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Dating Disasters With Faded Spring: My Worst First Date

July 16, 2017

Have you ever been on a date so hilariously bad, that the only solution was to bury your head deep in the sand and pretend that the date never existed? Or perhaps your date was going swimmingly well until the ‘dicksand’ erupted and your date showed his/her true colours? Or maybe you didn’t even get to a first date, after being ghosted and finding out months later that the geezer was married all along? Whether your first date was grim, cringe or downright creepy, Faded Spring wants to hear from you. But first grab yourself some strong gin and settle down for a drinking game I like to call ‘my worst first date’. Every time I mention ‘worst first date’ give yourself a well-deserved drink, because trust me, you are going to need it!

<img src="ana.jpg" alt="ana embroidered rose bodysuit">

I was relatively new to the ‘online dating’ scene, after being in back to back relationships from a young age and found the world as a ‘singleton’ a scary ass place. Especially when the majority of my friends were coupled up and would ask me every Goddamn 30 seconds when I was going to ‘find a boyfriend’. Truth was I didn’t need a boyfriend to make me happy and for the first time in five years I felt relieved that I was no longer in a relationship. I had controlling boyfriends, ones that used me to make themselves look better and the cheating exes. I was tired of being used and abused and was relishing the ‘single life’. But still, the insecure part of me craved some male companionship and so bowing down to peer pressure, I created an online dating profile, alongside my other single friends.

While my friends went on date after date, I was picky and it took me a few months to even arrange a first date with someone. I had just binge watched classic Catfish episodes and lord knows I didn’t want to be dating someone who was not who they said they were. Besides, dating from a young age meant that I had never been on a ‘real first date’ so I was a little wary of the ‘online dating’ scene to say the least. Eventually I found this attractive guy from Essex who I seemed to connect with and asked him out on a date.

 

We arranged to meet in the ‘classy’ Spoons (his choice not mine) and while my stomach was grumbling out for food, he said he’d rather not eat and that we ‘should have drinks instead’. I pointed out that I was hungry and was going to get myself some food but he ‘firmly told me’ that he does not like to watch girls eat in front of him, because it ‘puts him off’. Truth be told I should have just ‘upped and left’ there and then but rather than let his careless words offend me, I settled down for the most intense first date I have ever been on. A few moments later, his comments about women and food were quickly forgotten as his tales about his friends and family had me in stitches and I began to feel more at ease. But don’t sit too comfortably yet, not only did he criticize my choice of drink ‘ciders for pussies’ but he also told me that his nickname was ‘monster’ because he had a huge ‘dick’ and that I should be grateful for an opportunity to date him seeing as he was ‘so in demand’.  Ladies let me tell you something, if a guy is boasting about the size of his dick then he either has a small wiener or thinks that his best chat up line is to think with his dick the entire time.

<img src="ana.jpg" alt="ana black embroidered dress">

 

Safe to say, I was growing less impressed by the minute. This guy was an absolute tool and my patience was wearing thin, especially since I was ready to launch myself into the kitchen and grab all the food they had I was that hungry. But MR Tool was so self-assured that I was so won over by his ‘womanizing’ ways, that he proceeded to tell me just how well he thought the date was going. Not only did he tell me how much his friends would love me because I had a ‘smoking hot ass’ (I don’t know if he noticed but I also had a face and ya’ know an actual personality) but he also told me he had a ‘five year plan’. I probably shouldn’t have asked but I was convinced that the first date couldn’t get any worse. I was wrong, oh so very wrong.

This so called five year plan consisted of ‘marriage, babies and meeting the ‘rents’. His exact words were ‘I think we could make beautiful babies together, then get married and I can fly you out to my parents in New York’. I’m not in love with you yet but I know that we will have a bright future together. I mean WTF is he on… crack? A. I like to get to know people before I start thinking of having babies together, B. I don’t want to get married any time soon and C. flying me out to New York to meet your parents when I have only just met you is a little cray-cray. Besides, I like to think that the guy I would do all of these things with would be my soulmate and you my dear MR TOOL, are not getting into my pants anytime soon. So take your misogynistic ways out of my life and go rethink your attitude before you take anyone on a first date again.

<img src="ana.jpg" alt="ana embroidered lost in summer dress">

I thought my worst first date was well and truly over but it turns out I was just kidding myself. I made my excuses to leave and he told me ‘what’s the rush’ lets get started on that five year plan and begin with step one- sex’. I mean call me crazy but I am pretty sure I told you more than once that I wasn’t interested and you think that the best way to woo me is confirm every suspicion I had about you and use me for sex? I mean I like sex, who doesn’t but preferably I’d like to have sex with someone who I actually like and you my friend is someone who I dislike very much.

Not to be put off, he was determined to ‘drive me home’ in his fancy car as he called it and when I told him I would walk, he was flabbergasted. How could I ever resist the chance to ride in his ‘pussy mobile’ in which he gleefully told me he’d done a lot of ‘dogging’, I would be crazy to not take him up on that offer?! Eventually he took the hint and left me alone but 5 minutes later I was bombarded with text after text about how he couldn’t stop thinking about me and ‘knew’ I felt the same way as he did about me. I don’t, now f**k off. He called me his ‘posh bird’ and he said he already told his friends we were an item. I almost felt sorry for him at this point, he was obviously so deluded that he had kidded himself into thinking that we had this ‘fantasy dream date’ that evidently I don’t remember being part of as it was a shitstorm from the get go. I sent him a final message wishing him luck in the future and promptly blocked him. Bye Felicia!

While I have had plenty of dating disasters, this was the first ‘real date’ I had been on outside of a relationship and one of the worst first dates I have been on to this day. From the awful misogyny to boasting about how great he was every 5 f**king minutes, this guy was an absolute tool and the train that was heading towards ‘great first date central’ had crashed and burned within 5 seconds of meeting him. Ladies and gentleman, while my worst first date seemed like a scene from Eastenders, this time I want to put the spotlight on you. Think you have a ‘worst first date’ to rival mine, or have a first date that is so cringe-worthy that everyone needs to know? Then email me at analuisadejesus1993@hotmail.co.uk for a chance for your story to be featured here on Faded Spring. Go on, bless me with your dating disasters…

<img src="ana.jpg" alt="ana black embroidered mesh bodysuit dating disasters">

What Has Been The Worst First Date That You Have Ever Been On?

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Comments

  1. Aj Wathern says

    July 16, 2017 at 8:53 pm

    Oh my Gosh! I genuinely didn’t realise how deluded some guys were until I had to start dating again. There was the guy who lived in the adjoining house who text me, after phoning 5 times, that he could “hear the phone ringing so I better answer or he was coming through”!! Or the sod that wouldn’t tell me what our surprise date was so I ended up ruining my suede Isabel Marant wedge trainers on his “romantic country walk” 😭😭.

    Reply
  2. Nikki says

    July 16, 2017 at 8:54 pm

    Oh my god Ana this post really made me laugh out loud. Sounds like you had a lucky escape!

    Reply
  3. Marina Rosie says

    July 16, 2017 at 9:31 pm

    Ana, you really have a way with words that’s always able to make me chuckle! xx I, too, binge watch catfish – Max and Nev are EVERYTHING! xx

    Reply
  4. Leigh Travers says

    July 16, 2017 at 9:45 pm

    Oh my gosh, it sounds like you had a lucky escape with that one! What a tool! It’s so awkward trying to escape from a bad date too!

    Reply
  5. Amanda says

    July 16, 2017 at 10:56 pm

    Wow! How the hell did you make it through a round of drinks with this guy? He doesn’t even sound real! And to think he thought he actually had a chance with you after that? Lol thanks for sharing this has actually made my day. Good luck with future dating you are too good for guys like these!

    Reply
  6. Ayesha Farhad says

    July 16, 2017 at 11:32 pm

    Haha I couldn’t stop laughing! a friend recently married an absolute nightmare who was chatting up girls literally a week after they had been married! There are some absolute knob heads out there!

    Reply
  7. Sona Jain says

    July 17, 2017 at 6:06 am

    I feel in love with the guy I am married to and he is the only guy I have dated in my life. However, I seen things going really bad in relationships with some of my friends and especially their dates. it can be quite a terrifying experience.

    Reply
  8. Marina Jurcic says

    July 17, 2017 at 7:14 am

    This was so funny to read, but probably not so funny to experience. Wish you all the best in the future dating world 🙂

    Reply
  9. Prateek Goel says

    July 17, 2017 at 7:19 am

    I had never been on online dating…Yes there are people who unfortunately dated someone who were not what they appears on dating sites etc. They are not real. Thank god you were lucky to escape that guy. Best of luck for the future dating.

    Reply
  10. Tania Potter - Soul Sense Coaching says

    July 17, 2017 at 7:41 am

    Ha ha ha, while I’m sure it wasn’t funny at the time, this was hilarious to read! Talk about a date from hell. Oh my word, what a nightmare.

    Reply
  11. Elanor says

    July 17, 2017 at 8:35 am

    I met my husband online dating, and we both regularly joke about all the shit we had to wade through before finding each other! I try not to remember all the bad dates and instead choose to recreate the first date with my husband on our anniversary! 🙂

    Reply
  12. Jon says

    July 17, 2017 at 9:06 am

    I can’t believe you made it through the date. You did well not to fake a phone call and vanish lol

    Reply
  13. Samantha Mayers says

    July 17, 2017 at 9:13 am

    Oh my days. What a story! I must admit I was having a bit of a chuckle reading this lol. X

    Reply
  14. Natalie Redman says

    July 17, 2017 at 9:26 am

    Jesus. I don’t know how you stayed so calm. If he told me I couldn’t eat in front of him, I’d order the biggest thing off the menu and eat like a pig. What a scumbag!

    Reply
  15. Yaya says

    July 17, 2017 at 9:32 am

    WTF!!!! I mean, this guy, seriously, wtf! <– pretty much what I was saying out loud all throughout the post! That does sound like the worst first date pretty much ever. That sets the bar quite low, so I am sure you'll have many much better first dates to come.

    Reply
  16. Kate says

    July 17, 2017 at 10:12 am

    I met my husband through an online dating site. Here is my tip, choose a site that you have to pay for, and that has some element of interests, background and personality matching. That way, by having to go to a bit of effort, it usually helps weed out the people who are just on there for sex, and you find someone who wants to meet new and interesting people, with a view to a relationship…
    7 years later: Marriage, 2 babies and a move to Paris; I can attest to the fact that you can find love online.
    Kate http://www.fivelittlestars.com

    Reply
  17. Robin rue says

    July 17, 2017 at 10:24 am

    Omg what a JERK! I would have left after he denied me food, but I’m glad you stayed otherwise you wouldn’t have this awesome story!

    Reply
  18. Dean of Little Steps says

    July 17, 2017 at 11:27 am

    Oh dear, what a creep. I never liked dating, thank goodness I’m so over that now. I hate men who are so full of themselves. Best to stay away from them. xx

    Reply
  19. Tiffany says

    July 17, 2017 at 11:32 am

    When I read he didn’t want you to eat in front of him because it puts him off, my mouth actually fell open in shock – what an absolute d*ck head! It still shocks me how many deluded, arrogant and idiotic males there are out there – it’s such a shame you have to encounter a few of them before you find a proper human being to share your life with!

    Reply
  20. Talya says

    July 17, 2017 at 11:50 am

    Oh my goodness I can’t believe people like this actually exist what a douchebag!!!!!

    Reply
  21. Lauretta at Home and Horizon says

    July 17, 2017 at 1:22 pm

    Oh my! I cant believe he had the guts to do that. You obviously don’t deserve him.

    Reply
  22. Susu says

    July 17, 2017 at 1:23 pm

    This made me really laugh….I haven’t dated that much so my first dates haven’t been too bad…and hoping I don’t have one cause I wouldn’t know what to do

    Reply
  23. Lauretta at Home and Horizon says

    July 17, 2017 at 1:24 pm

    Oh my! I cant believe he had the guts to do that. You obviously don’t deserve him. You deserve someone way better than the kind of man he is.

    Reply
  24. Amalia says

    July 17, 2017 at 1:36 pm

    OMG, your story made me laugh!! Think we all got something similar at one point in our lifes!! Don’t loose hope, the right guy will appear.

    Reply
  25. Shannon Bryson says

    July 17, 2017 at 1:39 pm

    Yikes! What a first class douche! I’m lucky that I didn’t date much before I met my current boyfriend and we’ve been together for almost four years. I feel lucky that I escaped the bad dating scene. I did have one awkward date where I watched Forrest Gump with a guy in his room on bed and we barely talked or touched each other.

    Reply
  26. Jessica Joachim says

    July 17, 2017 at 1:43 pm

    I have had some terrible dates! One guy I started seeing, everything seemed fine and normal…then I found out he was engaged! I felt so terrible and promptly ended it.

    Reply
  27. Chelf says

    July 17, 2017 at 1:51 pm

    My worst date was with the love of my life ( still together by the way ) we rented a music studio so that he would teach me how to play the drums. We ended up fighting over something meaningless and got stuck in the studio for 2 hours

    Reply
  28. Laima says

    July 17, 2017 at 2:08 pm

    Oh, wow! That guy is craaazy.. I’ve never been on a date with someone I didn’t already know and I feel so lucky after reading your story, haha.

    Reply
  29. Shannon Patterson says

    July 17, 2017 at 3:19 pm

    I’ve had some pretty bad dates, but nothing like this one! I don’t understand how men think that acting like this is appealing? So strange! While I’m sure it wasn’t funny at the time, the recollection of your first date sure gave me a good laugh! Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  30. Karen Morse says

    July 17, 2017 at 3:28 pm

    Oh my, I am at a loss for words. This guys has left me speechless. I cannot believe how much he loves himself. Lol. Self love is good but anything excessive is bad for you. Good thing you ditched this guy but kudos for stsying that long. I would have walked away as soon as he said “monster”.

    Reply
  31. AnnMarie John says

    July 17, 2017 at 3:30 pm

    A little humility wouldn’t hurt. This guy is too much and I would have loved to show him how much of an A** he is. I have had my fair share of beyond terrible dates!

    Reply
  32. Terri Steffes says

    July 17, 2017 at 3:34 pm

    Oh my word! I am so glad I am out of the dating game. That’s just nuts. I feared for your safety a bit, did you? If he was such a gift, then I was thinking he’d make you see how wonderful he truly was. Glad it’s over!

    Reply
  33. Anne says

    July 17, 2017 at 3:51 pm

    I’ve never heard anything so awful, it sounds like someone was betting him to say the things he said. You really had a lucky escape.
    #MMBC

    Reply
  34. Silvia says

    July 17, 2017 at 4:03 pm

    Wow girl, some people… But hey, no way to weed the tools from the good ones other than trial and error. I have to say though, it sounds pretty horrific and I think I would’ve ran away so fast you would’ve seen a me-shaped hole in the wall :))

    Reply
  35. Heidi says

    July 17, 2017 at 4:27 pm

    I’m surprised you lasted so long! You know the phrase, “You had me at hello?” He lost me at hello!

    Reply
  36. Jordan Nelson says

    July 17, 2017 at 4:54 pm

    Ugh. I think were all destined to have some awful dates but lately all first dates I have gone completely rogue. I had one guy tell me he saw a picture of my mom and that’s the only reason he agreed to date me… LIKE WHAT?!

    Reply
  37. Joanna @ Everyday Made Fresh says

    July 17, 2017 at 4:56 pm

    This reminds me so much of a young adult fiction novel where the girl ends up with the guy, and they live happily ever after. So crazy that guys like this exist in the real world.

    Reply
  38. Jenn JG says

    July 17, 2017 at 5:02 pm

    OMG what a mess of a date this sounds like. You should have got some to-go food and got the heck out of there. This dude def sounds like a monster but not for “that” reason!

    Reply
  39. Sam says

    July 17, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    Wow! Your first date experience was not so good. Good luck next time.

    Reply
  40. corinne & kirsty says

    July 17, 2017 at 5:37 pm

    I think I can say I am lucky enough to never had bad surprises on dates. I never had bad dates. and I am out of the dating world now ahah

    Reply
  41. jen @ thehollyhockdoor says

    July 17, 2017 at 5:57 pm

    Wow! I’m glad you were able to leave and can laugh about it! First dates are such fun stories – I hope you have some real gems sent to you!

    Reply
  42. Divyanka says

    July 17, 2017 at 6:24 pm

    Thankfully I’ve never come across such guys, but this made me believe that they actually exist! Watching a girl eat puts him off?? Like seriously? And he was expecting to be with you and have babies with you! And monster?? Instead of making you comfortable with him, he was telling you all these! Thank God you are not with him.

    Reply
  43. Jessica Taylor says

    July 17, 2017 at 6:40 pm

    OMG. Sounds like a few dates i’ve been on! Reason 546534654 I am still single lol.

    Reply
  44. Chelsea Elizabeth says

    July 17, 2017 at 8:07 pm

    Pussy mobile! Haha, that made me laugh! Luckily I’ve never been on a “bad date” and after reading this post I’m quite glad! Sounds like you had a lucky escape!

    Reply
  45. Jayne @ Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs says

    July 17, 2017 at 8:34 pm

    I really enjoy your writing style. you really made me laugh!
    (hubby helping out)

    Reply
  46. Laura says

    July 17, 2017 at 8:38 pm

    This really does sound like a bad one. I’m not sure I could beat that! My worst first date as definitely a guy who could recall a past life… which involved being killed by a Wooly Mamoth. It was pretty random!

    Reply
  47. five little doves says

    July 17, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    OMG Ana!! If this wasn’t real it would be hilarious but what a massive d*ck…literally!! That really does sound like the worst first date ever!! You live and learn…!

    Reply
  48. Krysten says

    July 17, 2017 at 9:30 pm

    Holy crap, that not only sounds like the worst date ever but the most awkward date ever. I really would have left in the middle of it. Especially after he talked about babies and marriage.

    Reply
  49. Andrea says

    July 17, 2017 at 9:52 pm

    this outfit is so gorgeous! on another note this sounds like such a horrible date. hahaha you totally made me laugh.. thanks so much for sharing this Ana!

    Reply
  50. Cath - BattleMum says

    July 17, 2017 at 10:23 pm

    OMG what a tool. Perfect word for him by the way! I’m thankful I’ve only ever had one real first date and 17 years later we’re happily married x

    Reply
  51. Kimberly Croisant says

    July 17, 2017 at 11:18 pm

    I have been on plenty bad dates in my life…and so glad I’m married now. I wouldn’t want to date in this day and time.

    Reply
  52. Hey Sharonoox says

    July 17, 2017 at 11:47 pm

    I’ve never been to an online dating but it sounds like that guy is not cool at all. Sorry to hear that your first dating experience was a disaster. Good luck and hope you’ll find your MR Right!

    Reply
  53. Amber Myers says

    July 17, 2017 at 11:54 pm

    Oh man, I’m sorry you went through that. He would hate me, I feel like I eat throughout the day. And pussy mobile? Yikes.

    Reply
  54. Heather Johnson says

    July 18, 2017 at 12:34 am

    I luckily only had good experiences with good dates. I can say that I am happy to be married now and far away from the dating scene.

    Reply
  55. Cassie says

    July 18, 2017 at 1:19 am

    This guy sounds like a real piece of work – gets “put off” by women eating in front of him LOL! Good luck to that guy getting his plan about getting married done if he never wants to watch a woman eat!!

    Reply
  56. Chel says

    July 18, 2017 at 1:51 am

    You lasted a hell of a lot longer than I would have on that date! I mean maybe had he bought you dinner, you could have suffered through it until you finished your meal and then bolted, but yikes! I have SO MANY horrible dating stories I could share! Lots of frogs out there for sure.

    Reply
  57. Erica M says

    July 18, 2017 at 2:10 am

    This guy sounds AWFUL. Jeez. My worst first date took me to fast food and then showed me his HIV test results because “he’d slept with a lot of girls in high school and just wanted me to know he was clean.” Ewww. Later, while he was eating a hamburger I told him I was a vegetarian. He asked me if I would kiss someone who ate meat. I said, “well not if there are bits of meat in your mouth,” not knowing what else to say. He put the hamburger down and I told him to eat it because I would never kiss him. And my husband is not a vegetarian. This guy was just gross.

    Reply
  58. Cynthia Nicoletti says

    July 18, 2017 at 2:21 am

    What a terrible time I’m so sorry for what you went through. Some men I’m just really in saying I would have just walked away .

    Reply
  59. Cindy Ingalls says

    July 18, 2017 at 4:22 am

    I’m so glad I don’t have to date any more! Sounds like you escaped just in time!

    Reply
  60. Sarah-Louise Bailey says

    July 18, 2017 at 5:37 am

    Getting a date from dating sites is something that you cannot always say you’re lucky! It is better to date with someone that you knew personally.

    Reply
  61. Charlotte says

    July 18, 2017 at 8:29 am

    is this guy kidding! lol I would have been done at the food part, ordered myself a big old plate of chips and had a better evening on my own! What a tool, it’s funny now but what a horrble and awkward situation to have been in!

    Reply
  62. Stephanie Merry says

    July 18, 2017 at 8:49 am

    Now that sounds like a terrible date! I’ve had a fair few of these as well x

    Reply
  63. Stephanie Usher says

    July 18, 2017 at 9:11 am

    Wow! I’m so sorry that you had such an awful date, what an arse! xxx

    Reply
  64. Gloria says

    July 18, 2017 at 9:21 am

    ” …he does not like to watch girls eat in front of him because it ‘puts him off’. ” WHAT?! Oh, good grief. I can’t stop laughing at that one. I would have stood up and left. That moment. You really should have run for the hills then and there.

    Reply
  65. Jenni says

    July 18, 2017 at 9:33 am

    Oh my gosh your date sounds awful, a guy boasting about how great he is every 5 minutes would drive me insane. I’ve not had a bad date luckily.

    Reply
  66. The London Mum says

    July 18, 2017 at 9:38 am

    Hahaha oh my god! Total disaster date!! He sounds like a real character though.. god help the girl he ends up with!

    Reply
  67. Mel says

    July 18, 2017 at 10:06 am

    Oh wow that guy sounds absolutely awful! So glad you blocked him. I can’t wait to read some other people’s dating disasters too!

    Reply
  68. Blair villanueva says

    July 18, 2017 at 10:58 am

    I have to grab a bowl of popcorn and read your post. Lol soo entertaining!

    Reply
  69. Nayna Kanabar says

    July 18, 2017 at 11:04 am

    What an awful experience, I hope you put it behind you and don’t let it get in the way of potential new dates.

    Reply
  70. Nazrin says

    July 18, 2017 at 12:02 pm

    This is horrible! You had a lucky escape & you’ve learnt some good lessons from this awful experience!

    http://www.nmdiaries.com

    Reply
  71. Joanna says

    July 18, 2017 at 12:08 pm

    Your story reminded me of JP from Fresh Meat (brilliant series and he did become a good boy by the 4th series but still). I can’t believe this kind of specimens do believe that their attitude will ever bring them a serious girlfriend. Flying you to New York, that was probably just a phrase to make you think that he is loaded with money, to fall at his feet. As if money were supposed to be a girl-catcher. Rather poor than with someone like him, haha

    Reply
  72. Rachel George, Ordinary Hopes says

    July 18, 2017 at 1:06 pm

    Wow! He was a seriously bad date! Compared to that, I have only ever had great dates!

    Reply
  73. Krystle Cook says

    July 18, 2017 at 1:49 pm

    Dating can definitely be so trivial sometimes. This made me giggle in some parts because you are speaking the truth!

    Reply
  74. Rhian Westbury says

    July 18, 2017 at 1:53 pm

    To be honest I don’t think I’ve ever been on a particularly bad first date, although like you I am very picky about the ones I’ve been on. Mine would usually be bad afterwards and end with him disappearing x

    Reply
  75. Emily Leary says

    July 18, 2017 at 3:03 pm

    Oh gosh, that man sounds rather deluded! I suppose it was good of him to make it clear how incomparable you were from the start, even if it was totally unintentional!

    Reply
  76. Anvita says

    July 18, 2017 at 3:38 pm

    Oh, my !!!! That seems like a really disastrous date. Some people are so full of themselves, it’s unbelievable.

    Reply
  77. suzy Mccullough says

    July 18, 2017 at 5:29 pm

    Woah. How do men like this even exist in this day and age? Tool for sure and enough to put you off dating forever. Scary. Especially not letting you eat.

    Reply
  78. Whitney aka Mrs. Millennial says

    July 18, 2017 at 5:53 pm

    I would have left as soon as he had the comment about not eating. No one has time for that nonsense. Glad I’m not in the dating scene anymore!

    Reply
  79. Ania Travels says

    July 18, 2017 at 5:54 pm

    Some guys!!!! I totally get the feeling though, I’ve been back in the dating scene fairly recent (excpt I’m dadting as a nomad) and holy crapsickle some guys I just cant… BEst of luck to you though.

    Reply
  80. Ickle Pickle says

    July 18, 2017 at 6:36 pm

    O.M.G. what a vile man! I was cringing at everything he said to you – I can hardly believe it! You poor thing! Kaz x

    Reply
  81. lex says

    July 18, 2017 at 6:40 pm

    dating can be tough on us all, first date experiences comes with alot of tension to some who try to impress and make up a good start for a better stay and longetivity but some end up ruining it all, i kinda prefer the live it as it and if they want to, they will stay and if not, they will go. you sure had a hell of ones and twos here.

    Reply
  82. Cecilia C. Cannon says

    July 18, 2017 at 7:15 pm

    I think everyone has experienced at least one bad first date, and key word, at least one. You might have more. part of the whole life thing experience

    Reply
  83. Musings of a tired mummy...zzz... says

    July 18, 2017 at 7:32 pm

    I’m surprised you stayed that long! I chatted online to some weird people when I signed up to match.com but I just ignored them when they got too peculiar and thankfully I met Chris within the first month!

    Reply
  84. Angela @marathonsandmotivation.com says

    July 18, 2017 at 7:33 pm

    Great post, you really are a gifted writer and made me laugh!! Also, I absolutely love your dress and boots!!!

    Reply
  85. Jenny says

    July 18, 2017 at 8:08 pm

    He sounds truly terrible but what a great story!

    Reply
  86. Kaity | With Kids and Coffee says

    July 18, 2017 at 10:31 pm

    Oh wow. Glad you made it out okay! Dating can be such a nightmare sometimes. :/

    Reply
  87. Sincerely Ophelia says

    July 18, 2017 at 10:51 pm

    Bad first dates are the worst. This guy is crazy though, not even letting you eat. Not sure what it means by put him off, because I’m sure he eats as well. The experience that followed is not great either. Glad that’s over with.

    Reply
  88. Kristina says

    July 18, 2017 at 11:24 pm

    Some men I can’t even believe. I’ve had one bad first date and was just fed up and irritated. Dating now days is scary and can suck.

    Reply
  89. David Elliott says

    July 19, 2017 at 4:00 am

    I don’t think I have anything that would compare to your dating experience. I have had ones where women showed up on the date practically naked and demand a massage and sex. Wait. . . maybe that’s just as bad. Hmmmm… Then I did have one who stared at me the whole entire date, barely saying a few words. I know my dating experiences have ranged all over the place.

    Reply
  90. Sondra says

    July 19, 2017 at 4:13 am

    That guy should just keep quiet since he kept putting his foot in his mouth. That is no way to win a girl over. I hope you have luck with a real genuine man.

    Reply
  91. Stacey says

    July 19, 2017 at 4:48 am

    There really are some sleazy people out there! Men and women. Unfortunately they don’t wear signs that give us notice before we sit down at a date with them. Fortunately, I have never experienced a date like yours. Live and learn.

    Reply
  92. Leandra - LarabeeUK says

    July 19, 2017 at 5:44 am

    Omg Ana I don’t know how you stuck it out for as long as you did. What a complete idiot! You definitely had a close shave there, good job you weren’t feeling low enough to give in at the time x

    Reply
  93. Kara Guppy says

    July 19, 2017 at 5:58 am

    OMG< what an absolute Numpty (that's the politest thing I could say). I cannot remember any dating disasters, it has been far too long but I must have had some

    Reply
  94. Sierra says

    July 19, 2017 at 6:59 am

    I loved this story! Don’t get me wrong, I am so sorry you had to go through that. However as a reader I couldn’t wait for the next twist and turn. The moment someone (especially a man) tells me not to eat is the moment I order a large hamburger with fries and an extra side of onion rings – don’t forget the shake.

    Reply
  95. Amila Wickramarachchi says

    July 19, 2017 at 7:14 am

    Oh my!This post could make me laugh and I can imagine how uncomfortable you were when you were really hungry,but couldn’t eat! You sure have much patience to spend more time with him and to listen his crazy talks! 🙂

    Reply
  96. Newcastle Family Life says

    July 19, 2017 at 9:45 am

    He sound’s like a total idiot, some people amaze me the way that they go on. Sadly there is so many men like this xx

    Reply
  97. fashionmommy says

    July 19, 2017 at 11:07 am

    OMG Ana, the man who didn’t like girls eating in front of him – what did he think, we survived on fresh air??? I’ve never had a terrible first date, but did have a very quiet one with a lad who hardly spoke – v. uncomfortable to say the least.

    Reply
  98. Gareth Torrance says

    July 19, 2017 at 12:48 pm

    Random fact about me; I’ve only been on 3 dates in my life… And I’m also 30. The second one was a second “first date”, led to my third date ever, which led to the relationship that has given me marriage and a daughter.

    Reply
  99. Brittany says

    July 19, 2017 at 2:20 pm

    Most of mine were in high school. We were a part of a youth group together and we both had some pretty crazy rules from our parents. Now we all laugh it off.

    Reply
  100. Brandi Puga says

    July 19, 2017 at 2:34 pm

    I love your hairpeice in these photos! Dating is a rough gig, it’s definitely not something that i miss but that i wish you the best of luck with!

    Reply
  101. Jeanine says

    July 19, 2017 at 3:24 pm

    My first date with my now husband was pretty awful. But clearly he didn’t think so, haha! I love reading other peoples dating nightmares to feel better about mine, but wow! Glad you are ok and things are well!

    Reply
  102. kerry norris says

    July 19, 2017 at 4:25 pm

    Some men are such prats. My worst first date wasn’t that bad really but it involved me spilling food (which had tomato sauce on it) all down my white top and he basically told me I was an idiot 🙁

    Reply
  103. margarette says

    July 19, 2017 at 4:38 pm

    Haha. I almost cried laughing while reading your post. Though t’was your worst first date, am pretty sure readers got some idea on having a worst date.

    Reply
  104. Lucy | Real Mum Reviews says

    July 19, 2017 at 5:48 pm

    Wow – I am amazed you lasted as long as you did! He sounds like a total idiot!

    Reply
  105. Helen says

    July 19, 2017 at 6:48 pm

    Oh wow, he really does sound an absolute tool. And so creepy too! You definitely dodged a bullet there Ana.
    I don’t think I’ve ever had a spectacularly bad first date worth telling.

    Reply
  106. Sarah says

    July 19, 2017 at 7:45 pm

    Ughhh. What a hideous pig of a man! Glad you got out when you did! I’ll share your post for you incase anyone I know has any stories x

    Reply
  107. Mummy Times Two says

    July 19, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    I really really don’t miss dating. It really can be so tricky, especially those first few trips out together xx

    Reply
  108. Whitney Loren says

    July 19, 2017 at 8:20 pm

    This date disaster really made me laugh so much! Some men are so strange and so up their own a**. However, lucky escape and I hope you never have to experience a date like that again, nor do I ever want to encounter one!

    XO

    Reply
  109. Angela Bethea says

    July 19, 2017 at 8:56 pm

    I can still recall some of the worst Date I had when I started dating before. I am so glad I am not in tha phase anymore.

    Reply
  110. Amber Nelson says

    July 19, 2017 at 11:46 pm

    Wow! That guy sounds like a big time idiot! It is just so hard for me to fathom what makes them think people are going to find that appealing..especially on a first date!

    Reply
  111. Yasmin Ali says

    July 20, 2017 at 12:15 am

    Oh my god. What a disaster! I would have walked out the minute he said he doesn’t like watching girls eat, because I’m constantly eating. I don’t have any terrible date stories, but I had my first kiss happen 2 minutes into a date in an elevator hahahaha.

    Reply
  112. Rebecca Swenor says

    July 20, 2017 at 2:12 am

    You have beat all my first dates. This guy was just plain rude. I would have probably left after his remark about women and eating. Thanks for sharing your very disastrous first date with this guy.

    Reply
  113. ellie says

    July 20, 2017 at 3:10 am

    oh my gosh girl I feel this! I had a seriously bad date once … also in a “spoons” in my Uni town, it was terrible I felt like I was on a date with a. 80 year old!! Needless to say there was no second date.

    Ellie | http://www.scotchandstilettos.com

    Reply
  114. Claire says

    July 20, 2017 at 4:37 am

    Omg, it’s horrible. I hate to experience something like this on my first date! I actually never experienced something negative on my first date but this changed my point of view.

    Reply
  115. suchi says

    July 20, 2017 at 4:41 am

    ooh goodness, that sounds crazy!dating can be a nightmare sometimes…glad you got out of that one.

    Reply
  116. yukti says

    July 20, 2017 at 7:53 am

    It is very sad that you had terrifying experiences. But you are bold enough to write them and save many girls falling for fake guys. I think guys are always fake when it comes to dating.

    Reply
  117. Dannii says

    July 20, 2017 at 8:50 am

    Oh wow, what an experience. This is one of the many reasons why I am thankful that I haven’t dated.

    Reply
  118. melissa major says

    July 20, 2017 at 9:56 am

    Such a nice outfit, O my goodness such a shame about the date though

    Reply
  119. Heather says

    July 20, 2017 at 9:56 am

    This is a good one! I honestly don’t have many bad first date stories but I sure do love reading others.

    Reply
  120. Vijay says

    July 20, 2017 at 4:37 pm

    Mostly people like to share success dating but disaster one. But boldly share it. That’s great. Personally I won’t trust anyone before I see in person.

    Reply
  121. devajani says

    July 20, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    Oh well, it made me laugh but at the same time, these kind of people leave me worried. Where we are really heading towards. Raising two kids on my own I want them to fall in love and cherish it. The truth is life is not at all that easy. However, we can’t stop loving! By the way love your shoes. You are a gorgeous girl.

    Reply
  122. Yeu Doi says

    July 20, 2017 at 5:11 pm

    Dating can be quite tricky. Posts like this help young women to navigate the process. 🙂

    Reply
  123. Kira says

    July 20, 2017 at 6:27 pm

    Sounds bad but I’m really glad you stuck through the date just so I had the pleasure of reading this post! I was cringing so hard but I loved reading it!

    Reply
  124. Grace says

    July 20, 2017 at 6:41 pm

    This post made me laugh so much! I admire your patience I would have left his ass right there and would go find me some food.

    Reply
  125. Rachel Catherine says

    July 20, 2017 at 8:11 pm

    Dating can be such a horrible experience. I always hated it and I’m glad social media wasn’t so big when I did it.

    Reply
  126. Stephanie says

    July 20, 2017 at 8:57 pm

    Oh my gosh! I met my hubby online, and the amount of guys who would just send images of their ‘bits’ to me without even saying Hi!! You really think THAT would make me want to talk to you?!

    Reply
  127. Elizabeth O says

    July 20, 2017 at 9:25 pm

    What a bloody nightmare to be stuck with such a narcissistic jerk. I’m glad you high-tailed it out of there and left him to his own delusions.

    Reply
  128. Via Bella says

    July 21, 2017 at 2:04 am

    Holy wow! That dude is cray first off, but it was so crazy my mouth was open and laughing at the thought that he actually thought he had a chance. I am so glad you walked home. With all that delusion crap, holy crap is all I can say.

    I am not looking forward to dating again for sure and this is why.

    Reply
  129. The Frenchie Mummy says

    July 21, 2017 at 8:22 am

    I had some funny dates before meeting Grumpy Boyfriend. So happy I am not on the market anymore after reading this LOL

    Reply
  130. Denice says

    July 21, 2017 at 9:15 am

    My oh my, what a terrible date! I hope you don’t mind me saying this Yvonne but I had fun reading what you shared! I don’t know how I would personally handle the situation if I was in your position though.

    Reply
  131. Ashleigh Dougherty says

    July 21, 2017 at 12:12 pm

    What an absolute psycho! I can’t believe he had the cheek to bombard you with texts after being such a terrible date! I have so many similar horror stories about dating. There really are so many awful men in this world!

    Reply
  132. Kristine Nicole Alessandra says

    July 22, 2017 at 2:40 am

    Thank you for sharing your story. When I was in my freshman year in high school, someone wanted to ask me out for a date which I declined everytime. I was not particularly fond of the perfume he sprays all over the greeting cards and stuffed toys he gives me. I did give him a chance, just one afternoon date at the coffee shop. His perfume was so overpowering I could not even taste my coffee. 🙁 Worst date ever.

    Reply
  133. SM Raiyyan says

    July 22, 2017 at 1:51 pm

    Lol! No comments to be honest! But, this one really made me laugh like hell!

    Reply
  134. Jayne @ Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs says

    July 23, 2017 at 1:09 pm

    Haha! Oh god Ana 😂 He sounded like a right prat. I would have told Mr Tool (and his little tool) to go do one 😉

    Thanks for sharing with #MMBC. Hope to see you Monday xx

    Reply
  135. Oyinkan Ogunleye says

    July 24, 2017 at 6:16 pm

    OMG girl! Men who brag are annoying!
    I can totally understand how you were turned off.

    Reply
  136. Lubka Henry says

    July 25, 2017 at 12:52 pm

    It’s unbelievable that guys like this one exist. Seriously!!

    Reply
  137. Anna R Palmer says

    September 5, 2017 at 4:12 pm

    At least it gave you a good story?

    Reply
  138. Joanna Bayford says

    January 28, 2018 at 10:53 pm

    What a creep there really are some utter tools out there. I’ve been very lucky to have met my hubby when I was 18 and only been with him so not had to experience any bad dates.

    Reply
  139. Alan Moore says

    January 29, 2018 at 9:47 am

    omg haha run…don’t look back hehe
    Yes I do have one. I will type it up later an email it over.

    Reply
    • Ana De- Jesus says

      January 29, 2018 at 10:33 am

      Brilliant I can’t wait to read it!

      Reply
  140. Becca Talbot says

    January 29, 2018 at 5:16 pm

    Oh Ana, I have so many “worst first date” stories, I wouldn’t know where to start!! Honestly, I have been on so many seriously disastrous dates that I’ve decided to stay single for the foreseeable future. I won’t be joining any more online dating sites or apps – so if I do by chance meet someone it won’t be on “Plenty of Freaks” 😛 x

    Reply
  141. Gemma says

    January 29, 2018 at 7:41 pm

    Oh my word, what a disaster. He sounds like an interesting sort… I’ve had a few odd dates where the conversation was so dull or they spent the whole time talking about themselves. Dating is a murky water full dangers and dreary evenings. I did however meet my husband via online dating sites and we hit it off instantly. All he bad dates were worth it to meet him.

    Reply
  142. Bethany says

    January 30, 2018 at 11:18 am

    I both cringed and laughed, how weird. I’ve never been on a date, and definitely dreading it now lol

    Reply
  143. Rebecca Smith says

    January 30, 2018 at 2:48 pm

    That really does sound like a dating disaster, he sounds awful!

    Reply
  144. Tanya Brannan says

    January 30, 2018 at 10:31 pm

    Oh My Lord!!! I read with equal parts of laughter and cringing! What an absolute tool he was, and completely deluded.
    I am so glad that I don’t have to deal with the dating game, as I think I would just become a mad cat lady instead….. far easier! xx

    Reply
  145. Olivia says

    February 4, 2018 at 6:07 pm

    Oh my god, you read about these kind of guys but you never expect to find one yourself. He sounds like a vile vile man, and the fact he thought you liked him back… what an idiot!

    You deserve so much better Ana x

    Reply
  146. Monidipa says

    June 22, 2020 at 6:02 am

    You are wayyyy patient, trust me. I would have simply walked away. But your experience was hillarious.

    Reply

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