Skinny? Call me slim
Growing up I was never the pretty one. Instead I was typecast as the freak who everyone loved to hate on. You see in the precious hierarchy that my school created I didn’t fit in. I wasn’t popular, had opinions that went against the ‘popular kids’ code of conduct and worst of all would stick up for the so called losers. Admittedly I wasn’t the best at choosing friends but at least I had some semblance of loyalty that others didn’t seem to have. In short I was a misfit and I hated it. I hated feeling different and I hated the attention that it gave me. All I wanted to do was blend into the background but instead each day there would be fresh hell to encounter. While many of the insults would be centered around my surname ‘De-Jesus’, others would concern my appearance. Rarely were the insults racist, although the occasional ‘you look like a paki’ and ‘are you foreign?’ would be tossed around-instead it was the way I looked that would be the focal point.
As a young girl I was notoriously slim, had crooked teeth, frizzy hair and ungroomed ‘facial hair’- all these assets were something my bullies loved to pick up on. They used to play a game whenever I would come near and use gestures to point to a ‘problem area’ in my appearance, calling me ‘no fun’ when I didn’t play along. How could I laugh at something that caused me physical pain? Even boys that I used to date would make fun of me, telling me they preferred someone ‘who had a little bit of meat’ on their bones. Instead I-their substitute girlfriend as they were not ‘cool enough’ to snag the popular girls- would be their ‘plaything’ to pass the time. After all, they told me that they were only going to get ‘hotter’ and I was going to stay ugly forever. Sure I was half decent when I had make up on but I had the chest of an eight year old boy and a figure to match it. At least that is what they told me and I was conditioned to believe that I would never be good enough.
It seems so petty for our society to be concerned with ‘personal appearance’ but the truth is no matter how judgement free we like to be, we all make assumptions based on first impressions. Some of these bullies didn’t even know me, all they knew was that I was quiet, geeky and slim. I began detesting the word ‘skinny’ and even today I correct people and tell them that I am ‘slim’. You might think that your complimenting someone by saying ‘your so skinny’ but stop and think. Just like the word ‘fat’, skinny is a word that is designed to hurt and has implications surrounding unhealthy body image. The bullies made me hate my body so much that I withdrew into myself, hoping that by keeping quiet they would move onto someone else. But they never did; you look so bony they would say, you look anorexic and ironically it was those who were larger than me who would insult me the most. The teachers did nothing about it, after all they had their favorites and I wasn’t one of them. I wasn’t the cool kid or the prettiest but even the popular kids were not teased about their weight. Where was the justice in that?
There seems to be a double standard when it comes to name calling; if your uncool and are a popular kids doppelganger, your physical appearance would be called into question. Lets call her R, R was popular, tanned and had similar characteristics to me. In fact R was slimmer than I was but because she was ‘popular’ her weight was never called into question. We shared some classes together and I thought that she was super sweet and nice until I realized that she was as fake as the tan she plastered all over her face. Because I grew up in care my personal identity had to be kept secure from certain ‘people’ and I was legally not allowed to join any social media sites until I was 18. That didn’t stop me seeing the abuse that was posted about me and my only true friends N & K would show me the endless tweets and statuses that were written about me. It was cyber bullying pure and simple and R would be the female ringleader, laughing about the way I looked on Twitter.
I became obsessed with taking countless selfies and while many saw it as narcissism it was in fact a way to try and boost my self confidence and pretend that I was happy in my figure and the way I looked. But who was I kidding, I wasn’t happy and the sadness threatened to overcome me. I was sad that all around me friends were becoming ‘hot property’ and I was stuck alone in the corner trying to pretend that I didn’t stick out like a sore thumb. I hated my small breasts and tiny frame and the word ‘skinny’ became poison to my ears. I would spend what felt like hours capturing my figure from countless angles trying to kid myself into thinking that their venomous words were bulls**t. The words felt hollow and I knew that there was something very wrong with me. I would look in mirrors and cry, the words of my tormentors ringing in my ears. Every time a guy looked at me I would feel myself panicking, wondering what I had done to warrant such attention.
So here is why you should never call me skinny. Because of this one word I have BDD, a disorder that has knocked my confidence and I am only being able to deal with now. Because of your insults about my weight I became anxious and depressed, thinking that I could never match up to societies ideal standard of beauty. And because you called me skinny I become prickly when a guy flirts with me, thinking that his motivation for talking to me is not motivated by passion. When I have sex I am conscious of my body, scared that I don’t look womanly enough to be considered attractive. I hide my ribs, aware that they are showing and push my butt out to look more curvaceous. I feel self-conscious in a bikini and am aware that my collarbone is more prominent than it should be. But do you know what, acknowledging that I had BDD and what caused me to have such a distorted perception of the way I look finally helped me come to terms with my SLIM not Skinny figure.
I guess I just have one more thing to get off my chest. You may have wounded me with your words and caused me to have low self-esteem but day by day I am improving . I no longer feel the need to give a s**t about what you guys think nor do I think that my weight is unhealthy. Sure I am slim and sure I am part of the itty bitty parade but do you know what? Like I said in How River Island Helped Me Embrace Small Boobs, I am learning to love my body more and more and its a journey that shows me to appreciate what we have been given. After all isn’t there more important things to be concerned about? Why should I let some losers affect the way I feel in myself, even if some of them used to be my friend. After all the past is the past right? No matter if you are slim, athletic or curvaceous love the body that you are in because if you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else?
Wise words RU Paul…
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I think you have a really nice figure. It’s really awful how people get bullied about the way they look. Bullies are pathetic
I agree with the double standard. In general, our society is plain judgmental and it’s heartbreaking because we are also very biased. Body shaming won’t end soon and we still have a long way to go. And I’m glad that there are people like you, that helps in the battle.
I must admit I have never stopped to think skinny to mean such a bad thing for someone same way as word fat would. Great post Ana
I don’t know where the saying ‘… words will never harm you’ came from. What rubbish, words are devastating. Making peace with ourselves is such a vital step to living wholeheartedly and kudos for you for marching towards self-acceptance so courageously.
Bulliying is something that has this negative effect on ones growing up,.. I never experienced it but I feel for those who did.
Even the word slim is so subjective, the same with any kind of size. What is big or small to someone is totally different to someone else.
I used to be bullied for my weight when younger, I was never fat but was larger than the slim girls. This is a worry I have with my Daughter, she has always been slim but since her illness and medication she has put on weight, which her consultant made a point of in front of her recently. Luckily, she is quite a sensible girl and realises why and we have spoken about it.
Wow! What a personal post. Sounds like you’ve been on a real journey and are far happier now than you were all those years back!
It’s so sad that you people victimized you because of this. You have a lovely figure and are a very pretty girl both inside and out, I hope you learn to love yourself more x
I hate the word skinny – my hairs bristle when I get called it because somehow it always seems to have negative undertones doesn’t it?
Bullies suck!
You are a beautiful and caring person. Keep doing what you are doing lovely, haters will hate, balls to them 🙂 xx
Surround yourself with those that lift you higher. Keep your head up and love yourself and model how you believe society should think. Happy monday!
I love that you worked so hard to counter the effects of what you were hearing. Children can be so cruel, and those words cut deep. It’s wonderful your self-esteem continues to grow now!
This breaks my heart to read. You are a gorgeous lady and I think so many of us go through similar situations. Kids are mean sometimes because kids don’t really understand. I feel like that’s why they make things like 10-year reunions. Because kids grow confident. Kids grow up to become something bigger and realize that everything else doesn’t really matter. It’s what’s inside that counts.
Iust confess that I am guilty of saying ‘look how skinny you are’ to friends. Never really thinking about how that make them feel, I will be saying slim from now on.
I don’t like the term skinny admittedly and people should not be castigated against because they are one size or another, it is no one elses business x
I’m so sorry to hear what you went through – kids can be so cruel, and don’t realise how much it can affect someone’s confidence for the rest of their lives. I’m so happy you’re embracing your gorgeous body shape and rocking such awesome outfits!
Great point! My husband uses the phrase small a good bit, and I have found that I prefer that over skinny.
I personally would love to be called skinny, but I respect your history to call you slim. I’m sorry you were bullied so badly in school. Seems every supermodel book I’ve read recently had the same experience.
I feel like skinny is just as bad as the word fat. I was the one they made fun of in my family. My sister was heavy set and I was fit but back then you were skinny. You are beautiful. Its horrible when your growing up how kids can act. Then as you get older they are the ones that have a self conscious problem.
I’m sorry to hear what you went through when you were young. It’s sad this is happening. I too was skinny when I was young. It’s good to hear that you’re keeping yourself stronger everyday to push all the negativity away.
You were not that skinny, that was a perfect body for your stunning outfit that really fits and always looks good on you. Don’t mind the past, it won’t help you to walk forward. Just remain to embrace what you have now and continue to grow spiritually, physically and emotionally.
I think you have an amazing figure! Sorry you were bullied because of it and I was always the other end of the spectum in that i was always the ‘chunky’ one!
It makes me sad to read of all that you went through whilst growing up, no-one should have to deal with cruelty like this. However, I’m so happy to see you coming to terms with it all and learning that their opinions don’t matter, that you are a strong and beautiful woman inside and out. Good on you x
Man, kids are mean. I’m so glad you’ve gotten to a place now where you can recognize the root of where your BDD comes from – that’s the beginning of being able to forgive and move on, while learning to love and accept the body you live in.
I love your story and the journey that you’ve clearly taken to become what you are today. I like the fact that you’ve used social media to help you love yourself too, even if it was very hard. I was bullied too so wouldn’t wish that upon anybody and am so glad to hear that you’re learning to love what you are. It shouldn’t be a problem of you being you so lets make 2017 an awesome one when we love ourselves that bit more.
Bullying can come in all forms and people need to start realizing this. You are gorgeous and never let anyone get you down!
<3 http://alpluslex.com/
Really well said and its so smart to just not think back to more challenging times. Just love yourself and keep that good attitude, girl!
I was the opposite as a kid as I was the chubby one. My boys are skinny and get their share of comments too. Kids are cruel and trust me I know all to well about body image as I struggled with it as a younger adult.
Glad you persevered through all the bullying. It is sad that it’s taken this long for people to recognize the problem which may only get worse given the “Bully-in-Chief” headed to the White House. Your stories can certainly help others deal with similar experiences because you’re willing to talk about them.
I hate the word skinny. I’m sorry to hear about what you went through
You have a stunning figure. Kids can be so horrible making fun of anyone who is different. As a mum I make sure I teach my children to be inclusive I never want to hear them making fun of someone. I looked like a boy until I was 15, luckily I went to an all girls school so didn’t have to worry about the boys making fun of me.
this reminds me a lot of my own school experience where I was mercilessly bullied. It hurts and scars, but rise about it as you’re a much stronger person x
I was bullied in school for my teeth. I was called a vampire on more than one occasion and for whatever reason, because my name is Joanna, kids would call me hoanna. Words hurt. I’m sorry that you had to go through the turmoil of being bullied.
I was never bullied horribly thank goodness, but I did get dry patches of skin and this boy would always mock that. Thankfully he moved, but his comments did sting.
I’m sorry you were bullied. I hate when people are cruel.
What a powerful post..Definitely going to share this…And you are beautiful…Going to subscribe to you right now!
Lauren
http://WWW.TheZenFashionista.Com
Regardless of our size we should all try to celebrate how we are. You sound like you are a really strong person, and you are of course stunning. Don’t let the bullies beat you!
I was bullied a lot as well when I was a kid. It’s astonishing and sad how rude kids can be! I believe it’s because they’re trying to fit in with others and/or victims of bullying themselves, whether it’s at home or school.
Sorry to hear this, I was bullied too in school – It’s horrendous! I think you look fabulous xo
I absolutely despise the word skinny. For some people is just word but everyone need to think before they speak calling someone is skinny is as bad as calling someone fat.
Growing up can be so hard sometimes – I sub in a Jr. High and man it is rough. I feel horrible for my children who have to go and live it ever day!
Words have such powerful meaning. Bullies are cruel and it’s amazing how inconsistent children are in their taunts. I love that how you ended this post. Body Positivity is not an easy thing and I wish you the best in that journey.
Your figure is perfect! Every shape and size is needed in this world. We have to be careful with the words we use to describe people.
I was bullied too. Not as bad as you by the sound of it, but it’s awful. If your not popular, or atleast friends with the popular ones, you’ll probably get bullied. It sucks.
I’m so sorry you went through all of this people can be so cruel. Honestly, I know this post is about bad times, but reading through it, it actually made me smile..because the whole time I was thinking. JUST LOOK AT YOU NOW.
You are beautiful, successful, inspiring. Who’s laughing now?!
You have nice figure. You are not skinny. Sorry you were bullied because of it
My sister couldn’t stand being called skinny either. And hated when people said, “you can never been too skinny.” In her case she was unhealthy and all the comments did was remind her of it.
sounds like you had a lot of insecure people who may have been jealous of you. People are ridiculous.
So sad to hear the cruel remarks kids made to you in school. I was very thin and small growing up and I think people can be very jealous of that. You would think being called skinny is a compliment, but jealous people will turn it into an insult. Just be happy with who you are and know that the person insulting you is probably insure with him/herself.
Aw, I’m sorry you went through such a hard time in school! It’s great that as we get older and can remove ourselves from that crowd, the worries can fade away in time.
You are so gorgeous! It’s a shame what focus our society puts on body types and what’s ‘ideal’. You have come so far though, and you are beautiful! Thank you for writing this beautiful piece.
Ahhhh I feel for you!!! I was always slim my whole life. People sham it just as mush as people “fat sham”. Then when I was preggo it was the worst! Since I’m naturally slim I didn’t get big at all and people loved to hate on me for it so I never took pictures of myself. If I posted a picture on fb I would get 53892 comments pretty much hating on me for it -_- so I avoided it as much as possible. One of the things I regrets for sure is letting idiots get into my mind because looking back I wish I had all the photos I was too scared to take.
Sorry to hear you struggle with BDD. Hopefully you are are able to find the support you need to overcome and remain confident in your own skin!
I never have experienced bullying. I seemed to luck out in that department. I always tried to be friendly with everyone, it seems like the right thing to do.
I feel awful hearing about what you went through – some people are just the absolute worst. You are so strong and write about your journey so eloquently.
Amazing how cruel people can be and these words stay with us. Looks like you overcame your bullying.
You’re beautiful <3
love your honesty and personality fuck the haters!!
Good for you for overcoming this harsh childhood! Glad you are using your mess to create your message! Keep spreading the word! I’m sure you will reach many others that will be helped by your transparency!
I love your messages of self love and appreciation. You are beautiful and I love this outfit!
Omg I love this outfit and those lace up booties! Every shape and size is perfect your perfect the way you are!
You are beautiful! So sad you had to go through this. Kids these days can be so cruel and it makes me so sad. I just want to lock my kids up and keep them from those kids!
Kaitlyn
http://www.mypostpartumlife.com
Bullying is so horrible. It’s has just gotten worse with the anonymous online world. More and better communication is definitely a part of the answer, hopefully some young girls will hear stories like your’s and get some hope and perspective.
I sometimes don’t know how I made it through school – kids are so mean. You have a lovely figure so they were probably very jealous
This is a wonderful post, hopefully it will help people to understand the difficulty that surround eating disorders and BDD and no one should ever comment on other people’s bodies….It’s hard not to, I know, but it’s amazing how words can hurt, even when they are meant to be funny or kind…
I too was very slim in school and suffered schoolyard abuse. Gosh I hated high school and I am so glad that is many years behind me!
Skinny, fat, big boned, chubby – although the are just words they do dig deep. You are beautiful and strong! Thank you for a refreshingly honest post xx
You’ve got a lovely figure – sorry to hear you experienced bullying growing up though x
Oh, I can totally identify with being called skinny, even now, after 4 kids, some folks still insist on it! You’re right, we are all guilty of assumptions but some of those are cruel. Sorry to hear that those words affected you in such a bad way, glad to know that you are managing it.
PS: love the choker and boots.
I think you’re stunning the way you are, bullies can be horrendous and they don’t even need a legitimate reason half the time! I totally agree though, calling someone skinny can be just as harmful as calling them fat!
Hello, What a painful upbringing. You’ll be picked on for whatever makes you different. I was the tall, thin one too but whatever anyone said I was always pretty comfortable with my lot. I personally don’t think it’s a bad hand to be dealt. Glad you’re feeling more comfortable in your skin now.
It makes me sad that people take enjoyment out of making others feel bad about themselves. Making feel good about themselves is so important. I feel we are so judgmental of ourselves wihout others adding to it. Well done on sharing, I’m sure many can relate in some way or another. When I was younger, I used to be called skinny, but didn’t mind as it is usually about how people say it more than the word itself. I didn’t however appreciate a boy calling me daddy-longlegs when I was in primary! x
I used to be bullied when I was small. Hence, I understand what it would be like when we get surrounded by the bullies. The bullies are ridiculous without sense of shame.
I hate how focused our society is on appearance and what everyone should look like! If we were all exactly the same the world would be a very boring place! Sorry you struggled at school! Children can be very mean! xx
I really enjoy reading how honest your posts are!! A lot of how you feel are often at times how I have felt at some point! I can guarantee that these people who picked on you and would make fun out of your appearance had their own issues they were struggling with and heir own insecurities. With bullies its often the case that they pick other people to torture so that their own problems will be pushed to the back of their minds. Its no excuse, its noy okay regardless. Just look how far you have come though, you should be so proud of yourself!!
I don’t understand why there are people who could say skinny, fat, chubby words. I feel you, I also called before as skinny, I was also bullied at school. You’re not skinny, your figure is good as a model and I’m really happy that you flaunt it cheer up!
Great post, I love how oyu always put yourself out there and don’t hold back what you are thinking/feeling. Bullies are the worst and I really think more shoudl be done in schools these days, especially now that cyber bullying is a much bigger issue. I have always been really self concious about my weight too and still am today but am trying to live with it rather than worrying about what other people think
You look great in that outfit. River Island is great for catering to all figure types. I’m small and in school my name was Small Kathryn……and I became very upset about it. The people who tormented you in school most likely don’t look half as good as you now. Stay positive!
Girl, I was in the same boat growing up with being told I’m skinny. Most of the time it’s said as a compliment and some will jokingly tell me that I need some meat on me. But I decided to not let a word define me. When someone tells me that I’m skinny, I smile and say “Thanks, I work really hard to stay this way.” So they can see that instead of being ashamed of it, it come off as I’m proud to be this way!
I was always picked on and made fun of as i was short and a late developer. I think you look amazing, I would love to be naturally slender but we are all different and the world would be a very boring place if we were all the same
There is definitely many double standards in our society. I was bullied in high school and fortunately bullying back then did not have the social media component added in. Today it is mplified online. So sad what people endure at the tongue of someone else. I try everyday to make sure my kids feel confident, strong and powerful so when the day comes to face a bully they can too overcome.
I used to be skinny myself so I really can understand. Stay positive is what I can say I was made fun of myself and felt so bad. I love your outfit, you look really great.
I love this post! I think it’s so rude to call someone skinny and I think it’s just as offensive as calling someone fat.
You’re beautiful but you make a very strong point. A lot of people don’t realize how hurtful word choice can be toward people and affects people of all weights and body types. I feel like it’s better to simply comment on a person’s qualities rather than on their appearance unless you say something simple like, “You look wonderful today!”
I love the fact that you speaking out will also inspire others to love their body more. It’s important that we spread this kind of positivity as well for all the young people out there.
I’m glad you are learning to love your body more every day. I haven’t been a victim of bullying. I went to a really small and friendly school.
Your posts always got me into thinking. Bullying is horrible. Sometimes kids can be more cruel than adults and that’s what scares me the most. How can someone raise a child knowing this. Or what if you’re raising the child that is a bully. I honestly don’t know what’s worse.
I tried to be pretty antisocial because that way I won’t get hurt. I like being me. I like my friends. I am surrounded with nice people. But, I wasn’t before. So I choose my friends wisely. But, I always choose myself before anyone else. I don’t understand people who would go out while they are sick (high temperature for example). Even if I am just tired I would call it a night and go to bed. I also hate depending on someone. Don’t get me wrong, I love to help people, and I am always happy when someone does me a favor, but I hate depending on someone.
And you look perfect just the way you are. Don’t let anyone anymore get you into thinking that you’re not.
Bullies can be so cruel, I totally agree with skinny being quite a rude thing to say.
As we taught my niece and as I’ll teach my growing daughter, “kindness comes from the heart”. It doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside, it’s the inside that counts!
I’m purposely not commenting on your outfit, figure or face because behind every outfit, figure and face there is a REAL person that goes MUCH deeper than all of those superficial things!
I became anorexic because of bullying at school …… at 13 I tried to take my own life for the first time so I know bullying well and to this date nothing much as changed there will always be people who pull others down to make themselves feel better about their own flaws – its jealousy
So sorry to hear about what you had to go through in school. I also really hate the word ‘skinny’ (and the word ‘fat’). I’ve been called both at different points in my life and they hurt equally. I do think it’s great that you’re learning to love your body more! I think it’s so important that we all learn to love the skin we’re in, no matter what our shape or size.
Before I co-founded the association I am Wonderful, based on de deconstruction of female beauty and personality standards, I had never imagined how much body shaming in your age has been creating entire generations of unsicure girls! I was one of them, once. My eating disorders fortunately didn’t last more than 5 years but I’m never sure my self acceptance struggle has truly come to an end. Society always asks you more than you can (want to) be and this enters in our brain more than we can never expect.
You make some good points. I think bullies will nitpick just about anything they can find. I think the things they find to make fun of aren’t necessarily real. They probably have to do with their own insecurities.
No matter what other ppl say, the main thing is to accept and love yourself and that way they won’t have “power” over you. That’s the key! I love your attitude and thinking! And the pictures are awesome, love the contrast of the outfit and the street art in the background!
I feel like I was the opposite of you when I was in school. I had BDD, but I saw myself as fat (even though I was far from it.) I was made fun of for being shy, I’m still shy. But I agree no one should call you skinny if it makes you uncomfortable. I”m glad that you don’t give a shit anymore, because you really are a strong person and you are wonderful blogger!
I honestly think that people don’t have a right to judge anyone on how they look but I went through some similar things when I was growing up. You look amazing though!
There will always be people that are there to put you down no matter what way it is. I think that you have proved so many people wrong!
I was also not that popular in my school time and many people directly or indirectly pass comments on me. I know how it feels but don’t worry you look great. You dressing is super awesome. You go girl. Cheers.
I was bullied because i wasn’t thin enough and my body shape wasn’t the right shape, small boobs and a big butt, why people think its ok to comment on things like that and why it even matters is beyond me!
Bullying sucks and annoys the hell out of me. It is something I truly can’t stand at all. Sorry to hear about your experience.
I was bullied all through school because I was a little curvier than the rest of the girls, and that has had an affect on me my whole life, and probably always will. I’m super self-conscious, but I’m getting better. You have a beautiful figure. I can’t stand bullies.
Thank you so much for sharing, i’m so sorry for what you went through kids can be evil.
I was constantly teased about my nose growing up and I still get sensitive about it today. It’s amazing how other’s words can effect your view of yourself.
Bullying isn’t a good thing. Once you became a victim a part of you will be forever be scarred and it will sometimes affect the way you interact with others. I was also a victim of bullying on my younger years and it didn’t help me personally.
Don’t mind those people who bullied you for being slim, just always bear in my mind that there are a lot of women who’d like to have a body like you. Once, I became so depressed with my weight, but when I look around the gym, I have seen many women larger than me, so I told myself these women would like to lose weight even just the same weight as mine. 🙂
Self love is the most important thing and I love how you’ve overcome all of these obstacles to be where you are now
Sorry to hear about your struggle. People just need to learn to be nice to each other.
This is such a nice post for the moral of right wording. I’ve also been called skinny a lot when I was a teen, though now I realize, even if there’s a better word for everything, sometimes we have to hold back and think if it’s really worth it to say something about you or a person.
kids can be very harmful between themselves. Probably the same kids would see you now and admire you, not only for the good lucking you are but for your personality and the good work you do with your blog. However, the most important person that needs to know that is you <3
The world is very quick to scoff and ridicule appearances that do not fit a particular stereotype. One needs to look beyond this as each individual is really unique.
I think that it’s awful that people are bullied for the way that they look. I think the bullies are just showing their own insecurities and the issues that they have with their own image.
I am sure so many of those bullies were just so jealous of you seen it a hundred times. Its so good you can recognise patterns of behaviour now and hopefully you can heal and move on. You look stunning, so just keep smiling and think of the good things X X
Personally I haven’t been bullied and actuall yI find it hard to believe that you were not pretty in your teens. You look so amazing. Those bullies must have envied you. It’s so easy to turn own unsecure feelings to something negative towards others.
No one should ever call anyone skinny or fat or thin or overweight. We all have our own struggles and it’s not going to make life better if we judge each other by the way we look. I love this post, it’s powerful and inspiring!
I was the same when I was younger. I was always the skinny one and I HATED it. Now I’ve gained weight and I hate that too… I need to find an inbetween. I agree, no one should be calling people skinny or over weight.
You honestly look amazing! You are beautiful. xx
OMG, can’t believe you weren’t pretty when growing up. You look absolutely stunning. Oh yes, I’ve been there too, trying to combat my persistent acne and florid skin. I think you’ve hit the nail on its head. We have to feel comfortable in our own skin, find our style and love ourselves 🙂
Bullying is so scary. My brothers started dealing with it really bad last year. They were being called so many horrible things and I hated seeing what it did to them emotionally.
I think most of us can say we’ve been bullied at some point or another. I was very badly bullied as a child. x
I think I know what you’re talking about. Though I’m very happy for all the curvy ladies who have earned the hard way to be respected, I don’t think it’s fair to pay back on us by calling us “skinny”.
So sorry to hear about your experiences at school. I think you have a fabulous figure! Love the outfit too x
I actually used to be extremely skinny too growing up. I would eat and eat and NEVER gain the weight and now ha ha ha now I can lose 5-10lbs lol. Your a strong girl and reading some of your blog post I know you still have a lot of hurt in you. I just want everyday for you to let some of those evil words people have said to you and continue to tell yourself those words are not true. You are a wonderful woman and just keep being yourself. Dont let even the word “skinny” get under your skin (pun intended).
I recognise what you said about being different in school in the way that my opinions, clothes, interests etc. were never in line with what the ‘cool kids’ liked, so I often felt alone or like ‘a weirdo’ because of that. And I constantly had to hear that “I was too skinny”, “I should eat more”, “Guys don’t like skinny girls”, “Real girls aren’t that skinny, they should have curves”, “Life must be easy being skinny”, “I must have anorexia, how else could I be that skinny?” etc. and it has made me hate the word ‘skinny’ so much.
Sadly bullies will always pick up on our insecurities. As a fat person I don’t have an issue with people calling me fat. It’s true. It’s a description. Its also quite fun to watch their reactions when you say yes. Well done I am. I get that words can hurt but I’d be more offended for being told I’m a horrible person than being fat.
My heart breaks for you reading this. Even though you have been through some hard stuff, being able to share it like this shows tremendous strength. Hugs to you Ana!
Those kids were wrong at the end, look at you now! You look awesome and beautiful with a really nice body :).
High School was terrible for me too and people would take the mick out of my surname as well. So pathetic when I look back on it and where are these people now? Stuck in the same town, with the same boring lives.
HA. Who’s laughing now?!
I feel it is really irritating to call someone skinny or to say that you don’t eat enough. Everyone has a different figure and it’s unfair to judge by their eating habits or by anything else.
Fab post again. I think people will always judge on first impressions which is horrible. I was always bullied for being flat chested x
Such a great post, people forget that negativity can go all ways and attack all shapes and sizes! Good on you for standing strong now 🙂
I can totally relate, I was what one might call different too and was picked on because of it. I was the same except the teeth and must admit it has scared me. In fact I was moved from one school to another because of it and it was so traumatic I’ve actually blocked it out so have large memory gaps in relation to my childhood. The memory of the feeling are still though as I’m crying reading this. Over the years I have learnt to distance myself from people like that and hope that you have too.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that! I’ve been bullied, too… I think most of us have at some point. It’s something we’ll remember forever! Cyber bullying is so much worse a lot of the times, because they say such vile things they’d never ever say to our faces. You are gorgeous, and you were gorgeous then. Bullying says more about them than it does about you!
It’s so hard to be a woman… constantly looked at and criticized for our appearances for the rest of our lives. Society needs to change. I’m sorry you had this experience. Writing about it will help others struggling with the same issues.
I was a victim of bullying as a kid at school, for my red hair and my first attempts at make up. It stays with you!
I LOVE this! Too many times people don’t think before they say, and what you said was said in such a mature and graceful way. We are ALL beautiful, slim, curvy, light, dark, tall, short, everyone is a person. You are stunning and eloquent.
Oh man I can totally related as I went through similar bullying growing up. I don’t get why people are so cruel and why rather than accepting everyone’s difference they choose to mock those difference. I’m so happy that you’ve embraced yourself. You’re beautiful inside and out.
I really hate the words “skinny” and “fat”. I just don’t see any need for it, you are so right. Everyone is a different size so why must we pick at people.
I can’t imagine that you’ve been anything but stunning. It’s terrible that our society is so fixated on things that bullying is a problem. It needs to be stopped. I’ve never been bullied before but I can imagine that it’s so hurtful.
Growing up I wasn’t happy about my body too, but, thank God, I was never bullied about it. That’s a very awful experience, but try to see the positive side: it made you stronger. You are now a successful blogger! <3
It’s odd how different some areas are. I grew up to think slim and skinny where the exact same thing with no extra meaning behind it, and for most in my area, it’s the same. In that way, it makes both a compliment! But my mum always say the same about how it’s better to say slim than skinny. which I completely understand! I think it can definitely depend on how a person says it but in any way, keep thinking of them both as a complement! 😀
First of all, I think you are beautiful. I think calling someone skinny can be just as hurtful as calling someone fat. This also explains the many eating disorders and girls trying to live up to society’s demands, seeking acceptance. Who are we to judge anyways right….
I can so relate with your words. Although I was not slim, I was not fat either. I was short. Growing up, most of the girls in my class towered over me and of course, I earned the nickname “shorty.” The only way I rose above them was to do well in school. Having a short stature has nothing to do with who I really am. I can and will achieve what I set my mind to. You go ahead and just be yourself. People can be so critical of others, they should know they too have their own flaws.
Calling someone skinny as a derogatory term is as bad as calling someone fat – it upsets, it offends, it is a unwanted opinion and shouldn’t be bandied about.
I think you sometimes have to find a positive in a negative otherwise everything someone else says will be taken the wrong way.
I’m glad you’re overcoming you’re childhood trauma. Bullying is never fun for anyone and we’ve all been subject to it at some point.
I disagree with the whole statement about not using the word “skinny”. Bullies will paint a caricature of you using any words, or by any means necessary. They may well have used the word slim as well.
The point is you shouldn’t become fearful or a word, action or anything else because it triggers some traumatic memory. Embrace it. It’s part of your existence, be it good or bad. It’s who you are.
The more you’re comfortable and accepting of your negative characteristics (as well all have), the easier those memories become and the harder it is for bullies to get under your skin.
Fuck bullies, but be happy with exactly who you are and not one fibre less.
I love your clutch it is so gorgeous! This mesh is very chic, I am a fan as well of it. Love your shoes as well. This post is very inspirational, I love how open you are about these sort of things. More people should be like this, I love your photos 🙂 http://www.bauchlefashion.com/2017/01/lingerie-with-benifits.html
As someone who has been through anorexia I know all to well what you mean. I know people mean well most of the time so I just stopped taking it personally. I am content with way my body is now. Its not perfect but its mine and thats all I need. You are beautiful and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise <3
People don’t often realize that calling someone skinny is as bad as calling someone fat. It’s easily thought that it’s totally propriety give comments on a skinny persons body – I don’t get that.
I couldn’t agree more with this post. Calling someone skinny is just as bad as calling someone fat. It’s just plain rude. People come in all shapes and sizes and none of them should be shamed.
What you went through is horrible but its amazing to see you came through the other end and are now so confident and learnt not to care!
Gosh, it is disgusting how people tend to call others name for their physical appearance. It is largely because of the beauty standards set up by the media but also a lot of households do not encourage politeness either is what I have come to realize. Everybody is beautiful the way they are and I like how you cover such important topics nicely on your blog. xx
Jadirah Sarmad at Jasmine Catches Butterflies ʚϊɞ
Bullying is so truly awful. Once it’s happened to you .. it never leaves you all the way. Even though we say we don’t care .. there is still a soft-spot in our soul that will never quite go away. I’m also glad you pointed out the difference between skinny and slim. I didn’t realize skinny could be considered derogatory. Now I’ll know. (ps: I’m so sorry you had to endure everything you did)
Being very skinny growing up I experienced this too. It caused me a lot of insecurities. I feel you. I liked to this post my from blog-I hope that’s okay. I’d love to hear from you again if you still want/have the time to do a guest post collab or something? If not, either way, hugs and love from afar. You’re wonderful!
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I always feel so blessed when people are so open and raw like this.
It’s devastating what effect childhood bullying can have on us even when we reach adulthood 🙁 Sorry you had to experience such horrid comments which are totally untrue x
My 14 year old is 5ft 7 and a size 8 so I know exactly what you mean in this post. She hates being called skinny xx💜
I’d agree and say you’re slim rather than skinny. I always think skinny is when someone has lost too much weight, whereas this looks like a natural shape for you, a very comfortable and attractive weight.
I’m so sorry you had to endure such awfulness at school. I think body shapes change such a lot over time, I always had a relatively ‘hourglass figure’ but after having children my curves have definitely changed. I think you have a lovely figure.
My mummy was taunted and called fat at school which she hated, so can sympathise with you. Its not nice and does give you a complex. My mummy thinks you have flourished into a beautiful young lady x
I love what you have on. Stunning outfit.
I can’t stand bullies. Their lives suck so they try to make others as miserable as they are. I have never met a happy bully.
I think you have a very enviable figure, one that a lot of women aspire too. Bullying isn’t acceptible on any level
I use to be called bulimic at school all the time, I hated it, because I wasn’t! Just loved my food and was very active!