Why Online Dating Can Lead To Finding ‘The One’

Finding the one can be what seems to be an endless journey, as you gallivant through ‘boning central’ and navigate your way into Love Shack Kingdom, where Cupid and his merry bandits await. And while all your friends have their tongues down their boyfriend’s throats, you sit lonely as a cloud among the 1500 cats and dogs that you merrily welcomed into your burgeoning home, forlornly transfixed by the couples who get randy outside your window. You might not be a ‘Peeping Tom’ but even you can’t ignore the feeling of ‘wanting something tangible and real’ with someone other than your ridiculously cute cat… is that too much to ask? Alas the ‘concept of a soulmate’ is as alien as the idea of two pigs turning into unicorns with wings, and you shake your head solemnly as you go back to stalking your crush on the internet and wishing that he knew that you existed. I mean there was that one time when you got so wasted that you thought you were channeling your Inner Beyonce but ended up flashing your pants to him and the entirety of the club but lets not talk about that. And then it comes to you, who better to consult on dating woes than your sassy alter ego Jasmine, who according to her non-factual and non scientific resources has determined that Online Dating is not full of creepy weirdos who want you to look at their crooked penises but are instead full of eligible bachelors who are just begging to give you their rose.

But here’s the T, unlike the gloriously addictive show ‘The Bachelor’ where the men just want to ride the train all the way to Bone Town, not everyone on online dating sites are hell bent on asking you for pictures of your Vay Jay Jay.I mean dude come on it’s called a Vagina, stop giving it pet names. Some men, which I have had the fortune of meeting are kind, funny and generous souls with a heart of gold, who will stop at nothing less than perfection to make sure that you have the first date of your dreams. They shower you with roses, sprinkle you with compliments and douse you with a love bubble, that will have you smiling from ear to ear, as you contemplate to yourself ‘could this be the one’? And while I might not have had a long lasting connection with these handsome fellas, or one to start with, it just goes to show that online dating is not as bad as people make it out to be. After all I have had readers message me to say that ‘online dating horrifies them’ and that they could only meet someone that could be considered their soulmate ‘in person’. While online dating is not for everyone, let me tell you a real story. If it wasn’t for online dating I wouldn’t have a SEX LIFE. Period. After all, it’s hard to find my dream man, when I spend my time looking after all these imaginary cats and pugs isn’t it? Sure, I might not have found my soulmate just yet, but who says that my own personal experiences mean that online dating might not lead to finding the one? After all I have had friends who have married their once online lovers, have moved into a place with their Tinder Boo and have even had children with their Bumble Crushes, so who says that online dating doesn’t lead to a happily ever after? From encouraging you to date outside of your comfort zone or inner circle, to finding the one through rotational dating, here is why online dating can help you find the one.

 

You Can Find Someone Who Is Your Soulmate Because You Might Find Someone Who Is Not Your Usual Type But Who You Have An Insane Connection With 

If there is one thing that online has taught me in spades, it is that dating someone who is not your type, can lead to you having the most incredible connection. After all it’s important to not judge a book by its cover when dating someone new, which is why sites like Tinder have helped me make so many incredible dating memories because it has pushed me to ‘swipe right’ on people who might not be my immediate type, but their profile bio and photos intrigued me to find out more. I’ll give you an example, two years ago I decided to go on a date with someone through Tinder who was as far removed from my type as you could get. He was ginger, geeky, slight, and didn’t have an ‘edge about him’. Yet despite all this, I was encouraged to swipe right on him because he was a trainee GP for a sex clinic, was intelligent and waxed lyrical about his favourite authors and poets, and seemed to have a great sense of humor with his jokes about being a ‘Sex Doctor who couldn’t get laid’ and how he self-deprecatingly poked fun at himself, in a charming, attractive way. After all if you can’t laugh at yourself, how the hell are you going to laugh at somebody else? Our conversations were flirty, full of banter and he made me laugh, so with renewed optimism we strolled into our first date with laughter in our hearts.

We danced, we drank, we ate and we spent the whole night laughing, until we passionately kissed, as I teased him about my red lipstick that made him look like the Joker. A second date was on the cards and despite him being different to what I normally went for ( I like tall, blue eyed blonde athletic men for the record) he was a refreshing change and I was excited to see him again, especially as we spent the majority of the night laughing about wanking, which is always a good ‘first date topic’, LOL. We spent the days leading up to our next date frantically texting, and it almost seemed like the chemistry was just radiating off the screen. We had the ability to both ‘make each laugh’ and ‘turn each other on’ which in my eyes is a great basis for a fun dating ‘honeymood period’. On our next date we danced some more, while he cooked me a vegetarian pasta dish,and served up homemade cake for dessert, as we fed each other A’la Lady In The Tramp style, and stole sweet kisses absentmindedly. And I was even more pleasantly surprised by when we spent the night together and he didn’t try anything on which was gentlemanly of him to do so. Even though I had the major horn, it was a nice change to just relax, enjoy each other’s company and just see where the night would take us. Despite our initial attraction, our connection and chemistry fizzled out after a while, as weren’t suited to each other romantically, but it did teach me to be more open minded when it came to using dating sites, by encouraging me to look past the ‘physical and aesthetic appeal’ of a person, and take a deeper insight into their personality to see if we are the perfect match.

Online Dating Can Lead To The One Because You Are Trying Something New 

Before I started using online dating sites, I was fixated on an ‘ideal’ of a perfect date, refusing to look beyond the romantic ‘dinner and drinks’ set up, that had always been my go-to first date idea. And while there is nothing I love more than going for dinner and drinks, I have also learned to be more open to trying something new in order to further my quest of finding the one. I’ll set the scene, there was a guy who I was friends with who would be confused by the fact that I would always go on the ‘same kind of date’ and still be perplexed as to why I would not find my perfect match, boldly exclaiming that being ‘more open to going with the flow’ and trying something new would be the key to finding a better lasting connection. And so I took his advice, I started asking guys what their ‘ideal first date would entail’ and the answers would range from a romantic stroll around a museum, to dinner and drinks, rock climbing, to picnics in the park, windsurfing, walks in the woods and even themed evenings like Murder Mysteries and dining in the dark, proving that being adventurous with your ‘online date’ can be the key to finding your soulmate. After all imagine the romantic nature of having a picnic in the park, surrounded by prosecco, delicious food and a stunning backdrop behind you as you gaze into each other’s eyes or going diving with someone you have just met as you take the chance to try something new?

As humans we are creatures of habit, so naturally we tend to gravitate towards what we know, which is why we initially reject something that might be outside of our comfort zone, make us feel uncomfortable or be something that is ‘completely and utterly new’. After all I have only been ice skating once and got badly injured aged 8, so naturally if someone asked me on an ‘ice skating date’ it might be something that I am reluctant to say yes to, for fear of coming across as a ‘fool’ but it is our fear of the unknown that can often lead us to missing out on life’s greatest connections. So it’s time to saddle up our horses and say yes to new opportunities because you never know what you might find. As a case study, I once went on a date with someone at the British Museum , as we brushed up on our knowledge of each other and the Ancient Egyptian artifacts that called to us so gloriously. And because we were both history buffs who loved museums, the date was a roaring success, as we ended up going for dinner and drinks after, enthusing about the relics and artifacts that we had just seen. From online dating in London, I have also seen a rise in partners being interested in BDSM, which again while out of my comfort zone wasn’t something that I ruled out completely, and has led to some long lasting connections with several guys. So you see, trying something new can be the key to unlocking your perfect partner.

Dating Online Can Help You Find Your Dream Partner Through ‘Rotational Dating’ 

In the early stages of dating it would be natural to assume that you don’t want to put all your eggs in one basket, because you are still testing the waters and want to make sure that person is the one for you. Which is where rotational dating comes into play; going on multiple dates will A. increase your chances of finding the one, B. help you explore other options to assess who is the perfect fit for you and C. allow you to discover just what you are looking for. As an example, after dating a guy for several months who I thought I had a ‘soulmate connection with’ turning into Casper the non-existent ghost, I mopped up the tears and went back on Tinder to give rotational dating a shot. Only this time unlike in the past where I would go on dates with a few people, I went on dates with a lot of different people from all walks of life to A. have fun after my breakup, B. find someone who could be my ‘man’ and C. not put my eggs all in one basket, because I had a habit of latching onto people who were just not right for me. While the second guy after my ex turned out to be a playboy and was not interested in dating me, the succession of men after him turned out to either be ‘just up for fun’ (which at some points I was down for), ‘a short term fling’, one night stands, not over their exes or a mutual lack of chemistry, all experiences which taught me what I did and didn’t want from online dating.

Rotational dating isn’t without its perils and a constant stream of rejection can be difficult to handle, especially when you are so passionately seeking a relationship with someone special, but keep wading through the dicksand that the f**kboys keep throwing your way. But let me tell you something, online dating is so worth it because you might just meet the one you have been waiting for all your life. After all, as someone who works in a female dominated industry, and doesn’t think that a bar or club is the best place to find my Prince Charming, online dating is a godsend because it A. gives me the confidence to ask guys out without losing my nerve, B. encourages me to take initiative when I like someone and just ‘go for it’ and C. teaches me to not lay all my eggs at one man’s door, if that man is busy plucking all the hens that he can find. If there is one thing I don’t like to do it is to share my man candy with someone else. Not today Satan not today.

You Might Stumble Across The One Because You Can Date Outside Of Your Circle

Before I started online dating, the people I dated were men who I either worked with, knew through a family friend, was matched with by a good Judy pal, or was someone I went to school with, which always made breakups awkward , as you frantically try and ignore each other, despite being around each other 24/7. So imagine my relief when I moved to London and was A. able to date without the whole village having a say on who I could and couldn’t date, B. could date complete strangers who I would never bump into if things didn’t work out and C. were not in my group of friends, meaning less awkwardness for all parties involved. As an example, while I dated when I was younger, these guys were people I worked with – MR Fuckboy Central-, sons of family friends – MR In Love With Me But I Wasn’t- people I knew at School- MR Just Not That Into You- and blind dates set up by friends, such as MR Cringe, MR TryHard and MR Creep, all MR Men who would definitely not be putting a ring on it! And while I have met my fair share of weird and incompatible men on the apps- MR ‘Call Me Daddy’ springs to mind (shudder), I have also met some wonderful men, including my current ‘Maybe Squeeze’ who I would have never met if it wasn’t for Tinder. For a start while he’s brunette and not blonde, he is a rather handsome blue eyed chap, who I have great sexual chemistry with, makes me laugh and is older-which I like- gets me to be more openminded about trying new things and even though at times can be a little bit of a dick, is also a dick that I rather like.

But as someone who is 9 years older than me, based in a different part of London and is in a completely different profession to me, without Tinder it would be probable that our paths would have never crossed and yet they have. While it’s still early days and we have our issues, my point is that online dating allows me to date without the pressure of having to date someone who ‘other people know’ or who I have known in the past. After all there is nothing more awkward than dating someone who you work with, only to have a very messy breakup and me having to pretend like I am not raging, when images of MR Fuckboy Central romping with my friend comes into mind, when I was trying to serve hot plates to hungry customers. And yes this was back in the day when I was working part time at a hotel while studying for my A-Levels. Not a fun job let me tell you that.

Dating In Winter Might Lead You To Bond With Your Other Half Over Snuggles And Hot Choccy. The Perfect Setup For A Romantic Peas In A Pod Connection

The thought of stepping outside and freezing our tits off when its minus three, is enough to have me crawling back under the covers and pretending like my front door does not exist. But here’s the T, even though we might be tempted to host a Netflix staycation, and sit in our jammies all day, winter is actually one of the best times of year to find your soulmate. After all we can drink hot chocolates while roasting veggie friendly marshmallows, wander around markets sampling food and drink, snuggle under fuzzy blankets while watching movies and have hot sexy time to stave off the cold. So make February your chance to stop babysitting imaginary pets, and get online to turn that frown upside down. After all the only thing better than a summer fling is a winter romance that stays the distance. In fact did you know that the New Year generates more interest for online dating sites than any other time of the year? It’s because we enter the winter months determined to find that special someone, with renewed vigor and energy, refreshed by the welcoming bliss of the Christmas holidays, into the Valentine Season of love in February, where we simply don’t want to have a date with our 1500 dogs again. Because animals are cute, but I would rather not date my imaginary dog. So why not join me in having a dating adventure this winter by letting go of the duvet and stepping into the cold slush of winter with optimism in your heart? Dating Sites UK here I come.

Not convinced? Well some of my best dates and relationships have begun in winter, ranging from a beautiful date at the theatre with a future boo, a wild night with a sexy stallion, a romantic dinner date, as well as fun in the cinema, rides at Thorpe Park and even a date abroad in the most magical setting, where our hearts weren’t the only things that were getting warm. Ahem. And while there is nothing I love more than the golden gaze of summer rearing its glowing head above a happy couple, winter is often full of surprises, as we find the partner who was waiting for us all winter long.

Now More Than Ever There Is More Singles Online Than Offline

Up until university, I had never used online dating apps to find ‘my man’, as the people I had dated were all men who were either in my inner or secondary circle, as opposed to being ‘complete strangers’. But aged 20, and fed up of being attracted to the wrong kind of men, I went on a date with someone who was A. not my usual type, B. came from a different walk of life to me and C. at 26 was a little older, and who I hoped would be the mature, fun loving man of my dreams. And while he ended up being a rather strange and intense guy who kept calling me his ‘posh bird’, spoke about marriage and kids with me on the first date and said that he wanted to introduce me to his parents in New York, despite there being no chemistry on my part, it did make me open to finding love online, although it wasn’t until I was 23 that I gave online dating sites a real chance. Prior to being the ripe ol’ age of 23, I was so convinced that the only way I could meet men was through clubs, bars, university, school, work and recommendations, which at the time was true. I wasn’t wholly convinced by the idea of swiping left and right could ever help me find the one, was in a culture and environment where ‘online dating’ was frowned upon or viewed as something for the ‘desperate and needy’ and as someone who at the time cared greatly about what people thought of me, thought it was a good idea to continue dating the way I had always dated. But over time, working in Journalism and Blogging made me realize that I was in an industry dominated by females, and that finding love outside of bars and clubs was going to be very difficult indeed.

And now aged 25 I have realized that now more than ever, more of us are finding love online, and as I said earlier if it wasn’t for online dating I am pretty sure that I wouldn’t have a sex life. After all I was always someone that was gawky, geeky and not ‘conventionally attractive’ growing up, so not only has online dating boosted my confidence but it has also shown me that if I want to find a boyfriend, then the easiest way to find someone is through dating apps like Tinder. Besides now that we live in a ‘Netflix and Chill Zone’, with our reliance on digital technologies like apps and websites, more of us are ‘staying in’ which without the invention of apps like Tinder, would mean that we would not find our perfect match. After all can you imagine anything more satisfying than ordering a pizza and getting a 2 for 1 deal, with a message from your favourite Tinder date popping up on your phone? Pizza and a date? Score.

 

Online Dating Can Often Break Down The Awkwardness Of Asking Someone Out In Person, Thus Improving Your Chances Of Finding The One 

If you are anything like me, then growing up you weren’t someone who would ‘ask guys out’, was socially awkward and above all was unpopular, didn’t wear makeup and had bad hair and clothes. And while I dated when I was younger, when I started ‘dressing up’ and wearing make up, I started getting more male attention and I reveled in it. Yet despite this renewed interest in ‘me’, I still had no confidence, lacked self-esteem and wondered why it was so easy for my friends to ‘pull a guy’ in a club, while I was that awkward girl in the club dancing but not getting the attention from the guys that I actually liked. What it all boiled down to was although guys liked to ‘hang out’ and have fun with me, many of these guys didn’t see me as someone who they could date long term or even as someone as they would date because I was guarded, emotionally unavailable, and gave off this ‘ice queen’ don’t come near me vibe, which was actually me having no confidence but people misreading it as me being disinterested. So imagine my delight when apps gave me that opportunity to ‘let guys’ know how I really felt , without them having initial impressions of me or judging me because I might come across a certain way. Apps made me feel funnier, made me come across as fun loving and above all boosted my self-confidence and self-esteem, because I was getting all this male attention that I wasn’t used to before.

6 times out of 10, I am now the person to ‘ask a guy out on a date’ online, whereas in person, all the guys I dated before were people who had asked me out, because I had never had the confidence to make my feelings known to the guys I actually liked, making it a refreshing change. In other words I spent so much time waiting around for people to ask me out or being scared of rejection that online dating gave me the perfect chance to increase my chances of finding the one because I was being active as opposed to passive about discovering who that special someone may be.

Do You Believe That Online Dating Can Help You To Find The One?

*Disclaimer

Please note this is a collaborative post with Match Me Happy, but all thoughts are my own and are not affected by monetary compensation.