As someone who has had more than her share of ‘fake friends’ knowing who is ‘playing you’ and who is in it for the ‘long haul’ is something I have become an expert in. In fact I might as well change my CV to ‘ Fake Friend Finder’ because I sure as hell have been ‘fishing for the wrong type of friends for far too long now. From friends who use you to make themselves feel more ‘popular’ to those who use you as their accessory at events, like fuckboys these ‘f**k friends’ are only after one thing (and no its not sex). Question is what is it that these fake friends are seeking and what on earth are we-perfectly educated intellectuals- doing falling for this bulls**t? Well no more- enter advice guru Jasmine, otherwise known as my alter ego. Jasmine is the name I use when pervs try and get into my knickers, the name I use when ordering food and the name I would call my first born child if it was a girl. But I digress, Jasmine is the confident, more sassier version of myself and she can be your ‘fake friend finder too’. Let Jasmine do all the hard work for you because thanks to Jasmine, I have learnt how to spot a fake friend and now you can too!
Jasmine says that finding a true friendship is like ‘falling in love’ and I think she is right. You meet, you hang out and then suddenly it is like you can’t leave each others side. Before you know it you have met each others friends, relatives and even their neighbours know who you are. But then something goes wrong and the honeymoon period is over, suddenly the rose tinted glasses come off and you see them for who they are. Their flaws are highlighted and any little thing seems to irritate you but all for good reason, you realize that this mother tucker was playing you all along and you pinch yourself. How could you be so foolish, so blind? Well easily, these fake friends breed in the most unexpected of places- online, in the supermarket or just walking across the road. Then suddenly they strike and you feel like the world has ended. This is how they want you to feel but listen up. Never let them make you feel like the smallest person in the world because you are worth so much more than those fake friends will ever know. Besides their loss, your freaking awesome and never forget it.
The Friend Who Constantly Puts You Down
It took me a long time to ‘spot this fake friend’; I had a friend called A who was perhaps the worst fake friend of all. Not only did she blackmail and threaten me but she also committed the worse crime of all and that was to constantly put me down. Rewind two years ago and I was vulnerable, severely depressed and anxious. While I had met her in second year of university, we became closer in third year when she dated my friend ‘D’ who incidentally I liked too. I never made my feelings known to anyone but I had a feeling that she guessed; the insults were subtle at first but as the game advanced our friendship was about to hit a sour patch. ‘D’s room was next to mine and whenever she knew I was in she would ‘moan and groan’ as loud as she could so that I could hear. I remember during one session she was bitching about me, saying how ‘ugly ‘ I was and how she was ‘better than me in every single way’ getting angry when he said nothing. But that was nothing, she accused me of sleeping with her boyfriend- but the irony was she never accused ‘D’ which is pretty weird considering in order to actually sleep with someone, ya know there actually has to be another person involved. Despite breaking up for a grand total of a ‘week’ they got back together and I quit being her friend because I was sick of how s**t she made me feel. She made me feel like a prisoner in my own home and just because we no longer were friends didn’t mean that her put me downs had stopped. Far from it, but as a firm believer in second chances three months later we were friends again. Again she kept using me to make her feel better about herself and did everything possible to make me question who I was.
Long story short, A and I hit breaking point. She ruined my graduation day and then started sending me abusive messages. I was sick at this point and my depression had got worse. Instead of supporting me she sent me message after message listing all the reasons why she was superior to me in every single way possible; not only was I ‘uglier’, less cultured and more stupid than she was, she also claimed that she had never accused me of sleeping with D and that ‘D’ would never go for ‘someone like me’ because I was ‘nothing special’. Oh and she was? Girl bye, ladies and gentleman if you have a friend who likes to constantly criticize you to make themselves feel better then congratulations, you have found yourself a fake friend.
The Gossip Queen
I admit it, we have all been partial to gossiping to others but hell if you are constantly gossiping about another person but not saying those things to that other persons face then I am sorry, you’re a fake friend. There is a difference between a rant and a gossip; ranting is what you do when you tell another friend about a conversation you have with ‘said friend to their face’ whereas gossiping is done behind that persons back. As much as I hate conflict, if I have an issue with someone then it is best to tell them rather than them hearing it through the grapevine and getting upset with you. There was a girl who I went to secondary school with who would bitch about everyone-including you- and then play dumb when she would get caught out. That is not cool, if you have beef then just tell someone straight. They might not like your upfront manner but truth be told would they rather some girl they sit on the bus next to tell them instead? No of course not.
The Friend Who Treats You Like Their Accessory
Oh lord where do I start? This friend treats you nicely, at least at first. But sooner or later you realize that this fake friend is only using you to boost their own presence. Whether that be online or in person, this fake friend has clearly never heard that friendships are based on the principle of ‘give and take’. Instead she/he just ‘takes’ and expects you to sit down and play ball. No sorry mate it ‘aint happenin’. I had a friend who would invite me as her plus one to events and expect me to take a back seat while she reaped all the rewards. Not to mention she was similar to A. and would make sly digs about my appearance and weight so that I would feel bad about myself. I thought she was great at first, after all she seemed to be helping me get opportunities but what I didn’t realize was how she was conditioning me to become her accessory. Not only did I have to be at her beck and call but the only time she would want to hang out with me was when she had noone else to turn to and she needed a plus one to attend an event with. Most of the time she would get weird with me and just ignore me while she spoke to people to make connections with who had ‘followers than me’. I was easily replaced and after feeling left out at the last event we went to and generally annoyed with her after her treatment of me before I decided enough was enough and left her ass hanging. This was ages ago now, when I first started blogging but the memory of how our friendship went sour still lingers with me. Listen, let me tell you something, if you have a friend who only wants to hang out with you because A.they have noone else to turn to and B.as their accessory to make themselves look better than you, then good luck next time, this fake friend is bad news.
The Friend Who Only Wants To Hang Out With You When There Is Noone Else Available
Much like the friend who treats you like their ‘accessory’ this fake friend is only after one thing and that is ‘validation’. These egomaniacs need someone to be by their side to feel validated and yet when you need someone they are nowhere to be seen. This friend will make excuses for why they can’t meet up with you and yet when everyone bails on them and you are the only woman standing, they make sure to hit you up. We have all had friends who have bailed on us more times than we can remember, hell we have probably been that ‘fake friend too’ but its not okay to only be friends with someone so you still look popular. This is why I keep my friendship group small, when I was at uni I always surrounded myself with a lot of friends but the majority of them were fake. In fact looking back, a friend called ‘S’ was meant to be a best friend but really was only using me at points when all her friends would desert her because she was being a bitch. Don’t become another persons plaything, you are worth more than that. You may think that they are your friend and sure as hell they are saying the right things but let me tell you, a girl or guy who suddenly messages you three months down the line without so much of a whisper of a hello is not someone who is interested in what you have to say. And if they start their text with ‘ I miss you, lets meet up’, you know its because their asses have been read to filth. Do yourself a favour and say no.
Of course there are far more types of fake friends including ‘the friend who treats you like a personal piggy bank’ and ‘the friend whose never there for you’ but learning how to spot a fake friend takes practice. We have all been a victim of a ‘fake friend’ at some point but the main lesson to be learnt is how to get out before its too late. In the past I would let friends treat me badly because I didn’t know what true friendship was. One I had found my ‘friends for life’ I realized how badly I and others had been treated by our fake friends and it was a harsh reality. If a friend is making you feel bad on a daily basis, talking shit about you or only hanging out with you to make themselves look good then you know what to do… RUN.
Have You Learnt How To Spot Fake Friends?
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I have had my fair share of fake friends… worse than that toxic friends. Honestly I find that life is complicated enough, why are ‘friends’ causing issues? That’s when you know you’re better off without them
Fake friends are the worst and I just don’t get people some times – like you said the ones that only hang out if there is no one else, or talk about you behind there back. – these people are just not worth the time of day
Laura x
I think we learn these things with age, a time will come when we have a inner circle of people we can trust and the hangers on and users drop off.
Wow What choice words I would like to use on te kind of friends you have had Ana, Yet I know I have had such friends too on some level or other. Suffice to say they didnt last inmy life. I had a friend like A who accused me of backstabbing her and had a spanish inquisition set up, invited me for drinks and they got going. I walked out on them after calling them some choice names too lol. Hurt people do hurt others, always remember that. And You are Enough.
Iam liking Jasmine 🙂
I’ve definitely been surrounded by all of these friends in the past. Most recently the one that would drop me like a sack of shit if a man came along or a more highly thought of friend! xxx
Brings back a lot of painful memories!
What a wonderful post, I’ve written something similar – it’s so important to remember how important good friendships are! Thank you for sharing.
This was a really enlightening post Ana (or should I say Jasmine, haha!) I had a “friend” that always used to put me down to make herself feel better, and after a while, I couldn’t take it so I told her to go f**k herself and have felt a lot more free ever since! x
Lots of love,
Marina Rosie x
https://marinawriteslife.blogspot.fr/
I think as you get older you just become wiser and choose friends more careully.
Was a fun read. After having a handful of such friends and realizing the importance of real one’s, this post has brought back so many memories.
When I was younger I had a one particular friend who seems like they were in it just for what they could get out of our friendship. I’m much better at spotting them now!
I have had fake friends in the past, and this is something that I have always spoken to my Daughter about as she has grown. You will only have a few real friends in your life. It can take time to realise who is a fake friend and who is a true friend, but once you do you are much more in control x
Sometimes I just don’t get people. Either be my friend or not, but don’t be fake about it. I don’t have time for that.
Well said! I am Loving the dress!
These are some great tips. I’ve had my fair share of fake friends in the past x
This is so brave and true unfortunately there a lot of these types of people around and we simply need them out of our lives!
Anna I love your posts , you always hit the nail on the head and of course your photos and styling are beautiful! This Jasmine sounds like a brilliant friend to have. I’ve had my fair share and then some of fake friends and now keep my circle very small.
Have you hard of the sound “Case of the Fake People” by TLC? I picture you playing it while writing this article! LOL https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4JtjjBoo8c
Excellent list! I would add to your list people who only hang out wit you to be with some other friends of yours. And the ones who hang out, borrow your stuff and never return. Face friends are super annoying. Luckily, I’ve been quite good to spot those and nowadays there isn’t many left in my life. 🙂
Aaaaah! How many of these have I seen in my my life? Too many. Funny thing is, I only spot a fake friend when the fake friend isn’t my friend lol. I like Jasmine alot! Xx
Ah yes – the age old problem of Fake Friends, i”m hoping that as I approach 30 my days of having to encounter them are well and truly over!
Great post this. It’s always easy to forget that friends can easily turn and be out for themselves.
I think we’ve all had a few of these friends. I’ve cut off my friends that are constantly negative, it just brings you down too. We all have little spare time now, so I think its important to spend what we have with those that are true friends.
These kinds of people are not friends. You can’t waste your time with them.
I have had way too many encounters with gossip queens. They are the WORST! I had one “friend” who only talked to me to try and get scoop on my other friends. UGH.
It’s certainly something I’ve got better at doing with age – though to be honest I’m very lucky and surrounded by a lot of genuine friends 🙂
What a fabulous post! Ive had my fair share and you know its time to cut the cord when you ring them AGAIN after a long time and they say ‘hello stranger’ – excuse me but phones work both ways!! GRrrrr!
I’ve been nodding all the way through your post. Every type of friend you mentioned .. check .. I’ve had them all. For the longest time I suffered from the Disease to Please and let everyone into my life. Once I turned 40 .. I grew a backbone and stopped. I thought my friends and family would embrace the new me .. instead I lost nearly all of my friends and some of my family. They had no idea what to do with the me who said no (kindly, of course with a smile and a hug) .. but no none the less. So I began to wonder if it was me all along .. and my inability to establish boundaries from the get-go. It either attracted people like you described or allowed bad behavior from others until it became the norm. Alas ..
In truth I think you are describing a toxic person in the characteristics of the fake friend. I recognise lots of the same attributes since I recently came to the conclusion one of my friends is in fact toxic. Yikes!
There’s nothing worse than a fake friend. I’ve had my share of them, but now that I’ve read your post, I definitely know what to look for. Thanks for the great tips.
Erica | Black Bloggers Network
I’ve had lots of fake friends. And then I’ve had a lot of friends who I thought were really good friends and then they just dropped off the face of the earth so I have no idea what happened to them or why we’re not friends I guess they were fake friends too.
You posted this in perfect timing… I’m so glad I read this! My little sister is having problems with her college roommate. She found the article helpful
Now that I have moved halfway across the country, I do not get to see my close friends. It is easy to weed out the fake friends from the group when I come home I don’t have to try to make plans with them.
I’ve had many a fake friend over the years, it’s quite sad really, but at least I know the best friends I have now are true friends 🙂
I love your outfit!
Dani x
I’ve had plenty of “Fake Friends” over the years, and as you know hun, a couple of these so-called friends disowned me recently when I really needed my friends. So I completely understand where you’re coming from! After recent events I think it’s going to take me a long time to learn to trust new people (especially men) again, but everything that’s happened lately has really made me realise who my true friends are xx
Ugh I am so sick of fake people. Thank you for this post that can help us all grow out intuition about who to trust and who to call out on their BS!
Ana – I could have wrote this myself! I have recently discovered that I had a whole group of fake friends!! It was a huge wake up call to me and initially I was devastated by it, now I just see it as a lucky escape!
Unfortunately, I too have had my fair share of fake friends, I think that’s something most women struggle with at some point in their lives. Great advice and I absolutely love your dress (and your ultra-ego)!
I definitely don’t have time or patience for any of these fake friends. Sometimes they can be hard to spot at first but people always show their true colours before too long.
I’ve unfortunately had these fake friends in my life at one point or another as well. I wish it were easier to spot them from the very beginning as it often doesn’t become apparent until after they have done damage x
Jasmine sounds very wise. Now, that is one friend I wouldn’t mind adding to my list! Ha!
I think that unfortunately we all have had “fake” friends. Its part of the process (ugly process) and figuring out friends. But – hopefully most of us learn to trust in real friends and ditch the fakes ones early on!
I keep my circle small. I have friends that are like sisters and then friends that are more like aquaintances. I trust very few people.
Ugh, I’ve had some fake friends before. I don’t get those people at all. I mean, why? As I get older, I have less patience for nonsense so I immediately get those people out of my life.
I’ve had the last resort friend and it’s a terrible feeling. You start to think there’s something wrong with you until the friendships over and you realize it was literally just them.
I’m so sorry you have had such an awful time with your friends. To be honest, I think university can be really tricky because it’s a new environment and at that age there can be a lot of insecurities flying around. I hope you have found a good group of friends now.
It really doesn’t matter if your friend is a new one or you’ve been with for a long time, it’s the memories you’ve been true to yourselves lasts.
I could not love this post more! x
I have very few friends and we treat each other like family.Fake friends are like viruses and I don’t even give them the slightest chance to get into my circle.I’m so sorry you had to go through all this. I’m glad you can now easily spot a fake friend.
I had to learn how to recognise fake friends as a child as I ended up with quite a few, I was like a magnet. Now I can spot them much faster and they rarely get much of my time. I can take quite along time to open up and relax with people because of it.
When it comes down to it we all have very few real friends and you know who they are. I have been burned many times by people who turned out to be fake and I learned that I have to be cautious with people. I hope you find your true friends.
True friendship can be hard to find. And I think any friendship has ebbs and flows. I feel so fortunate to have made some really solid friendships after having kids.
I only have a few friends these days because everyone else ends up being fake!
Your friends sound awful. Would you like to borrow mine? 🙂 I had a very fake friend many years ago when I was in college. She was always stirring the pot, but she was dating one of my guy friends so we were stuck with her. We called her the devil. A few years ago, when I was giving of her maid of honor toast as she married a different guy, I mentioned that particular nickname. We all had a good laugh. Wondering how that happened? Well, for one, most women grow up. For another, a lot of girls either think all girls are going to burn them so they act crazy, or they’re jealous so they act crazy. I absolutely advocate for dropping friends that bring you down, and I’ve never been in the situation where anyone was using me for anything (yea! benefit of not being popular, lol), but I do think if it’s just one girl who the rest of the crew thinks is fake, there’s probably a reason. Don’t be afraid to talk to them about it, and do forgive people who act stupid. You never know what kind of friend they could grow into.
This is a great post on how to spot a fake friend. It is a shame that we all know people that are fake friends but these are the ones we don’t need as friends. Through the years I have confronted my so called friends when I felt used by them. Communicating can make a big difference in finding out who is real and who isn’t. Thanks for sharing the information.
Great read! I especially dislike those friends that only want to hang out with you when they don’t have other plans. I’m like you and have somewhat found an alter ego within myself. I have learned to let go of people in my life because I found them to only use me. It was kind of like a breakup but in the end I am way better off.
Dude I hate fake friends. As a mom, I know i lost quite a few “friends” when I had my first kid. They were the ones who always wanted to party, and since I wasn’t about to go party anymore, it was like they wanted nothing to do with me. Like I get it, I have kids and they don’t but what would be so terrible about one day just hanging out and watching netflix, does it ALWAYS have to be at the bar? Thankfully I know who my real friends are now. Even the ones who don’t have kids who still come hang with me and my kids because you know, that’s what friends do!
I learned a long time ago to just put up walls and pick the information you share with people. It’s just going to hurt when you share your life with a person who you thought was your friend and then end up being betrayed. It’s easy to drop people who pull you down, what not easy to detect are those people who spread gossips and lies about you.
Fake friends, by this time at my age, it’s easier to spot who they are and when to avoid them. And that’s only because I’ve had so much experience with fake people that I got used to picking them off. Otherwise, if you’re the friendly type, chances are you’re going to fall for these fake friends.
How awful for you! I hate the type of friends who make you feel bad about yourself and put you down – they aren’t friends.
I told you that I knew the pictures would be beautiful. And they are, as you always are. Fake friends are just crazy things. I admit I had a fake friend for years as a kid. I remember having to switch schools because my parents wanted something better for my brother. Go figure. Anyway, I didn’t have a friend for two years because I was trying to hard. Finally I did make a friend. At first he treated me ok. But eventually he turned on me and treated me like I was dirt. He would make fun of me and act differently when he was in front of other people other than when we were together. Eventually we fell apart. But I was so desperate to have a friend when it would have been better to just stand out there on my own. Thanks for all of the great warnings here.
What a cute dress and insightful read. I think they’re great tips. I mean I’ve lived long enough to realize. But this is a good share still!
I can smell a fake friend from a million miles away. What i’ve realized though, is that real friends are harder to find as you grow older. Friendships tend to be on grounds of usefulness. So i basically stopped making new friends after some time. It is not really healthy but wasting your precious time when we are mere mortals with limited time seems a much more greater crime
It is easy to test a true and genuine friendship to fakery. Use money and you will see as clear as Evian who are fake friends 🙂
Often one person combines many of these traits, and once you’ve shaken them off you wonder why you didn’t do it years ago.
Reading this takes me back to my school days! I think we have all had at least one of these types of ‘friends’!
A lot of the time, when I was younger, I found it really hard to spot fake friends (in the beginning, at least). I think that says more about my trusting personality than anything else though. I agree, fake friends are the worst and they need to be weeded out, pronto! Love that dress by the way – stunning x
I’ve lived several phases in my life, school, uni, work, motherhood and moved to different areas. Had different interaction with different schools and such. In doing so, I’ve had different types of friends, and have had the pleasure of having the fake friends. I now have some most loyal friends, whom I love dearly. Most of them live far away, but even if years pass, when I do see them, it is as if we’ve not been apart. These are the people I hold dear, and everyone else is either kept at arms length or I just don’t bother.
Fakes friends don’t always realise how cruel they are being when they drop you because they got a ‘better’ offer for a night out or treat you badly. Real friends are worth fighting for.
This is so spot on! Seriously! I have several of these people in my life. Honestly, I’m just ready to move on and start fresh!
xx,
Lacey
http://theglittergospelblog.com
I wish I knew this couple of years ago but the thing is we all learn with age!
Spotting a real, loyal friend is something you get better at with age so congratulations on your ability to spot it so young! Great advice for others and as always you look beautiful x
Oh if only I knew how to identify them back when I was at school!
I am usually the person that is called when no one else is available and let me tell you, it hurts. After awhile it’s obvious and well…bye felicia!
Too sad to know that i had a fake friend. Maybe that is my life, there are fake and there are real.
For me it is all about both making effort. Sometimes with fake friends, I seem to be making all the plans and effort while hey sit back and just simply show up without even a thank you. x
Friendships can be really difficult sometimes, so these tips are great for figuring out who your real friends are. Friends who are often jealous and comparing themselves to you are not your true friend. You look gorgeous in the picture, too.
Great article. I agree there are sometimes fake people around and we don’t even realize it.
Oh, I hate the “Gossip Queen”! I have a traumatizing experience with this one… I was living with my boyfriend so my flat was empty and she came out of nowhere asking me if she could maybe stay in my house for a few days until she sorts herself out. I agreed, buy days became weeks and she would be very sweet with me every time we met. She even managed to get a job in the same place as I did. And that’s when the nightmare started…. behind my back she managed to turn everyone against me through gossip, during their smoking breaks which I would never join as I don’t smoke. She invented so many lies, and I still don’t understand why… all I did was to be kind to her and let her live in my empty apartment, without paying anything.
As heartbreaking as it is to let people go, fake friends will only make your life chaotic and toxic. It’s really not worth having them around anymore. I think these are spot on. In time, you’ll get used to spotting them in no time.
I’m not so good in spotting a fake friend! And that’s quite a problem. I just found out that a friend whom I’ve known for years and told really deep things about myself, is not actually a friend at all and only keeps up appearances.
Fake friends are the worst! Over the years I have become better at spotting them out myself. I prefer to have only positive supportive people in my life.
I think as we age this happens less and less (the fake friends) because life just becomes too busy to TRY to hangout with people who you’re not close to OR the ones that make life less fun and rather put more heartache and work into your life. I know who my close friends are and I cherish them… And as I make new friendships I am wise to the game (with age comes wisdom!) Fake people drive me nuts! great topic!
I think it is extremely important to teach my daughter how to make sure that she knows how to spot fake friends. Thanks for the help.
My small town has way to many gossip queens. what a great list, and all very true!
This is a tough one! I think dynamics in friendships are often quite complicated especially if you have known someone for a long time. I have some old friends who I share a lot of memories with but I sometimes feel like I am just their rubbish bin where they offload and then walk away. You are so right – a friendship has to be give and take.
Unfortunately I’ve had to deal with a lot of fake friends over the years. When I became a shift worker who travels a lot I learnt to let them go. I don’t have many weekends free for friends and i’m not wasting that time on fake ones. They are annoying but they do help you appreciate the true friends you have 🙂
OH the fake friends. They are lurking around everywhere, looking for their next victim. I The worst fake friend I had was the one who even became a close buddy but things changed when she learned that my promotion was in the works. She started gossiping and saying stuff behind my back. I told her off and the “friendship” was over.
Friendships are hard without fake friends. Its good you can spot them and clear them out of your life.
Fake friends are everywhere so I have had to learn how to spot them.
I still have not mastered spotting fakes friends, like you I was friends with a gossip queen. She would always spread rumours around about me and bitch about me to people, even my boyfriend. She had the nerve to deny it!
I’ve had my share of fake friends when i was younger. Maybe that is part of the reason why I don’t like to meet new friends sometimes. It’s just too tiring and disappointing in the end.
I need Jasmine to be my alter! It seriously sucks when you find out people are full of it. I tend to attract the manipulative ones. And because I’m not like that at all (seriously who has the energy or the time?) I don’t expect it. Thinking about some of the things my “friends” have done seriously makes me question their level of sociopath tendencies lol. Crazy asses. Even my friends that are really good people. I just had to have a conversation with a dear friend of mine because I was trying to cheer her up after a break up. I told her not to make plans for a certain day. She made plans. Not one but two. I just told her what’s up and that it was messed up that she can ask me to drop everything and come over and comfort her but when I want to do something and PLAN it, she cancels. She apologized profusely and took an entire day to make up for it. Had to learn to start speaking up!
You just described almost every woman I know. Not to stereotype all women but maybe I just attract the wrong people?? That’s why I keep my friendship circle for small and first signs of red flags I’m out. At least you know it’s not you – people are just jerks.
I too have had my share of fake friends. Just keep being your awesome self and your people will naturally find you. x
I always believe in my gut. I also sense if a person is being genuine or fake. I am very blessed to find true friends.
I just don’t understand some people, I mean why? And what could they possibly get out of it? You seem to have survived more than your fair share of fake friends. Thankfully I’ve only had a few but still, it takes it toll. Also Jasmine is one of my favourite names – I used to wish it was my name x
Oh girl I could relate to this on so many levels!!!I love the way you have written this and the alter ego of Jasmine, sassy as fuck haha also love the mention of ‘rose tinted glasses’ hahaha! Its a shame that we find so many fake friends in life its horrible, wish finding friends was so much easier!! I don’t have many now because of this I guard myself a lot now and find it really hard to trust! I have a similar post on my blog for that reason too!
I learned to spot fake friends as well as friends who drag me down with their negativity. It’s important to surround yourself with positivity and people who will be there for you no matter what.
I’ve had my share of fake friends and really they are the worst! It hurts because you’ve trusted them and you’ll feel betrayed.
I agree with finding a true friend is like falling in love. I have had my share of fake friends, but it takes a few fakes to find a real one.
I have definitely had my experience with unhealthy friendships. I am a very nurturing, caring and protective friend and I’ve had a good handful (when I say handful, I mean like a giant handful) of “friends” that have leached onto that like it’s their dying days and take advantage of me. Through time I’ve learned how to protect myself first though and I have some really wonderful friends now. I really enjoyed reading this post and it was super informative and great advice!
This is a great post and thank you for sharing your advice and experiences. It’s sad how some people can be that call themselves your friend but you just have to move on and just remove them from your life.
I’ve had so many fake friends, it’s so refreshing to get rid!
It’s so important to spot fake friends. You don’t want to fill your life with them because they’re one sided friendships and don’t add anything to your life.
I’ve had my fair share of fake friends in the past. I wish I was better at spotting them out when I was younger. I’m pretty much a loner now. Less drama that way! 🙂
How can people be so horrible, I think as you get older you learn who you can trust, and that not everyone is true to who they are.
Thanks for sharing! I have had at least one of these types of friends in my lifetime. But as you get older and wiser, you can easily spot them. No more fake friends.
First off, this dress is gorgeous! I got rid of these fake friends a few weeks ago. They didn’t even care or notice. It hurt a bit, but I’ve gotten over it since they weren’t really my friends. I feel for you!
Anyone who brings you down doesn’t deserve your time. My heart goes out to those who read this and find themselves checking off all the things that someone in their lives has.
I’ve also had my share of fake friends over the years. I think sometimes relationships like these grow apart, especially when one side shows their true colors.
You literally took the words out of my mouth with this post. Far too many fake friends I had to let go lately and I feel so much better. My circle is nice and small and I can count my “ride or dies” on one had. I’m completely ok with that!
I don’t know that I’ve had fake friends since being an adult but I have had bad friends. Anyone who goes by the name friend should not also be described in negative ways.
What a good post and I enjoy reading this you’re so brave to share this with us. Glad you share this.
I’ve had more fake friends than I’d care to admit. The thing is, in my case, and it happens to more people than they’d like to admit, the fake friends I was attracting and attracted to were more a reflection of me and the low state that I was in at that point in my life. As soon as my mental health and self esteem improved I cut off those toxic friendships and have been fake friend free ever since. xx
I have had more than my fair share of each of these “friend” types, especially the gossip queen. Sadly, when you leave them behind, they tend to gossip about you.
It is a lot easier to spot fake friends as you get older and I cannot tolerate false people these days
This hit the nail on the head. This was so perfect. I couldn’t agree more with you. My mother and my husband are so good at spotting fake friends, more than I am because I have just such a big heart and I never want to think ill of anyones intentions. However, that has hurt me in the past.
Oh boy! Can’t believe that I met all these types of fake friends during college days! It is better to remove them from one’s life rather than tolerating them everytime they hurt us!
This post hits close and is really making me reflect on some the relationships in my life. I like reading what you write.
As I grow older I have found it easier to spot fake friends and it’s a shame there are people out there like that .
I have encounter one ‘fake friend’ who is a nightmare for me. I cut our relationship totally and she was so bitter about it. She wrote on social media how ungrateful I am and how I have made use of her ‘kindness’, etc. Ghost..this is the type of people that I would run far far away. As long as they don’t make you as a better person..run away. This is not a friend at all.
The older I get the less time I have for the junk. I don’t make friends as easily as I used to but I’ve also found my true friends that stick by me no matter what. Once you have those few core friends, you are truly set!
This is awsome post to identify fake friend and find those who come upto this proverb “A friend in need is a friend indeed.
It’s so important to have good friends, it’s a real shame that some people choose to abuse that position of trust.
I have had all of these FAUX friends at one point or another and it is exhausting. No one needs to hang onto that drama and toxic friendship. I had a friend that was always ready to run to me when she needed someone’s shoulder to cry on but never wanted to invite me on her fun excursions and adventures (she called on her other friends for that). Eventually I had enough of her toxic friendship and moved on. I don’t miss her that’s for sure!
Tell me about it. Such a relatable post. I have been in the situation where a friend puts me down every single time. Not cool. So i have started to learn how to make the difference between a true and a fake friend. xx corinne
This was so interesting! Friendships can be difficult sometimes. Thanks for sharing!
Good post! I’ve seen and experienced ‘struggle’ friends, too. They’re the ones who only hang around when you haven’t got nothing good going on. But as soon as you’re on your make money/slay goals/evolve mode, they distance themselves. Crabby mentality I spose!
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very well said. Fake friends are worse than enemies. I prefer enemies instead of fake friends.
I think the older you get the more wiser you get as well as being able to count your friends on one hand. growing up you always want to have lots of friends and many make up the people you talk about in these groups. We can only find out someone truth self by getting to know them. great post
Thank you so much for highlighting or suggesting how can we spot fake friends. I highly agree with this point that friend who constantly gossiping about another person but not saying those things to that other persons face, is a Fake Friend.
I had my share of “friends” with not so good intentions in my life. You brought up some good points on how to spot who is true and who is not. I believe as you get older and gain experience you eventually learn to distinguish betweens the weeds and the flowers.
Yes. I have a large circle, but one my one, I know who my real friends are the others have become acquaintances. I would rather be alone than made to feel less than.
These are certainly some tell tell signs of fake friends. Man, some of the ones you mention were really sh…ty to you and I’m happy to hear that you spotted them in time. I feel that getting betrayed by a friend sometimes might even feel more of a betrayal that a partner. I don’t know why but I somehow expect even more loyalty from a girlfriend.