We all go through life being told to ‘chin up and smile’ because positive thinking can cure all your troubles. Depressed? You will be right as rain in no time, lost a loved one don’t worry time is a great healer. No matter your predicament there appears to be a solution for everything. The truth is ultimately a lot darker and when it comes to grieving, mental health or other related issues I believe that society chooses to turn the other cheek. Now hear me out, how many of you have been told to smile because it will make you feel better only to realize that you are just acting out the part of a character that is not ‘you’. How many of you are forced to pretend you are something you are not, because those around you are too scared to acknowledge what you are going through?
When I pretend to be happy I feel like a fraud but when I am honest about how I feel I am condemned for being ‘negative’. It seems to be an endless cycle I can’t escape and the only way out is to pretend that I am ok. I tell people I am fine when I am clearly not because I don’t want them to worry about me and I want to pretend that I am stronger than people think. But and its a big but; since becoming a blogger I have slowly come to terms with my mental health issues and have been less afraid to ‘truly’ speak my mind.Over the last year or so I have learned to not ‘hide the way I feel’ and be more up front about my feelings with both the people around me and myself. Because the biggest ‘disbeliever’ was me, who truly believed that all those people who told me ‘I was just sensitive’ or being a ‘complete drama queen’ was right. But hell, what do they know? It’s time we be more upfront with both ourselves and loved ones because whether they want to hear it or not, mental health issues is far more common than they would like to admit.I believe as an ambassador for mental health it is my duty to be honest and the first line of duty is to admit that it is ok to not be ok. If you are feeling down don’t hide your true feelings because you don’t want to be judged or spend years shrouded in your own negativity because you feel like your mental health is a burden. Instead be honest; the people that care will stick by you and if someone chooses to not acknowledge your mental health struggles, then they are being ignorant and all toxic influences should be removed from your life in order to create a better ‘healing process’.
Mental health should never be seen as a burden and I want to be able to place more emphasis on government led services such as counselling, therapy and awareness campaigns to rehabilitate mental health sufferers and show them it is ok to ask for help. My own mental state of mind is completely damaged because I was not offered the help I needed nor did I acknowledge that I had mental health issues because I didn’t want to be seen as ‘insane’. As someone whose family has a history of severe mental health issues, I was taught that to be depressed, anxious or exhibit behaviors that deviated away from the social norm was to be abnormal and abnormalities often meant that you would become sectioned.
I have an uncle with severe mental health issues and his mental state of mind –despite being in his 40’s- is of someone 20 years younger, yet unlike other family members I never judged him nor did I pity him because he didn’t need my pity he needed the help he never received. When he did something that was considered a danger to society he would be carted off to a temporary asylum and stayed for a few weeks at most before being ‘let off his leash’ yet he was never given the support and counselling he needed. His mental health was often viewed as a joke and people would label him as an ‘idiot’ which saddens me because mental health does not have an impact on your intelligence nor should he be segregated into the role of a cardboard cut-out stereotype. Every few months he will suffer a relapse and so the cycle continues with his health deteriorating by the second. I worry about him because I have seen the way that people laugh at him and the society that he lives in sees disability and mental health as something to be ashamed of.
Is our society really so backwards that they must label people with mental disabilities and health issues as ‘retarded’, a ‘spaz’ or ‘stupid’? I despise all these labels because it should be ok to talk about mental health issues without being judged for speaking out and it should be ok to be open and honest about our own battles with mental health. It is my belief that we ‘label’ things that we don’t understand because to us that is how we ‘make sense of the world’. But using ‘negative labels’ like calling someone ‘stupid’ simply because they might have a personality disorder or show symptoms of other mental health issues does not make it fair for us to judge them on the basis of ‘ill conceived pre-conceptions’ or archaic stereotypes. Instead, show compassion and show support; if a loved one is unable to deal with their emotions do not call them a drama queen, if a loved one hears voices in their heads ‘don’t call them crazy and above all if a loved one states that they are feeling ‘suicidal’ don’t ignore them, instead reach out an olive branch and promise to be there for them, every step of the way.
After childhood and teenage trauma I found it difficult to rebuild my self-confidence and be confident in my own skin but I found that acknowledging my own mental health issues was the first step to dealing with my demons rather than burying my head in the sand every time the demons struck. And this is the issue; we are taught that hiding the way we feel and acting like ‘normal human beings’ is standard protocol when in reality how can we define normality? One day my uncle appears to be mentally sane and the next he has forgotten how to handle money and is giving it all away or other days he is playing with fire. One minute I feel happy and the next I feel like my world has come crashing down and there is no way out of the darkness. But this is the point I am trying to make; stop trying to label mental health as something to be dismissed and stop discouraging men, women, girls and boys from coming forward and being able to step forward with candor. While I am now at the stage where I feel comfortable enough to share my struggles with anxiety and depression there have been many periods during my life where I was forced to suppress my feelings, where I was angry at being ‘so god damn emotional all the time’. I was taught that it was not ok to cry and that I was just being a ‘baby’ when most of the time I was ‘crying for no reason’. But here’s the thing; crying does not make you weak, your past does not define you and ‘noone cries for no reason’. Behind every emotion is a trigger and whether you know the root cause or not, it’s ok to not understand how mental health issues work.
I hope that we now live in a world where coming forward about mental health issues is not ‘seen as scandalous’ but instead celebrated by others, who too have struggled to come to terms with their own mental health. I hope that we have moved past this ‘archaic stereotype’ of mental health issues making you ‘crazy’ and that society begins to recognize what it must implement in order to support our mental health needs. Instead of using all our hard earned taxes to fund Mp’s ridiculously lavish lifestyles, how about you do something about the disastrous NHS ‘mental health’ referral schemes? It’s not fair that young vulnerable children are forced to wait months, sometimes years, when they are struggling to hold on. After all, after years of struggling to gain access to the mental health support services that I needed, there are issues which to this day still need ‘resolving’. I still have problems trusting others, after being abused by a parent figure that I was meant to call my stepmum, I have problems with perception of self, after being bullied about the way that I looked and when someone uses a certain ‘tone’ of voice or makes an off hand comment- that they might not have meant maliciously- I take it personally and struggle to see them in the same light.
And don’t even get me started on Doctor’s and GP’s attitudes towards young vulnerable adults, who prescribe pill after pill, without bothering to diagnose the root cause of a person’s mental health issues. At one point I was on so much medication that the side effects of each pill was making me feel even more suicidal than I was in the first place. Thankfully, I managed to wean myself off my ‘pill dependency’ but so many others will be on pills for life, because it is the only coping mechanism that they have been given. I mean sure, pills help to an extent but what about counselling? What about CBT? Why are so many people driven to taking their lives and why is there not more support networks in place to aid those with mental health issues? Some things we may never know but one thing is for certain; whether you know someone who suffers with mental health issues or are a ‘sufferer’ yourself, always find a reason to keep fighting. Because when you give up the fight, that’s when your world will come crashing down …
What Are Your Thoughts On Mental Health?
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My son has suffered pretty severely from mental health challenges since his teens. He coped by becoming an addict. It was the first time the topic of mental illness had touched my life in such a profound way. Throughout the years he was in and out of treatment I learned so much from him .. others in the group sessions .. and doctors. At the end of the day it’s an illness just like any other that can happen to the body. It’s frustrating to me that it’s so stigmatized .. because that only makes people not want to talk about it .. hide and not seek help. Instead they turn to other things in an attempt to feel better and the cycle continues. In kids whose brains are still developing .. those feel-good methods can have life long implications .. which in turn leads to more mental illness. On and on it goes. Thank-you for the conversation .. it’s one I have a soft spot in my heart for
Thank you for writing this post. I’ve struggled with depression for many years and am still struggling with that as well as PMDD for the last 5-6 years. I chose to tell very few people in my circle of friends and even family because of fear of stigmatization and embarrassment. As if I had a choice right? It’s almost as if we are judged for not having a smile on our faces every day of the week. But if you have a more “accepted” disease no one will question why you are not feeling well or why you can’t do certain things. Because people can’t see it. When you can’t see something it’s hard for you to believe it’s there. If the issue was a broken leg then yes by all means don’t go running. But since mental health can’t be “seen” then there must be some way for us to just “get over it.” I really enjoyed your post as I have your others on mental health issues. I will be sharing.
Love the outfit and love the post! So important to be okay with the things that may not be okay.
Depression isn’t easy to cope with or explain. It’s one of those things that not all can understand either so getting support from friends isn’t always easy or something one might consider looking for. I think it’s great you are tackling this topic and sharing your story here as I am sure that it will helps others.
I love your posts like these where you bare it all and share your experiences to spread awareness. I have had mental health issues in the past and that used to be super stressful as if the health issue wasn’t enough. People do not consider a mental health issue as something serious rather relate it to be pretentious or cowardice, I hope more and more people can understand the serious implications it can have on one’s life and overall behavior.
My friend is a psychiatrist and I once attended his seminar on handling and accepting mental health issues. He says the first step towards a better life is acceptance of the presence of an issue. That’s true in most cases I guess. the beginning is the toughest part!
You can fight if you don’t accept that something exists!
I think Ana that you are super brave for speaking out about something so fragile to most people. I think you are right that being a blogger gives you an outlet you didn’t have before to be able to care less what others are thinking and to get down what you are feeling. I think you are an amazing person. Don’t feel you are less than because of having a mental illness. Sometimes those struggles make you a stronger person but you don’t have to be pretending to be any stronger because you already are. You have my full support and you have a friend here.
Mental illness is really a serious health problem that’s in dire need of attention. I’ve seen so many people struggling and feeling vulnerable because no one is taking them seriously when they open up about their illness. It’s just so sad to think that the lack of attention to this matter may cost the lives of so many people.
“When you’ll give up the fight, the world will come crashing down”
So true. Loved this post. It’s okay to be sad sometimes but not to loose. Thanks for sharing this.
The point is really nice. But how can one handle if all their life is without of support. If they even reveal feelings, people say it you are making a big deal and thus begins the mental issues. How do you handle such stuff?
I think more and more people are talking about mental health these days online and that’s only a good thing as it makes people not feel alone.
First of all thank you for the blog you shared. Sometimes the problems we experience are so heavy that we can get drugs and sleep. I think it’s best to stay calm and give good suggestions to ourselves. I am very good…
I think this is a wonderful way to look at it. For so many years people with mental health issues were shamed and told not to talk about them. How can we learn to accept things if we keep them secret?
I have close family members who are suffering from anxiety and depression and yes, talking about it definitely helps. I think nowadays though it’s sort of more “accepted” rather than years ago when it was swept off under the rug and labelled “private”. Even though it’s more accepted, sadly there is still a stigma attached to it.
I worked at a mental health hospital for several years and it really does give you a different perspective when you know people’s history and background. Not saying everyone with a mental health issue has had a difficult life, but many have. I think we are catching up and realising that depression isn’t something that can be wiped away with a smile, but we have a long way to go! Love that you feel able to be more open about your own issues – it’s therapeutic to talk about how you really feel rather than hiding it!
Love this post! We need more bloggers to speak up about this!
I love this and I completely agree. I have been dealing with depression, anxiety and anorexia my whole life, as far back as I can remember, and I felt very isolated with it initially. Through sharing my story I have found that I am not alone, and nor am I weird, and it helps to read blogs such as yours to reinforce that. xxx
I feel like a lot of people still feel there is a stigma around mental health, which is unfortunate. I think we all need to be aware that mental health is part of our overall well-being, and should be treated the same as any sort of physical ailment we may be dealing with.
It worries me that in some ways people are no further forward than they were many years ago when it comes to mental illness, that many people don’t know how to treat or deal with someone and choose to unfriend when the idea of a mental health illness comes up.
Some of my friends are suffering from mental health issues now and I haven’t known how to treat them the right way until I read your article. Well I believe that it’s really important to think positively and show your feelings when you are in troubles. Just let all the bad things out off your mind and the solutions will appear. I love your article and the way you speak out this issues touches my heart. Thanks for sharing, dear. Be brave.
Beautifully written and real! You are an inspiration! Keep sharing your experiences and your voice 🙂
It’s really annoying when people give label to anyone for whatever reason and surely the label and the stigmatization adding more nightmare to those who struggle with mental issue. Being compassion and supportive are the great way to show that people who deal with mental issue are not alone, that they have hope in life.
wow you look so gorgeous in photos, a lot of people suffering from mental illness these days, I do prefer workouts in the gym and other physical activities to keep me stress-free and more powerful.
I grew up in a family where mental health problems were taboo and you don’t talk about them. I’ve never kept my issues a secret, and it’s made me the black sheep in the family and treated poorly growing up, only making my issues worse. I’m glad talking about mental health issues is now considered acceptable although I am still angry that it really screwed me up.
Thank you for sharing your experience openly on such an important topic. I agree that people with mental health needs should not be labeled and should be encouraged to get help. Not talking about these important issues does not make them go away and it sure doesn’t help everyone who is suffering and deserves proper care and treatment.
Wow thank you so much for your sharing your mental health story Ana. I too agree that today doctors are too quick to medicate patients. There are really good doctors though that are aware of this stigma also, and are keen on helping get to the root of the problem. I applaud you for staying true to yourself, and for being sensitive to your uncle’s condition. I hope everything works out for him, and that you both stay well! PS – love this outfit and the color scheme.
It is okay to have mental health issues but it’s also important to seek help and get help when needed. Walking around untreated depending on the illness can be a danger to oneself or others.
I think we’ve got a long way to go when it comes to people’s attitudes to mental health in this country, especially seeing as so many people are affected by mental health issues.
I think it is amazing that you are sharing your story. It is sad that it is still very taboo to talk about mental illness. It is okay to talk about it and it is good to talk about it.
I think it’s good for you to be so vocal about mental illness – there’s really no benefit to anyone for keeping it stigmatized. I’m not personally going through anything myself right now, but you mentioned doctors prescribing pill after pill and that just reminds me so much of my friend. Doctors would listen to her for one session and then prescribe something and say, we’ll see if this treats it or not. I get how prescribing mental disorders is going to be a lot harder than, say, looking at a CT scan to diagnosis what’s wrong with your abdomen, but going all in on medication right away seems kind of dangerous.
Thank you for posting this; I really admire your strength and honesty. I hate the negative stigma surrounding mental health issues, but spreading positive information and experience like this helps us as a society move in the right direction. Much love!
-Kat
http://katpav.com
I agree that it’s important to acknowledge that a mental health issue exists if it does instead of pretending that it isn’t there. That’s the first step to recovery. I also agree with you about cutting out the people who are toxic and unsupportive from our lives. Those people won’t be there when a helping hand is needed so it’s best not to waste both parties’ time by acting cordial. I hope that those in need will get faster access to the mental health support that they require!
Mental illnesses are so common, so many people have them, yet it is a taboo to talk about it! I have friends that almost got in the deep end, because they were afraid to talk about it and refused to take their meds, because they were afraid… On a totally different subject, great outfit, love the pastel colors!
In my home country, mental illness is seen far much worse than in the UK. If you admit you are depressed, or you have the courage to go to a counselor you are automatically seen as crazy and marginalized. While everyone battles their own mental issues, nobody has the courage to come forward. I know what depression is, I am constantly fighting it but I am hiding it from my family. They wouldn’t understand. So yes, we all put a smile and pretend we are ok, pretend our lives are perfect. Take the pills that make us sick to the bones and cry behind our masks.
So not easy to talk about mental health issues. Hats off to you for doing in such an eloquent manner. I personally suffer from anxiety and I totally get how important it is to get help of any kind.
Mental health disorders run in the family. My grandmother (my moms side) suffered from depression. My mother suffered from depression. And it’s running through my veins a lot. It’s hard to explain to my husband that I want to hide in the bedroom under the covers. It’s hard to explain to him why I just don’t feel like doing whatever, and why it’s ok. He’s supportive, but doesn’t understand it at all because he’s never walked a day in my shoes to feel the way I feel, or see the way my grandmother and mother lived. Mental health is rough on those that know nothing about it, because they don’t know that our feelings are real, and that we can’t just “get over it.”
While it is so important to have conversations about mental health and depression, and I totally understand the importance you are placing on talk therapy, I do think we need to be careful of dismissing medication. One of the hardest parts in the treatment of mental illness is people feel like they don’t need medications, when often it is essential to their care plan. But in the end, you are so right in that we need to be more open about what issues people are struggling with.
Those pink boots are hot! But Yes I do agree with you, I think society does turn the cheek and it only actually makes things worse and harder to deal with for the person suffering. Almost like a rather not deal with situation when mental health issues really do need to be dealt with. I personally hate the saying “chin up”.
I really hope the stigma around mental health changes. No one should feel ashamed because of how they feel. It’s so important and to be honest a bit frustrating that we have to share our stories, why can’t people accept mental health. There needs to be so much work done to improve not only diagnose but care and support. I hope one day we can live in a world where it’s recognised just as much as a physical condition x
Ana, I love you even more than ever before for this post. It is so damn important to talk about mental health. I am sorry to hear about all of the things you’ve been through. I was forever passed around by the NHS, given bad health care and it just makes you lose trust in the system sadly. However I am doing a lot better now.
Here if you ever need to talk x
I must admit I when I was young the attitude I grow around was the smile it will make everything better or dont dwell on the negative but no one talk about mental issues and some still prefer not to which is a great shame
Its funny how you should choose this topic in today’s thread Ana. I am having a very “down “day today and just feel like curling up and hiding from the world. However when you have a teenage daughter you cannot afford to do this. You are right when you say people don’t want to know when you mention depression and crying for no reason. People in general only want to know you when your well and the good times are rolling.
Good you are talking about this. I wrote about mental health and why we must continue to talk about it some days ago. A lot more needs to be said to break the culture of silence. Many people are struggling without being able to speak with anyone.
It’s heartbreaking that mental health, after all that people who are suffering from have been through, is still looked down on especially when it concerns the younger kids. We look at is as something that people with mental health issues make up as an excuse and that’s always what gets me. What people with mental health issues need is support and a little definitely goes a long way. I sure hope that one day more and more people would be open to talking about it.
We just had “R U OK” day here in Australia last week to raise awareness to depression and mental health. I think as a society we are coming further in not only accepting mental health issues but being able to better support others who are suffering. I think it is important to be open about our personal struggles to show others it is normal and ok!
I think we all have mental health issues one way or another. It is a topic that many don’t like to address. One of those taboo topics. But with openness comes awareness.
Mental health is an issue for so many of us. This is a brilliant post, Well done. The more we talk about it the less taboo it’ll be.
Thank you for sharing.
Jx
Janslittlelife.
I suffer from Major Depressive Disorder and I hate it when people give those dismissive comments like you will be right as rain soon, time will solve it and etc….like you’re supposed to jump up and be cured from their amazing words of wisdom. Sometimes I want to ask how they would like it if I clubbed them in the knee with a bat and expected the same. lol
I’m so glad you’re talking about it Ana. This needs to be talked about on so many levels and for so many reasons. It’s why I write about my own struggles in my blog. I do hope that the attitudes towards mental health issues will change in the near future.
I so agree with you. I think it’s important to be honest and open about mental illness because it can help so many others going through the same thing. Then they won’t feel so alone.
Many people in my life have battled mental illness. Getting past the stigma of having a diagnosis or needing medication has been one of the biggest hurdles for them. It has often been a barrier to seeking help.
it feels good when someone speaks or writes about mental health issues :D…. I am in love with your outfit 🙂
I just started going through the process of dealing with my depression and other issues this year. I’ve realized how important it is to find the root problems and work toward solutions and overcoming my shortcomings. I’ve also slowly started to release that feeling of needing to keep everything in and I’m also in the beginning stages of sharing my journey on my blog.
Girl, I feel like you’re speaking to every mama out there, even though you didn’t write it for us. 😉 I’ve written several depression related posts on my mama blog…I think half the battle is breaking the silence. No, we’re not crazy, and a lot of us actually function in normal society, so. Anyway, thanks for saying what we’re all thinking, seriously.
You have thrown a light on a very serious issue about mental health. People don’t like to talk about it but neglecting topics on mental health is not an excuse. Talking about it in positive manner and treating it like a normal thing is very important. If we are not ashamed of our physical health problem then why to hide our mental health problem. It is very good of you that you are making us all think about the topics which we sometimes neglect.
I think depression is an illness and requires the need to consult with the right person. My friend used to have depression and since she loved travelling and blogging the doctor asked her to travel and blog about the travel. Now she feels happier and does not think about the sad things rather focuses on her blog and travel. You need something to keep yourself engaged.
It is SO Ok to have mental health issues & not feel like you have to hide it away – it only makes things so much worse. x
It is very important to be transparent with mental health issues as I firmly believe that everyone suffers with them at one point or another over their lives
You are absolutely right about the doctors that churn out pill after pill and not really find a lasting solution to solve the person’s problems i.e counseling.
It is refreshing to hear a story such as yours where you came off the pill dependency. Not so many suffering from emotional issues and even mental illness have the willpower to fight the pill dependency.
Everyone experiences mental health in different ways but it doesn’t mean anyone is more important than anyone else’s. You have to do what makes you feel better x
I worked in mental health before having my children (with adults) and I think things are improving so much lately in regards to mental health awareness. People are a lot more open about suffering these days and I hope this leads to more people seeking help and not feeling stigmatized in the future x
Speaking about Mental health still has a stigma in this century. I have seem one of my relative suffering from it, getting into severe depression and now the scene is that he doesn’t even gets up from the bed. It’s really heartbreaking to know that people don’t seek advice when this illness strikes. They don’t want to speak and get into social discussions. I’m really happy that after Blogging you say and write what you feel. It is really important to show what you are rather than keep your feelings inside.
I really struggled after the birth of my first son, but my health visitor just brushed me off. Didn’t feel confident after that to talk to anyone else about it.
I suffer from depression and anxiety. It’s never easy to deal with them especially if you have four kids to take care of. Sometimes people make me feel like I’m just overreacting or being overly dramatic. These are things that we should be more open to by now and we should never make people feel as if it’s not a big deal at all!
I love seeing so many people talking about mental health recently. It definitely helps to normalise it. I’m glad you got the help that you needed.
I love this post. the way you talked about a topic that is considered taboo in most of the conservative households is just remarkable. I just hope that this article finds its way to the people for whom it is intended.
Peace!
I wish the UK had more funding for mental health issues, it’s such an important issue and while I applaud the effort that’s being made I think more could be done, especially when it comes to long term care.
It makes me sad that there is still a stigma around mental health issues. I have had my fair share and always feel a bit nervous about speaking openly about it. x
Most definitely! No one is perfect and I think we all struggle in one way or another. Some are just better at hiding it, that’s all.
You are right that acknowledging own mental health is the first step. We will not see the problem if we will not accept and acknowledge it. I have a problem with depression and I always need support when it strikes me.
Ana, the thing I love most about your posts is how real, raw and honest you are. Not to mention brace. I can relate to you so much and although I wouldn’t wish mental health on anyone, it is comforting to know that we’re not alone. Someone else out there actually does understand what we go through, every story is different but we all hurt and I honestly believe many people who have been fortunate enough not to suffer from mental health, will never ever understand the turmoil.
Again, thank you for keeping it real! Here’s to happier times and always being a warrior x
I have little to no experience with mental health issues, but I can certainly see that it is devastating to you and your readers. I wish I had more ways to help but know that I am definitely willing to learn as much as I can about this.
Depression is difficult to understand and to know the right thing to do when I loved one suffers from it… I have someone close to me who has it and seems anything I do or say is wrong…. I want to help but I think all I can do at this point is let this person now they are loved…
Thank you so much for your honesty! Everyone is all about the “band-aid” these days. Prescribe a pill, what’s the quickest fix, but it does nothing to get to the root of the problem and it will come back every single time.
Talking about mental health issues is a way to bring not only awareness but education to this topic. Just like people get sick with cancer, or kidney stones, or anything else, people can also be ill in their minds and I think it is time this stigma went away and people should be more open to talking about mental health issues. Too many people hide it out of fear of being judged.
Thank you for being so upfront and honest about mental health. It takes a very strong person to talk about such a sensitive subject. My Godmother/Aunt had Schizophrenia. She developed it around the age of 18, and everyone has always said that it was due to someone slipping something into her unattended drink, at a bar, but I don’t know how much truth there is to that. I didn’t get to be around her much, because of her mental issues. When I did speak with her, though, you wouldn’t know that she had Schizophrenia, except for one time that she asked me a strange question, but I won’t go into that, lol. Thanks for bringing attention to some of the stigmas that are set upon those with mental health issues. I hope that, one day, everyone will be treated with the same dignity and respect.
I really resonated with this post. Before I got help for my depression, I felt SO different from everyone. I had so much guilt for always bailing on friends, falling away from my husband, and generally feeling lost. I wish more people talked about this so it didn’t feel so isolating!
I totally agree, It’s OK to have mental Issues, Nothings lasts forever. I went thru the same during my pregnancy but now everything is fine and am happy about it
I totally agree with everything you are saying. As someone who deals with a myriad of mental health issues, it is not just a ‘buck up and get over it’ type of thing. It is something that needs to be worked through, but not at the expense of your own health. Thanks for telling your story.
As someone told me once it’s okay to not be okay. Life is hard and we all work our way through it differently and some need a little guidance but the end goal is always the same to live a happy life
Often times people will say, fake it till you make it. That might apply to trying your hand at a new skill like blogging, but it doesn’t work for depression, grieving or mental health issues. Dwelling the negative doesn’t help those issues either, instead I find it helps to acknowledge those feelings and try and deal with them as best I can. When it becomes too much, it is time to either reach out to people who will listen and understand how you feel; sometimes just talking to your support system can help. Other times, you need medical attention from a trained therapist. Mental health issues is not a character flaw, it’s part of our chemical makeup. Some people struggle more than others, but it never means you should negate anyone’s feelings.
I’m glad that you are sharing this topic. With social media I think we are all driven to only share the brighter side, often unrealistic. It gives the idea that its not ok to have problems, which causes even more anxiety. I hope more women share their story and encourage others to post about the real, everyday problems we struggle with
Thank you for being so open about your life! Mental illness is very present in my life.
You are not alone. I think a lot of us put on a happy face, but actually feel sad or depressed inside. Loved your post. Hugs to you.
Your post and personal experience really breaks my heart. I really admire your attitude though, you’re a strong person even though you can sometimes feel down. You’ve already achieved so much, you have the right to live your life and do what makes you feel better.
Mental health can be one of the hardest things to admit and to live with. I have had such a struggle with it but once I stopped trying to run from it and pretend it’s not there, I could finally compensate and adjust to help myself have better days.
This is such a powerful post. I agree with what you’ve written and I’m so glad you’ve shared this with us. I myself have suffered through depression quite a bit. 2015 was a hard year for me, having lost my grandma and going to uni feeling isolated then to hear the news of my 11 year old cousins passing away in his sleep for no actual cause. Depression hit me bad and it took me so long to realise I was depressed, I was faking my happiness so that I wouldn’t end up alone in uni. Those friends who I made before he passed neglected me by the end of the first term as I didn’t realise how much depression changed me and made me unlikable. Depression is very real and very life changing, we need to talk about it more x
I really feel your frustrations Ana, but from the other side. I trained to be a Clinical Psychologist and worked in child and adult mental health services and it was so frustrating to see how late people were getting seen by us. We were getting people in their 50s with life long mental health issues that had never been addressed by mental health professionals before, doctors yes, but not mental health specialists. It was so upsetting and maddening for us to see how distress these people were and it made our work that much more difficult. Mental health care and self care should be thought in primary schools to children until we can address the shortage in mental health workers and appointments.
I love your articles and I know exactly what you mean…”When I pretend to be happy I feel like a fraud but when I am honest about how I feel I am condemned for being ‘negative’” Sometimes You can feel damned if you do damned if you dont :)x
It’s good to see someone open up about mental health issues. I’ve suffered depression on and off over 10 years now. Some times are worse than others. I’ve always tried to hide it but my mother told me that will only make it worse. Therapy, meditation and beaches do help me. I’m totally against taking antidepressants. But it’s a journey that will hopefully get better for me and you.
Thank you thank you thank you for writing this post! It is such an important topic and you spoke about it beautifully.
There are many people who experience mental health issues. Now that it’s no longer a taboo topic to openly discuss (thank goodness!) more friends are coming forward and talking about their challenges. Just being able to discuss it with others is soul-lifting for them. 🙂
Hi Ana. I have had many experiences with mental health professionals for a variety of reasons. Between my aunt being a schizophrenic and my ex and her family having a vast array of mental health issues as well as a struggle with depression from time to time for various personal reasons, I know far too well about much of the struggle. I do not think we should stigmatize it or the people who suffer from it. And I do think we should help where we can and are able to. I just have one thing where I know I had a hard time. My ex-wife had a personality disorder that made her personally toxic to me. She might have been fighting symptoms and issues from it which may not be her fault. But if I continued to allow myself to be abused by her emotionally, mentally, and spiritually I would have been pulled under by her. I think you walk a fine line in some cases with mental health. Help where you can. But consider yourself like a lifeguard who is pulling someone to shore. You can’t allow yourself to be pulled under with the drowning person or else you have two deaths. And recognize your own ability to handle whatever problems they are suffering through and give the support that you are best able to in those situations. Whether that means financial, general, or specific emotional support. But make sure that you are safe as well.
This is a very series topic. I completely agree with you that we need not treat them in a certain way or call them “stupid”. But I want to point to one very point what to do when that person starts behaving abnormally. My aunt (Sister of my mother: i am not sure what to call her) she is so fed up with her husband. He sometimes be in very lovely and jolly mood and sometimes literally beat my aunt. Last week, he kicked her in her stomach and now she is admitted to the hospital because that hurts her ovaries very badly due to which they need to be removed from her body. So, it’s very confusing for me to understand what we should call that person, now he is crying very badly that i don’t know why I hurt her, please forgive me.
Mental health seems to be one of society’s last taboos, but it’s reassuring to see the beginnings of a shift towards greater understanding of conditions such as depression and bi-polar. That British ‘stiff upper lip’ that was necessary during the war years has taken time to break down, and I hope to see even more emphasis placed on emotional health as my girls grow up. x
There should definitely be more emphasis on government services to tackle mental health, so many people don;t have the help they need.
I definitely agree, we need more networks, institutions, organisations who can help with mental health issues. It’s never easy to go through this. We need more awareness.
I agree with this post so much, being a sufferer myself of anxiety and PTSD I understand. The state of the mental health system in this country is flawed beyond belief, I’m sick of having pills thrown at me for everything, I refuse to take them and generally stay away from the doctors tbh. I found counselling the best for me, it just sucked that I had to pay for it and can’t always afford it. Plus the NHS counselling let me down a lot. The stigma needs to stop. Xx
Mental Health is such an important topic to share and raise awareness. Mental health is part of you, but it doesn’t define you as a person. It makes me so furious that in 2017 some people can’t accept that Mental Health is something that most people experience at one point or another.
I agree with you!! Being a sufferer for mental health illness is the hardest things to admit. Sometime I suffered in depression but I thing I can do to overcome this is to stay think positive. I could finally compensate to help myself have a wonderful and well days.
It can certainly be hard to recognise, especially in ones self. With all the crap that I faced with younger, I am shock that I did not go crazy, it is not now that I am older and in my 30’s not my younger issues but what I am, facing now, is starting to have an affect on me. But with a friend like you, one that I can always rely on, I am very lucky.
You raised an important point here. So many people still have the stigma for mental health issues people which I find it sad. We lived in a society that’s so advance in technology but yet lost in humanity. I think a lot of people suffer from depression but not everyone talks about it.
This is a brilliant post Ana and I agree with every word. As someone who has also suffered severe mental health problems I’m so glad people are starting to talk about it more and more. Our NHS is generally brilliant but really is lacking where it comes to mental health services, especially for the younger people.
As a fellow mental health sufferer, I’m in total agreement. Mental health is definitely not discussed nearly as much as it should be. I hope one day, when I’m ready, to talk about it on my own blog.
That’s brave of you to share your story as it is not an easy thing to do and people should open their eyes. To see that just because you can’t see a physical injury doesn’t mean that it’s not there. Mental illness is a very serious issue and people should accept that. It’s not easy to go through something like that and being told things like “It’s all in your head” and trying to treat it like it’s nothing, stuff like that is tiring and not helping at all.
It really is OK to have mental health issues. It’s not the end of the world, and these days people are so much more aware of it, so more often than not you can get the support you need 🙂
Louise x
MY family suffers a lot from mental health some spurred by events in their life. My sister was mugged at knife point and my brother developed PTSD from serving his country in Afghanistan. I think mental health is one of those subjects that needs to be discussed. IT is okay, and no one should ever think it isn’t!
I always remind people that it’s okay not to be okay. More people need to be open about this.
This is an honest post on a taboo topic, which is very refreshing to see! I definitely agree that everyone has struggles and there should not be any hesitation against getting treatment for anxiety or depression!
Oh If only I could write a novel and share my story with mental health. I think your sharing is so brave and sincere. You may have trying times in those highs and lows of depression, but you recognizing all that you have grown to accept is a huge part of being able to control depression rather than it controlling you. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
In my practice I have to routinely deal with and educate families who don’t take serious the mental health problems that their family members have. We need better education for individuals so people don’t feel weird when they suffer from these disorders.
When feeling depressed, immediately seek help or if you are not brave enough, then divert your depression to others, like art. Be vocal and dont keep it to yourself.
I went through depression for years as a child, being constantly told that I should just “buck it up” and “get on with it”… Seeking help was the best thing I ever did…
Beautifully written. Mental health issues are nothing to be ashamed about. Knowing they are there and choosing not to take action is neglecting yourself and well being. I love that you are taking on this topic so bravely to be an inspiration to others.
That first line of the second paragraph is speaking so much to me right now—about how faking happiness feels wrong, but when you are honest you’re often condemned for being negative, or whiny, or something along those lines. It’s so challenging to figure out what to do sometimes. Thank you for putting this out there. The more conversation, the more acceptance. *Hugs*, lovely.
its so good that your raising awareness of these issues which so many suffer with in silence, I hopewit helps many
I feel you and this article! I am suffering from mild depression and anxiety as well. Those are things that are not to be ashamed of.
I’ve always admired how you use your platform to talk about more than just fashion, and to be really honest with us as your readers. It makes me feel like I, also can be more open with my readers about the issues I deal with
Loved this! Mental Health is indeed something that we need to pay more attention. I’ve been struggling with depression for so long, and now that I’ve managed to “Recover” I’m trying to help others because no one deserves to feel like this! There’s only one thing that helped me going and it still helps me… Life is beautiful. And you can see it in many things. You just have to look pretty close sometimes! Loved this post…
I extend my patience on people with mental health issues because I believe they need a lot of caring and understanding than anybody else. I, as a normal person, should somehow make a positive response to them so as to uplift their spirit.