The C-word; it takes our loved ones too soon and breaks apart families. It can ravish you with disease and leave you dead before your time. But sometimes you survive and even when cancer tries to knock you down you come back fighting. Your one of the lucky ones, there are those who are told they only have months to live and all they can do is prepare their loved ones for their departure to the other side. Finding out you, a family member, friend, co-worker or neighbour has cancer is a nasty shock and it can be difficult to learn how to cope when a diagnosis is heard. I have lost people I loved to cancer; some were barely a teen when cancer took hold of them and others were older. When it comes to the C-word it has no concept of time and as quickly as it comes it can take its victims with them.
My aunty was one of the lucky ones. She realized something was wrong when she had a car accident after being struck down by an extreme state of exhaustion. The bleeding began and her coughing bouts of blood became more regular, what had started as a bacterial infection in her stomach created ulcers that mutated into stomach cancer. Finding out that the one woman, the one biological family member who had always been there for me left a lump in my throat and I couldn’t believe that someone still so young could have a cancer that was more common in patients of 60 and over. It was a lot to take in but through it all my aunty stood steadfast, strong in her belief that she would get better. Never once did she doubt her ability to survive and as she told me later, being on the operation table after failed bouts of chemotherapy made her tell herself that if she died she would be ok to go. As she said, she had lived her life and while she would be sad to go she would be ready if God wished her to be welcomed into her arms.
As you probably know I am not religious by any means but during my Aunty’s battle with cancer her conviction in faith strengthened and I for one was glad that she had something to turn to and make her feel positive during a dark period of her life. She lost so much weight that she was almost skeletal and her operation meant that she could no longer enjoy the foods that she once loved but she was grateful. Because despite the C- word she never gave up hope and while she still suffers with the after effects of the treatment today a few years on, she said its better to be alive with the ones she loves, even if she is in pain and exhausted. We have all accepted that she will never be the same as she was before the treatment but I for one am so proud of her. She endured an abusive marriage, had a partner who cheated on her and raised my cousin without seeking help as a single mum.
To me this brave remarkable woman is not just a cancer survivor but is the nearest thing to a mum to me. I as you may know have a difficult and often tumultuous relationship with my biological mother but never once did my aunt’s love ever falter for me and that I am sure of. Aunty was given tremendous support during her treatment and even now a few years on has check ups to make sure she is cancer free and touch wood she is. While Aunty was treated in the fantastic Royal Marsden, I know others had success at Harley Street at Queens, which has a fantastic Cancer ward specializing in gastrointestinal, urological and lung cancer among others. It is clinics and hospitals like these that make me happy to enlighten a noble cause and help vanquish the C-Word once and for all.
Seeing my aunty diagnosed with cancer changed my perspective on the way I viewed life and in a way her strength and vitality in the face of vitality was a driving force behind the creation of this blog. Whilst it is true that I was finally encouraged to take the plunge after dealing with illness myself my aunty told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and concentrate on getting myself better. It was harsh but it was the best advice that she could have ever given me. It was the wake up call I needed and after wallowing in self-pity I took control of my destiny and started my blog. It was the best decision that I had ever made and writing helped me re-cooperate while my body rested. Now a year later I am in a better state of mind and physically I am stronger than I was, my bouts of nausea though frequent are less frequent than before and I have more energy. I am still tired all the time but when I think of my aunty and her battle with the C-word it shows me that someone in far worse pain than me battled her diagnosis without complaint and it is a motto we can all learn from. I know from personal experience that we can complain about the most trivial things but never once did aunty feel sorry for herself. Instead she thanked her lucky stars that she made it to the end of her journey and never let the C-word defeat her. She is my hero and no other role model could ever come close.
Have you or a loved one had cancer? How Did You Cope?
*Disclosure
Please note this post has been sponsored but this does not affect my opinions, research and curation of post. All points are factual and not influenced by monetary compensation.
I lost my grandad to cancer and my mother-in-law, she was just 55 and her first grandson, my boy was just 4 months old. I’m glad your Aunt was luckier.
Ana, I am sorry to hear your aunt had cancer. I had a near scare of breast cancer in my twenties. I lost someone to lung cancer in my teens. I have watched how it can crush the most strong of people and you are right. It hits every age group. Your aunt sounds like an amazing inspiring person! Hugs.
my husband lost his mother to Cancer when he was only 15 and it has affected many of our family. A horrid illness.
My grandmother died of cancer and it was awful how quickly it happened. She was passed off as being a hypochondriac for years and when they finally did the proper tests she was riddled with cancer and died within weeks. I’m so sorry to read about your Aunt.
I am glad your aunt recovered and is such a great example of strength and courage. A couple of people in my extended family suffer/suffered from cancer. Life is so precious.
Cancer struck my family twice within three years. My uncle passed away in 2012 and then last year was the most difficult as I lost my dad to it. He was misdiagnosed and finally had the bad news a month before passing away. It’s been incredibly difficult, especially since he and I were so close. I really just want there to be a cure and for there not to be so many mistakes – not five years before my dad’s passing saw his best friend who was also misdiagnosed. I know too many who have been and it’s awful.
Glad your aunt has recovered, though – it does give hope that there can be cures.
It’s one of the diseases that I dread and hate. I’ve lost a number of loved ones and people close to me because of this dreadful disease and it has always been heartbreaking. I’m glad your aunt is now cancer free, that’s such a blessing! It’s a cause close to me which is why I try to support companies who fight against it as much as I can.
I have lost several members of my family to cancer. The one that stands out the most was my grandfather though. It took such a toll on his body and it was utterly heartbreaking. I hope you Aunt continues to be cancer free and continues to be able to spend the rest of her life with her loved ones.
Cancer is a horrible, horrible disease. I can’t imagine what it must be like to go through. I’m sorry to hear about your aunt having cancer but so glad to hear she recovered! xx
I am glad that your aunt has recovered that’s such a blessing. Cancer is a horrible. I know too many who have been and it’s awful.
Such a touching story and it’s sad that we all know people who have been affected 🙁
Such a deep, personal post. The c-word is a horrible thing, it affects so many peoples lives xo
I’m so glad that your aunt was recover, My friend was died on cancer
Your aunt sounds like one remarkable woman!! She’s a survivor.
The C word plays a very big part in my life. Ever since my gran was diagnosed, i’m so glad you shared this story. I related to every word. Love the art work you’ve chosen for this piece as well. Magical
Cancer sucks. I lost my grandma to multiple myeloma (blood cancer that affects the bone marrow/bones), which isn’t really curable, so we knew we’d lose her soon after hearing the diagnosis. And now a few days ago I’ve heard my grandad got diagnosed with cancer as well. Bladder cancer. Way less dangerous, but they won’t be able to cure it completely, because he’s too weak for the operation needed for that. So at some point he will die because of it as well.
It’s so sad, and I hope we soon find a vaccine or better cure. Glad to hear your aunt recovered though.
Sorry to hear about you aunt, glad to hear she has recovered from it. It is horrible and took a few people who I know who were only in there 50’s 🙁
I’m so glad to hear your aunt recovered. It is such an awful, awful disease. I found out today, someone I went to school with has it and he has very little chance of recovering. He’s only 24. It’s awful 🙁
Cancer is something that seems to touch everyone’s lives at some point, , such an awful, awful disease.
My friend died of cancer recently and it really was devastating. Weirdly I had a dream the night she died that my Grandpa and my Dad (who both passed) were comforting me, visiting me and it was so weird and vivid. I woke the next day to the news after I had the dream and although I am not particularly spiritual something must have been in my subconscious that knew she was saying goodbye. I am so sorry for your loss and I hope we do find a cure for the dreaded C word x
One of my friends was suffering from Cancer. Unfortunately, her cancer was detected in the last stage and she passed away last year. I couldn’t meet her during her last days as she moved out from the United States to spend some time with her family in Germany. She was very dynamic and fun-loving gal I ever met!
Four months ago I lost a very dear friend to this horrible disease. I’m still coping with it now, but I try to remind myself what my lovely friend would say to me if she saw me crying or welling up.
Every now and then I take her children out to play with mine and I watch them playing so nicely together and having fun and I dearly wish my friend could be there to see it. I imagine her looking down and smiling though and that makes me feel that little bit better.
The c-word is so scary and really does affect everyone in some way. My aunt died of breast cancer a few years ago, it was awful, although her fight was very brave. My best friend in South Africa was has recently been diagnosed with bowel cancer, she is only 32! Really scary
Laura x
It sounds like your aunt is such a strong woman. People that can say the tough but true things to you are the best. And in a way, she’s sort of the reason your awesome and very successful blog started! That’s very neat.
Nina
aworldofdresses@gmail.com
I have often heard that people struggling from diseases or any kind of problems are the ones who actually feel stronger towards the faith. Your aunty is indeed very strong!
Yes. Sadly, both my mum and dad’s side have had the C word. It’s difficult isn’t it? An aunt of mine passed away a few years ago and my cousins are still learning to cope without their mum. Heartbreaking really.
I hate the C-Word. I lost my grandpa to this horrible disease and almost lost my Aunt as well. I was very young when my Grandpa was fighting the sickness but I was 20 when I got the call to meet my family at the hospital. She had known something was wrong for months but her doctor ignored her. She passed out while visiting her father-in-law and she actually had to be put in a coma to receive treatment and a breathing tube down her throat. It was so hard to watch her go through that but she is living cancer free now. 🙂
I HATE THE C-WORD!!!
I have lost family members and friends to Cancer and I have some friends going through treatment right now and it is just so horrible x
So sorry to hear that hun, it must be tough but it sounds like you are an amazing supportive friend xx
What a beautiful post. I hope she reads it and knows how brave and strong you think she is. I can’t imagine having gone through something like that .. thank-you for writing about it.
Sorry to hear this. Cancer is such a horrible disease that everyone now seems to have been touched by whether that’s friends or family members who’ve had it. :l
Thank you for sharing such a powerful post. Although i haven’t had any family members affected, I have supported a few cancer charities and know of friends affected by a family diagnosis. It is amazing how you see the real priorities and help you appreciate more in some ways x
Cancer is an awful illness that will affect many of us in some shape or form. I have lost a few relatives to cancer and it’s awful to watch them suffer as they get progressively worse. Glad to hear your aunt made it through.
Cancer has no respect for life, family or love. It attacks everyone. There is a child at my daughter’s preschool undergoing chemo. Just dreadful :'(