From a young age I have struggled with my body image; I have a disorder known as BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder ) which alters my perception of how I see myself in the mirror and how I ‘believe’ others see me. I grew up with poor self confidence; I was abused by my stepmother and bullied throughout my teenage and young adult years, for the way that I looked, including being ‘too skinny‘ for societies personal tastes. I was called anorexic, skinny, scrawny and a bag of bones to name a few and was often taunted for having ‘small boobs‘ because according to the bullies I looked like a ‘boy’. The more people were negative about my weight, the more I became obsessed about the way I looked, constantly checking myself in mirrors, not as a show of vanity but to find constant criticism about the way I looked. When I was rejected by guys, I told myself it was because they thought I was unattractive and when people commented saying I ‘needed to put on weight’ I cried.
Learning how to overcome BDD, is never an easy road to recovery and while some days are worse than others, I no longer hate the body I am in. I have grown to love my small boobs and be okay with my slim, petite figure. I am not perfectly happy with the way I look by any means, but I am proud that I have taken the steps to be more kind towards my body, especially now that summer is here. Being uncomfortable in my own skin, means that I very rarely wear a bikini or a swimsuit, because I am always conscious of how I will appear to others. But I have realized now that I need to stop giving a f**k about what other people think and start concentrating on how I can learn to love myself. As my idol Ru Paul once said ‘If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?’. I am slowly making progress though, at the age of 15/16 I never wore dresses and would wear baggy clothing to hide my body from others and now look at me, freaking rocking a swimsuit!
When it comes to choosing swimwear, it always sends me into a panic. I fixate on the comments that people will make ‘you have no boobs why are you wearing that’ or ‘your not curvy enough to wear that’, all comments that are often said in good jest, but being the sensitive soul that I am, I take it to heart. I remember a fellow blogger who made comments about my ‘weight’ saying that I was not ‘curvy enough’ to be as ‘big as her’ as though weight is a indicator of success and how bad it made me feel about myself. This year though, there are no f**ks given, take it or leave it you don’t need to be a particular weight to wear any item of clothing no matter what fashion magazines say. If I listened to half of the advice that well meaning friends or family said to me about clothing choices ‘oh why are you wearing a low cut top, you have no boobs!’ I would be dressed in a freaking sack half of the time. Sorry not today Satan.
But why did I go for a ‘one piece’ rather than a bikini, if I am learning to be body positive, with swimwear specialist Simply Beach? Put simply, being ‘body confident’ or positive is not measured by ‘what you wear’ but how it makes you feel. As much as I love bikini’s the majority of the time they make me feel self conscious, whereas I love the retro silhouette of an ‘all in one’ which creates the illusion of a fuller figure. I am not worrying about how my ‘boobs look’ or whether my food baby has launched itself into the unsuspecting world, instead I feel sassy as f**k and honestly that’s a freaking great feeling to have. Simply Beach not only taught me that it’s ok to rock a ‘hourglass silhouette’ with a petite figure, but that regardless of figure type, cup size or views on body image, finding a swimsuit to help you feel ‘body positive’ has never been easier.
And here is where the exciting news comes in. As of today, I have found out that my entry into winning a holiday in Tuscany ( you can find the winning post HERE) was declared the ‘ultimate winner’ and this has given me even more incentive to stop covering up and embrace the body that I have been given. So bullies be damned, I will wear those swimsuits and bikinis and believe me I will wear the f**k out of them, whether the trolls like it or not. No longer will I let their careless whispers about my weight affect me any longer, like the leeches that they are, I will brush away their insults and feel comfortable in my own skin. Because it is not just Simply Beach, River Island or other brands that have taught me to be body confident, it is also you my readers who have inspired me too.
Bloggers like Laura from What Laura Loves, have taught me to love the bodies we have been given because whether society likes it or not, no two figures are the same. Whether you are plus size, slim, athletic, muscly or petite, we should appreciate the fact that we are all made to be different and embrace our uniqueness. Don’t let the people around you feel bad about yourself, buy clothes that make you feel good, surround yourself with people who make you smile and above all love yourself deeply. It saddens me when people are negative about other people’s body image, because the long term consequences of your words can often be damaging.
You might think its ok to use that one word about someone else’s weight but what you don’t realize is how it can make them feel bad about themselves for a very long time. When bullies referred to Tiffany as the ‘big girl’ she lost a lot of weight and was unhappy in the body she was in. All because of that one comment, Tiffany had found it hard to accept the figure that she had and to this day, she struggles with seeing her body in a positive light. While its a long journey to accepting who she is, Tiffany has stated that she is learning to love her body more and more each day, and as someone who has BDD it gives me hope, that I too can be thankful for having a unique figure. Regardless of what society might deem as ‘attractive’, I couldn’t give two hoots and that’s the truth.
What Makes You Feel Body Positive?
*Disclaimer
Please note I was gifted this swimsuit and a hamper in exchange for this post but this does not affect my views and all opinions are my own.
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You look absolutely incredible! I’m so glad you are starting to feel a little more confident. You are a beautiful lady, inside and out x
I am not body confident but I also don’t feel it’s very important in my life right now. I love the print on your swimsuit though!
I struggle massively with body confidence and always have. I think it’s very hard to feel confident in swim wear, particularly when you have body dysmorphia, sometimes just the thought of having to wear swimwear brings me out in a cold sweat!! For the record, you look amazing and I’m glad that you have learned to realise that.
I totally agree with you.. Its not what you wear, but how your personality carry and wear it. And I really hate part of you being bullied.. for whatever reason it is unacceptable. Each of us are created unique, so everyone must respect and appreciate that. Btw, you look gorgeous on that swim wear!
You are perfect as you are. Keep moving forwards and ignore the negative people.x
Congratulations on winning you well deserve it. I think this looks so much classier than a bikini but I hope one day you will get to the point of your journey where you love yourself enough to wear one x
lovely swimsuits! How I wish I have the guts to wear one of them. I am honestly not confident to wear swimsuits. Never been in my entire life
You look fantastic and it’s great to find different styles that suit different body types! It is hard to feel truly confident, particularly with social media and the ability to change the perception of how you look so easily!
You look astonishing gorgeous and that is dress is perfectly made for you. Well I am Speechless by the way you look.
A good fitting swimsuit on the beach makes me feel confident and I love this one on you x
Love the heels! Gorgeous.
First off, congratulations on your trip to Tuscany win! You will have a blast in that fab swimsuit and new attitude. Keep us posted.
Yes to this! Being body positive comes from within but it can be hard with all the media rammed down our throats. Loving the swimwear on you.
Well done, this couldn’t have been easy to post.. you look stunning
Congrats on winning the trip to Tuscany! That is awesome. And you are darn beautiful the way you are! I think you and I both are two peas in a pod when it comes to this body image issue. I give you big props!
I like your style. For someone who suffered from BDD, you sure have moved over all that. Keep on shining.
I haven’t completely, something like BDD is something that can affect you the rest of your life. The main difference is that I am not letting it rule my styling choices x Thank you 🙂
This looks beautiful! And honestly, I prefer a one piece bathing suit. I actually like to swim when I head to the pool and beach and worry that 2 pieces will come off easier in the waves and when jumping or diving!
Congratulations on your win! It always makes me sad to think that some people go out of their way to make someone else’s day bad!
(hubby helping out)
I can relate to this so much… I have always had problems with body confidence and other people bullying and making fun of me when I was younger did not help. And I’m atill working on it. I know that it probably won’t mean much (because I personally tend not to believe it when it’s said to me) but you really look very beautiful and the swimsuit is so pretty! My own goal is to become confident enough to wear at least a one piece swimsuit again… 🙂
You look amazing, love the swimsuit you picked. Have a great time in Tuscany x
Hi dear, very lovely post and glad to read . Congratulations on your win. You look gorgeous.Keep rocking who you are . Bravo 👏
I’m constantly battling with my own body image demons but I’m getting better as I get older. Wearing clothes that make us feel confident is half the battle. You look stunning 🙂
I absolutely adore that swimsuit! You should be proud of your figure, as well as having the confidence to do this shoot. I’m quite critical of myself too but after 3 kids I’ve focused what I like & try ignore the bits I can’t change.
I absolutely love this post and I completely agree with you about What Laura Loves, she’s wonderful! xxx
You are a beautiful human being inside and out, and you deserve to feel that way. The swimsuit is gorgeous!
I can relate how it feels to be called skinny. When I was a child, I was also called that and even now sometimes people say. I don’t mind anyone now because I just ignore everyone! No one has ever said anything about my boobs though, otherwise I would have punched them in their face.
Congratulations on your win – you look incredible and I love the print on the swimsuit 🙂
So many congratulations on winning your trip! Ana, that’s fantastic. If anyone is deserving of a vacation, it’s you. I was grinning from ear to ear when I read that. As for body image. I’ve struggled for a long time with it for a long time too. Maybe now that I’m over 40, my perspective on life has changed, I’m not entirely sure. But somewhere along the way, I stopped looking at all the things I thought were wrong, and instead started focusing on being a little kinder to myself. I’m not 100% there yet, but it’s made a world of difference to my spirit. By any chance have you read Gloria Steinem’s book: Revolution from Within: A Book of Self-Esteem? x
You are great inspiration for all women. Keep up the good work.
Beautiful swimwear, I would usually pick a full swimwear too as I am a bit conscious of my body after having 4 children. You look great Ana, you have a lovely figure 🙂
You are an inspiration. Every one of us feels like our bodies are flawed and that affects our confidence. I now vividly remember one of my high school teachers (a nun). She was our teacher in personality development and social graces. She said, “If you are not confident with your body, always remember a rule of thumb – flaunt what you have and hide what you don’t.” I still do that to this day. I have a large waist, so I choose dresses that draw attention away from my mid section. 🙂 For swimwear, I always wear one piece suits with ruffles or big bold colors in my chest area.
those shoes are a killer, love them and what a cute overall outfit! Anyway becoming confident in your own body is tough and a long process – you deserve to feel beautiful because you are a kind and stunning person in and outside! x
Congratulations on your holiday win, sounds like the perfect holiday to roadtest that gorgeous swimsuit
Well done on the villa win you really deserve a break and a relax. And I love the swimsuit, such a lovely print x
Now I am looking forward to seeing you wear this swimsuit in Tuscany! I have suffered with body confidence and still have a wobble now and again x
Good to know that bloggers like Laura also helps you to build your confidence. At first I never thought that you are wearing a swimsuit. It is elegant and can also be used as a normal top.
Your bathing suit is beautiful! And I’m OBSESSED with those shoes!
Fantastic post, you look amazing as always and congratulations on winning the holiday, that’s wonderful! I look forward to reading about it!
I absolutely love that swimsuit and you know what it doesn’t matter how thin we are or how beautiful other people think we are if we don’t feel the same on the inside then it doesn’t matter. I am so glad you are gaining more confidence and wow on winning a holiday that’s such fab news X
Statistics sat that over 65% women feel under confident about their bodies so you are not the only one and we are the victims of that belief. We need to learn to love ourselves and embrace imperfections.
I’m still trying to get my confidence up when it comes to body image. I was bullied at school as well so my self love has never been good. You look amazing in that swimming costume. Those bullies are the onesvthat were wrong. X
First of all congratulations on winning the Tuscan competition. It was a great and in – dept post and you deserved to win. Ana, sometimes I wonder about us females and ask myself why we are so against each other……….I still haven’t found the answer to this. There are no guarantees that you won’t have mean comments thrown at you again…..only this time round you are a strong woman with lots of possibilities and shouldn’t give a F..K! x
For so long I was completely unconfident about myself and the way I look. But then I just ended up saying “f*** it, I am who I am”. Since then, I’ve been feeling much better about myself.
i think you should never listed, what people are talking about you, just stick with the work, you like to do and carry on
I think a lot of ladies are experiencing this too. We should just embrace and love ourselves so we can live happily and peacefully.
You look fantastic – and well done on winning the holiday!
People that are critical are usually just trying to deflect attention from their own flaws, ignore them! You look fab. I don’t plan to let the world see my tum again after having 3 kids so would choose a one piece everytime now to keep myself feeling confident
I can relate to everything you described. While I was growing up I was so skinny and I hated my body. I ended up wearing boys clothes, and they looked like I was wearing a bag or something, but now at 32 I feel amazing. I gained 5 kilos and for the first time in my life I learned to love my body.
I literally love that swimsuit, and it looks great on you too.
the swimsuit look fab! There is so much pressure to not be too big, too small, too short or too tall and a million and one other things. It’s hard to remain confident !
The swimsuit looks lovely. You look amazing. Don’t let anyone make you think any different.
Gosh I love and need those suits. I’ve gained some weight recently and have been so self cautious about wearing a suit. These look perfect, especially with the wrap.
I agree that words can feeling affect how people feel about their body and weight. I still recall nasty things that were said to me as a child and i can’t seem to forget. The photos are great and I love the paring of the two items.
I love some of the swimsuits you recommmended. I think this happens to a lot of people where they are not confident in their bodies. However, I think loving the way you are and just being you is what makes it awesome!
I completely agree with this statement “…..love the bodies we have been given because whether society likes it or not, no two figures are the same. Whether you are plus size, slim, athletic, muscly or petite, we should appreciate the fact that we are all made to be different and embrace our uniqueness”.
I use to think about what people thought of me but overtime, I have learned to accept who I am, the choices I make and what I have chosen to become which is very liberating.
Congratulations on winning your trip to Tuscany! That swimsuit looks amazing on you, well done for choosing to wear what makes you feel good 🙂
I am not body confident at all especially since after having the girls. The swimsuit is lovely x
I’ve never heard of Body Dysmorphic Disorder before. I know it could be a little difficult accepting to here sometimes but you really do look beautiful. I also dislike some bits about my body but recently I have been trying to accept myself and not care what others think about me. It’s really hard but I’m getting there.
My body confidence comes and goes. I am learning to love myself more for who I am and how i treat others rather than self-hate. . Growing up I was teased, shamed, and made fun of for having dark skin. I love my skin colour and my body shape is something that alters depending on what I am going through, Once you can love yourself, the way you look in the mirror will be more appealing. Motivating to hear how strong you are.
There’s definitely no shame in picking a one-piece over a two-piece. I personally would do the same. Body posi is a process 🙂 you should be proud of how far you’ve come.
i bet they won’t be saying anything now aye!!! i think we all go through the caterpillar stage and I’m glad you came through to be even better and stronger and be able to share your experience too! you look fantastic!
I’m really happy to hear that you’ve really worked on your relationship with your body.
You’re looking absolutely incredible in your swimwear, the print you’ve chosen together with the cut is so beautiful and looks great on you. Thanks so much for saying what you did about me, I really appreciate it and it was a lovely surprise as I was reading your post. Congrats on being declared the ultimate winner, I couldn’t think of anyone more suitable! Well done xxxx
Its not what you wear its about how it makes you feel – Love that sentiment its so true!! I love the piece on you it looks awesome also, low necks weren’t created for people with boobs anyway so people that advised you against that in the past were wrong! You look gorgeous!
BDD is a horrible thing to deal with as we can’t escape our body at all. I also think society has a lot to answer for, making people feel at odds with the way they look. I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum being overweight and know what it’s like to deal with negativity.
You look so beautiful in that swimsuit! I do struggle with my body image daily, with the bombardment of media it can very difficult to feel confident.
I find I can have a different opinion of my body every day of the week! I’m glad to hear you’re in such a better place now with your BDD x
Thank you so much for sharing your milestones and your ups and downs with us about staying body positive. I just love your one piece you picked…has a gorgeous print and structure.
I have a slim body but never that I became confident about wearing any swimsuit. Your story just motivated me how to have the positive outlook about myself. Thanks to you.
Congratulations for winning the trip to Tuscany. You work really hard and deserve it. The swimming costume looks amazing on you, you’ll knock em dead in that Tuscan sunshine xxx
You look amazing, I love this swimming costume, it is gorgeous! I understand how difficult something like BDD can be, and your recovery is inspirational.
I personally don’t feel body confident at all at the moment but we’re not going away this Summer so no need for swimwear until next year!
when i wear something that represents me, i feel great. i don’t have to show skin to feel accepted, i could put a t-shirt with shorts, and i feel positive about my body. great post by the way!
I love the suit! I’m liking one-pieces more and more recently and I always love an awesome palm pattern!
Darling, do not let those haters tell you anything! You have an amazing bod and one that I would kill for LITERALLY! The swimsuit and those shoes are everything!
I loved swimsuit on you..!! Oh yes, not to mention those glasses and shoes,perfect..!!
Congrats on the win! That is super cool!! Also, I love this swimwear set – you look stunning.
I love the bathing suit your are wearing and ones you suggested a the bottom, I have never been a fan of the bikini and these pieces are very classy and fashionable! I also love the wrap, This a must for me during summer or I turn into a lobster!
The beachwear this summer really is perfect to hide some little unsecurenesses. You look great in this one
That suit from Simply Beach looks great! I love the shoes too. I personally wear a long sleeve swim top over my suit because I am super pale and burn just thinking about the sun!
I totally agree. Nobody is perfect, the point is how positive we look ourselves. People will be attractred by your beauty in your heart, your body positivity.
First, I’ll say… you are GORGEOUS. I can relate to you in the sense that people often make skinny comments and/or ridicule me for being small framed. It gets annoying and I make it a point to let them know that they wouldn’t walk up to a larger woman and boldly complain about her weight. I defensively educate people quickly when this happens. Stay strong! You’re amazing!
After two kids I hate wearing bathing suits! But you look amazing in this suit! I really like the cover up you have on, I think it would make me feel more comfortable! I need to get one for myself!
This article is truly inspiring and you are such a great storyteller. BDD is not easy to overcome but through everything you have been through, you are such a brave warrior to be able to tell it to us how it is! We can’t thank you enough for that!
That is such a great swimming costume. Body positivity is such a big thing for so many people, it always makes me smile when I hear people saying they are learning to love their body.
I absolutely relate to that post. Swimwear is always the trickiest. And loving your body in it too… says the girl having an ice cream while reading ahah
This is so lovely. I admit, I can be nervous when I put a swimsuit on, but I remind myself that I shouldn’t be. I am who I am and should be proud of it.
I really needed to read this. After my daughter was born, I never put a swimsuit on (I am only 24)! I think the coverup would be great for me until I feel more comfortable in my own skin!
WOW! Congrats on winning a Trip to Tuscany! I don’t know about you, but I’ve never won an actual contest so this is big! You look amazing in your swimsuit. I am somewhat conservative about what photos I post of myself online, but I am working on it. I hope you enjoy the trip.
I’m working on accepting me but am more accepting or others. I applaud others who flaunt proudly what they have. Picking the right clothes for your body type also helps with you comfort level.
This swimsuit and cover up looks fantastic on you. I think it is so important for us all to learn to love our bodies and stop body shaming.
You look fabulous! I love that swimsuit. I’m not massively body confident if I’m honest, my body changing so much after kids has not helped but your post has inspired.
My older sister told me “The day you ignore people and what they think, beautiful things will happen.” She was so right, and I guess beautiful things are happening with you too because you chose to move on and fight to get to your goals and full fill your dreams. You are a beautiful person and a smart one too 🙂
Wow, I’m also not quite confident to wear something like this. But thank you for this inspiring post, indefinitely makes me feel better and btw the swimsuit looks good on you.
You look great in the swimsuit and cover-up! It’s hard to stop listening to all those bad comments from others. I’ve learned over the past several years just ignore them. No one is perfect. You need self-confidence to happy.
You look very beautiful in that swimwear. The blue and green floral patters looks very classy. I am sorry that you have had such a rough time from bullies trying to tear you down. People can be so mean and cruel at times. I can understand it would be difficult to accept yourself when you hear all that negativity. I am so glad to hear that you are making progress on that front. You truly are a beauty.
You look absolutely amazing! Thank you for this post! Most people think because you’re skinny or petite that you have it easy, and don’t have any insecurities or BDD. But it’s hard to hear every day “Omg, you’re so skinny/tiny or oh it must be nice to have small boobs or no boobs at all.” When I was younger I always heard how skinny I was and I’ve always wanted to have big boobs (I’m a AA). So when I was around 18 I just started eating so much to gain weight to have bigger boobs and not look so skinny and now I totally regret this, even tho I only weigh 90 lbs. I still hear all the time how tiny but I’m trying to work on loving my body. Stay strong and keep pushing through!
-Joniamac
It’s a shame that society and people around us have that kind of power on us. If you’re curvy then you’re fat for them, if you’re skinny then you’re a bag of bones for them; they aren’t ever happy because they don’t care about you, they care about ways to pull you down. I’m so glad that now you’re on the path of self-love and have taken steps to love the body you are in. I used to get affected a lot by what others are saying about me or to me; I was skinny until a few years back but then I was detected with PCOS and since then the weight game has been on an uphill ride. I was used to being called skinny but then suddenly I was called fat and that was too quick a change for me to digest. Over the time I have become comfortable and at truce with who I am physically and now it doesn’t affect who I am emotionally.
Sorry for the long rant. 🙈