I was 15 when I first rode a bike and while it might seem like quite a late age to have picked up cycling, I was proud that I had finally learned to ride a bike. As a kid I would learn with stabilizers but somehow ‘never got round’ to learning to ride. It might be because in the middle of my transition into cycling I was abused and bullied, which made me forget everything I had learned and when it came to a Year Six ‘cycling proficiency test’ I was one of the few ones to sit out the test, because I didn’t know how to ride a bike. Then again cycling wasn’t the only form of sport or exercise that I had learned late, swimming too, which I learned by the age of 13-14. But I digress; between the ages of 10-16 my foster mum would take me down the caravan with her to the beautiful village of West Wittering, near Chichester in Sussex and while most residents cycled everywhere, I walked with my baby foster sister and her buggy in tow.
My foster mum had a friend called P who was so charming and all the residents loved her. When I turned 15, she offered to teach me how to ride a bike and within 30 minutes I learned how to cycle. It was so crazy because I spent so much time being afraid of ‘riding a bike’ that I would balk whenever anyone would dare suggest it to me and all for nothing too. My issue is that I am often my own worst critic and being scared of ‘failure’ or getting laughed at made me feel vulnerable and scared. I needn’t have worried and within half an hour I was cruising around the park on a battered bike and I felt freedom. The wind was whipping through my hair and I felt giddy as I took my first leaps into the cycling world. But the newfound love for cycling was short lived and after a few rides afterwards, I have not touched another bike since.
They say that once you learn to ride a bike you never forget but there is still some part of me that is a little freaked about riding a bike again. I know I am being silly but as a result of my anxiety and depression disorders, I often find it difficult to ‘re-visit’ things that I have might have ‘failed at’ in the past, because I am scared of the same outcome. Which is why when Brompton challenged me to share my cycling story, writing my childhood narrative made me realize that if I can do it once then who the hell says I can’t do it again? After all once a warrior always a warrior right? Besides being able to challenge yourself, especially with an anxiety disorder will show me how much I loved cycling back then and how much it can be part of my life right now. In one way it would save money on transport; I spend over £150 on travel each month and being able to cycle to work would not only save me a few extra pennies but it would also ensure that I get exercise too.
While I work long hours, much of my work does not involve ‘active movement’ i.e. running, although I do a lot of walking. If I had a bike of my own, it might actually push me to do a more exciting form of exercise that dosent involve just lifting weights in the gym. When it comes to keeping fit I not only want to test my physical limitations but I also want to boost my self confidence as well as learning how to be kind to myself with a good self-care routine. I know that I am admittedly lax when it comes to exercise and while I might ‘appear’ active, I do spend a lot of hours typing in front of a computer screen which is never good for your posture and activity levels. Having signed myself up to some ‘personal training’ sessions – watch this space- I feel like the next step is to get out there and confront my fears head on. After all if I can combat depression, anxiety and an abusive past then who says I can’t get back on that active grind? Roller Derby and Yoga might have been something I had tried in the past but now I have my eyes firmly set on the cycling prize?
Are You An Avid Cyclist? If So What Is It About Cycling That Makes You Feel Happy?
*Disclosure
Please note this is a collaborative post with lightweight bike specialist Brompton who challenged me to put forward either a cycling wishlist or a story centered around exercise and cycling.
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I love casual cycling but I could never do it around central London. I think I’d be a bit of a nervous cycler!
While I’m not an avid cyclist, it’s something I’ve been doing since I was a kid. Growing up on our family farm, my best friend lived two miles away and then only way to get to her house was on my bike. I’d so love to know the number of miles I peddled over all of those years. Now, I ride my bike mostly for fun or to the grocery if I only need a few things. We live in a college town, so it’s a luxury to have lots of trails and big sidewalks.
Wishing you the best of luck with the cycling.
I haven’t ridden a bike for about 20 years…I would love to give it another go though x
#MMBC
I still can’t cycle 😂 Wish I could but I managed to forget. Maybe I’m like you and probably still know how but am too scared. We just need to get out there and get it over and done with!
Hardly makes a difference that you learn cycling at 5 or at 13. Though I learnt at around6 years, I was crazy and went 50% of my schooling days riding cycle all by myself with friends. It was actually a fun time I remember. Great that you overcame the fear of biking.