As someone who has blissfully subscribed to the ‘skinny jean only club’ for most of her life, it was quite a shock to my system to see the world clad in ‘Mom Jeans‘. After all the 80’s jean trend was renowned for being unflattering and the term ‘mom’ was a pejorative , designed to mock those who wore ‘said jeans’. It seems like only yesterday that I was squeezing myself into a pair of skinnies, attempting to not knock the books off my shelf as my arse struggled to be contained in ridiculously tight jeans. I would despair as buttons would pop and crotches would rip but nevertheless my penchant for ‘skinny jeans’ still remained prevalent. But then something happened, I saw a pair of mom jeans that were distressed, with more rips than Yeezy’s clothing line and I fell in love. The jeans were rolled up and the crotch baggy but for some inexplicable reason I was drawn to them from behind the computer screen. Still I was nervous, despite how ‘tall’ I may appear in photos I am only 5 ft 4 (1/2) and jeans that were not fitted had not suited me in the past. I was beginning to think I had lost my mind and had nightmares, envisioning me walking around town looking like I had done a massive shit in my pants and trust me that is a look only toddlers can get away with.
Like a child on Christmas day I counted down the hours until said ‘mom jeans’ would arrive, trying to push away the ‘elephant pants ‘ scenario out of mind. It arrived via post like a knight in shining armor, begging to take first place among all my other jeans. But it had to take the Faded Spring Test first; the rules were simple, don’t look like you have shit your pants, don’t show my arse crack and never ever make me look like I have a camel toe. Well… for a start it was baggier than I was used to and made my legs look shorter than they actually were and an inexplicable bulge rather worryingly made me look like I was packing something a little ‘extra’ if you know what I mean 😉 I was beginning to think that my attempts to look ‘cool’ and on ‘trend’ were proving futile but I needn’t have worried. Turns out if your a little shortie like me then the best solution is to wear ‘heels’ or ‘boots’ to elongate the leg or as I like to call it ‘to stop you looking like your a child who needs adult supervision’. Hashtag #smallgirlproblems, but I digress, finally I managed to be able to wear the ‘mom’ jeans and the tapered, rolled up leg meant that not only did I look a little ‘cooler’ (winning at life) but it was nothing like the 80’s stereotype of being ‘unflattering’ and ‘momified’.
Here is where I take issue though; if for decades we vilified ‘moms’- or mums as we say in the land of tea and scones- then how the hell has this suddenly become popular among teens and tweens? Hell even my 5 year old cousin has a pair and she is most definitely not a mom, even if she thinks her Barbie’s are all her children. I tell you why, because fashion is hypocritical and said age categories i.e. Mum vs ‘granny’ are often typecast in the fashion world as being two ‘trends’ that are most definitely ‘not cool’. The reality is ‘mom jeans’ are cooler than ever and ‘Granny Chic’ is on the way up, so a massive f**k you to ageism. So why are they called ‘mom jeans’, can’t we just call them ‘high waisted jeans’ or ‘jeans that won’t expose your bum to the whole nation’? Yeah on second thoughts maybe stick with mom jeans, but the next time that someone uses ‘mom jeans’ in a pejorative sense, I will kick your ass, mom jeans an’ all!
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