Remember when we could fall in love holding hands without a care, no virus to stop us from kissing the one that we adored? Remember when true love, though rare, was a beautiful find, where love was not an impossible dream but a fairytale waiting to happen? We would find our soulmate in the most unexpected of places, and revel in its beauty. Modern daters would find the one through Tinder while traditional daters found love by chance at a bar. But now, learning how to find true love during a pandemic can seem strange.
As if dating wasn’t hard enough, good ol’ Corona came along and turned 2020 into an absolute mess of a year for singles. Gone were the simpler times, sipping on fragrant mojitos awash with ice, laughing vibrantly at each other’s jokes, while sensual R’nB tunes crooned out of the speakers. First date conversations at dinner tables holding hands, became awkward Zoom calls with poor signal, and dating disasters became a marathon of s**tty virtual dates. As for love, could you really fall in love with someone before you had even met them?
Don’t Let The Pandemic Dictate Your Dating Life
But here is where we turn Negative Nancy on its head. Though dating as know it might seem like an impossible dream, as ‘daters’ we have to adapt to the times and make dating ‘work for us’. After all, we might be in a pandemic, but finding love was never going to be ‘effortless’. It took me years to find my soulmate, and when I did, I had found the love of my life, who understood me in more ways than I had thought was possible. We met on Tinder, fell in love in person and are still together now, nearly two years later.
The key is to have faith, be willing to try new things and be able to step outside of your comfort zone in order to find love during a pandemic and meet the one. If you are so fixated on how you ‘used to date’, then you will lose sight of what your actual dating goal is, as opposed to enjoying the dating process. For example during the first lockdown, I was not able to see my partner, because we were not from the same household and we were not quarantining together, which meant we had to get creative about how we would date.
I thought about what we both loved to do on our ‘normal dates’ which included game nights, eating out at resturants and watching movies, and created ‘virtual dating sessions’. Not only did we play ‘get to know each other better Q&A’ games where we would talk into the early hours of the night about everything from what love meant to us, to random s**t , but we also played games like cards, would have long weekly Skype video calls-which could get quite steamy- and would have ‘virtual movie’ and ‘themed dinner nights’.
By Thinking Outside Of The Box You Can Strengthen Your Emotional Connection
By thinking outside of the box we were not only able to strengthen our bond, but we are also able to intensify our emotional and physical connection, and find true love during the pandemic. Though we were in love fairly early on in our relationship, the lockdown helped bring us closer together, because we were able to appreciate how lucky we were to have each other.After all, we found love in a hopeless place.
Whether you are looking for love, want to date other people or are single and are ready to mingle, finding true love during a pandemic doesen’t have to be painful. After all, in the face of adversity true love conquers all, and that’s the motto that we all should strive towards. Even if you don’t find the love of your life, just be open to new dating possibilities during COVID-19. From using local dating apps like Wiltshire dating to find the love of your life in your area, to giving zoom dating a whirl, what will your dating life look like?
Make The Most Of Dating Apps To Find True Love
As someone who found love online, I can attest to the fact that dating apps can help you find love. But can it help you find true love in a pandemic? Well, according to my friend T, dating during lockdown helped her feel more comfortable because it allowed her to take dates at her own pace, and date with caution. She didn’t feel under the same pressure to kiss someone on the first date because they were dating on Zoom and found it easier to tell a date whether she was into him or not, because she wasn’t face to face with her date.
While she didn’t find true love during the pandemic, what she did find was that she became better at setting boundaries, and didn’t feel bad when a date asked her to give her opinion. If T was having a traditional face to face date with this guy, she might have promised a second date, with no intention of seeing him again because she didn’t want to upset him. Yet, on Zoom she had the courage to be open and honest.
Even when T was using online dating apps like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge, she found that she was more mindful about connecting with guys who she felt aligned with her values, beliefs and interests, and took the time to get to know her matches. Before she would have got straight to the point, and set up a date straight away without getting to know the person first, because she felt like ‘there was no point wasting time on apps’. Now, she loves that virtual dating allows her to date without expectations, endless heartbreak or fear.
Online Dating Can Help You Gain Confidence
After all online dating offers benefits that might not exist in many social settings. For example let’s say that you are someone who feels more confident starting a conversation over a message as opposed to in person. It might not be because you are introverted or shy neccessarily, but more that you are worried about what your date might think of you, which might make you quite anxious and nervous.
By using an online dating app like Tinder or Bumble, you can reduce the pressure and limit the expectations, allowing you to get to know someone the virtual way. However, you need to be aware of what you and your date want out of dating, because a ‘virtual relationship’ is not going to last forever without some sort of face to face contact. It’s hard to tell how much chemistry you have over text because how we are as ‘writers’ might not be reflective of who we are as speakers. Even so, online dating apps can still help you find love.
Everything from how we flirt to how we date, right through to how we have sex has changed because of the coronavirus. One night stands turn into webcam sex, dating is done on Skype and Zoom and flirting is done on online dating apps or even social media apps like Instagram and Tik Tok. Dating as we know it has changed, but it does not have to be scary. By signing up to online dating apps, you can have the confidence to find true love during a pandemic without the pressure that you would have in real life scenarios.
Go On Virtual Dates And Use Zoom, Skype or Facetime To Connect
Speaking of virtual dating, in the UK many of us have been turning to ‘virtual video platforms’ like Skype and Zoom to go on dates, because we are in lockdown. As we can’t meet anyone, apart from those in our household (or bubble), we are having to come up with creative ways to find the love of our life. Which is why video calls are great because they allow you to go on a virtual date, without breaking restrictions.
Similar to a real life ‘face to face date’, video calls are a tried and testing bonding technique for couples who are in a long distance relationship. In fact, during lockdown I regularly used Skype to have dates with my boyfriend when we couldn’t be together and it kept the passion alive. It allowed us to express our love, and helped us feel connected. After all digital intimacy is a reflection of modern day life, and everything from the way we flirt, to how we show love is done through Whatsapp messages, calls and social media.
Virtual dating is on the rise, and it’s time that we rethink our attitudes towards dating in lockdown. Video chats create a richer online dating experience, and you are more likely to fall in love with someone on video as opposed to text. Although the UK lockdown is coming to an end, we still have strict tier restrictions in place, meaning that some of us might not feel comfortable about dating in person just yet. And that’s ok, you could have the first two dates on Zoom, and then meet up for a socially distanced date on the third.
While video calls might seem like an unconventional way of dating, if you want to date safely during a pandemic, then virtual dates are the way forward. It might seem different to those of us who are used to going on dates at a quirky bar or restaurant, but sometimes a stripped back environment can help you get to know your date better without any distractions or unneccessary small talk. It’s a win, win situation.
Another great benefit of using video calls to find true love during a pandemic, is that the pace of dating is slower, which in turns builds up the anticipation for when you get to meet your date in real life. It means that you have no false expectations about where your date is headed to, and things don’t feel like they are moving too fast, which is ideal for someone who is recently single or struggles to let their guard down. After all, when me and my partner met he had been in a six year relationship, so he took a while to ‘move at my pace’.
Oh and the best thing about going on a video call, before going on a face to face date? You will know that your date is real because you’ve already met them virtually. As for being stood up, being stood up is a lot easier to take on Zoom or Skype than it is waiting at the train station for your date to show up in a giant flamenco dress. And yes, that did happen to me, but good riddance to catfishes and their sneaky ways.
Find Creative Ways To Showcase Who You Are As A Person
Showcasing your personality over video might feel a bit different than in person, especially when it is just you and your date with no other distractions. With nothing else to focus on but each other this can be both a blessing and a curse. It can be a blessing because you are able to get on a deeper level conversation wise, without making inane remarks like ‘the weather was s**t today’. Yes, Betty we know the weather sucks!
On the other hand it could also be a curse, because you can’t use the distractions in your environment as a way of making conversation. Instead, you need to focus on what you do and don’t want out of this date. For example are you looking for a date that will make you laugh? Then break the ice and think of some cracking games to get the night started. This could be creating a date night that has a theme, list of activities and a food and drink menu. For example the theme could be Comedy TV Shows, and the goal is to win, duh!
Game Nights Or Movie Nights Are A Great Way To Get Your Personality Across
By getting your date in the competitive spirit, you not only have the opportunity to make your personality stand out but you can also crank up the chemistry, as you see each other in a new light. You could choose games that already exist like Poker, Exploding Kittens or Adult Twister or make up your own games. Just be sure to think of a semi-clear cut plan for your date so that you aren’t left struggling to know what to say.
Asides from game nights you could also have ‘Netflix and Chill’ where you both watch the same Netflix movie or TV show, and quote your favourite moments, as you fall asleep together. This is an ideal date for virtual daters who are already feeling comfortable with each other, and want the chance to spend the night together, to simulate emotional intimacy. After all creating a viable connection is so important.
If reading is more your thang, then erotic reading sessions might be a great way to get things hot and steamy under the covers, even if it is virtually. A new wave of sexting, take turns to read excerpts from a steamy novel, and then turn this into a naughty game. This can be a great way of showing your sensual side, whilst building up the lust factor. Because you can’t ‘have each other’ (so to speak), things will feel very hot, when you come together.However make sure that you set boundaries and do what is comfortable for you.
To help set the romance, and find true love during the pandemic, a great way to get you both in the mood is by hosting a ‘virtual candlelight dinner’. Not only can you dress up, and drink wine together -albeit virtually- but you can also cook dinner together via video call. One person chooses the starter, the other chooses the main, and then you both choose dessert. For example you could have buratta with tomatoes for a starter, Penne Arribiata for a main and Gelato for a dessert, creating an Italian themed virtual dinner.
To showcase your personality, you have to think about what defines you as a person. For example, I am quirky, eccentric, colourful and love vegetarian and vegan food, drag queens and cartoons. My partner on the other hand is funny, confident, obsessed with Football and also loves cartoons. So while some of our tastes are different, we share some similarities that allow us to have creative date nights.
After all, during lockdown, we would often have cartoon marathons while randomly singing lines from the show. If you also love cartoons, you could act scenes from your favourite shows, do a wheel of impressions, have show marathons or even do roleplay, if that’s what you are into. No matter what you choose to do, choose a quirky date idea that expresses who you are as a person. After all, you are the best!
Other Virtual Date Night Ideas
- Cocktail Hour
- Wine Tasting
- Fakeaway Night
Consider Quarantining With Your Partner But Only If You Are On The Same Page
Last but not least, to maintain a virtual relationship, many couples have considered moving in together during lockdown. While this has its benefits, it can also have a negative impact on your relationship, especially if you are both not on the same page. For example let’s say that you are a fairly new couple, who have decided to take the plunge and quarantine together, because you can’t bear the thought of being apart.
While the first few weeks are akin to the ‘honeymoon period’, you end up at each others throats, rehashing old fights with a vegeance. You fight over the little, trivial things that end up being blown out of proportion, focus on the ‘arguments’ and bad aspects of the relationship and struggle to keep the peace. Of course squabbles are a natural part of any relationship, but in a closed environment where you can’t even blow off steam or give each other personal space, it can be hard to not fight over the small things in life.
Which is why choosing to quarantine with your partner is a big decision because you need to make sure that you are compatible before you take the leap. You need to bear in mind that it is important to find new ways to keep the romance alive and come up with ways to fight your own negative reactions to conflict. For example if your partner gets upset about something that you think is ‘trivial’ listen to what they have to say, and allow them to explain how the situation makes them feel. Don’t take it as a personal attack.
I always say that when your partner does something that bothers you, it’s important to be open and honest, so that you are able to resolve conflict, before the atmosphere gets toxic. It can be all too easy to feel ‘personally attacked’, to feel like it is someone elses fault or keep your feelings to yourself, because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. However, this is counterintuitive. Instead focus on how you can communicate the way you feel in a helpful, non-intimidating way and always listen to your partners side of the story too.
On the other hand quarantining with your partner can have a host of benefits. From preparing you for when you move in together full time, to bringing you closer together, going into lockdown with your partner could be a blessing. Not only can being together in lockdown help you appreciate your relationship more, but you also get a clearer insight into your partner and their likes and dislikes. You become better at reading their body language and will be more attuned to their moods and know whether they are happy, sad or anxious.
Because you become used to your partner’s ’emotional signals’, you in turn will be able to send ‘signals’ of your own. This allows you to let your walls down and be open, vunerable and honest in the way that you express yourself and your emotions. After all, a relationship without honesty is a ship doomed to sink. When you keep your feelings to yourself this can have a negative impact on your relationship because they might feel like you don’t trust them enough to share what is on your mind. They might also feel like it is their fault.
To get the most out of quarantining together, be sure to outweigh the bad moments with the good. We have a tendency to focus on the negative aspects in our relationship when we should be highlighting the positives. For example is your date kind, compassionate and loyal. Are you excited for a future with your partner? Or if this is someone you haven’t met in person, think optimistically. It could be that you like the way that you laugh when you video call with this person. Or that you feel like you can talk to them about anything.
Remember To Love Yourself Fearlessly
Dating during Covid-19 might seem like an endless pursuit but don’t give up hope. Your soulmate is out there, you can find true love during a pandemic and above all love yourself. Even when there is no romantic love in your life, or you feel that virtual dating is going nowhere, use this time to focus on self-love. Have spa days at home, do meditation and focus on what makes you happy in life. Love will come.
What Are Your Tips For Finding True Love During A Pandemic?
Please note this is a collaborative post but all thoughts are my own and are not affected by monetary compensation. Learning how to find true love during a pandemic might seem like a struggle, but with thought, creativity and determination you can find the one.