Two lovers were married for all eternity and promised to stay together til’ death do us part and true to word, they died within 2 years of each other. The grandad went first, bedridden and battling cancer, while the grandma became his carer, changing his dressings and attending to her husband with love in her eyes. When he died she was heartbroken and within a year deteriorated until she was bedridden herself. This proud, independent but giving woman had spent all her life caring for the man that she had loved and when he died she had no chance to live out the rest of her days with happiness in her heart. Instead, two years later she too died of (bowel) cancer and had regressed into forgetting the people around her and hardly had the energy to talk. They are buried in the same cemetery but not together like she wanted, but maybe that’s for the best.
You see the man she had married was an abusive alcoholic, who drank day and night and treated the woman he ‘promised to treat right’ like s**t. He would beat her senseless and beat the animals that they had in their care too. The kittens would be tortured and tormented, until they died too. But they lived on a quiet sleepy island, where women were abused by their alcoholic partners, and the neighbors would turn a blind eye. You would hear abandoned pets mewling and barking into the deep of night and feel the anguish in their howls, as they too became a victim of violence and neglect. There was no such thing as ‘animal rights’ nor were women (or men) who were victims of domestic violence that was fueled by alcohol addiction, given any support and guidance. The grandma, being the traditionalist that she was didn’t believe in divorce and her religious convictions meant that she stood by her husbands side no matter what. No one ever saw her cry or show that she was in pain but the people knew. They knew that their marriage housed a dark secret and the Granddad was turning to drink to cope with his mental health issues.
The Granddad never divulged that he was battling his inner demons and that drink was a coping mechanism for the pain he had inside but everyone knew. They implored him to stop but his addiction to alcohol was incessant and controlling. Without drink he was the kind,merry if gruff man that she had married but under the influence, he became a different person and his children would beg him to put the drink down.But he couldn’t stop,alcohol was his drug and besides there were no facilities or Alcohol Treatment Centres, that could help him come to terms with his alcohol addiction issues. He thought that if he sought help, people would think that he was crazy and besides his own son ‘ had mental health issues’ and that had caused enough of a scandal in an island where speaking out about your struggles with mental health would make the villagers label you as a ‘freak’ and he didn’t want that. Oh no, not at all.
Instead he kept on drinking, until one day, there was never a moment when he wasn’t drunk. No one knew what had happened in his past and he kept his abuse of his wife a secret. No one knew but the kids and they too kept their mouths shut. The grandma had been hurt enough and God knows how much worse he beat her when their children were not around. They cried into the empty silences of the night, too afraid to speak up, hot salty tears plopping onto their bed. If only there was something they could do, they would cry. In those days seeking help just wasn’t an option and there had been enough of a scandal where their son had been sectioned, to let the same thing happen to their father. So instead they watched on, praying that one day society would listen to their pleas and give their mother the happiness that she truly deserved.
She was a kind woman and looked on sadly as the children around her also entered abusive marriages. There was the daughter who married a man who beat her, only to escape, get pregnant and find her next partner cheating on her, before the child had even been born. There was the son who was married and had a disabled son, only to be abused by his own wife and later divorced much to the horror of the family. And there was the grandchildren, all but one who had escaped the ‘abusive curse’, a little girl who was her step mums unwanted child, punished for being ‘alive’. But what could the grandma do, she was in another country and even as more facilities began being built and the island she had lived in become more established, she stayed put in an abusive marriage because she would do anything for love and she loved her husband more than she ever loved herself.
In her twilight years she wondered what would become of her, would they die together, still entwined until the very end or would she die alone, her husband cold in the ground before she took her final steps into death. When her husband was placed in the ground, she wept, it was an end of an era but among the sad tears she guiltily felt relief. For the first time since they were married, she was free from abuse and she did not know what to do with herself. She placed a portrait of them in the drawer for her granddaughter to keep and sorted through old courting letters. Whatever happened to the kind man that she had married. Where did he go?
But then she realized something with sharp clarity. She realized that it was not her fault that he had abused her, like she once thought. Nor was it because she was a bad wife and did not do her duty, like the bible told her she must do. Instead it was his alcohol addiction that made him change and she struggled to remember the good heart that lay at the core. When people had found out about the abuse they were shocked but not once did she say a bad word about him. Despite the blows, the kicks and punches she remained faithful to her husband and his memory because she loved him, until her dying breath.
The grandchild looked on from afar, where she lived the Grandad would have been given help a long time ago. He would have received counselling and sent to a treatment centre. He would have received a tailored detoxification programme and learned life skills and tools that would complete his recovery. He might have been a changed man and begged his wives forgiveness. He would have been imprisoned for his prolonged domestic abuse of his wife and charged for neglect and abuse of the animals in his care. But most of all he would have been given help and shown how he could be ‘away from the bottle’ and be placed on an abstinence programme that would become the platform that he needed to aid his recovery process. But instead they both died in pain. He never felt remorse for his actions and died still attached to the bottle, while his wife who was forced to tend to the man who had beat her, died from the cancer that had claimed her. Truth is she had been dead a long time ago. She became numb to pain, after all when the man who she loved could treat her so horrendously, how could anything hurt her as much as he did? Even cancer was no match. She died knowing that happiness was fleeting but even in her dying days she would mutter over and over again that it ‘was not his fault’. She never said anything else, her speech had deteriorated in her last moments on earth but she would beg the children to understand that it ‘was not his fault’ and the children understood. They would never excuse his actions and deplored the man he had become, but deep down they knew that the alcohol had taken over and ruined their marriage.
An uncle stood in the shadows, he had turned to drink after his divorce and saw alcohol as an escape from his mental health. He didn’t like that his neighbors called him crazy. They didn’t understand him, didn’t give him the help that he needed. No one begged him to stop, the alcohol made him feel normal again. But when his mother died and he lived in her house all alone. he could feel her watching over him like his guardian angel and he knew that he needed help. He didn’t want to be like his father, but he struggled with learning how to cope with his mental health issues, especially when he would be detained in a mental asylum for ‘acting out’.People would encourage him to drink, it was the villagers mentality, said it made him one of them. But he didn’t want to belong if it meant it would hurt others, so day by day he cut down on his alcohol consumption until one day, like his mother had been for most of her life, he was sober and didn’t touch a drop of drink again. He spoke to the local council and got them to build ‘treatment facilities’ and he raised awareness of what it is like to live with alcohol addiction. The people, like he had predicted turned against him and it was lonely at first but he felt good. He had sought the help he needed and had the strength to keep on fighting. There are days when he walks into the village and watches others drink, looks at the sauce that comes out the bottle and licks his lips. When the villagers offer him beer he struggles to say no but then he remembers his mother, smiles and says no thank you.
And where is this uncle now?
*Disclaimer
A collaborative post with Ana Treatment Centres. For privacy reasons I have not divulged any locations or identifiable features of the people mentioned but the narrative is based on a true story. Domestic abuse is never ok and if you think that someone you know is going through this please speak out. If someone is addicted to alcohol do not turn a blind eye, instead give them the help and support that they need and most of all seek professional help. This narrative was written to show a ‘real insight into the effects of alcohol addiction’ on loved ones but it goes without saying that each case is different.
Domestic Violence Helplines & Information Sources In The UK
http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/ & a 24 hour Freephone National Domestic Violence Helpline :0808 2000 247- For Women
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/
Womens Aid Helpline open 24/7 : 0808 2000 247 24 & https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/helpline/
For Men Who Are Being Abused By Their Partners
Mankind- For men who are experiencing domestic violence or abuse by their partner http://new.mankind.org.uk/
Mankind Helpline: 01823 334244
Mens Advice Line: http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/ & the free landline number to call is 0808 801 0327
Please call 999 if you are in the UK and in immediate danger and 911 in the US
Alcohol Addiction Helplines (UK)
Talk to FRANK: Freephone: 0300 123 6600 & talktofrank.com
Drinkline Helpline: 0300 123 1110
Helplines for children who are being affected by their families drinking addiction
NACOA (National Association for Children of Alcoholics):Helpline: 0800 358 3456 & nacoa.org.uk
Great post Ana – you always show such raw emotion and incredible edible insight into all the topics you cover. I have an alcoholic cousin so I know first hand how devastating alcohol addiction can be I pray everyone suffering can get the help they need! Thanks for shining a light in this often covered up topic
Great post. Alcohol addiction rips apart families and needs to be addressed. Domestic violence is terrible and so many times the abused keeps quite. I’m not sure what I would do in that situation but telling people to just leave isn’t the answer either.
I guess I’m blessed to have never had to experience this kind of life. But I know that’s not the case for many other people. Such a shame when people are failed because of not being able to access the right health care or treatment. You told their story beautifully, thanks for sharing.
A thoroughly enjoyable post, although hard to read in parts. I’ve seen first hand the perils of alcohol addiction and its not nice at all xxx
While this is a heart wrenching story to read, it is indeed not an uncommon story. And just like so many things, there are “degrees” when it comes to alcoholism and abuse. Someone can be living through alcoholism and/or abuse and not realize it. We have alcoholism in my family, and it helps to know that there is help. You listed great resources for helping those affected. Another amazing resource is Al-Anon…this is for anyone who has a friend or loved one who is an alcoholic or addict. It’s a free program and provides so much understanding and experience and hope for people living with alcoholism or addiction. Check out: http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/ or http://www.al-anon.org (in the US).
That’s just such a sad story here. I guess I have been around enough people who have mental health issues that I have seen how they try to self-medicate and how they use drugs to be able to mask the pain that they are feeling. Just makes me so sad thinking about the people around them who encourage poor coping mechanisms.
I like how the story conveys the point. Sometimes asking for help is the hardest but the only right decision in a situation. I hope more people choose to ask for help and know that there are other people and organizations who care and who want to help. Together we can overcome many problems in the society, like alcohol abuse and domestic violence.
Oftentimes, we tackle issues about drug addiction and how it affects someone’s life, but it is very seldom that alcohol addiction is addressed because of alcohol being legal. There are so many battered wives who are victims of abusive men due to excessive alcohol intake. I agree with you that it is never okay and helping alcoholic people to become better people is an issue we must focus on.
Great post and very well written. You vividly described what goes on inside an abusive relationship. I could not blame the wife. Most women refuse to ask for help because of the stigma that goes with it. I can feel the grandmother’s pain as I was reading through this post. You should start writing a book, Ana. I just love your writing style.
Yes, it’s true we should speak out if we see any abuse. Silence is not the solution. To get rid off from any addiction is very difficult but nothing is impossible if it gets professional help and support.
Thank you for always making posts that make sense in the world! By our local playground there are always alcoholic group of friends drinking together. One day there was a little girl of around 6y playing with us. She then hurt herself ang called after her mum. To my horror one of the drunken lady came over to comfort this little who is actually her daughter. She than brought this little girl to sit on one of the drunken mans lap. And I have they around very often. While her mum is getting drunk next to. I just feel so sad for her. I keep wondering, what kind of enviroment is she in? Surrounded by drunk uncles…are they being nice to her? How will her life end? Like her mum? The teachers at school, do they turn a blind eye?
A great post Ana! Good to share something that’s not often talked about.
Fantastic post this. It’s very sad to read a story about just how much alcohol can destroy lives and how easily.
It’s such a sad situation – I just hope that people seek help when needed x
Wow that brought tears to my eyes. You wrote this piece incredibly well Ana. It’s great you are helping to highlight this. So many suffer in silence when they don’t need to. It can help give them strength by reading others stories.
I have a close family member who has struggled with addition -not alcohol, but it’s quite incredible the impact that is has on EVERYONE around them.
It is such a shame that people don’t always get the help they need. Especially when the right help can make so much difference to people’s lives.
This is such a sad story 🙁 Which you have written beautifully – it really illustrates the pain, present and long-term, of alchohol abuse. Thankfully there are resources available now and a little bit more awareness I hope!
Goodness, what a tragic story. Sadly the cycle of abuse is true. I guess one of the reasons why the grandmother kept the abuse secret is that they belonged to a different era where you’re not supposed to talk about private matters. Hopefully her kids will learn to report their abusers.
Well done for sharing this- addiction is very cruel and people dont fully appreciate the effect it can have on families unless they’ve been there!
I sat and read this with tears in my eyes, such a huge post with such an impact, sadly there are a lot of people who suffer behind closed doors. Addiction is a horrible thing and it is those who care that suffer the most x
Wow this post really resonated with me on so many levels. A very close member of my family is an alcoholic and his mental health has impacted on my whole family. So well written Ana, as always. xx
That was really powerful! Alcoholism affected several members of my family, all of whom became abusive and all before there was help. My siblings and I are the first generation to actually break the cycle of alcohol abuse and domestic violence. It wasn’t easy and we all broke that cycle in different ways but knowing there is help out there means there is hope for others to break the cycle as well.
Thank you for sharing your story. Unfortunately I have known several people with alcohol addiction, so I know how you feel. It rips families apart.
You know, I think it’s really important people with addictions get the proper treatment. I’ve been reading up on Alcoholics Anonymous (which is really pushed here in the US), and because it’s anonymous there’s never been any real studies on its effectiveness, but it looks like it’s not great. I hope people who are struggling will find their way here so they know they can get real treatment before it ever gets to the point in your story.
Thank you for shedding a light on a very real problem we face with both alcoholism and domestic abuse. So many people suffer in silence and it’s time we all take a stand and start lending a helping hand to those who are too weak to call out for help.
It is so, so sad to think about the impact of alcohol on so many people’s lives. Alcohol addiction really is the worst drug of all and the horror of the harm it does is unbearable to think about. Powerful writing, Ana.
This was heartbreaking to read. It’s definitely an eye opener as well especially for people who have family or friends that are dealing with alcohol abuse. It’s always better to help out or reach out to them instead of turning a blind eye. People shouldn’t be robbed of their lives because of this when there’s clearly a solution or a way out.
I have never had a close relative with alcohol addiction but it is devastating to a person and their family. I do have a relative who had gambling as an addiction and that was and still is terrible so I feel for you.
Addiction to Alcohol seems to be a problem for everyone involved. I can’t pass judgement on this woman who decided to stick by her vows and care for her abusive family. Instead I prefer to offer peace to the surviving members of the family and I hope that they will break the chain of substance abusive and abusive behaviour in future generations.
Once I started reading I could not stop myself. You have a gift for writing
When I was growing up I got to witness a family on the same street, living with an alcohol abusing father. one of their daughters (they had many children) was just a few years younger than me and we were friends. So I was in their yard quite a lot, playing with their pets (the father was bringing in lots of animals as well). I have witnessed like this how he used to beat his wife, this until his sons grew up and started to defend her by beating him up. Even so, he never gave up drinking. And I don’t think I ever saw him sober, in my over 20 years of living there. And this has affected his entire family, as my friend ended up preganant at 16, trying to get out of that environment.
What a dramatic filled story. I can’t imagine living the terror that so many live on a daily basis. I can’t imagine what it would be like to live in fear from the one that you love.
Such a raw post, well done on sharing something that perhaps isn’t talked about as much as it should be.
Reading the first paragraph literally brought me to tears. I myself isn’t an alcohol drinker- just not fond of the taste.
xx Kamille | http://www.kamilleking.com
Wow such a powerful post you really have conveyed the sorrow that alcoholism can bring to a family.
What a great post, Unfourtantly I know all too well what it’s like to have family that is alcoholics. I’ve really found that Alanon has been able to help too.
Wow! Just wow! This is great! Thank you for going there! This is one of those taboo topics and the way you shared this story was great!
This is such a heartbreaking story. Alcohol does do damage. When you are drunk, you just lose control and the fact that you did it once, means you will do it again. There is no alcohol addiction in my family that I know of and I hope there will never be. But if something happens, I’ll make sure I don’t keep a blind eye
What a truly sad story 🙁 Alcohol addiction can rip people apart & domestic violence is just awful. I’m glad that there is more support out there nowadays x
Thank you for sharing your story. Alcohol addiction can be a frightening thing. I mean, it’s scary how quickly someone can get addicted to it. I always hope people who go through it are able to get help. Sometimes the story ends well. Other times, not so much.
Mental health, alcohol abuse, and abusive relationships are all topics that are still taboo to talk about in society, so thank you for sharing this story. You’ve captured real emotions of suffering and sorrow in this story
Great post – alcohol addiction is tough. Any addiction is tough but it’s so important to admit there is a problem and seek help before families get torn apart or you lose everything. It’s so deadly.
Alcoholism is the worst. And I think it’s horrible that we are encouraged to keep quiet about abuse. As if being abused is something shameful. I’ve never lived with alcoholism, but I have lived with abuse as a kid. And it was always swept under the rug by the adults. Hopefully there will be a time when people feel completely comfortable coming out about that type of situation.
Amazing post – alcoholism is a sad addiction, isn’t it. My wee Mummy was an alcoholic {not that she would have admitted it!}. It’s such a horrible disease.
A great post, well written. Thanks for sharing and for raising awareness.
Good post to share with everyone, it is so important to talk about these things and hope that people will reach out for help
Alcoholism is a horrendous thing. Living with someone with it is horrible, just horrible. Very well written piece.
This is such a powerful post Ana. I guess I’m lucky that I’ve never experienced alcohol addiction nor domestic abuse with anyone I’m close to.
Your story conveys a strong and important message. Addiction is an illness and when mixed with abuse it can be fatal to families and their well being. People should find the courage to speak up.
❥ tanvii.com
It got me goosebumps Ana! Alcohol has broken so many families and relations and people yet feel alcohol as a thing which helps them remain stable under emotional days! How much have been families suffering just due to alcohol addiction! Should share these helpline nos. more and more to make people aware.
Powerful post, and one that I wish was very rare, but know is not. I worked with abuse children for many years, and saw so much pain, manifested in drug and alcohol abuse, in every corner of the family unit. It perpetuates a vicious inter-generational cycle of abuse.
This is a really powerful post. My stepdad was an alcoholic and was verbally and emotionally abusive. He would always come at me to get to my mom but sometimes he would physcially hurt my mom. We thankfully got out and with lots of counseling, I didn’t repeat the cycle.
Thank you so much for your post. I have been a domestic violence advocate for over a decade and this is a story that needs to be told. Especially the generational effects of abuse.
Alcohol can ruin family’s. We are so lucky there are so many resources for family’s going through it.
Oh what a sad story and how beautiful people become addicted to something which destroys them. Alcohol destroys everything like fortune, relationships and even the life of a person. Really addiction to something which is not good for us is so bad. Sometimes beautiful family and even a person is destroyed by such addictions. For me, there should be some strict rules by goverment to people to consume alcohol like setting limits.
It’s terrible how alcohol can invade and tear families apart. From what starts out as a social or relaxing drink can eventuate into a crippling addiction that can be difficult to evade. This story though is a reminder that it only takes one person to break the cycle, to change generations of habitual addiction.
You are doing a great job. Addicted people really need help.
Great post and it is very useful to get rid of alcohol. With persistence and practice, and help from therapists, the alcoholic can learn to take back control and start to choose a better way to live.
You should consider putting some of these great posts into a book Ana. They have so much feeling and truth the world is going to love them!
thank you for this story Ana, I can relate on it: both my grandpas were alcohol addicted and both of my grandmas (and their kids, also my parents) lived the consequences of that. It’s not just a matter of what you live in those moments but it’s something you have to deal with for the rest of your life.
Such a moving, heartfelt post. Alcohol addiction can be a terrible burden on a family, I watched a family member sink to rock bottom, luckily that was the spark for them to turn their lives around. I will share this about, it’s such an important message.
Dealing with alcohol is never an easy path especially if you’re so used to it as an outlet for all that’s going on in your life. I think it’s really important to have a support group or if you have a loved one who is dealing with a drinking problem, you should definitely make a move to help him or her out.
My mum was an alcoholic for the last few years of her life, treatment did not work and sadly she died. It is a horrible disease. x
You really captured the emotional depth of what goes on in a family when someone is struggling with an addiction. One of my family members died of alcoholism when I was a child and his disease impacted my entire family, as it does. It certainly didn’t make me love him any less, but it’s such a tough thing on everyone.
Alcoholism is a very bad habit that has really wrecked alot of homes. And as someone who lives in Africa I see this kind of cases like the one you have shared in the story virtually every day. Someone really needs to speak out, thanks for the enlightenment.
You have such a lovely writing style, like a novel. This is such a sad and common story though. I hope it can reach someone who needs it.
What a heartbreaking story! One of my friends’ cousin was an alcohol addict a few years ago. He went to several therapies but couldn’t recover. He committed suicide in the end. Thanks Ana for creating awareness about such a sensitive topic!
It’s so important to find someone to talk to and deal with the issues, many people in this situation think they can go it alone but they can’t!
Very well written … Alcoholism is an ugly beast and its hard to live with anyone going through that!
My mother was an alcoholic for most of my life. It tore our family to shreds. Thank you for sharing such a true post.
All too often it’s only at the very end do we sometimes learn about people who are suffering from these addiction. It’s embarrassing to share, some don’t even believe they have a problem until it’s too late. I am fortunate not to have to deal with something like this in my life, but I do have friends who have shared that they are either struggling with this addiction, or the victim to someone struggling. Great post.
Thrifting Diva
I saw first hand myself how alcoholic can destroy families and luckily for mine the alcoholic in the family changed the error of there ways. It is not something easy especially where mental issues are added to the equation.
Thank you for talking about a topic that is rarely discussed, yet happens a lot more than people realise. It must be so frightening, but it’s so important to get help.
Addiction does not care about who you are, what age you are or how much you love the people close to you. If it knocks on your door, it will destroy everything in its path. I have lost friends from addiction, it is horrible and the one thing that stood out to me and got imprinted in my memory, was when my friend’s mom stood for his eulogy at his funeral, she said he was not the only addict in the family. He might have been the only one using, but with him they all struggled, they all suffered, they all were addicts in a way and now the only thing this addiction left was emptiness… I still cry just thinking about it… Great job for sharing the helpline numbers.
Alcohol addiction is no joke. Had a friend who literally just drank herself to death. It was horrible to experience.
I can relate to this post so much since I have been through a lot. My mom died of lung cancer, and I do not even want to go there, and my cousin is an alcoholic. Tough life!
What a beautifully written story. Is that the end? I want to hear the rest. It sounds like something good was about to come out of the story.
This is a really powerful post. Thank goodness there are the treatment centers there are today to help people with alcohol addiction and domestic violence.
Oh, Ana. How difficult this must have been to write. Thank you for doing so, though, because through this story, others might be saved.
Thanks for sharing this post Ana. Abuse is never OK or acceptable. Good you are spreading the word.
I will say that in the UK drinking is seemed as ‘normal’ and just the done thing. Each time we go back to visit family it’s weird to be having a pint with our pub lunch. Having a “buzz” before dinner. There is definitely more of a drinking culture in the UK vs USA. At least from my experience.
This is such a good read! Any kind of addiction is bad and that goes with alcohol too. I don’t have any one I know that has alcohol addiction but thanks for sharing awareness of the impact it gives to the family and closed ones.
Thank you for providing the helplines as well, this is so real and so many people are afraid to talk about it
This was a really sad story, for both the grandad and the grandmother; I could only imagine the pain both of them had while in their last days. It would have helped so much if there were treatment centers or counseling for him, you never know how life would have turned in that case.
My first husband was a profound alcoholic and I’ve lived this life, and I know it’s darkest corners. His father too was an alcoholic. When I told his mother I was leaving him, she told me to stay, because that’s what a good wife would do. She told me she’d lived with it all of these years, and I would learn to as well. My son told me one night as I lay on the bathroom floor “You know mom, eventually, he’s going to kill you” He was right. I chose to leave. She never forgave me. He died about five years ago at the age of 47 because he drank himself to death. She told me it was my fault. Every woman makes her own choice and does what she knows is right for her. I’ve never thought less of her for staying for 50+ years. x
What a sad, sad tale. Unfortunately I know a few families who are fighting alcohol demons. I’ll never know if their situations also include abuse of family members because it’s often so easy to hide. I can only pray that they get help and together with their families they can find happiness
Great post and what a well written story. Domestic abuse is never ok and thank you for spreading awareness.
I was married to an alcoholic for 10 years. He was 12 years older and I had no idea what an alcoholic was–my family didn’t drink much. I tried to get him help but he would not accept so I finally left him. He never did get help.
Alcohol addiction is one of the worst and horrible ones. it’s not just the person him/herself who is suffering from it but it causes so much sorrow and destruction for those people around. Your writing is so real and the message so important. Nobody should face abusing.
You have passed on a great message by sharing your story. Thank you for spreading word to the ones who need this.
a very beautifully written story, this disease is awful and hurts everyone involved, it is many times not curable and only continues to destroy families
Abuse is never ok and it is never the victims fault. Thank you for using your blog as a platform to speak out.
Having a loved one who struggles with addiction is a difficult situation. Multitude feelings like hurt, despair, sadness, and anger are the typical result but with an overwhelming desire to help is always present. Thank you for spreading the words.
This actually really broke my heart because it’s extremely sad when someone turns to alcohol to hide their pain and their spouse has to deal with all the consequences of their drinking! I saw this with my grand parents as well, but nobody but our family knew. It’s really really sad.
Thank you for putting this to words! It’s well written
This brother of mine has been a little addiction in alcohol now he has a strain in her left knee because of a motor accident and got an alcohol poisoning. We are glad that he is OK. Glad that there is a rehabilitation too here in Philippines for alcohol addiction.
I’m glad that people are making awareness of things like abuse, lots of people should know that abuse is not something we should be okay about. It’s sad that many people experience this abusive type of relationship and how people don’t notice because of how the abused ones won’t or can’t reach out. Though the most heartbreaking part is when people do know of the situation and decide to turn a blind eye to it.
What a heartbreaking story. It’s awful to think people don’t have access to services we take for granted. Alcoholism has touched my family and it is an awful disease that no family should have to suffer through.
My grandfather was an alcoholic. Listening to my mother speak about him never being home until late and getting home being completely passed out, was so hard. I’m so thankful nobody close to me is struggling with alcohol addiction currently.
When I was little my brother had an alcohol addiction and whenever he had a drink he turned nasty and hit his wife. One day he did it when me and my cousin were around, and, luckily, he felt so guilty for what we had seen that he vowed to stop. I was 10. He stopped drinking for 20 years, and then just after my 30th birthday he turned to alcohol once again. I was devastated. Nowadays he gets more silly than anything when he’s had a drink. But whenever I’m around to witness it I feel like I’m 10 years old again. It frightens the life out of me. Alcohol addiction is such a hard thing to overcome, and I wish I knew how to help more than I am.
Louise x
Beautifully written and so deep. We have alcoholism in my family right alongside domestic abuse. It’s so hard when the person struggling and suffering doesn’t want help.
Thanks for the great post. Tragic yet inspiring. 🙁
Alcohol addiction is a terrible disease that has pulled so many families apart and destroyed relationships never to be repaired again. It is a battle one has to choose to win and get help for. No one can make that decision for the addict.
What an emotional and honest post, it’s heart breaking how damaging alcohol addiction is x
A really great read on a very important subject and extremly well written too. Sometimes, instead of people speaking out, they turn a blind eye, but that is enabling and hurting the person further.
Alcohol addiction really is an incredibly hard to deal with disease. When I was a working as a nurse I saw so many people who had their lives ruined because of it. Thank you for sharing such a raw view of this disease.
Addiction is a scary thing. I have a two family members dealing with it right now and it’s really hard. It’s hard to know what to say or do to help them.
This is so sad. I know a lot of families ruined by alcohol. Children are the most affected negatively.
This is so sad but an inspiring post. Thanks for sharing this story as well as the hotlines for help.
Sadly, I can relate to so much of the granddad and grandmas tale 🙁 as you know, my ex partner was violent towards me, and I believe he too was an alcoholic with mental health issues, drinking in excess to numb the demons he was battling in his mind. The line “people would encourage him to drink, it was the villagers mentality, said it made him one of them” also sounds familiar, as my ex and I lived in a small remote village in East Yorkshire, full of narrow-minded, gossiping villagers, who have nothing else to do but hang out at the pub, encouraging him to join them. I am so sorry to hear that the grandma couldn’t let go and escape from the granddad, but i hope that the lessons learnt by the uncle are able to help others going forward, much like your post Ana xx
Dealing with alcohol addiction is not an easy task. It needs time and passion both. Your post is amazing. Thanks for sharing.
Very thought-provoking post, hard to read in parts though. Hope it helps people going through something similar,
A really sad story. It reminded me of a relative who was into alcohol addiction but glad he never did hurt any of his family members.
Truly heartbreaking. So much of this goes on behind closed doors too with people not getting the help they need.
Great one Anna! I have personally witnessed alcohol addictions messing up families to the brink. I have seen the helplessness among the family members. It’s an issue that always needs to be addressed before it’s too late. No fun in taking it easy. Passivity only makes it worse. I have a psychiatrist friend and he feels that it is a relatively easier issue to handle when intervened earlier and far more complicated when its late.
Such a powerful post! You’re strong!
The good news for those who are suffering from alcoholic addiction is that there is treatment for them. This treatment is usually done in four major stages. The stages for treating alcoholic addiction include detoxification, medication, psychotherapy and recovery stages.
The Symptoms of alcohol addictions could be masked and sometime mistaken. Just because someone displays symptoms of alcohol addiction it doesn’t mean that is the case. The presence of a few of these symptoms can uncover a number of other problems based on stress and depression.