When it comes to a hearty ‘Novelty Christmas Gift Guide’ , I struggled to find a post that was as ‘weird and wonderful’ as my own tastes required. I longed for unicorns and mermaids dancing in unison to the beat of the waves crashing upon a sandy shore and I craved a welcome escape from the ‘yuppy sub-culture’ of ‘city life’. I wanted to slurp slush puppies in the heart of winter, where I would picture myself to be somewhere so far removed from urbanization. I imagined me snacking on cheese and gulping down champagne cocktails, while fluffy slippers danced by my bed clamoring to get my attention. But most of all I dreamed of a world where winter ceased to exist, where anything was possible if we just let our dreams run wild. You see if you knew me in ‘real life’ you would know that I am somewhat of an ‘oddball’ and have been described -quite lovingly I hope- as weird as f**k, so naturally a ‘Novelty Christmas Gift Guide’ would be first on my ‘Christmas blog post list’. From bear claw slippers to you guessed it a real life ‘slush puppy maker’ thanks to Prezzybox my Novelty Christmas Guide Wishlist is complete!
Find out below what ‘novelty Christmas Gifts’ you should be gifting your weird and wonderful friends and family…
- Beauty And The Beast Chip Mug
Remember when Primark released their own range of ‘Beauty and The Beast Novelty Items’ and the whole world went crazy? In fact I distinctly remember a certain someone rushing into Primark-aka ME- to grab a ‘Beauty And The Beast Chip Purse’ only to find that some other fanatic had grabbed the last purse and was clutching on to it for dear life as she raced towards the till with a smug yet panicked look on her face. And I don’t blame her , I was ready to fight her for that Chip purse, but sadly that love affair was cut short.
As someone who is a huge fan of ‘Beauty and The Beast’, especially Belle’s characterization as the strong, intelligent Princess who shows compassion and forgiveness, a ‘Beauty and The Beast Chip Mug’ was the ‘cup of dreams’. And in a weird way, despite ‘Chip’ being a fictional character, I saw so much of who I once was through him. Chip was shy yet plucky and as the son of Mrs Potts, when he was transformed into a ‘cup’ he learned how to be adventurous, helpful and above all showed that he put other ‘people’s wellbeing’ above his own, especially when he helped Belle escape from the ‘castle’. Considering that Chip was only a ‘little boy’ trapped in a ‘cup’, he demonstrated some very grown up and admirable qualities that even we as adults could learn from at times. But enough waffling on about ‘Beauty and The Beast’, I was drawn to the cup for obvious reasons but also because ‘tea drinking is part of my daily ritual and routine’. From herbal teas like ginger and lemon, to decaf tea, while many know me as a ‘Decaf coffee’ drinker, there is plenty of room in my heart for good ol’ tea drinking.
Buy The Beauty And The Beast Chip Mug Here
2. The Unicorn Shower Cap
As someone who describes herself as a ‘part time mermaid’ and ‘occasional unicorn’ it’s no wonder I haven’t found a merman unicorn to sweep me off my feet. But despite my ‘lack of a love life’ and a strong conviction that I am going to end up as a proud owner of 200 imaginary pugs and cats, I know that my ‘unicorn’ will never leave my side. Mainly because he is imaginary, but hey a girl can only dream right? But as usual I am waffling on; as someone who sees the humble shower as the HOLY GRAIL OF ME TIME-and not that kind of Me Time, get your mind out of the gutter- a unicorn shower cap seemed like the obvious choice for someone as obviously weird as me. And i’m not the only one, I happened to stumble upon ‘unicorn fan pages’ dedicated to this beautiful mythical creature and it made me smile. After all when half of London dressed up as a ‘dead unicorn’ for Halloween, it seems like a smart move to declare 2017 as ‘the year of the unicorn’ so amen unicorn God, for bringing us unicorns on earth.
And believe me, this will not be the last mention of unicorns either. In fact just scrolling through my must have Novelty Christmas Gift Guide, 4 out of the 13 gift options for novelty lovers are centered around unicorns. Oops #sorrynotsorry. Maybe I should create a ‘Christmas Gift Guide For Unicorn Lovers’? Now that would be a uni-tastic idea!
Shop The Unicorn Shower Cap Here
3.The Unicorn Powerbank
If you don’t like unicorns then get out of my life immediately because its about to get ‘unicorn cray up in here’. And when I say unicorn cray I mean that I am going to be making those unicorns rain until Santa Claus comes round my house and locks me up for crimes against humanity. But secretly Santa will be locking me up because he wants all my beautiful unicorns for himself and hasn’t understood the concept of sharing just yet. I can picture it now, Santa stealing my unicorns and using them instead of reindeer to deliver presents to children… But enough about Santa and his so called obsession with my unicorns, meet the charger that is about to change your life forever, all hail the ‘Forever Boy’ aka ‘The Unicorn Powerbank’. Unlike a f**kboy he will never go dallying with other unicorns nor is he dispensable like those hot summer flings in Malibu, instead this Forever Boy will stay hooked up to your phone like a magical man that has been plucked out of fantasy land.
And unlike most men who can sneak out whenever they like, this ‘Forever Boy’ will stay by your side no matter what, because it knows that you will freaking lose your mind if your phone ever dares to run out of battery. Trust me, we have all been there, I remember going to events all day and forgetting to bring my charger, I felt like my life was over LOL. And I couldn’t even photograph the beautiful food that we had for dinner. It was an absolute tragedy. Well no more, thanks to the new love in my life, aka The Unicorn Power Bank, I am free to take as many pictures of my dinner as I want!
As the Unicorn Powerbank Is Now Out Of Stock Shop The Cute ASF Pom Pom Powerbank Here
4. Iris The Unicorn Travel Mug
As we enter the ‘unicorn world’ of make believe, we set aside our negative influences and breathe in the air of a world not yet polluted by hatred and war. All is calm here, all is tranquil and the unicorns hand you unicorn onesies that you must wear to enter their land. You spot an appropriately named ‘Unicorn cafe’ and step inside marveling at the colourful decor that screams colour and fun. They hand you a ‘Travel Mug’ that they exclaim you must take along for your journey back home and tell you to take a seat, while they tell you about the Queen of Unicorns that they call ‘Iris’. Iris was born in ‘Blue River’, South West of Unicorn Metropolis, where you are currently at, to the royal unicorn family, who raised her to be the Queen of the Unicorn Kingdom and to govern her fellow unicorns with kindness and respect.
Iris grew up learning about the wars and crimes that humans had committed and longed to create a world where negativity would cease to exist. But despite the wars and destruction, she saw a good side to humanity too. She saw how the poor would help others, without thinking of themselves, she saw children teaching their parents about the difference between right and wrong and she saw solidarity, even when the worlds around them were falling apart. Most of all she was inspired by their compassion and forgiveness to create a world centered around hope and love. We smile in the face of love and as you tuck the unicorn travel mug into your backpack, you promise to bring back the joy from the Unicorn Kingdom and sprinkle a dose of colour into your colourless human world…
Shop The Unicorn Travel Mug Here
5. The Unicorn Mug
*I promise this is the last unicorn related item on my list but seriously you can’t have a Novelty Christmas Gift Guide without a unicorn… or four.
As you make your way home from the Unicorn Kingdom, you smile as you realize that although you had to leave your unicorn onesies behind, the kind Unicorn in the ‘Unicorn Cafe’ gave you a little something to remember them by. As if it wasn’t enough to give you the Unicorn Travel Mug’ in tribute to Iris the ‘Unicorn Queen’, they thought that the ‘baby unicorn mug’ would be the cute novelty item to drink tea, coffee and even some creamy hot chocolate that you needed to bat away the winter blues. And who can blame them, as you watch the office suits go by, chained to their phones and briefcases as you enter the real world once more, you hug the secret of the unicorn kingdom to yourself and vow to seek positivity even when the world around you longs to stay in its monotonous state of homogeneity.
Shop The Unicorn Mug Below
6. Oh K! Sweet Peach Scented Detangle Brush
As someone who is the proud owner of the most tangle-ified bushy and wild mane of hair that you could possibly imagine, I am sure that my ‘curly headed’ sisters can only sympathize with the hair nightmares I have on a daily basis. Not only is my hair down to my butt, but if I have it down it looks like I have transformed into a ‘lion’, not to mention I was not even blessed with nice beautiful curls, but the in between hair that can’t even decide whether it is curly or wavy garghh.
So most of the time I just give up with my hair and just plop it into a messy plait, before hiding my hair entirely with a hat, so that people cannot be a witness to the horrendous knotty bush that lies beneath. Which is where ‘detangle brushes’ become a hair hack that you need in your life ASAP. But how on earth was I going to include this genius hair item in a Novelty Christmas Guide? Two Words ‘anime’ and peach; meet the ‘peach scented detangle brush’ courtesy of my faves ‘Prezzybox’, which features a cute peach face and is infused with a delicious peach scent to get those locks smelling like your favourite fruity cocktail. And who isn’t it a fan of hair that smells good enough to eat? So now, instead of ripping my hair out in a bid to free my hair from ‘knots’ my little peach gal has got my back. And what’s her name I hear you ask? Well ‘Peacharina’ of course …
Shop The Peach Detangle Brush Here
7. The Lamb Knitted Booties
Who here is an ‘animal lover’ and loves nothing more than paying homage to their favourite animals without serving them up on their dinner table? If you said yes then congratulations you made it into the ‘Prezzybox X Faded Spring’ Hall of Fame, for your contributions towards a cruelty free ‘animal friendly lifestyle’ because these cute lamb knitted booties are 100 % cruelty free. No wool, no shearling, instead these lamb knitted booties are made from PVC which is this seasons hottest ‘faux leather’ without the need to harm animals. In fact Prezzybox was blessed by the Lamb God himself who claimed that their knitted booties was a great way of bringing animals into fashion without using them to make up the majority of our wardrobe, which of course was fantastic news! And the Lamb God even took some booties home with him to keep his little lamb children at home toasty and warm! You see even little lambies get cold too and what better way to celebrate Christmas than a special homage to the lambs who watched over the manger on Christmas Eve? And that’s coming from someone who is not even religious!
Shop The Lamb Knitted Booties Here
8. The Microwavable Hottie- Cat
Naturally as a ‘self confessed cat lady’ who is already a proud owner of imaginary cats and pugs, it is almost a guaranteed fact that I am going to end up alone. But I have no idea why, I mean who dosen’t want a crazy cat lady on their hands. But no matter, just like my ‘forever boy’ aka the magical unicorn powerbank, this cat shaped hot water bottle will sleep with me even if no one else will LOL. And by that I mean that the ‘Microwavable cat’ will be my ‘little spoon, giving me cuddles in the night when I am feeling cold and blue. Not only is it pink-which next to blue is my joint favourite colour- but it is also scented with lavender and guaranteed to transform nightmares into blissful dreams that I would actually like to remember! So if cats are your thing and you’re in search of a ‘little spoon’ to keep you warm at night then microwavable cats are totally a thing! #yourwelcome.
Shop The Hottie Cat Here
9. The Pusheen Teapot And Mug
And speaking of cats, why settle for one cat themed novelty gift when you can have TWO. From serving you tea late at night to social gatherings Pusheen is ready to take your tea game to the next level. While most might be drinking tea with their chums, while they daintily make their way through afternoon tea, there is me, ripping into buttery toast like a heathen. And they say that the ‘posh ones’ have good table manners, clearly not in my case LOL. But back to my good pal Pusheen, who knows me all too well. While everyone else is sleeping, there is at 3 AM pulling out my best Hip Hop moves, making said buttery toast, while I pop the kettle on and make tea in my basic ASF mug. Well not any more, because my kitchen is about to get Pusheen-ified, starting with a teapot and mug. Plus how did it know that my favourite colour was blue? See I told you that me and Pusheen were friends!
Shop The Pusheen Teapot And Mug Here
10. Afternoon Tea Spa Day For Two At Greenwoods Hotel And Spa
What could be better than afternoon tea I hear you ask? Well thankfully Mama Jasmine is here to answer your prayers and she brought us a magnificent Christmas present! Queue Afternoon Tea and A Spa Day in a 17th Century Manor: feast your eyes on more cakes that you would have at Christmas, with clotted cream, pastries, cakes and tea to get you in the mood, while you drink in the surroundings of the pretty Essex Village Stock. And if that is not fabulous enough as it is then throw in complimentary use of the spa facilities;submerge yourself in the indoor pool, sigh in ecstasy in the bubbling Jacuzzi and open your pores with the steam room and sauna. Now how’s that for a Christmas present? And if you if noone buys you a gift card you could always treat yourself! Just saying!
Buy The Afternoon Tea Spa Day For Two At Greenwoods Hotel And Spa Here
11. The Goats Cheese Making Kit
Have you ever fancied yourself a farmer and set up shrines to cheese in your dreams because they can satisfy you more than any lover ever could? Yeah me neither… Which is a total and utter lie because I have been dreaming about cheese from the day I was born. From goats cheese to brie, I could quite happily just eat cheese for the rest of the life and it seems that I am not the only one. From dreaming about eating mountainous supplies of mac and cheese to lusting after an ‘all you can eat cheese restaurant’ when it comes to life, it is clear that I have got my priorities ironed out. But why goats cheese I hear you ask? Well as someone who actually does come from a farming background- my grandparents were Farmers in Madeira, a Portuguese island- it only seems natural that I should make my cheese making dreams come true and you can too! Imagine infinity goats cheese becoming yours within two hours and imagine the horror on your roommates face as they realize that there fridge has been taken over by good ol’ Goats Cheese. Now instead of having nightmares about eating chicken- I’m a vegetarian that is definitely my idea of a nightmare- I can dream about goats cheese all night long…
Shop The Goats Cheese Making Kit Here
12. The Bear Claws Slippers
Now I might be a part time mermaid and a unicorn at weekends but even I like to pretend to be something else to keep the fantasy well and truly alive. And what better creature than a bear to scare all those creepy perverts on Tinder away- got a creepy dick pic waiting in your inbox? No problem, simply send them a picture of your gigantic bear claws, hire out a bear costume and smile as they immediately disappear off the face of the earth as they are that scared. Ah bear claws, warding off inappropriate perverts and saving terrible dates from becoming a bust since 1999. Not only are these novelty slippers a hit with the ladies, but they are also ridiculously comfy and warm, even if you find that you trip over them because they are at least a mile long LOL. And if you are on a date that is boring you to tears or are on the verge of a dating disaster simply whip these bad boys out and watch the douche run as fast as the wind. Who said that bears wouldn’t come in handy?
Shop The Bear Claws Slippers Here
13. Three Course Meal And Champagne Cocktails At Gilgamesh
As someone who has been nicknamed the ‘Human Dustbin and Hoover’, it might not come as a surprise to know that I once won a competition for eating the most amount of food in the fastest amount of time. It might have been the happiest moment of my life; you see I’m the kind of gal that eyes your plate hungrily like a mischievous cat hoping that you won’t be able to finish your meal so that I can swipe your leftovers. But enough about me and my greediness, if you are a fan of Pan Asian cuisine and are after something a lil’ different then Gilgamesh is your uncle. Although on second thoughts I hope Gilgamesh is not your uncle because A. he threw his grandson Gilgamos out of the window in an attempt to kill him, B. was a power hungry Demi-God King and C. was buried under a river bed poor sod. But blood thirsty politics aside; if Pan Asian cuisine is kind of your thang then Gilgamesh offers everything from dim sum to stir fry to make your night one to remember. And because eating is what I do best there is a review of the Gilgamesh experience coming soon to theaters near you. So be there or be square.
Shop The Three Course Meal And Champagne Cocktails At Gilgamesh Here
14. The Retro Slush Maker
When I was growing up I used to live near a corner shop that would sell all the sweets of our childhood youth. There were the 30 P sherbet straws and the 10 P Freddos, and of course who can forget the strawberries and cream ‘Chupa Chupa lollies, which as delicious as they all were, they were pretty much guaranteed to rot your teeth. But the ultimate holy grail of all things sugar and well…sugar was the slush puppy maker that would take us from zero to hyper in the space of sixty seconds or less, FACT. From blueberry and raspberry to tropical concoctions that transported me to a beautiful sandy beach in the Caribbean, these were more than just drinks but ‘fantasy portals’. But then commercialization came to our village and small businesses were forced to shut down while supermarkets like Co-Op thrived in their place. But I never forgot them and when I spotted this Retro Slush Maker I knew that I had to make it my beau. But why include it in a novelty Christmas Gift Guide when we are practically in the throes of winter I hear you ask? Well what if I told you that you could even make alcohol slurpies and that they would taste so delicious that you wouldn’t even suspect that they were alcoholic? Ah yes take a seat and grab a ride on the slurpie automobile because its about to get hella crowded up in here…
Unfortunately Santa came early and robbed all the ‘retro slush makers’ but no need to worry as the ‘Slush Puppie Machine is just as cool and retro!
Shop The Slush Puppie Machine Here
What Is Your Favourite Novelty Gift Idea From Prezzybox?
Please note I was sent these items from Prezzybox to include in the Novelty Christmas Gift Guide but this does not affect my thoughts and all opinions are my own. I only feature items that I am passionate about and it is safe to say that I have used every single item on this list. Should you have any queries about my disclaimer policy or are interested in working with my brand Faded Spring please email me using the contact form provided.
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