Being kind to myself was something that I struggled with for most of my life, I had negative thoughts daily and struggled to see that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I was bullied, abused and abandoned and used to think that there would be no way out of the vicious cycle but there was and I found a way out. But still the negativity remained and despite my accomplishments there would always be something that I would criticize, because I never believed that I was good enough. When it came to dealing with rejection I was a novice and saw it as a ‘failure’ rather than something I could progress from and when I made a mistake I was angry at myself for falling down. As humans we are not conditioned to be perfect, yet somehow we are all on a constant quest to achieve perfection, which quite frankly doesn’t exist. I know that now but for so long I saw mistakes or set backs as ‘failure’. Self-care was never something I was invested in either; when you are suffering from depression or other anxiety disorders, scheduling time to focus on yourself is nonexistent because you are worried that you wont have enough time in the day to complete your tasks. For me its the choice between a ‘relaxing’ bath and a ‘quick’ shower, where 9 times out of 10 I will choose the shower because A. it is more convenient and B. frees up more time to ‘work.
Essentially we are working ourselves into the ground and our inability to stick to a simple self-care schedule can leave us feeling ‘burnt out’, ‘irritable’ and often ’emotional too’. I can’t remember the last time I had three meals a day and the last time I got eight hours sleep was pre-insomnia, 8 years ago. I work into the early hours of the morning to hit deadlines and roll groggily out of my bed each morning, still half-asleep as I run out the door. The negative impact of being ‘unkind to ourselves’ does not just affect the mind but our bodies too. We feel the aches and pains from our daily lives and have migraines from staring at our screens too long. While the negative consequences are scary, it dosent have to be. 2017 is a time of change, we have all embraced new beginnings and for me that was a new house, new career and new outlook on life. I was miserable in my previous home and it had a damaging effect on my self-esteem, mental and physical health. But already in my new place I feel free and have vowed to spend more time learning to be kind to myself.
How To Be Kind To Yourself
Treat Yourself To ‘Me Time’
I rarely carve out time dedicated to myself but when I work long days for little compensation, I am often left feeling drained. Yet despite feeling like s**t it is very rare that I address my needs, leading me to over-work, over-stress and be obsessive about working until I quite literally ‘drop’. Whether you treat yourself to ‘me time’ through a bubble bath or creating a beauty routine, make sure your me-time is dedicated to helping you ‘feel good’ about yourself.
Me-Time Ideas
- Run yourself a nice bubble bath using your favourite Lush products and sink into a well of much needed relaxation. Turn off all devices and leave them outside of the bathroom, to completely put your mind at ease. Allow at least 20 minutes of un-interrupted solitude before leaving your safe holistic haven
- Create A New Beauty Routine, using products that you might not have necessarily used before, to make it a ‘real treat’. Whether that be through incorporating a rejuvenating toner or finding a new nourishing cream from Neal’s Yard , find the time to pamper your skin and reward it for all its hard work. After all even if you don’t catch your forty winks, your skin will still look fresh as a daisy.
- Forget ‘Neflix and Chill’ me time is all about solo play; binge watch your favourite TV shows and turn off any other gadgets and devices as concentrating on too many things at once will stop you from being truly kind to yourself.
Eat Well VS Sleep Well
I will be the first to admit that my eating habits are unhealthy and I don’t dedicate enough time to getting a good nights sleep. I love to eat, always have and always will yet previous living situations have prevented me from eating three meals a day and this had a negative impact on my energy levels as well as my emotional state of mind. Now I am not saying that I am suddenly going to go on a clean eating diet because that would potentially be harmful to my already fragile stomach but what I do want to do is try and eat three meals a day. I always say that I can’t eat breakfast because its too early in the morning to ‘eat’ when I go to work but even having a banana can help give me the kickstart that I need to get through the day.We have all abused our bodies at some point and in many scenarios we don’t even realize that we are being unkind to our bodies. I was very sick during my third year at university and was unable to have foods that were too spicy, creamy, fatty or contained a lot of acids. To be quite honest though, every meal that I ate was unable to be digested and I spent a great part of my day throwing up. This caused my stomach to shrink and although I can have the food groups mentioned above in moderation now, prolonged periods of not being able to eat at set times in the day has meant that my stomach is still rejecting said food groups.
Partially caused by extreme stress, my sickness in third year has cropped up several times since moving to London which leads me onto my next point. Eating well can improve your quality of sleep, and more sleep=a happier you. Not only can sleeping well improve your mental health but it can also help you look and feel good. Your productivity levels will increase, you will feel happier and most of all sleep will allow you to get more s**t done. Learning to be kind to ourselves is something we all struggle with but even if it takes you 5 weeks or a year, improving wellness in 2017 will help you be the best version of yourself that you could possibly be.
What Are Your Tips For Improving Your Wellbeing In 2017?
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A nice long hot soak does wonders for the soul and even at a weekend a good disco nap x
Self-care is so very important, we all need to be mindful to be kind to ourselves. Too much work and stress and not taking care of ourselves will be detrimental to our health. I have been guilty of pushing myself too hard, so I need to slow down and listen to what my body tells me and take care of myself.
I could not agree more, I can’t even remember the last time I had a “me” time. Taking time for yourself is essential, especially with all stresses that comes with living in London. x
I do love to take a nice long bath when I can. I also love to make time for exercising as I always feel better after a long run x
This is all so true, recently we have made more of an effort to have some ‘time out’, just to recharge our batteries and it really does help. We do all need to think of ourselves a bit more x
“Me time” is so important, and many of us with our busy lives forget about it. Unfortunately “me time” is the very first thing we as humans forget about. I agree with you with the long baths, I feel as if long baths, with essential oils and incense works for me. I try to do it at least twice a week. Unfortunately I cannot do it more than two times a week because 5 minute showers are the norm in this busy world with pre-medical school and work.
Yes finding time to relax and chill out is becoming more of a luxury these days for most people. The craziness of life and technology sometimes can have a very negative effect on out bodies and minds. Great dress by the way…
being mum to so many i need to try taking time to be kind to myself more i dont thinki do often enough x
Being kind to ourselves can be such a process but it’s so necessary! I too struggle with eating well and sleeping well. I’m going to try and make it a priority.
Self-care and being kind to myself is something that I really struggle with. This is the second blog post I’ve read today which highlights this, and I really must do something about it. As a side comment, your dress is gorgeous x
I would add to forgive yourself, especially for anything in the past that is hard to let go of. Forgive yourself for staying in a relationship longer than you should have. Forgive yourself for not knowing how important sleep it for your well being. Forgive yourself for whatever it is you think you ‘should’ have known or done better.
Forgiving myself and realizing that I am human and beautifully flawed has made such a difference in my life.
I still have trouble being kind to myself and I’m about to turn thirty. I think it has something to do with not being in control of every aspect of my own life.
I firmly believe that in order to be kind to others we need to be kind to ourselves first. If we’re running on low we have nothing left to give.
I love this post so much. How right you are. I’m the same, I’ve always been hard on myself with negative thoughts. Great tips on how to be kinder to ourselves, I love having a nice hot relaxing bath.
My tips for well being is “My Time” It could be going for a walk, shopping or just sitting back relaxing watching a movie. I am glad you now believe in yourself with all you went through.
My wellbeing tips would be to spend at least one day a week in nature. I am trying to do it myself because recently I’ve moved into a flat next to a main road. I love it here, but sometimes you just need to breathe in sea air or stroll through the countryside.
How I loved your post. 2017 has been a year of focusing on self care for myself as well. I’ve discovered it’s the littlest things that can go an awfully long way. I wish I would have started at your age. My twenty year old body was far more forgiving than the one I have today! Cheers to bubble baths and kindness toward the woman in the mirror
I totally understand you. For some people taking care of themselves is so easy and for other (like you and me) is a struggle, but yet important and it’s good to create healthy habits x
I have to remind myself that choosing to have a ‘me’ time is essential to my mental health. I feel great when I do something relaxing even once in a week. I like to visit friends whenever I can.
I always make sure I make time for myself. If I don’t, stress builds up and I become too anxious. It’s always good to be kind to yourself by giving yourself some space to rejuvenate.
Haha I wanted to pack up my laptop nd go home and have some of that Lush bubble bath when I was reading the me time ideas!
Totally, it’s so important to have ‘me’ time and to learn to relax and not forget we’re people with needs too, not machines.
I love this post. I definitely do not take care of myself as well as I should. xx
Great post. I like to have some me time a lot. Life is just too busy.
Love a good long soak in a Lush bubble bath! Loved this post. I am trying to be a lot kinder to myself too. It’s really important!
What a great post. I think sometimes people forget just how easy it is to be Kind to others!
Sleep is a biggie for me too. I need to get myself to bed earlier otherwise it catches up with me and I end up over-eating as you produce a hormone which makes you hungry!
Learning to relax and having some “me-time” is essential for people like me – workaholic, suffering from panic attacks, working looong hours, blogging etc. Well, my “me-time” usually means watching one of my favorite TV shows on DVD late at night or reading a book. It’s not easy to find time for me, but I’ve learned the hard way that it’s necessary.
My diet is extremely good, but sleep can be a bit hit and miss… my youngest doesn’t sleep well. It is very important that take time for me though, so I practise yoga 4 – 6 times a week and meditate regularly. I try to spend a lot of time outside and in natural settings as well.
Looking after yourself and having me time is so important I like to relax with a good book or enjoy a bubble bath.
giving a “me-time” to yourself is a must, and there is no “too much” for me-time. We all should learn how to love and take care of ourselves first.
Me time is something I haven’t really given myself for a long time, and not just since my daughter was born, but before that as well… My wife is the same… We do need to just shut down at some point, and get ourselves back on track…
I try to have a relaxing bath once every 2 weeks or so to just totally relax because I always feel I need it. I do try and make sure I’m in bed by midnight every night and most of the time I manage it x
I love this post I think this is just what I needed a reminder of how to be kind to myself 🙂
My tips for improving my wellbeing for this year are: drink more water, relax more, stop comparing myself with others and get more things done. Take care Ana ^_^
I love the dress it looks amazing, you have such a nice figure!
Your dress is so beautiful, you always look so amazing.
Doesn’t matter how busy you are but self care always matters. Really love to read your article and you always look good.
If I didn’t carve out time for self care my mental health would be in shambles. Something as simple as a nice soak or even taking 5 minutes to listen to your favourite song and singing out loud can do wonders for your mood. x
Self-care and being kind to myself is something most of the people struggle with. Loved the post
I say the same as you, if only there was the time to afford taking an hour bubble bath or eat 3 times a day… I wish I could do this once a week at least. I can feel the effects of my stressful life on my body and mind as well, with constant back pain and losing the ability to be patient…
You always have to take time out and look after yourself. Sometimes it is not always easy. I love to listen to music, it always cheers me up when I am feeling down.
Beautiful outfit Ana, Such a lovely dress and I love your make up 🙂
I crashed and burned coming into this year, so have had to slow right down and I need so much sleep! Kaz
I think we all have negative thoughts about ourselves daily. I’m the same I have so much work I always have a shower instead of a bath. My tips would be drink more water and go to bed earlier.
Me time is so important! As a mum that works shift work and long hours it can be difficult to fit it in and very often when I do I feel guilty for not spending the time with my son but if I didn’t take that time I would be going crazy. Mental health is just as important as physical health… if not more so
Nothing better than nice hot soak in the bath to unwind.
It’s very important to take care of our ownselves. A relaxing bath does wonders for sure and sometimes even a good massage. Wiahing you a great 2017 ahead.
Self care was never important to me until I became a mother. I learned that it’s important to take good care of yourself especially your health if you want to be able to take care of your family. These are great ideas on how to do that better.
It’s so important to look after ourselves, but I’m the same it’s all too easy to forget to do this. I love having a bath but I will frequently have a shower instead because it’s quicker- I’m going to aim to change this starting tonight! Thanks
Self care is so important – love trying to switch off from devices and have a nice bath. If only I could put the baby in chill mode to guarantee a peaceful 10 minutes!
So true! Love this!
Couldn’t agree more! Taking “me” time is so important both mentally and physically. I can be a workaholic so I try to set time where I’m giving myself some pampering.
I can’t literally find myself in your post ! When I was younger I was so negative about everything just because I couldn’t love myself ! Now that I grew up I found a way to accept myself and it was possible because I took time for myself it helped me to understand who I was and what I wanted in life I I could add a tips or advice to your post it would be travelling solo, this is probably the best advise I can give, by travelling by yourself you will learn so much about your own personality 🙂
I think we all need to learn to be kind to ourselves. It’s very easy to be hard and down on ourselves especially with rejection. You look great btw and how are you balancing on that piping lol x
i always find time outs helps me find myself if i ever feel lost. even if i don’t feel lost, its still good to have some beautiful me time
It’s important to be kind to yourself, everyone else does a good enough job tearing us down. We have to forgive ourselves and love ourselves, if we take care of ourselves than we have more to give to those that deserve it
I rarely get any me time as I am always with the kids, ferrying them around etc. I am looking forward to some more time when Sebby goes to school, but part of me is also dreading it too
Self care is so so important. I make a point of having me time once or twice a week and make sure I schedule it in if my week is a busy one. A soak in a hot bubble bath or half an hour with a book does wonders for me.
You are absolutely correct Ana. we must take time out for ourselves in order to remain healthy and sane. This world and our surroundings demand so much of our time and energy. We need some “Me-Time” in order to function properly.
I have two teenage daughters, and I am constantly talking to them about being kind to themselves. They stay up late, they eat at weird times, they stare at screens, they do all the things I really don’t want them to do. But they are old enough to chose their own ways, as much as that pains me. And then there is me, I am hardly the best role model. Can’t do breakfast, because there just isn’t time, don’t do lunch because I don’t feel like it and then dinner gets slotted in as and when I’m not run off my feet. Horrible habits to have. So with all your wise words in mind, it is probably time to make changes. Goodness knows I’m old enough to know better!
It’s so important to value yourself, if you don’t then no-one else will and that’s what I want to teach my children. I treat myself to a bath and a book several times a week.
I really need to learn to take more time for myself. I don’t do it very often
You’re so right. It’s taken me until 40 years old to realise that you need to allow yourself these little kind moments otherwise we’re putting more pressure on ourselves.
It can be so hard to value ourselves enough to take the time out for self-care but it’s so important! I hope you’re managing to be a bit kinder to yourself this year <3
Self care is so important, but something I often overlook. I struggle with anxiety and know I need to look after myself better! Some great ‘me time’ ideas here, I hope you manage to take better care of yourself in 2017 x
This was such a fab post! I am so guilty of not being kind to myself often enough, so I’ll definitely be joining you in doing some of these ideas! 🙂
Ashton xx
Well written, intimate post. One can really relate. Thanks for this, and the wonderful food-for-thought.
#SelfLoveAdvocatesUnite
Great tips, really! Me, I’ve just created a small personal “spa” in my bathroom, with all furniture I love (not useful but beautiful) and have renewed my daily beauty routine with facial exercises and massages. And blogging… that’s what I consider “time for myself”.
Maybe I’ll start yoga… not sure though!
I do something for myself everyday, those are just small things, like exercising, taking a bath, reading a book etc.
I always make sure to have myself a “Me time”. This is for me to reflect more about myself and for the things I have done for the couple of moths and so. It’s my way to ease the stress and feel good more about myself and the environment.
You have strong points on this. Well, I believe we have to set foundation on ourself to be ready for anything. True that we are all different in coping up with ourselves, but only our own self can also resolve our issues.
Excellent post Ana. It is hard to take the time to be kind to ourselves and to think of our own wellness – wife, mother, daughter, career, friend, neighbour – we all have so many roles we have to juggle everyday. It is good to take a breather now and then. And you look great. Keep being kind to yourself. 🙂
Completely agree with you, Ana – Self-care is absolutely important, we can’t care for others until we care for ourselves! Also, some people are always so critical of themselves that they look past all the positives and good in themselves.
xx, Kusum | http://www.sveeteskapes.com
Being kind to ourselves is such an important thing to do. I wish I could find time for more ‘me time’, it’s much needed! That dress is stunning!
This post is lovely but I’m kind of distracted by your amazing dress!
Such an important message, I struggle with anxiety daily so I sometimes need a reminder to prioritise self-care!
When anxiety or depression is hitting me, being kind to myself is one of the hardest things I struggle to do. Absolutely though bubble baths help me a lot but curling up in bed helps me the most.
I definitely need to take more care of myself and me time is a must no matter how busy u are. It so important to be kind to ourselves
Being kind and taking time out for ourselves is so important I always mske sure I have a bit of me time every day.
It’s almost 2 a.m. as I read this. I will have to be back up around 7 … such is the blogger life. It’s all a balance, though. I sleep in more on weekends and don’t always do this. Sometimes, though, there just aren’t enough hours in the day.
We all need a break, short or long, it’s a must! I think it’s important to have these little breaks from time to time and there’s no better way than to pamper ourselves the way we see fit. You have some awesome ideas!
What a nice post! I have plenty of goals to improve my wellbeing this year. I’ve been exercising a lot more and I’ll carry on with that path, I have so much more energy now! I’m also cooking at home as much as possible and trying to remember to drink more water. We’ve also chance the salt we use to a better quality one. We’re planning to get married summer 2018 so I really want to be the best version of myself since then. 🙂
Self care as a phrase seems to have replaced me time and I see why! It’s not selfish at all it’s a very necessary and practical thing, we all need looking after! Great post as always xxx
Being kind to myself and taking care of myself was on my 2017 agenda. I have to admit, I’m not doing very well. It’s always work work work and doggie time. Thanks for the reminder that I too am important and need to be taken care of.
I have some me time when everyone is at school or at work! It’s so important to make time for yourself.
You definitely need to take care of yourself during all of the different times and seasons. Self-care is so important. I also like the fact that you said to step away from multiple devices. It may be hard but I agree that it is necessary.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. It’s kind of sad really. I know personally I’ve had that nagging voice telling me it was my fault things didn’t go as well, but sometimes we just have to learn to ignore it.
I completely agree with you. I struggled with the same issue of not putting myself first. I decided to change that by treating myself to a massage or facial once a week. Endulge in a good book once a month. Still working on healthy eating. Taking it one step at a time.
Thanks for sharing a beautiful article . My English isn’t good enough to understand all but one I like the idea . Eat well and sleep well , I guess this is the most important in life . Eat a good diet will make us sleep well , good diet will help us sleep well . Good diet will reduce our blood pressure .