not wanting to commit. It’s not your fault and it’s definitely not because you’re not enough. They just can’t take anything seriously.
You might have heard it before, but love comes creeping up on you at the most unexpected time and place…If an shy person like me could find it, I am absolutely positive that you will
I hate dating! LOL I have to agree with the others. I’m guessing these are the wrong guys and looking at your blog, they are probably intimidated. Great dress! That silver looks great on you.
Dating seems to be so much harder these days. I believe there is someone out there for everyone, sometimes it just takes a while to find them x
I am a firm believer in whats ment to be will be. You have not found the right guy yet. It will work itself out in time
My mummy found love when she wasn’t looking for it. But it’s not all roses, finding love is hard work and keeping in love is hard work too. Some blokes aren’t cut out for it, that’s not your fault – it’s theirs x you are gorgeous- it might be that they are feeling inadequate x
Cheer up gorgerous. I have been in your situation a few years ago. Don’t put up with the man who isn’t taking things anywhere. He will drain your energy like anything. You’re right to break away for your own mental peace. Trust me, one fine day you will bump into your soulmate. And then all this drama would seem like a joke.
I am glad, I found my soulmate. Positive vibes to you, to find yours. <3 Lots of love. 🙂
In a few short months I will be 30, no kids, no boyfriend or anything resembling one but you know what I am ok with that. I have been where you’re and all I can say it forget them and love the whole of you and someone will come along. I believe everything for a reason and these no second date guys may not be what you should have in your life. They might seem like what you need now but might be wrong for the future. Learn the art of loving you and someone will recognise that too
I understand this article completely. Finding the right person is tough I wish the best of luck to find the right person for you!
Now a days getting a true love is not that easy, but surely everyone gets one it take time, So just wait for the perfect time and perfect person.
http://www.xclusivefashionmeetslifestyle.com
As I’m sure you’ve been told again and again, it will happen. I too was single, very unhappy, and feeling broken when my (now) husband entered my life. In a million years, I never saw that coming. I would never have looked for a widowed man with three boys, yet once we met, I knew immediately he was “the one”. Life is kinda funny that way. Keep writing though. I do enjoy your style.
Oh lovely, it’s so hard to date in this day and age. When I found myself single at 28 after 11 years with my ex husband, it was like entering a whole new world!! I had a fair few first dates and very few second, and I did feel disheartened and rejected, and as though I would never find someone special. But….I did, and he was worth waiting for, I’m sure your prince will come. xxx
One day a strong man worthy of your love will come your way. This will happen when you least expect it. Until then, be yourself, love yourself and have fun xx
Dating is the worst! And I’ve always met guys who are either into themselves or just want to get laid (and both). Don’t worry…you’ll find the right guy at the right time. Someone once told me, you’ll know he’s the right guy bc he found you, and not the other way around. Keep being positive!
http://www.beautifully-created.com
Hi, You’re such a strong women to share this blog. I totally know how does that feels and wish that I have advice. All I can say is that you really don’t need anyone to be happy. You’re a gorgeous, strong lady that millions of people wish to be with you.
I think many ladies have felt this way at some time in their lives. You just haven’t met that good match yet, and once you do you will realize he was worth the wait!
Meeting special people is not easy nowadays but not impossible. Everything would happen at the right time, I remember saying this to a good friend who was lonely 2 years ago and now she is married and even has a baby. I know it sounds cheesy but everything happens for a reason. Kisses ♥
For years I was single. And to make it worse, I worked in sales at a dating service, selling people the fantasy of love. Here’s what I can say from my own experience and from working for a dating service. A lot of men aren’t relationship material, even if they say they want a relationship. Guys who are inconsistent or mean are never worth it. You can be single for years and then meet the most amazing man. If I had settled for one of those loser guys I’d dated in the past, I wouldn’t have been available when my husband came around.
I married my best friend. I think love comes along when you least expect it.
I haven’t ever dated really, it sounds awful! If I were dating I would have thought just like you, like it’s my fault that they aren’t calling me again.. But instead of thinking that that guy could have been the one, you should think that you now are one date closer to finding the right guy.
Girl you are beautiful, and you seem like a lovely person so it is for sure their loss! For a long time I was having a hard time getting past one date… I even “dated” a guy who had a girlfriend that I didn’t know about (what a jerk).
I am sure you will find someone. But I can imagine this can be frustrating. I really don’t have advice because I got married to my high school sweetheart when I was 19.
This silver dress is fabulous!
I’m very lucky that I never actually had to date. You’ll find the right one eventually!
Poor you, there is someone out there for you. I’d given up on love but my son told me that I never let him give up on things so I joined match.com and met my partner Chris. We clicked straightaway but I know of others who are still searching and not been lucky yet. My advice: never accept being second best
Ana put these negative experiences behind you…tomorrow is another day as Scarlet O Hara famously announced at the final scene of Gone With The Wind…….Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life…….work on yourself and get happy and Mr Right will just breeze into your life Hun……….. XXXX
I honestly believe that things happen for a reason. If the relationships are meant to be, it will click and you’ll get second, third, fourth dates and who knows what after that! It’s all about not settling and when the right person comes along, he’ll be happy with the you that you are, whatever that may be! Try not to focus too much on the bads, just look forward to the goods that will come. Don’t let it shake your confidence. A confident person is an attractive person. Just keep moving forward and don’t worry too much about those that choose to be in your past.
It’s such a shame but I hear from friends that dating is really hard these days. I am happy in the sense that I don’t need to worry about it all now but feel for all those struggling to find love. You will find someone just when you don’t expect it, be yourself and the right person for you will come along eventually x
You’ll find your Prince Charming one day I’m sure of it! 🙂 Love the dress x
Ohh I’m sorry to read this. Just when you are not looking or not expecting it the right one can come along. Good luck, Mich x
I can’t even imagine dating in this day in age. I am sure it isn’t an easy thing to do. The right person will come along though!
I know sometimes it can’t be easy at times, I am sure you will find the right person though
It’s been a long while since I was dating but I can tell you that I’ve heard this a few times from people in their teens/20’s. More a lack of communication than commitment. Embrace what life is offering right now. We’re not all destined for ticky tacky houses, with a white picket fence and 2.4 kids.
soulmates are worth waiting for
I think the saying holds true, you’ll go through a lot of frogs before you find your prince! He’s out there for you, you’ll find each other one day!
You will find the right person when its right. Really. Dont force it. After my divorce I was NOT interested in any relationship. At all. I only wanted “guy” friends. But – when I wasnt looking or focused on it, it happened.
I’ve never had problems getting a second date but some dates just never got there either because the first date I just knew NOPE isn’t going to work. 1st date is the first time to make that first impression.
Love is patient and it finds its way to us when the time is right. Right now it is just weeding out those that aren’t a match. It’ll be ok.
Back in college I was apart of the second date club. Just have faith and patience that someone will come along. I know it is easier said than done. xxx
You’re not broken .. you are good. And my dear .. you certainly are far from second best! Remember .. not everything is as it appears. Yes it’s easy to look around and think “every has somebody and I don’t” .. but maybe their relationships aren’t good ones? Or the kind that you know you can have. The maturity you’ve gained from the school of hard knocks? Invaluable. The maturity you’ve gained from bing single and learning to love yourself? Invaluable. It will serve you well when the relationship is right. Your Mr Right will come along .. this I know for sure.
You’re young and you have your whole life ahead of you. It may be that you just haven’t found the perfect one yet and all you’re meeting are frogs who promise you nothing. I think it’s nice to enjoy yourself first, make time for the things that you want and need.
Dating is sooo frustrating! I’m totally more of a relationship person. I hate the awkwardness of trying to begin a relationship. I know it’s necessary, but no fun to me!
Wow! This is so sad. I am so sorry to read this. I know I have felt rejection before. And I know that I have had people vanish on me more than I would like to admit. I could say it’s me and focus and blame myself. But truthfully, at this point, I don’t think that’s the case. I think people are perpetually distracted by things now and so they don’t invest in a relationship the way they would need to in order to make it work. Also, they are always searching, even while their dating; and there is always a shiny new toy out there that catches their eyes. It is sad that dating has turned into this, but it’s turned into this way more than I would like to admit. I want to just find someone and not be their whole world but be important enough for them to want me in their world with them, as I would want them in mine. You are stunning! Stunning! And you have a big heart, are intelligent and fun. Any guy who can’t see that to get into that second date club is blind.
I can relate to this so much, but on a different level. I can get to and beyond the second date – because men seem to find me easy to use. Not for sex, maybe, because ironically, that’s the one area where I have no trouble setting and maintaining boundaries. But the rest? Beyond the second date? For me, it means a lot of feeling lonely even when I’m not alone. It means wondering when the switch flipped, and how it’s possible to so suddenly go from “his sun and his moon” to … well, nothing. Either way, it feels awful.
What a gorgeous dress! don’t worry, its not meant to be just yet. Keeping swimming and you will get to your destination before you know it.
xo
Molly
http://www.allaboutgoodvibes.com
you look stunning! You don’t need a man to be as great as you are but if you want a partner anyway, don’t worry, the right one appear, it’s a matter of time to find a prince. Just be as you are 🙂 x
I felt sad for what you’ve gone through. Don’t lose hope. Remember, every cloud has a silver lining.
It’s not easy to put yourself out there and find out that the person your interested in is not interested in you. It definitely hits your confidence level. I learned to fight through it though and keep reminding myself that I just haven’t found the right guy, until I did and it was worth it. Give it time, he’ll show up I’m sure, he’s just a little caught up with improving himself for you.
Don’t bother yourself. You will meet the perfect person very soon.
I hate dating too! I keep telling myself that if I keep living my life and going out and about, doing the things that I love that the right man will come into my life one day. I totally empathise with what you’re feeling though.
When I was in a position very similar to you, I would go insane when people told me “you just haven’t met the right guy” or “don’t try to hard”, but in hindsight, and after meeting my partner of 17 years at the age of 32 and totally despairing of ever finding someone, it’s true. I was actually seeing several different guys very casually, for the first time in my life as I was always a “all or nothing” kind of girl, falling in love at the drop of a hat and never looking at someone else, and this meant I didn’t care as much as I would have normally. And there you have it. You can’t be who you aren’t, and you can’t switch off your wanting to have a man to cherish you; but there will come a time when you are not paying attention and not giving a man your all, and it will happen. x
Finding a genuine and honest people is really hard to find nowadays. That’s why sometimes it’s really hard to trust someone especially if you have a bad experience with those kind of people. Dont lose hope. You’ll find love soon.
In time the right one will come, Ana. And when he does, you will know in your heart he is the ONE. I thought I had my prince when I was young, but of course, youth = heartbreaks. Charge it to experience. I worked to achieve a better me, and now I am happy me and my husband found each other. To infinity and beyond! 🙂
Men will lie their way into anything. I think it’s important that we learn how to distinguish the serious ones from the ones who just want you in bed with them. I’ve experienced my fair share of boys like this as well.
It will happen when its right hun, plus it will come when you least expect it. I’m a firm believer there is someone out there for everyone. x
everyone finds their man eventually , you jsut need to be patient and the right one will eventually find his way to you x
This such an honest, open and real post. Hun do not blame yourself, sadly these things happen. Just keep pushing forward and focus on other things – such as your fab blog 🙂 You will find the one in time 🙂 x
Some guys are probably intimidated by how pretty you are!! Don’t give up. God is working on finding your soul mate and wants to only send you the perfect one!
The dating pool and dating world is so difficult to navigate. There’s the urge to grow a thick skin but the truth is that it never really helps. It just means extra work when you find someone you can be with. Why change you for the world
I completely understand what you’re saying and I have no idea why some guys behave like this. But just know that when the time is right, it will all work out x
I feel you! I used to feel the same when I was younger. Just hang on and I’m sure the one you’ve been waiting for will come along soon.
Belle | One Awesome Momma
I’m sorry you are feeling this way. Better not having a forced second or third date, then being in a miserable relationship that never should have been.
Sometimes the things we want most are the things that keep eluding us. Focus on you and what you love doing. The rest will fall into place when you least expect it.
Dating can be really brutal, especially nowadays but I genuinely believe there is someone out there for everyone so chin up!! you will make it and find your special someone
I know it is easy for me to say this but you will find the special one, probably when you least expect it and he might possibly have been there all along x
Dating isn’t always easy. Whenever things don’t go right it is easy to listen to friends who say it is the guy’s loss. And of course it is, but I think we also have to look at ourselves to see if we are picking the wrong guys or doing something that lets the think we don’t want to go past date one.
I have never really traditionally dated but I can imagine that it would really wear on someone! You will find someone! Fingers crossed for you!
Some people are such D*cks!! You are a gorgeous confident woman who has amazing style. You are going places and maybe they aren’t secure enough in themselves to be able to handle a wonderful person such as yourself.
Take your time, one day that person will be there in front of you and it will all click
Bless you, I’m sure there is someone out there for u. I believe that what is meant to be will be and things happen for a reason. I am aware that its easy for me to say but I do really believe that.
I went through many frogs before I found my prince. For me it came down to faith. I wanted someone to love me like Jesus loved the church. I actually prayed that! Little did I know five miles away a man was praying that if God sent him another woman to be his wife (he was divorced) that he would love her like Jesus loved the church. So how did we meet…match. Yep, we lived five miles apart but God connected our praying hearts on an internet dating site. LOL! We are best friends and live happily ever after! Be patient. Think about what you really want and don’t settle for a frog!
This dress is so gorgeous on you! Someone will show up! Give it time, you are gorgeous and confident. Who wouldn’t want that?
You will find the right one. I am single after two long term failed relationships and have reached the conclusion that I am better on my own! I do get lonely though – and I do have four children. Kaz x
Hang in there but remember that you have to keep your standards where you want them, and don’t lower them just to have a second date!
The dating scene can be frustrating. I think love will happen when you least expected it but the waiting is hard.
Hi Ana. I had a few horror stories too. I even had one GF cheat on me and although I forgave her, I knew that our relationship wouldn’t last.
I did eventually meet the princess of my dreams and married Angela from ‘The Inspiration Edit’. I would not say I have tonnes of patience for various things in life, but when it came to finding the right person, patience is one thing I think we all need to have and gain and some point in our lives.
I am sure you will meet Mr. Right one day. Hang in there, he’s out there.
John M
So sorry you are having such a rubbish time with dating, it is such a hard world out there now with dating and there are so pretty rubbish men out there. It is so easy for people to say ‘their loss’ but it is so true and they weren’t meant to be. Life has a funny way of planning thing for us.
Honestly, I am so glad that I am out of the dating scene. I feel like dating has gotten more difficult since I was dating my husband. I also hate liars and don’t deal very well with deception.
Its hard to find the right person. Just when you think you’ve found them they turn back into a frog (no offense to frogs) And sometimes you get a second date and the whole time you’re in it you wished you had stopped after the first.
Dating has become so much harder. I loved the teenage days when it was easier. And with my friends getting married, I sometimes just think whether I will even go on a date in the near future or not.
Hang in there girl! I know how hard dating can be, but I know you’ll meet someone who will be perfect for you soon!
you are a very strong and calm woman and truly at the right time and the right person things will fall in place. remember one thing…. YOU ALONE CAN BE YOU, so you don’t allow the surroundings determine love for you for you will live with it for as long as possible. be strong and hold on a bit, things will be in place soonest.
Haven’t had any problem with that since I don’t really go on a date. I usually meet another guy at a coffee shop, have coffee together and just talk. Without expecting anything more or a second date. Because of you will expect for a second date, you’ll just get disappointed every time.
Ana, if only you could see the world from other’s eyes. But I know this only too well. I’m over twenty years older than you, and still remember that feeling. What I see of you, from reading your blog, I see a beatuiful young lady, with such confidence, even with all the hurt you have experienced. I see you have blossomed and grown. And I can reassure you (I hope) that how you feel about dating will not last forever. The right thing will happen in its own time, and when you least expect it. I’m afraid the hurt, and the confusion, and the fails is just part of the experience.
As always, a fabulous post my lovely! Please try not to get disheartened. I waited a long time until I finally found the one and we are celebrating ten years of marriage now. Every day he makes me feel special and everyday I feel blessed even when I don’t want to lol! it will come to you my lovely, it will!
It breaks my heart to read this all but I think there’s so much truth in it. You’ll always meet certain issues looking for someone or being in a relationship but I just wish people were honest with each other, is it too much to ask for?
Lots of love,
Mal Xx
Oh man I don’t miss this at all! I think the reason this happens is that there are a lot of commitment-phobes out there and I’m pretty certain it is them and not you who is the problem having been through this so many times over but eventually the real deal will reveal himself I promise x
It’s been too long since I’ve dated, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I never thought I would get a second date from my Husband. It didn’t go great at first. Keep at it! He’ll be there when you least expect it.
For a long time I was absolutely the same, I could never get past a first date and I’d forever think a date had gone well only to never hear from the guy again. But fortunately I stuck it out and found someone worthy of my time, and you will too! x
Don’t worry sweety, the One will appear when you not expect 🙂 Don’t rush enjoy in your dates 🙂
I have only dated my husband. I can’t imagine how hard it would be and the rejection. It would make anyone feel bad.
I have to say that I haven’t had this experience. I started dating my husband the summer after I graduated high school and it stuck 🙂 I have been reading a lot about relationships for millennials these days (I am of the older end of that generation) and it seems so difficult and complicated to find the *right* people. Things are so incredibly different now with technology playing such a huge part in the entire process. I don’t think it is silly to want the fairy tale at all!
It’s been too long since I dated. I find it’s so hard finding a date now a days. It’s like where have all those good men go? Hopefully, someone worthy of your love will come by.
Omg im so sorry you have been going through these bad experiences! There is a light at the end of the tunnel I promise! Right now you just keep following your dreams and your heart <3
Love,
Ivelisse | CarnationDreams.com
Their loss for sure! I don’t get men at all. Trouble is most of them are after one thing and then move on. Totally not worth the effort. I’m sure Mr lots of dates will come along soon for you.
I think that things happen when it’s least expected. Don’t fret!
That is an amazing dress. I can not imagine what it is like to date in this day and age. When it is the right person you will go on many dates together.
I went through this for the longest time. I never thought I would get a second date there for a while. What I found was that I was the one who needed to change my outlook. I was looking for the wrong type of person. I finally took a chance and went out with someone that I thought I would have nothing really in common with nor would I really like him. We went out several times after that, and I fell in love with him. We have been married a little over ten years now. Perhaps that will help you figure it out some. I am not saying that it is what you need to do, but I would consider looking for a different type of man than what you have been looking for. You may be surprised.
Girlll you’re fine. Don’t let some guy you didn’t hear from make you feel like it’s your fault. That’s his loss.
Ana, one day you will find the right person that will treat you like a princess, I totally believe in fate so just hang in there .
Ana there will be someone there for you, you probably just havent noticed him yet, but he will be there!
Aw Ana you are gorgeous and successful and one day the right man will come along and treat you like a princess. I struggle with dating too, and go through phases where I like being single and other times I feel lonely. I can only think we’re both attracted to the wrong men? x
From the time we’re little girls we’re told, over and over, that one day we’ll ‘meet our Prince and be swept off our feet’. While some people are lucky enough to get the fairy tale, most of us have to make our way through lots of frogs! Your life will unfold just the way it’s supposed to – in the meantime, just be you, and make the very most of the young and carefree years!! x
I’m a great believer in everything happens for a reason. Hard to comprehend when you’re living it. Somewhere out there is the right guy for. Every frog you come across brings you ever closer.
You are a stunner Anna… I love that dress!! It so perfect on you!! The whole outfit is gorgeous!!!
And here I thought I was the only one! Dating is not easy and I almost hate that we have to do it in order to find a partner. I will hope and pray that your dating experiences get easier – you’re gorgeous and your perfect match is out there!
I know exactly where you are! I have decided to friend-zone any possible suitors before the first date because that second date dissappointment business is so difficult. Been there, done that!
Dating is so hard. I felt like this was me in my 20’s. All my friends were getting marries and I couldn’t get a boyfriend. I was a bad picker though. Always picking the wring type of gut – attractive but commitment phobic. It will happen girl, promise.
True love and the perfect one will come at the right time you can’t predect it but you can feel it.. its what you call destiny
Ah yes. More reasons I do not miss dating, not even a little bit. (Though I agree with others, perhaps you are putting your toes in the wrong pools.) I fear I might have been the one doing most of the heartbreaking before I settled down. Perhaps you can find yourself on that side of things…
You are such a lovely woman and I cannot imagine any man doing that to you. I’m sure you’ll find the perfect person for you one of these days.
I think I’ve mentioned this recently, so I apologize for repeating myself. I’m leaving my fiance of 11 years next month and the thought of dating really freaks me out. When I was younger it was all about going out and meeting people. Now it seems all my single friends are on dating sites like Tinder and Plenty of Fish. I don’t think I’d want to sign up to sites like this so I think I’ll struggle to ever find a first date when I finally feel ready to move on, never mind make it to a second one. It sounds horrible out there! I hope things improve for you soon Ana xx
It’s been a very long time since I was in the dating scene, but I can tell you now, the only time I got to a second date was with the lady who become my wife and mother of my child… Before that, it was almost impossible.
It’s been 4 years since I was on the dating scene with my husband that is memorable for me but now he’s not a kind of sweet anymore
I honestly think it’s hard to find someone who is mature enough to deal with career-oriented women. But I still believe that someday, the one who is for us will come and wipe those tears away.
please be careful to not let being lonely lead you to the wrong man. It is truly far better to be single than to be mismatched.
Dating is hard. Finding someone that loves you for you and will stick around through thick and thin is rare and special. I have been blessed to find my life partner, but it is not always the case and I know many people who are where you are or have had to start over.
On another note, you look amazing in that dress, and I love those shoes!!
I feel like dating is so difficult these days – people just don’t want to do it conventionally anymore, and that’s really sad. I hate that you’re having trouble meeting people. I know how you feel, but I have to believe the right person will come someday, even if it does feel like all the people around me are getting married and having kids already.
-Lauren
This was such a lovely post. It was truly from the heart and I felt such compassion when reading this. I think, as women, we struggle because we want to be independent and feminists, yet we sometimes fail to realize that it is still possible to be independent and having a healthy and loving relationship with someone else. I felt so lonely for the longest time. I got rejected by a lot of guys. Finally, I have a great guy. So, all I can say is don’t give up. And sometimes that person will waltz right into your life when you are not expecting it. And give some totally random people a try – they might be the coolest and you never expected it. Trust me, I never thought I’d date a dramatic actor. And I couldn’t be happier.
I really think many of these failures to get a second date are because you are no longer willing to put up with less than you deserve and these men are just not worthy of you and are not meant to be your prince. One day you will come across that man, perhaps when you least expect it, and it will all work out x
I can’t even find the bloody door for First Date Club let alone Second Date Club!
Hang in there. You will find the right person in time and dating is so hard. Keep treating yourself nicely and remember the right one is worth the wait!
Hugs, sweetie! Your prince will come and he will be someone that truly deserves a beautiful soul like you.
I am thankful that I don’t have to go through the dating scene anymore. It can be such a mess! Just don’t change who you are and one day when you least expect it the right person will be on the other side of that table not just for a second date, but for every other date you could ever want to have 🙂
I think this is a major problem for the big city life. Everyone is so much into themselves these days and they treat dating like a job interview – judging the people they meet with some bullet points and stupid criteria and never get satisfied.
I’ve seen people – both boys and girls, who’ve just had the most amazing date with a person they’re totally into. On the next day, the inner voice tells them – if I just had this awesome date, imagine what I can find next?! I want more, I want better!
This characteristic of a spoilt child who always wants more and can never be satisfied… is a major problem causing depression and loneliness.
There have been a few times, and Its always horrible, especially when you think it has gone so well and that they like you. Im so glad to be done with dating.
Oh bless you, I’m sure your Mr Right will find his way to you when you least expect it 🙂
You know, this has happened to me recently and I am still wondering what was in the guy’s mind. The situation was a bit different, it wasn’t really a date but it was dinner. I was on holiday and I wasn’t looking for anything, but he was really cute and I enjoyed the time spent with him, we really seemed to connect. When I got to my hotel I received a nice text from him and he continued to text me. When I got back home I was curious so I googled him. And guess what I found? His Facebook profile with his wife and kid as the profile picture! :))
The dating game is hard! It’s hard to find the right person. Especially these days with busy lives, people don’t seem to have the time or motivation to put the effort in.
Chelsea | http://www.chelsea-elizabeth.co.uk
Wow so well written… Definitely thought provoking too. Hold on and the right man will come along, don’t settle for any less in the meantime!
Oh its okay Ana, you should go fishing again. The ocean is so huge, and its a good thing — the best one will approach your boat 🙂
Haha I am having major issues getting into that club! Oh well, My time will come!
Ah, this makes me sad! It IS there loss and don’t ever forget that – these losers are just patting the way for Mr Right. Jo x
Ana I really feel for you. I was never really part of a dating scene having been with my previous boyfriend for nearly 5 years before meeting my husband soon after that relationship ended. We actually met online and talked for 2 months before meeting face to face but I instantly knew he was the one. He later admitted he knew too.
Your Prince Charming will come hun, I’m sure of it. You are a beautiful lady and if nothing else you are getting rid of the toads until your frog comes along. And he will. And what’s more you will be more than his Princess, you’ll be his queen. Keep faith x
I am sure someone, somewhere is made for you and when the right time comes you will know who it is. I am sure these moments will only make you appreciate and cherish that time forever.
I definitely know where you’re coming from with this, it feels like it’s just getting harder to meet someone who wants the same things in life – and it’s not like we’re asking for anything extraordinary, is it!?
Aww I have a friend who feels exactly like this. I’m sure it’ll happen when you least expect it x
Getting a first date is hard enough don’t put too much pressure on yourself for a second one. When I met my husband I just acted like there were guys lined up around the corner and he had to get in line. And I sure wasn’t waiting by the phone for his call. LOL
I guess we really have to go on some circumstances to be able to be on the right path and meet the right person. Something might happen to us along the way and just believe that there is a reason why. We may not know it when it happened but afterwards, we will be grateful it happened and that there is a lesson we learned from it.
It’s been a long time since I dated, but I guess I remember a couple guys I never went out with again. Be patient, the right one will come to dry your tears. Its more important not to date one that makes you cry..
You’re clearly very passionate and very loving and that’s why you’ll meet a fantastic guy! In the meantime, take dating for what it is – a chance for you to have fun meeting new people and finding out what you do and don’t want. If you don’t get to that second date, is it the worst thing? Better to rule out the frog early before you’ve mistakenly made him your prince! 😘😉
Kat x
Don’t be in a hurry. There’s always a right time for everything. Keep yourself busy with the things that make you happy that way you don’t get depressed or you don’t feel rejected.
Dating can be so tough! I totally understand how disheartening it can be. But once you find the one it will be all worth it!
I married a very long time ago, so haven’t been dating in over a decade. I am sure you will meet the right person soon! Good luck! 🙂
When the time comes it’ll be worth it as you deserve to be happy. Think a lot of people can relate to this blog, shared on twitter @nattsjourney
I did date a few guys that were jerks before I found my prince charming. Don’t worry the guy you are meant to be with will come around. Just have your eyes and heart open.
I use to feel and think the same things when I was dating. It’s crazy how twisted your mind gets.
Looks like you have been through a bit. Sorry to hear that. Your are still young and the right man will come laong real soon.
Oh Ana I’m sorry! I would take you on a second date!
Seriously though, I don’t really know besides reading your blog and talking to you briefly on messenger..but you come across as a kind, knowing, witty woman. And very strong. I think one problem that women who are as beautiful as you are face is that many men feel intimidated to ask you out, and the ones who don’t tend to be cocky bastards. Then there’s the issue that once you have been through abuse, abusive people seem to be able to sniff out your hurt and want to exploit it. It’s harder to do than to say, I know, but trying to heal fully (or close to fully) before putting yourself out there may help mitigate that issue.
Have you ever tried approaching guys yourself? It’s scary…super scary for me anyway…but I guarantee that if you do, you’ll find a sweet cute guy who was too afraid to ask you out and who will be so glad you did it for him. I hope you find someone who treats you like a princess. You deserve it.
So sad to hear you’re feeling like this. Remember the more you look for the right guy, the less chance you have of finding him. As soon as you’re happy with yourself the right guy will come along 💚
Bless your heart! My best advice is to just love yourself. If you focus on you and spend time improving your self-worth and building character, someone will come along one day that won’t be able to live without you. But by then, you won’t NEED someone, you’ll just welcome them into your world because you WANT to. And that is power, my friend.
I am sorry for everything you have been through. I completely understand that finding the right person is hard. Sometimes we don’t even know what the ‘right’ person should be like – in the least someone with decency and kindness. Being happy in your company and being peace with oneself is the most important I feel.
P.S. You look great in these pictures!!!
❥ tanvii.com
I think the fact that you made the decision to be single and to stop putting up with not being treated as you should be is a true testament to your amazing strength and resilience. No matter how much you want another person to share your life with I always think it’s important to be comfortable with your self and your own company before being comfortable with someone else, that way you know what you deserve and you won’t settle for less. From what I’ve read you’ve come a long way in your personal journey and I woke heartedly believe that at some point you’ll meet the person who really deserves your time and your love but until then I think you’re a pretty strong & amazing person who doesn’t ever have to settle. X
You will know when the right guy comes along, everything will just seem natural and just all fall into place. Keep your head up love. When the right guy comes along it will be so worth the wait!
XO-Lisa
http://www.thatssodarling.com
I know a lot of people who have trouble dating these days. It’s not like it used to be. Now everyone has such a short attention span and there are so many “options”. The internet and dating apps actually make everything harder. I really hope that you can find someone to be your companion but you also have to love yourself first. I know advice like that doesn’t make it any easier. I just think that when you are dating someone, think about how you feel when you’re with them, are they worthy of you? Not the other way around. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot so you know that you never want to settle to be with someone just to be with them. I see that SO MUCH because people hate dating they just end up settling. You don’t have to settle for anyone who doesn’t appreciate you. And you just worry about what makes you happy.
Hi Love, it’s your favorite dating blogger and I don’t want you to think I’m feeding you cliches, but I truly believe it hasn’t worked out yet because you haven’t met the person you’re destined for. I believe that there’s someone out there looking for you, needing, and wanting to be your hero. …the hero you deserve. Don’t feel pressure or rejection from situations that didn’t/haven’t panned out. They have to get out of the way for the real fairytale ending. Hold your head high and know you’re “friggin awesome” and no one can take that from you!
In my experience, you can’t force something that isn’t there, nor should you! Sometimes you end up meeting the right person when you least expect it.
i was single for a long time and never really focused on meeting someone, I focused more on improving myself that paved way to meeting more people and increased positiveness around me. I think this really helped me attract the right crowd and met my partner for five years now and loving him more and more. http://www.crayonized.com
I am so glad I don’t date anymore! I too had trouble getting to the second date.
I imagine dating can be tough. I can’t really give much advice though, I got married when I was 19 and I’m still married. I’m sure you’ll find someone for you!
I have not been in such situation but what i would love to point out here is that when you meet the right person there will always be a second date.
I never saw it as a 2nd date club. I liked guys and thought we were OK but turned out nope as well. I think most of them it was not anything I had invested in so I wasn’t to heartbroken. I’m sure it’s hard and I hate to say that the right one wi come along but you never know. I say enjoy life and stop looking and let them come to you.
I am so glad not to be dating at this point, however my friends that are dating have so much fun when they don’t push it and just relax and let things works out on their own!
Your true love is still out there. You will meet your perfect match when the time is right. And it will probably be when you aren’t even looking for him! Just keep the faith. Good things will happen very soon.
I have been there honey. I was set up with a guy by a mutual friend and he said and did all the right things on the first date. I didn’t really like him but he wasn’t half bad either. And then he didn’t call and I felt rejected by a guy I didn’t even like, I mean come on!
I completely understand you! Finding the right person is so difficult, you ‘re so pretty, strong and lovely, you need someone special! Be sure, you ‘ll find him soon, don’t worry at all!
I had never heard of the second date club. Was not even aware of the term. I might have been part of it once now that I think of it. But I was abroad so could not care less. I think that is their loss and people ghosting you are just not worthy of you or your match. You’ll find your match I am sure!
Oh yes girl, preach! I’ve been there and it can sure be frustrating to say the least.
I think it is normal to feel this way but I still believe that someone is destined to you. Maybe the right time in not yet coming. So enjoy first your single hood and for sure, the right man will come at the right time.
You look great. And, yeah there are lots of jerks out there.
Love your dress. You will know when the right man comes along. When it is meant to be it will. 🙂
The dress looks beautiful on you.. I’m sure, you’ll meet the right person when the time comes.
Dating can be very hard to do. I believe there is someone out there for us all. You will know when you find the right person. I have not dated dated in years. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Girl you spoke to my soul! I am single and it just seems like more and more men don’t want commitment. I am like you I am yearning for love and it suck when everyone is around you engaged,having weddings and popping out babies. Hang in there…you are worthy and so am.
You are looking so beautiful,hope you find right person and happy with him.