Let’s face it, since the dawn of time where the caveman grunted out his affection for the cavewoman, us women have been inundated with catcalls, cheesy pick up lines and offhand comments that have made us question said catcaller’s sanity. I can’t be the only one who cringes every time someone tries to act ‘all suave’ and comes out with a chat up line that is cheesier than the good ol’ Stilton I am currently scoffing. It makes my toes curl and my heart shrivel, in short I am not a massive fan of chat up lines. I might be what you call a ‘realist pessimist’ but for others they adore chat up lines and no matter how cheesy they are, their hearts burst with joy. Regardless, we are all different but as someone who finds it hard to take a compliment (what is his motive?) it is little wonder that I find chat up lines cheesetastic.
Unsurprisingly, the worst chat up lines I have ever received have been online, with POF and OK Cupid being the worst offenders; from guys telling me that they have a thing for ‘Latin Women, so they can have their own mixed raced baby (ok I’m not Latin or mixed race, as you can quite clearly tell by my bio I am British but sure dream out your fantasies because they wont be coming true anytime soon!) to men who ask me on my thoughts on becoming a sugar daddy slave ( I mean I like older men but A. your old enough to be my Granddad, B. I don’t like the idea of being brought and C. the notion of a ‘slave’ is offensive and archaic, go back to the dark ages where you belong. FYI I am not going to be calling you daddy anytime soon!
Sure sugar daddies and politically incorrect guys who have some sort of ethnic complex seem to throw inappropriate chat up lines my way but they are by no means the worst, in fact over the course of three months I have been screenshotting the worst chat up lines I have received online for my readers amusement. Sadly for you I wont be revealing the identity of said weirdos, after all lets give them some time to seek help for their sins against dating. After all maybe one day they will be able to re-enter the dating game as a more refined, changed man?
Let the dating games commence.
- The Guy Who Judges You Based On The Colour Of Your Skin
To be honest, many of the chat up lines are often based on the colour of my skin as 75% of guys always think that I am ‘foreign’ and therefore ‘exotic’ as they like to put it. Fella’s I’m about as exotic as a roast dinner, but don’t let that stop you from racial profiling, oh no keep going with your offensive commentary. I have had guys send me messages online saying ‘what country are you from, you don’t look British’ to guys tell me ‘ that they think I look spicy, because of that Latina blood in me’. Ladies and gentleman, let me tell you a very important story about Latina’s; they are women and girls of Latin American origin or descent not women who have European heritage, it is not insulting to me but to them that you marginalize everyone under the same umbrella. FYI don’t use terminology you don’t understand, its not cute.
For me I am proud of my Portuguese heritage but at the same time I don’t feel the need to tell a random stranger in the bar why ‘I don’t look British’ because in all honesty it is a little offensive to judge someone on the colour of their skin, especially if you are trying to ‘chat them up’. I have had guys come up to me in bars and be like ‘where are you from’ to which when I would reply ‘London’ they would quite adamantly tell me that I am not ‘British’ as I don’t look British. I’m not about to get into racial politics right now but haven’t we moved past the dark ages, where multi-multiculturalism wasn’t integrated into our societal infrastructure? Look around you, there is more than one type of ‘British’ woman and just because I don’t look like a ‘Typical English Rose’ as you so bluntly put it, does not mean that you have the right to question my national identity.
2. The Guy With All The Fetishes
Like Rodger from American Dad said ‘ we’ve all got a kink’ meaning that there is some part of us which is naturally drawn to S& M and that’s ok, its perfectly normal. What’s not ok though is imposing your beliefs on others and calling someone ‘frigid’ if they don’t like the same things as you do. Its why its called ‘opposites attract’ dummies because we all have our own opinions on what we find attractive or what turns us on. I had a guy tell me ‘he would love to take me to Torture Garden ( A Fetish Club in London) and see ‘how pain I could withstand’ because the ‘more endurance I had’ the more he would get turned on. Let me tell you something, I feel pain very easily and my idea of fun does not involve being tortured for someone else’s gain. Sure a bit of bondage play is no harm but if you are quite literally paying to watch me cry ( and trust me that is not a pretty sight) then there is clearly something wrong with you.
I am what I like to call open minded but I have my limits and there are some no-go zones when it comes to ‘dating’ and extreme torture is one of them. I’d rather have a guy take pictures of my feet than go to Torture Garden LOL. On second thoughts I have had interesting messages from people who have ‘foot fetishes’ who wanted to pay me to get my feet photographed. I said no, feet creep me out and watching someone else dribble over my own feet is definitely not a turn on.
3. The Guy Who Attacks Your Profession To Make Himself Look Better
I had a guy message me on POF ‘Hey so what lies are you writing about or is that not you’ and when I ignored his message he said ‘BBZ ( I think he meant babes?) stunning but what you wear them boots not you I think’ (direct quote FYI so excuse the bad phrasing) . I was curious to understand what the f**k he was on about so I messaged him saying ‘I am not sure what you mean’ to which he turned around and told me ‘ I say lies because you’re a journalist and journalists are not decent people because they lie, you lie, not you I think’. I presume what he means by ‘not you I think’ is that because I am a journalist it automatically makes me a liar, thus I must be a catfish to be on POF.
You want honesty? I’m about to serve it to you flaming hot, so get ready for the burn. If you want to go down the stereotype route then I can do exactly the same with you; it says on your profile that you are banker, so does that mean that you swindle thousands of pounds out of unsuspecting people’s pockets so you can line your own? And before you cry out that is a ‘stereotype’ yes I know, doesn’t it hurt when you get judged on your occupation? Not so dishonest now am I? But I digress, with online dating some peoples version of a ‘chat up line’ reverts to playground tactics. You know the one ‘Oh I hate her, she’s ugly’ when secretly they actually want to bone you’ its lame and its immature. Besides there is a difference between ‘teasing’ and being outright rude. You my friend need to go back to dating school ‘because calling someone a liar, based on their occupation’ as an opening line, is not a winner in my eyes.
4. The Mildly Inappropriate Sex Pest/ The Guy Who Was Looking For His Personal Sex Doll
I’m all for dirty talk, who isn’t but some guys need some schooling in their ‘chat up line techniques’ because some of your messages are downright creepy. I have had guys tell me that because ‘i’m petite they would like to destroy me’ to a guy tell me ‘that he’d like to stretch me like a KFC bucket’ which admittedly cracked me up. I don’t know what he was thinking but a girl will not get turned on if she is compared to a KFC bucket so matter how ‘finger licking good’ it is. Besides he was obviously A. referring to the size of his penis and insinuating it was ‘big’ and B. hungry for chicken, that is honestly the only explanation I could think of to bring KFC into the conversation. Plus that sounds bloody painful, I know I am a vegetarian but have you seen the size of those KFC buckets? They are freaking huge!!!
And he’s not the only one. I remember feeling excited that I had an impending message in my inbox waiting from someone who was most definitely’my type on paper’ but all of that fizzled out as soon as I saw his response to my question. I had commented on how I loved how he described himself as a deep thinker and was passionate about living life to the full and when I asked him what brought him to POF he stated that he was looking ‘for his own highly sexed girlfriend’. To keep the charade going I said ‘… and hopefully someone with a personality…’ to which he replied he was more interested in ‘how good they were in the bedroom’. Bloody unbelievable, no wonder he’s still single if he ‘says he’s looking for love’ but isn’t really interested in getting to know them and really just wants a f**k. Let me tell you something, there are so many websites were you can buy sex dolls from, just don’t message unsuspecting women pretending you want a relationship when in reality you are just ready to bone!
5. The Sugar Daddy Who Wants A Young ‘Lass’
I know I like older men but your old enough to be my granddad! I was coming home from a Christmas In July press event and had evidently forgotten to take off my lanyard which had my full name and blog address on the front. Unbeknownst to me, the old fella had taken down my details and quickly pinged me an email. He stated ‘that he liked my style’ and that he ‘thinks I had a brain’ ( I mean I got a first in my degree so I’d like to think I’m pretty smart) so he’d love to take me out ‘unless I was Hitler or an axe murderer’. Safe to say this guy was pretty intense and told me ‘he had sent me a request on Linked In’. When I logged in to see how my admirer was, I quickly clocked that he was undoubtedly in his 50’s or 60’s and I couldn’t help but laugh.
For your information, I like guys that are in the 25 – 35 age bracket not old enough to be my granddad. I mean I am flattered that you reached out to me but NO. And he is not the first self proclaimed sugar daddy to swing chat up lines my way, I had one guy approach me in the bar telling me that he ‘liked how submissive I looked’ and he would love to treat me like a princess’. I get how some people might think that is sweet, after all who doesn’t like being spoiled rotten but for me I feel uncomfortable when someone offers to buy me a drink never mind meals with someone who I don’t like. And FYI, this whole idea of ‘submissiveness’ is another idea that buys into racial profiling or fetishism; the idea that ‘rich older men’ are attracted to ‘young women who are from or appear to be from an ethnic minority bracket’ so they can be seen as a ‘dominant male in the so called submissive woman’s eyes . It’s called a stereotype for a reason, its a mythological assumption that a certain group of women will be more docile and more likely to want a ‘sugar daddy’ than another ‘racial bracket’.
Read More Dating Disasters Below…
Dating Disasters With Faded Spring: My Worst First Date
Dating Disasters With Yvonne: I Babysat His Kid
Dating Disasters With Hal: I Was Stood Up!
To be part of my ‘Dating Disaster Series’ drop me an email on analuisadejesus1993@hotmail.co.uk
What Are The Worst Chatup Lines You Have Ever Received?
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2,3, and 4 for real! I mean I think a lot of us have been encountered a lot of these before, either on social media or dating sites and it sucks. It’s sometimes too obnoxious to deal with. I normally block them.
Absolutely liked the what you have written here. Respect for women is something that doesn’t come naturally to men. For example in my country India, Men are taught lessons on how to be a chauvinist by their folks. I am a male and I am glad that my parents taught me respect women and treat them as equal. But for most of the Indian population the idea of a strong independent woman is nauseating. Equality only on papers. It is a sad state of affairs.
4 is somewhat common for guys out there. There are some guys that refer themselves as perfect when it comes to “sexuality”. I am not as well comfortable with that type of guy.
I am so glad I found my husband sooner rather than later and didn’t have to play the dating game long at all! From what I remember, it wasn’t fun! Pick up lines are the worst, and most people do not know how to hold a conversation these days!
I’m sitting on the living room sofa as I type, and looking over at my husband reading his book .. I blow him a kiss and tell him how glad I am to have him in my life. Having to deal with these kinds of things would make me feel slimed. When I was single for a time in my late 30s I signed up for an online dating site and had to cancel after a couple of days. It was too much. Instead, I started asking friends I knew and trusted to set me up. In the end, I met my husband at our downtown soup kitchen. When knew?
I don’t do dating on social media but reading your post is such interesting things to know . After reading it I don’t know where to start to comment .
Its great acticle to read
I was cringing while reading this post. At some point, we probably have dealt with some of these, if not all. Number 5 is definitely hilarious. Good luck to us finding our 25-35 guy. 😉
Every single one of these is on point. It’s things like these that make me hate going out to bars. In Dubai we get a lot of sleezy men but I think THE absolute worst is the the wide boy lads who’ve come over from the UK and they’ve gotten a job as a “financial advisors” with one of the snake financial companies. They just have to tell you how much they make and act like they are god’s gift and know everything there is to know even though they’ve only been in the country for 3 months. Oh and then they get all rude and arsey when you turn them down and feel that it’s okay to call you a bitch.
Cheesetastic, that’s an amazing word. I enjoyed reading your article on dating disasters, I believe it’s something that a lot of people can relate to. Before I met, and married my husband some of the messages I received on dating sites such as POF really shocked me. I seriously wondered how they ever got a response from anyone. I’ve never have had a request for someone to be my Sugar Daddy though.
Oh number 3 and 4 are the worst! And the thing is, you would notice these types the minute they open their mouths to speak. Yikes. I hope young women who are still in the dating game get to read this and be warned.
Whatever our preference is, I think men should be gentleman and respectful enough to know their limits.
I count myself lucky that I’ve never had to deal with dating apps and dodgy chat up lines. The first one must be the most annoying, just being judged because of how you look is how I judge which piece of steak I want in the supermarket. Not complimentary at all!
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Some guys are really dumb. LOL. I mean, how can they seriously think they are going to find a half way decent woman with the way they talk to them?
Yikes! As a man reading this I cringe at 100% of it, shocking to know there are people like this out there!
I think the worst date I had was a guy who made no effort to dress up at all and had bitten finger nails. I am counting my blessings!
Wow this really does show men really think, luckily not all men are like this. I have had a few idiots in my time and here all various tales from my friends daughter. They really are not going to get anyone with chat up lines like these
The worst I’ve ever heard was actually from a (then) good friend of mine when we were at the club. He approached a young lady who was enjoying the music, interrupted her and said “is your last night Gilette, because you look like the best a man can get”.
She laughed. We laughed. He went bright red.
Uggg I hate men. I married one, but I can’t pretend my friends and I don’t have a plan to move into a mansion with a million dogs after all our husbands kick the bucket. Lol. I have a son now, and it worries me that even if I raise him to respect women he’s still going to turn into one of these pigs as soon as he gets behind a computer screen. Good luck to you, hopefully you meet someone who’s idea of a line is, “Hi, how are you?”
It’s such a shame dating can’t just be a magical experience about falling in love!
I just don’t know what goes through some peoples heads when it comes to dating, do they really think it will make someone go WOW yes I need to know more about this person!
I totally agree! I used to work in a hotel as a front desk clerk and i saw all kinds. Its like some on really!!
All of these make me cringe every time I hear them! I don’t understand why men think that saying these things would make them more attractive! I usually run from these types of men.
I can relate to so many of these as I’ve had a fair few dating disasters over the years x
My best friend is on POF and I can’t believe the stories she tells me about the men who contact her from that site. This is why I don’t do online dating. I just got out of a roller coaster relationship though so dating at all isn’t on my agenda. And oh the comments I get about being short with a big butt! It’s insulting and makes me cringe with the way some men talk to me. What’s worse is that they think it’s their right somehow. There is just zero respect. I demand respect so I have no problem turning into a bitch when some douche bag tries to talk to me. You are so on point with all of these.
I remember all my dating disasters. I felt like I could write a book. All that lead me to my husband for which I am grateful. I met him online just when I was about to give up.
I’ve had a reasonable amount of the same type of online chat up times and it’s sad that there’s people out there who think it’s okay to talk to women like that x
I don’t go on dates because I can never find anybody on OKC/Tinder that impresses me. I’ve had so many cheesy one liners and some really terrible men messaging me.
Men can be ridiculous as you have pointed out in so many ways. When it comes down to it there is a proper way to meet a woman and men should know this and stop the nonsense and pickup lines.
I’m a guy but I also hate seeing a woman or a lady being catcalled in front of me, in the street or anywhere. It’s not like when men do it women will stop and talk just like that. No, I think good men approach women the right way. And no man is better than a women when it comes to profession. It’s all equal at least for me.
I am so glad to be out of the dating pool. I hated it so much! Especially when I was a bartender and so many guys would try to pick me up, it was terrible.
Oh this is so on point. I haven’t met many of these while dating as a nomad but when I lived back in America I definitely met ALL of these. Some of my dates with men like these were alight but most of them DISASTERS.
These aren’t chat up lines, they’re just cheap digs at women that somehow make men feel better about themselves. The racial thing is ridiculous, if you’re trying to get to know someone, you want them to be attracted to you and like you, so don’t start of by insulting them. Or then trying to physically hurt them. And then insult their profession. Sometimes, men are just clueless. Luckily, I am open minded enough to know that no all men are like this, and that this is a tiny majority of the single men who are happy, self assured, normal, kind and understanding men who want to get to know someone properly!
Disastrous, indeed! What is wrong with people these days? Do we need a subject in school that’s all about respect and manners? I hope these people never find women who they’ll just toy around with.
The dating world is a tough world to be in I think…the stories I hear about sites such as POF and OKCupid make me shudder! There’s definitely plenty of sifting out to be done to find a decent man…they do exist!
Dating is always so dramatic and annoying! I lost my patience so many times. Luckily for me, we didn’t have to date very long before we knew we wanted to get married. But trust me, I kissed many frogs before I met my prince!
OMG at the sugar daddy to got your name off the name tag, what a creep! These dating website sound crazy, so glad I never dealt with those. The guys on them sound like real winners – not! You are a beautiful woman one day when you aren’t looking the right man will come along!
You are absolutely right with everything. Although the most annoying would be to meet someone who mocks your job to look better. Such a lack of self-confidence and such a toxic person.
I think this blog is about my life. The worse is one judging by the color. I’ve learned patience and the right person will come into your life
Ugh, why do men have to be such idiots? And disgusting idiots at that? Not all of them are, of course, but I know a good number of them think it’s cool to behave like baboons. I personally could not date an old man. I wouldn’t want to go beyond 20 years of my age.
Wow…that was an entertaining ready! A lot of those chat-up lines raise alarm bells in my head. I’d run a mile if i heard any of those! I’m sorry you had the misfortune of hearing them however it’s nice that you have a sense of humour too…keeps you sane! Plus it gave you some nice content for your blog!
I’ve been out of the dating loop for a while but this brings back a whole lot of somewhat painful memories!
None of these sound good at all. I certainly don’t miss the dating scene.
I’m relieved I am way past the dating sage. I do worry for my children, society as a whole is going mad and morals and respect for others seem to have gone out of the window.
Gosh some of these are cringy there really are some men out there that need to treat women better
Luckily I have not had to encounter many of these chat up lines but they all sound awful and disrespectful. I am so glad all men don’t use these chat up lines.
Some of this made me laugh a little. I think it’s good to have a sense of humor when dealing with pick up lines. I have a 23 year old son and I always told him to remember ever girl he meets or dates is someone’s future wife so in turn some guy is out there with his. I think that helped him show more respect. I think it so great that you are proud of you heritage, you should be. My son is part Italian and Nicaraguan and I am so proud of every thing about him. I love what you write. You are such a strong, independent young woman, so commendable! My daughter is still young but she shows a lot of strength like yours, I will certainly foster it.
number #2 and #5 are the absolute worst in my opinion. personally, i’ve never had a girlfriend or been in a relationship because of my looks, but i understand your point of view. sugar daddies wanting younger females is troubling to me and awesome to others.
Dating is so hard, just when you think you’ve possibly found someone remotely normal they pull out the card that totally turns you off.
I am so happy I do not have to date anymore. There are some pretty crazy lines out there. The “Heaven must be missing an Angel” always made me laugh.
Oh my how much I missed on in life! Not quite sure what to say as I can’t really relate to any of them, (have never been dating online) but looks like finding a decent guy out there is not easy! Xx
I’m glad I’m married to a very decent man and didn’t meet such stupid men! Of course, not all men are like so but majority act as if they are from a Royal family. I liked reading your post, it made me mad (because of the type of men out there) and I was entertained by your style of writing.
Wow. Just wow. Some of those lines are really terrible. Men like that should not be allowed to procreate. Or exist with other people.
Love your outfit here! Totally unrelated but seriously girl – you look amazing! Honestly chat up lines are the worst!! Just be yourself and be kind and it will get you a lot further! A pick up line usually just gets you turned down in a second
I have had to kiss a lot of frogs before I found my prince! Trust me, I’ve had my fair share of dating disasters!
Dating these days seems so much harder than it was before the birth of internet dating sites. We’d get introduced to others by mutual friends, or meet someone in school or in the workplace. Now it seems the door is wide open for complete weirdos to enter your online space and give you the shivers. But keep your chin up. I have every confidence that day soon you will meet your perfect match – but it probably won’t be through one of these sites.
Another post that makes me glad I’m out of the dating game. 😉 Although, I used to like when guys pulled that kind of crap right from the get-go because none of my time was wasted on them—it was just so clearly a “no”, and I was always okay with that. It’s the guys who are LIKE those guys but know how to hide it more strategically that we’re always my least favorites. Just wastes of dating time. :/
Stretch you like a KFC bucket? That’s a new one. Sometimes its hard to believe guys actually try this crap. Sad thing is, I’m sure it works on someone eventually.
I’ll admit it, I’m glad I don’t have to date anymore (been with my husband for 15 years. Some of your dating disasters sounded so familiar to experiences I had years ago (back then we dated online, but there were no apps). Keep going, hopefully, there will be a decent guy out there.
Thank goodness I don’t have to worry about dating anymore, it’s such hard work!
Those shoes! 😍😍😍. I’m obsessed!
Oh my, I didn’t think some men were still like this nowadays 🙁 I thought they would have changed by now!! I am so lucky to have a good man and we have been together over 25 years. I hope you find a good one too Ana.
Love your outfit, Ada, roses are my favourites 🙂
Sorry pressed wrong button * Ana* I am trying to grow my nails but I can’t type with these, ha!! I may need to cut them.
I find it amazing that people would pay for pictures of feet. Just google them! Haha
If only I had a penny for every single time I was approached by so called sugar daddies. It is insane. What annoys me the most about them is the sense of entitlement. I got insulted so many times when straight out rejecting them. Anything ranging from “You’re not that pretty anyway”, to “Who the f*** do you think you are you w***.” What happened to human decency? That being said, my current boyfriend did chat me up at the grocery store, in the most straight forward and cutest way. He literally said “I don’t really have anything smart to say other than … I find you really beautiful. Do you want to have a coffee sometime?”
I am into online dating too because it convenient and more entertaining. And also had encountered tons of different chat up lines, much worst than you’ve started but I learned how to play them.
Reading their messages makes me want to eat popcorn and drink wine.
I would love to hear your stories! It would make an entertaining read! x
Oh my goodness you have come across so many ignorant and rude men 😥 I’m sure if there Mums could ever hear how they talk they would be ashamed
Uggghh it sounds like you have had some right ones!!! Must admit I’m glad I don’t have to go through this – I met my husband before online dating took off so luckily haven’t had to put up with a lot of this! x
Sometimes I feel a little sad when my friends are off out on exciting dates and I’m home with the husband and baby. Then I hear horror stories like this and they make my skin crawl! I’m so glad I never dipped a toe in the world of online dating and I found a nice guy in my husband.
I have to say I’m glad I found my husband pretty fast, so I wasn’t in the dating game for a long period of time. And even when I was I was a bitch :)) Nice article, it’s good for a bit of laugh.
Some of those lines though smh. I am honestly a little horrified at the way dating goes down these days, and I have no idea what it is going to look like when my oldest gets to that point (which is a ways off since she is only 9).
Oh man! I remember all too well how awful some of the remarks I got on Plenty of Fish were back when I was single. It’s insane to me that men can be so offbase!
Your bad date stories are the best! And I realize that isn’t a compliment to the person actually living through these experiences. I’m glad you’re finding out exactly what you don’t want before finding the right person.
Stretch you up like a KFC bucket?! GOSH! And I thought I have the worst pick up lines hahaha! I never really experienced any girl coming up with the pick up lines but however mine were definitely NOT THAT BAD as some you mentioned. Like I thought about them, but I never said them lol.
So going back to the topic, I didn’t have such bad pick up lines but I never really rely on using them or anything… I just chat and chat normally haha!
I love your outfit!! Super cute and love the sheer top. You rocked this.
I can not stand the guys who put you down in order to chat you up…these jokers have been reading too much of The Game!
Oh, my goodness. I am so glad I don’t have any sort of dating disasters. I couldn’t even imagine. Great for a laugh though that’s for sure!
Yikes, you’ve met some really horrible guys over the years! I hope all men in the UK are not like that. Your stories seem quite repulsive, they make me glad I’m settled down already myself. Good luck with finding a diamond in the rough.
Being a guy, I generally don’t have to be the one hearing the chatup lines from others. That means I have to be the one who is talking to the women. What I find strange is how women I have met online have told me how I intrigued them because I talked normally to them and didn’t mention sex within the first line. I found that scary that so many guys thought that was appropriate. It’s one thing to say someone is beautiful but a different thing to be vulgar. The only thing that I had was dates where women have overshared or said something that scared me off early on.
i am sure this post doesn’t even cover 10% of the scenarios you have experienced ana! i had to laugh at some of them because it doesn’t surprise me – its wild out there but at least you have some interesting stories to tell aye 🙂
This post was so relatable. Where are the good men? At least yo still look fabulous like always! I love your style so much!
holy cow! I can’t believe what stories you have on these horrible chat-up lines. These men really need a crash course on ‘conversation starting’ – let alone chivalry! I’ve had personal experience with men commenting on why I don’t look fully Latina, or fully Caucasian (I’m biracial), and I find that so crass.
I Just thank my lucky stars that I am married because the thought of being single in today’s society has me cringing!!! I love your shoes.
Oh no, thanks for sharing! Some of my single friends go through similar things within the dating game. One even reached out and asked whether she would be interested in his athletic tongue and…… **** (the rest I really can’t repeat in this medium here).. I mean wtf do these idiots think?!
Online dating has its pros and cons. I would recommend it but with caution. Too many crazies about. The stories here and in the comments section made me LOL! Wow!
I never knew you was Portguese, that’s brilliant 🙂 I have had some awful chat up lines given to me in the years, but the cheesy ones are always the somewhat worst !
I’m so glad I didn’t get some of these weirdos when I was on match! I had one person with a fetish which I had no interest in! Their opening line to me was “Do you have a ticklish tummy and ticklish feet?’ I’ve definately had the guy who has been rude about my profession. I’m a nanny and apparently it’s not a real job and it’s not a career!
Some of these stories actually make me feel sick, there are so write idiots out there!xxx
I seem to attract so many 2s and 4s online, 2s especially! There are so many ignorant, rude and downright creepy men trawling the online dating scene. It puts me off and I don’t bother with the sites any more which is a shame as I’m sure there are some genuine guys out there somewhere.
This makes me so grateful I found Chris quickly and didn’t have to waste time on idiots! I shudder to think about my own kids dating in 10 years… 🙁
I do not miss being single! I remember being in a club a few years ago and some guy took the ice out of my drink, smashed it on the floor and said “well that broke the ice”. I wasn’t impressed and neither was the girl who got cranberry juice from the ice all over her shoes.
I must say Ana that some of this made me laugh and I have to also say that you are more than capable of handling yourself in these dating games and situations. I’m not really sure what POF means but I’m presuming its an UK dating website. We have Plenty of Fish here and its pretty much the same….not a pretty place to be trying to land a catch in……….x
My OH used the most rubbish and crude chat up line on me but it made me crack up! We get married next month 🙂
This post made me laugh and made me angry at the same time. It is a shame that some men are so petty but they still think that they can make a woman to desire them without even making an effort. I tried to think about some funny chat up lines but I have been out of the game for so long so nothing comes to my mind right now.
I love all your embroidery! Those shoes are so amazing!
Urgh I’m cringing reading this. Men can be such idiots. I have defo encountered the guy that puts your career down to make himself look better
Ha ha ha omg the things some guys do and say to get laid! The worst line someone (very drunk) told me once while I was a waitress was that I look more beautiful than a “common woman”.
Sounds like you have had a bit of a nightmare with dating. Still, lets hope your prince will find you soon
Such reality bites into dating game, some makes me remember some memories that my f. Although I still believe there are good ones with good intentions but probably the percentage is a lot smaller. I would still go for a hopeless romantic type that to an aggressive one.
Omg some of the things these guy say! LOL. I loved your response of ‘Fella’s I’m about as exotic as a roast dinner’ that made me laugh my head of
This post is hilarious! As a hetro bloke myself, it’s funny hearing what my “brothers” have to say when attempting courtship. Maybe a large part of the problem is that you are obviously much brighter than they!
At the end of the day, if you treat each other with humanity and compassion, it’s a good start!
I really do not miss the dating game at all! I encountered all of these in my time, and men say women are mental! Christ.
On another note, reading this has given me a right craving for KFC.
I love this article and sadly it is true that there are so many guys out there that fit these descriptions. ‘he’d like to stretch me like a KFC bucket’ – what was he thinking! 🙂 x
I have to say Ana this was a joy to read, quite comical in some parts! However, just atrocious that you’ve had to suffer through some of these haha dating 101 or how to talk to women definitely needs to be top of their agenda!
Everytime I read one of your dating posts I can’t help but read them with a dropped jaw. It’s unbelievable to read that this actually happens!! I am so glad that I’m not in the dating game, I don’t think I could play the game. xx
these are the type of guys i always avoid. they scare me at the same time!
Hilarious, thanks for sharing your experiences with us and giving us a good laugh. I don’t think chat up lines can ever be smooth!
Wow. This makes me really glad I met my husband my first day of college. He didn’t hit on me because we just started as friends first. I hope he wouldn’t have tried anything you have listed here, lol
1,2,3 and so many! We all those date disasters haha. What about that guy who did not tell you he is married and once you discover it claims its not his fault its all because of women attitude?
Did you get my mail? ;)XO
Oh gosh! I’m so happy that I’m out of the dating world. I had met some of the worst offenders via POF as well, but oddly enough, I met my husband from there. So, I guess I can’t complain too much! 🙂
Oh my gosh I hate three! I think if you are not in a profession then it’s really difficult for people to understand it…like blogging.
Dropping by again here as I have to share this to my friend. We have some discussion about mens and we came u to the topic just like this. I told her about this article and she wants to read it as well. She admires your writing skills too!
Love this! Can relate to so much of it, sadly! Think the worst chat up line I’ve ever endured was as follows:
Bloke: “Errr, excuse me, do I know you?”
Me: “No, I don’t think so.”
Bloke: “Are you sure, cos I really recognise you, I’m sure I’ve seen you before…”
Me: “Pretty sure you haven’t..”
Bloke: “You work in Subway don’t you?”
Me: “No, what? Why?”
Bloke: “Oh, it’s just every time I see you I get a foot-long.”
GROAN.
And people wonder why I’m single! x
Wow! These men sound like they need to go back to the datinng handbook and start again. I’m sure a lot of women can relate to these scenarios.
I’m so glad I’m not dating. Chat up lines were bad enough when I was younger. They sound even worse now!
Louise x
Oh man, your dating disasters are definitely making me glad I am out of that pool! I went through many of these onthe search for my mister right too though…keep truckin girl, you’ll find him!
Oh god! I’m so happy that I’m out of the dating world >////<
This post made me laugh and made me angry at the same time lol
People are still on the colour of a person’s skin? Grrrr. That is super lame. But the exotic comment is hilarous. I am pretty sure you are more exotic than a roast dinner… Just saying. LOL Or the fetishes? Like, that’s cool and all, but get to know me first….
Oh my gosh your posts are some of the best on the internet! The way you wrote is wonderfully funny and engaging. I have to say I’ve never had any pick up lines used on me, I’m not sure whether to feel relieved or offended by this fact lol. I’ve heard some absolutely crazy ones though. The comment about skin colour though, dear God really! In this day and age!! My husband is Chinese and I got told once “what pretty colours my babies would be!”
Dating can be so hard, especial yin the beginning when people don’t know each other yet and can be prone to say inappropriate things. It sucks that men racially profile girls or put them down to make them feel better (I’ve been on the receiving end of that one). Just hope you find a guy that respects you, I’m sure you will
Laura x
Sometimes you have to sift through to find a good one, keep at it and I am sure you will find someone who respects and accepts you for who you are!
Omg some of these had me literally lol’ing! Some guys really do need to get a clue on how to talk to a girl! Especially for the very first time
OMG you have named all the worst possible dating disasters! Judging on one’s skin color & their job has to be the worst ones!
xx
http://www.realgirltalks.com
I’m glad that I’m single 🙆🙆
I don’t think that I could ever handle this type of shit
It is hard to believe that there are so many jerks available in the massive pool of the Dating World! I hate people who judge others based on the color of their skin. I wish Ana that you find someone special very soon!
OMG! These are nuts! I remember the craziest story I have is one time, this guy wanted to be my sugar daddy.. It was funny at first because I’m not into men but he was too persistent. It was almost scary. Haha
Oh my god! You had the sugar daddy line as well poor you! I hope you told him to do one! If you ever wanted to share your story with us I would be happy to know more. Some guys really don’t get the hint, so many of my gay and Lesbian friends get it as well. You wouldn’t believe how some men ask them to ‘prove it’ so ridiculous!
One time I dated someone for almost a year to find out that not only were they married, they had a child, and I was a mistress..LOL!
It wasn’t funny then but then Iook back and thought, “made sense why they wanted weird things”.
One time I dated someone for almost a year to find out that not only were they married, they had a child, and I was a mistress..LOL!
It wasn’t funny then but then Iook back and thought, “made sense why they wanted weird things”. Super weird!
OH MY GOD FOR REAL? That is crazy I can’t believe someone made you their mistress and they had a kid and were married! That is crazy, hopefully you have better luck now? Would love to hear your story if you wanted to share 🙂
Like a KFC bucket? WTF? 😂 Oh my days what is wrong with these people?
Sounds like you had a lucky escape lovely 🙂 x
There is always the one that want to take advantage of everything and make themselves look better than everyone else!
I briefly tried on line dating before I met my husband and was just hounded by sex pests sending graphic photos or quizzing me on my sexual preferences!! How do men think these are acceptable chat up lines!
OMG! It’s awful how some people act/ I’ve had my own fair share of these. I think it’s a problem that people think they can get away with so much online.
http://ohduckydarling.com
I have had my share of weird chat up lines. 😀 No. 1, 3 and 4 are the worst I think, I’m no more in the dating world but I’m pretty sure this post is going to be really helpful for people who are looking for someone special.
The way you write is unbelievable. I am in love with your blog. I felt almost as if I was reading a great part of a book. I can definately relate to this type of craziness. They definately need to go to some dating re education facility.