When I was younger, I envisioned myself to be at one with the sea, swimming in and out of the waves, like a mermaid. On land I was just as an ordinary girl, fading into the monotonous background of office drones, desensitized to themselves and the people around them but in the water I would come alive. The sea would form foamy waves around me and I would wriggle around the sea shore, plunging into the icy depths of the unknown, to explore a world best kept underground. Would I find the Lost City of Atlantis, or would I find the ultimate Christmas Gift Guide For Mermaid Lovers that would help transform me into the magical mermaid that I had always dreamed of becoming? I would channel my inner Ariel and swim past the rocks that barricaded the beaches and dive into a new world, where the boundaries between mermaids and humans would merge and it was magical.
I dreamed of finding my ‘Merman’ Prince, who would find me floating through the Marine Kingdoms and outstretch a welcoming hand. He would gaze into my eyes and wrap his hand around my waist and together we would be an invincible team that could survive as much on land as we could in the sea. But what on earth does mermen and mermaids have to do with Christmas Gift Guides I hear you ask? Well its simple really; how many of you readers long to escape into a world where famine ceases to exist, where positivity trumps evil and the only sense of discord is knowing what to eat for dinner. On land we fight, we take out our guns and we leave battlezones with blood on our hands. But even when we are not fighting with weapons, we fight with our tongues, calling each other names, bitching and s**t talkin’. Don’t you want a world where magical unicorns and mermaids live together in harmony, where even the clouds are laced with sugar and spice?
Enter the ultimate Christmas Gift Guide For Mermaid Lovers; buy gifts that can spread joy and cheer, even in the darkest corners and shine a light into the inky black darkness, marveling as it transforms into a pink cloud, where the world is seen through rose tinted glasses. Here, in this world that I have plucked out of my imagination there is no war, no famine, no need for destruction. Instead we hold each others hands and marvel at the closeness of human touch, we breathe in deeply and smile. Tomorrow we return back to our lives and normalcy resume. But today we stay united, as merman and mermaids until we close our eyes as the sunset fades into dusk and we fall back to reality.
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- The Saltwater Shimmer Mermaid Bag
Ursula the Mermaid lies in her water coffin, surrounded by moss and seaweed, in the underwater crypt. For a 1,000 years she lays in a peaceful slumber, as the world around her becomes decrepit and falls into disarray. But then one day, time draws to a still and the water kingdom, abandoned long ago finds an intruder knocking at its gates. Her name is Jasmine and she is in search of the infamous saltwater shimmer mermaid bag, that holds the key to opening Ursula’s Water Coffin and setting her free from the spell the jealous sea urchins had placed on her 1,000 years ago. Many tried to stop her from going on her ‘reckless water quest’ but she would not listen and despite her families pleas, she knew that this ‘myth’ was not a legend but a ‘truth’ and she knew it was her duty to set the record straight. For weeks she plumbed the depths of the ocean, making friends with the Dory’s and the Nemos, who accompanied her on the quest to find the mermaid bag.
Until one day she found a ring of light circling a bed of moss and seaweed and she combed her way through the vegetation slowly. Lo and behold she found an underwater castle that sparkled with magic that was etched through its stony interiors. She knew that if she went inside then maybe the mermaid bag with the key to Ursala’s coffin could be unlocked and she could become the explorer that she had always dreamed of becoming.It was cold and dark inside and she could see nothing but inky black darkness as she fumbled through the castle rooms. But then out of nowhere came a radiant light and she found a school of fish smiling kindly at her as she peered through hazed eyes. It was her friends Dory and Nemo who had found her once more and together they discovered the bag enshrouded in pearls, glistening in the light with a mischievous wink. The key wrapped in velvet, helped them open Ursula’s Water Coffin, who at last woke up from her 1,000 year slumber. And it was all thanks to that one bag, who held all the secrets they needed to overcome the hateful sea urchins once more.
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The Perfect Christmas Gift Guide For Mermaid Lovers
2. Body On Demand Mermaid Shimmer Sorbet & Mermaid Bath Prep
After Ursula was freed from her water coffin, she found herself on dry land transforming into a human and losing her mermaids tail. She felt lost without her tail, and while she was thankful that she was no longer in slumber she wished that she had been allowed to keep her ‘mermaid identity’. It was one night, alone by the fire crackling in her room that it came to her, a vision in sparkling glory. What better than a sparkling shimmer sorbet and pink glitter bath to perk her up and give her the sculpted look of a mermaid reborn? She would throw love and peace into the mix and smile at the dazzling sparkles that glinted ever so cunningly in the low lit room. Her lover was coming over in five minutes and she covered herself in so much glitter that she would sparkle every time she would move. Her hair was dyed all the colours of the rainbow and doused with the mermaid glitter she so lovingly sprinkled on herself. It was time, she was ready and as she flung upon the door, her lover flung themselves into her waiting arms and together they entered the bath as one.
So if you, like Ursula want to be turned into a bathtime goddess, shimmering with the sculpted body of a mermaid queen then Body on Demand has the mermaid goodies for you!
Oh and did I mention that BOD is Cruelty Free?
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3. Pusheen Mermaid Colour Changing Mug
Pusheen Looks Even More Adorable As A MermaidWhen Jasmine had found the ‘Saltwater Shimmer Mermaid Bag’ and unlocked the key to Ursula’s water coffin, the mermaid queen was gratified and showered her with gifts beyond her wildest dreams. There was fresh mermaid meals made up of sparkle and glitter and mermaid earrings that glistened in the light but it was the simple Pusheen mermaid cup that sparked Jasmine’s interest the most. You see it was no ordinary mug; Pusheen was Ursula’s long lost cat, who had been taken from her by the jealous sea urchins who had cast a spell, 1,000 years ago. When he had been alive, he was her constant ‘Mer-cat’ companion, and was as playful as a kitten who had found a ball of string. She would paint portraits of him and marvel at his beauty, but the sea urchins destroyed all evidence of Pusheen’s existence. Except they forgot one thing, the mug, which had been hidden by Ursula who cloaked it with a powerful invisibility spell, so that the sea urchins couldn’t take her Pusheen away from her. She never found Pusheen when she came onto land and Jasmine was surprised at the gift knowing how attached Ursula had been.
Jasmine begged Ursula to keep her one last reminder of Pusheen but to her surprise Ursula stated that if she ever wanted to make it as a mermaid on dry land, she needed to let go of all ties to the past. After all how could she live the rest of her life, if she was grieving her past? She needed to move on but know that the Pusheen mug would be in good hands. And it was, Jasmine treasured her mug with the care of a parent cradling a new born child.
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4. Mermaid Comfort Blanket
Ursula had settled into her life as a mermaid-turned human, and while she found the human world to be alien and strange, she loved the freedom that came with being her own person. No jealous sea urchins, no magic witches, no water coffins to drag her into. The one thing that Ursula had missed the most was her beloved Mer-cat Pusheen but she had given her Pusheen mug to Jasmine so that she could move on and become a ‘true human’. But nevertheless despite Ursala’s pretenses she still felt lost without her mermaids tail and a part of her craved a way to recreate her existence as a mermaid on land. She rang up Jasmine, the woman who had saved her from her water coffin slumber and Jasmine knew exactly what to do; within 15 minutes she had parked up her car and came with a bundle of gifts to make Ursula feel like she was in her Mermaid Kingdom once more. But the most touching gift of all was the mermaid comfort blanket that made her feel like she didn’t have to forgo her mermaid identity, because it would always be a part of her. It was soft, softer than her own mermaids tail had ever been and for the first time since she had been on land, she dreamed a dreamless sleep, un-plagued by the nightmares of her past, she felt content at last.
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5. Barbie Mermaid Wash Bag
When Ursula was still a mermaid, she and Mer-Barbie had been good friends. When they were young children they were like naughty school children giggling in class, egging each other on with silly jokes and pranks. But then their mer-teachers were replaced by the Sea Urchins who took their kingdom away from them with one grand flourish and all happiness had dissipated into nothingness. The kingdom was divided and Mer-Barbie was forced onto the opposite team, forced to be hateful torwards Ursula her friend. It was a trying time and when Ursula’s parents were killed by the Sea Urchins- because as royalty, Ursula’s family threatened their very existence- Ursula’s world became devoid of colour. And then she found out that it was Barbie’s parents- Ken and Cindy- who had done the deed. She could never look at her friend the same way and pictured the blood stained on her hands. It was a gruesome thought to stomach and she never saw her friend again. She thought Mer-Barbie to be dead after the Cold Mermaid War, when the Barbies , Sea Urchins and Mermaids had been pitted against her and when she became a human, Ursula barely gave Barbie a thought.
But then browsing the stores online, she saw Mer-Barbie for the first time in over 1,000 years on branded merchandises. She was on films, shows, food, tolietries and more and she was baffled. Could she really be alive and livin on land after all this time. There was only one way to find out and as she placed an order for a Barbie Mermaid Wash Bag, she sent a note, explaining who she was and where to find her. With a knock on the door the next day, she found Mer-Barbie with tears in her eyes, as she saw her friend once more. Tell me everything Ursula cried.
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6. Mermaid Make Up Brushes
As time went on, Ursula only played at being a mermaid at night but then before her very own eyes something miracolous happened. The human world, unaware that she was once a mermaid, became obsessed with the idea of ‘playing at being a mermaid’ to escape from the grim realities that their lives were often centered around. There was colourful make up and bags galore and she smiled to herself as she hugged her secret to herself. Noone but Jasmine, Mer-Barbie and her unnamed lover knew about her mermaid past, but she would have a lot of fun tapping into a ‘mermaid fantasy’ that she was actually already a part of. She set about creating her own make up brushes, that drew parallels with the vivid colour of the ocean and the secret kingdom that lived beneath it. She would fashion brushes out of cruelty free materials and use colours like red, purple, green and blue all merged together in one spectacular package. The world went crazy for her brushes and she knew that she had created the start of something bold and new. But what could she make next, to create a Mer-Kingdom on land?
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7. The Mermaid Lipstick
Ursula was riding high on the success of her ‘Mermaid Make Up Brushes Launch’ and was brainstorming ways that she could replicate the success of her previous venture and then it came to her. Why not create a mermaid lipstick range that was cruelty free, vegan and animal friendly? She would create colourful unexpected colours like purple, green and blue and bring some colour into her world. She knew it would be magical and she spent years perfecting her formula, working with other cruelty free brands to bring her goodies into the world. Jasmine became her muse, she was colourful and saw beauty in color so what could be a better face for her brand than Jasmine? After all she had more than just her life to thank Jasmine for and she was deeply indebted to her for the rest of her short human life. Her favourite was the blue violet, but she saw popularity in her ochre, pumpkin and serpent colours, especially during the festive season when the humans around her was forever playing dress up. It made her smile and the world around her smiled too.
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8. Mermaid Stickers
Jasmine was on a flight to Greece, when she noticed the kid next to her gently peeling stickers in placing them in his carefully constructed notebook that had become a shrine to all things fantasy. There were unicorns next to centaurs and mermaids next to trolls, who all danced together in perfect harmony. She remembered how peaceful it was to be a kid, when the only thing she had to worry about was whether she had the latest toys, but these stickers were something else. She almost felt guilty as she sat there typing notes on her laptop, because seeing the boy become so entranced with something as simple as stickers reminded her, how attached she was to technology. The boy was like a breath of fresh air and she put away her computer and turned to her companion. Clearing her throat she asked whether she might be able to join in and the boy’s mum smiled at her. Together they spent a wondrous hour creating stories through stickers and restored, she left the plane with hope in her mind. She vowed to do something about her technology obsession and take time out to enjoy the simpler pleasures in life. And it was the best decision that she could have ever made.
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9. Mermaid Phone Case
Ursula’s plan to bring her Mermaid Kingdom on land had come to life and she relished how her ‘human home’ reminded her of her mermaid past. For years customers saw her as an eccentric beautiful woman who harnessed the wild beauty of a mermaid so flawlessly through her brand ‘Mermaids Forever’. But little did they know that she was once a mermaid, a Princess of the seas, who until Jasmine had found her, had been destined to lay dormant in the mermaid coffin forever. It was a sobering thought, remembering her past and while in the beginning she aimed to erase her mermaid past entirely, today she was more wiser and more mature and realized that her difficult past had shaped her into the successful business woman that she was today. After all, nothing could prepare her for the obstacles of running her own Mermaid brand than a past embittered with war, jealous sea urchins and magic. She knew from frequent visits to Jasmine, that the mortal world was obsessed with technology, so it seemed only fitting that she give them phone cases to transport them into her lost world.
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10. MTV X Skinny Dip Mini Mermaid Backpack
Jasmine was fond of her former mermaid-turned human companion and loved their late night chats that would seep into the early hours of the morning. Sometimes they would talk about the world around them, that despite being laced with war and strife had fleeting moments of joy, that would burst through like a glorious ray of sunshine and would envelop them in warm light. Then there were the chats around Ursula’s business and her vision for a brighter, mermaid future. She was the last one standing and as far as she knew she was the only full blooded mermaid to have survived, as Mer-Barbie was only a half-breed. It fascinated Jasmine to hear how Ursula could still remember her past, when she had been asleep for so long but it only made Jasmine long to make her friend’s Mermaid vision come to life on land. The bags were added next to the line and its holographic beauty dazzled in the light. They pictured who would wear this. They would be bold, they would be confident and above all they would be authentic. There was no time for b***s**t in their minds and they wanted their bags to be a symbol of ‘mermaid liberation. And it was.
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11.The Mermaid Tail Earrings
Up until now, Ursula’s secret lover was unknown to all. She never spoke about them, she never even mentioned that she was seeing someone. You see Ursula’s involvement in the cold war was a little more ‘involved’ than she liked to admit. Despite how the sea urchins had treated her and her family, despite that they had forced Mer-Barbie’s parents Ken and Cindy to kill her parents she had fallen in love… with a sea urchin. She thought they were different, they showered her with love, brought her presents, shielded her from the sea urchins who had tried to kill her too. They would promise what they could do together when the war was over and convinced her to not avenge her parents death. They were thirty years older than she, but she was too blinded by love to see the treacherous game that they were playing. She was just a young Mermaid Princess, who thought she had found her soulmate and when she realized what had happened it was too late to escape. You see that sea urchin was part of the Urchin Mafia and they knew that the young mermaid would never back down, unless she was tricked into doing so. The Urchin tricked her into falling in love with them and when she found out what they had done, they cast a spell on her and locked her in a water coffin so that they could reign the seas forever.
When she was rescued by Jasmine, there were no sea urchins left and she wondered what happened. Had they finally been overthrown when she was in slumber? She took care to guard her heart when she was on land and promised not to fall in love, so she took a human lover for sexual gratification that left them both mutually satisfied. But with time, lust turned to love and she found herself falling for them. She told them about the sea urchin and what they did to her, how they took advantage of her and they replied ‘I know’. With a quick flourish they presented ‘mermaid tail earrings’ and told her they too was part of the mermaid kingdom and unbeknownst to her, had been watching from afar. It was they who had planted the idea in Jasmine’s head to go looking for Ursula and it was they who convinced Nemo and Dory to help Jasmine get through the Mermaid Kingdom without being detected. Now she knew this was what true love was.
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12. Mermaid Nail Polish
After working a business for the last three years since she was rescued from her water coffin, Ursula craved a break and who better to spend it with than with her best friend Jasmine? Jasmine suggested that they go for a cruelty free spa day and get their nails done, while they gossiped about life and besides wasn’t it about time that Ursula told Jasmine about her secret lover? After all she was in love and now she knew the truth, so it was time to tell her best friend all about it.As they relaxed in the jacuzzi after their ‘mermaid nails’ had dried, Ursula took a deep breath and told Jasmine everything. Jasmine smiled and told her ‘I know’ and Ursula was taken back in shock. You see Jasmine was friends with the ‘lover’ after they helped Jasmine find Ursula and it was Jasmine who had rescued them from their own water coffin. They too had been cast under a spell by the sea urchins and the spell was only broken when the sea urchins had been banished by Jasmine herself. Because she was no ordinary human, in fact she was a rare breed who was able to shape shift into a water unicorn when she pleased. She combed the seas as a water unicorn freely, until she saw the sea urchins fighting the Mer-Barbie’s and Mermaids and knew she had to put an end to this war.
She was the only one of her kind and the sea urchins became slack under her gaze, as she hypnotized them. Once she had put the command in their minds to leave the ‘Mer Kingdom’ and find their own land, she was free once more to explore as she pleased. But when she came across a water coffin, she was surprised at what she found in it. It was another water unicorn like her, who had the ability to shape shift and take on any gender or guise that it desired. When they were freed and shown the riches of the human land, they knew that Jasmine had to find their Ursula, before the seas would close to them forever.
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13. Mermaid Sequin Dress
Ursula now knew the truth about her lover and Jasmine and was determined to stop hiding away from her past and share their stories with the world. She would design a party so opulent that it would scream ‘mermaid grandeur’ and set about roping them in to help her make their grand debuts one for the ages. The excitement coursed through her body like an electric shock and she felt energized by what this party could do to change the world. When they knew who this trio really was, would they shun them or would they welcome them with open arms? Only time would tell. But she needed a dress that would ooze mermaid opulence and make her look like she was dripping in silver. She wore silver to commemorate the shape shifting water unicorns aka Jasmine and her lover and they wore green sequins as reverence to her past mermaid life. With one swoop she let the world into their worlds and instead of the negative reaction she had been expecting, they were excitable, ecstatic that their folklore’s and myths were actually true stories. And when the Mermaid Queen had taken her last breath and the water unicorns had fallen asleep with her, they turned her home into a museum, and fans worldwide would come and pay their tributes to the beautiful Mermaid Queen and her Unicorn companions.
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What Is On Your Mermaid Wish List?
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