When it comes to getting ‘down and dirty’ in the bedroom, there is nothing more satisfying than a good ol’ bonking session that will give you multiple orgasms for years to come. But here’s the T, what happens when you lose your ‘sexual creativity’? When you have tried every single position known to humankind (thanks Karma Sutra) and even thought that dressing up as a ‘sexy clown’ would help spice things up in the bedroom. And by spice things up I mean send your partner running because he’s terrified of clowns and can’t believe that you would use that against him. Which is where the fruit of my loins come in ; entering the mighty sex toy, proud champion of making women orgasm since 28,000 B.C. or your money back. And if you think I’m joking, I’m not; the delightful prehistoric dildo was polished for ‘her pleasure’ in 28,000 B.C to keep Paleolithic-era couples sensually stimulated. Or even better, in 1869 doctors ordered ‘orgasms’ to treat ‘female hysteria’, with George Taylor, M.D., inventing the steam-powered vibrator to relieve women’s symptoms. And while the doctors note is heavily sexist, one thing is for certain, orgasms are actually a great form of stress relief. Just ask my dildo, he has been relieving my stress since…. what?! You thought I was going to tell you as to when I started dabbling in the art of sex toys? Not a chance mate.
But how can the prehistoric dildo, or the Victorian vibrator help spice up your love life, even when you are a single pringle who is ready to mingle like me? From helping you find your G-spot to improving and increasing foreplay, the sex toy is more than just a Freudian’s wet dream. With dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, anal beads, cock rings and even sex dolls to attend to your every spiritual need and pleasure, is it any wonder that we have so much choice , when we are such horny Mo-fo’s? And by the way if you are offended by my lack of decorum, you should probably stop reading right about now, because this train is going all the way down sex toy central. Question is, how will sex toys spice up your love life?
- Sex Toys Can Bring You Closer To Your Partner On An Emotional And Physical Level
In the words of the great Olivia Newton John, lets get ‘physical, physical’, because life is too short to not have a great sex life. And even if you are not in a relationship and are out there repping the single boys and gals, there is no reason why sex toys can’t get you flinging your kit out the window and dancing around the house naked, while your neighbours leave their homes screaming. But if you are in a relationship, sex toys can actually help you feel closer to your partner on an emotional and physical level, especially when you are either in a ‘new’ relationship and are looking for some ‘cheap thrills’ or are in a long term relationship and want to start making extra hot curries in the bedroom. In fact researcher Michael Reece, Ph.D, concluded that men who regularly use vibrators (on themselves, on their partners, or both) score higher on measures of erectile function, orgasm function, sexual desire, and sexual satisfaction than men who have rarely or never reached for a vibrator. And it’s the same for women; researcher Van Kirk believes that sex toys like vibrators can boost the relationship and sexual satisfaction of anyone who is open minded enough to be respectful of their own and their partners inclinations and boundaries.
In other words, sex toys can bring you closer to your partner because it teaches you to be ‘open and honest’ about your sexual needs and desires, not only discovering what you want from your sex life, but also taking the time to listen to what your partner needs to feel sexually stimulated. And while some people might be afraid that using sex toys’ means that they are not good enough in the bedroom, it’s actually the complete opposite; sex toys break down boundaries, improves communication and can help you turn ‘stale sex lives’ with about as much pizazz as vanilla ice cream (although vanilla is actually a great ice cream flavour) into a spicy chickpea curry that will have you begging for more. And yes in case you were wondering, I am HANGRY, that’s why I keep making sexual food puns.
2. It Can Increase And Improve Foreplay: Lets Spice Up The Bedroom Routine
In the eyes of the ‘Sex Toy Gods’ themselves AKA Love Honey, there is nothing better than a good ol’ fashioned sex toy to help spice up the bedroom routine. But how can the vivacious vibrator or the active anal beads help increase and improve foreplay I hear you ask? That’s where my good chum the imaginary Barbara comes in, a resident love doctor, proud owner of the world’s largest sex toy collection and all round sexy beast, delivering foreplay puns since 2002. To truly get ‘each over off’ why not combine sex toys and foreplay, for a longer, more satisfying orgasm that will have each other gasping for pleasure? For example using a vibrator on a woman’s clitoris, while a partner is performing oral sex on her, will have her bouncing right into orgasm territory, while using a vibrator on a man’s balls while performing fellatio on him can leave him feeling like the cat who got the cream. And sex toys don’t just enhance sexual pleasure during Foreplay, but it can also help women who find it difficult to achieve orgasm without clitoral stimulation, while men who might find it difficult to get an erection, might find that sex toys like cock rings can help them feel more at ease and less at pressure to perform, creating a higher quality orgasm.
Furthermore in some cases women who go through the menopause might find that their sex drive declines because they face gynecological symptoms like vaginal tightness, dryness and atrophy, which can make sex painful and an uninviting prospect. But using sex toys like a vibrator can improve foreplay because it improves the tone and elasticity of vaginal walls, increases sexual sensation and also promotes vaginal lubrication, which means that penetration is not as painful as it might be without using sex toys. Men too have been found to have higher erectile function when using sex toys, especially during foreplay because it not only stimulates their erogenous zones, but it also makes them more likely to be aware of their sexual health, ensuring that their meat and veg are all in working order. In some cases women cannot orgasm through penetration alone, even when they are ‘turned on’ due to vulval pain conditions such as Vulvodynia, which means that a combination of ‘sex toys, foreplay and penetration’ can help alleviate the pain, while helping them to orgasm too.
3. It Can Help You Discover Erogenous Zones: Let’s Get It On
Ah sexy time, bringing you endless pleasure since Adam And Eve. And while we are eager to attend to our penises/vagina’s every need, we are quick to neglect erogenous zones like the nape of the neck, which can provide just as much sexual tension and arousal as a ‘finger blasting sesh’. And yes that was graphic, get over it. Sure doing the same foreplay routine starts to lose its excitement after a while, but the magic doesn’t have to leave the sex den just yet. You could use an Intimate massager towards the pelvis area, where nerves are grouped together for ‘fun-gasmic pleasure, get your partner to kiss the nape of your neck for a road map to a very ‘happy ending’ or even nibble on some ear lobes for some erogenous satisfaction. Other erogenous zones include fun central (the vagina), the gateway to heaven (the clitoris duh) and the stairway to make out seshes (the neck). And don’t forget about the men whose erogenous zones include the scrotum (which has a high concentration of nerve endings), the Love Hormone House (mouth and lips) which releases oxytocin and of course the penis, which for some reason guys have an obsession with swinging in their friends faces. And they said that bromance was dead…
4. Sex Toys Are Not Just For Couple Play. Even Single Pringles Can Have ‘Sexy Fun’!
Who said that having a ‘sex life’ means that you have to be in a relationship? Not Barbara, in fact she encourages partners to have ‘their own saucy fun’ without partners to spice things up in the bedroom as well as convincing single pringles that a vibrator a day, keeps the players away. And let me tell you, I dated my fair share of players and noone likes a bad boy whose selfish in the bedroom. Which is where MR Dildo and friends come in, delivering an orgasm or your money back guarantee. Owning a sex toy is like owning a fridge, everyone needs one and it should be fully stocked at all times, even when your ‘rent is due’ and your living on beans on toast for the rest of the month. Now what I mean by this is that ‘not having a well stocked fridge’ or cooking un-nutritious food because you are cooking for one, means that you are neglecting your emotional and physical needs just as not taking the time to address our sexual needs- whether that be through wanking or using sex toys- just because you are single, means that you are ignoring the opportunity to have much needed sexy time. After all you don’t need someone else’s genitalia to have a free for all orgasm buffet, just as you don’t have to live with other people to make yourself a delicious meal. Catch my drift?
You see contrary to the perpetuation of archaic media and cultural stereotypes, it’s not grubby for men to be part of the masturbation club, nor is it just men who wank (er hello news flash women wank too). I remember having a conversation about sex toys with some university friends and remembered someone saying that it was ‘disgusting’ when I spoke about masturbating as a woman and how I would recommend sex toys to everyone. You see, this person had every right to express their opinion freely, but what they failed to realize was that women A. have the right to wank B. speak openly about their sex lives if they choose to and C. it’s not ‘disgusting to use sex toys, just as it does not make you a loser if you are single and use toys for pleasure.
5. Sex Toys Can Help You Get To Know Your Own Body. Because If You Can’t Get To Know Your Own Body How The Hell You Gonna Know Somebody Elses?
In the infamous words of MOTHER herself ‘If You Can’t Get To Know Your Own Body How The Hell You Gonna Know Somebody Else’s? Well… what Ru Paul actually said was ‘if you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else’ but you get what I’m saying? Essentially if we don’t take the time to get to know our own bodies, and love what we have, then how can we love and appreciate someone else’s body? Which is where sex toys come in, as they not only teach us to pay more attention to our sexual needs and discover what ‘turns us on’, but by learning to turn ourselves on, we can turn ‘others on’ because we know what makes ‘each other tick’. After all couples that ‘play together stay together’ or at least tend to fare better in terms of maintaining passion and desire, as well as increased relationship satisfaction, because they have taken the time to explore unique ways of being intimate in and out of the bedroom.
According to Alicia Sinclair, the CEO of b-Vibe and Le Wand, ‘Sex Toys’ can be a unique and pleasurable way to learn more about your body via stimulation and experimentation, eliciting different forms of pleasure that you had no idea you were capable of, including the art of ‘pleasing yourself’. What Alicia means is that although foreplay and sex does help you to experiment in the bedroom, sex toys take it that step further because it allows you to see your body in a different light, by introducing you to kinks, understanding what your body needs and wants to feel aroused and how you can use this knowledge to help your partner get to know your body just as intimately. And if you are looking for something different, doing kegel exercises does not only boost sexual pleasure but can also lead to better sex, as it helps to relax the vaginal muscles, which allows the vagina to be more open, increases sexual arousal, improves a woman’s ability to reach orgasm and increases blood circulation to the vagina.
What Are Your Thoughts On Sex Toys?