For years I leapt from doomed relationship, to relationship because I thought that being alone on Valentine’s day, was the ultimate indicator of your ‘inevitable spinsterhood’. I was conditioned from a young age into believing that to be single was against social norms, whereas relationships were indicative of your desirability, a theory that I now debunk. It was an unsettling time growing up and as I wrote in ‘ ‘Why I Am Staying Single This Valentines Day’, I would enter a series of relationships, only to get my heart trampled on, all because I wanted to be seen as attractive, wanted and above all loved. Largely in relation to the bullying and abuse that I faced as a young child and teen, I would let myself be mistreated by guys, usually older who would take advantage of my vulnerability and use me in more ways than one. Some were manipulative and others were aggressive but I stayed with them for the sake of appearing to be ‘wanted’ because this was something that I had struggled with from a young age.
The funny thing was that in the majority of these ‘relationships ‘, it never felt like we were actually dating, because I was often their ‘little secret’, someone who people only wanted to date in private and not in public. Other times I would be the one who would keep the relationship on the down low, because I had learned from previous experience that ‘public relationships’ would quite often crash and burn. Working in the industry that I do, ensuring that my privacy was well maintained, was of the upmost importance, and would mean that I could go about my love life as I pleased, without the damning judgement offered by others. Of course I now know that being in a relationship for a sake of being in a relationship was detrimental to my wellbeing but at the time I was naive and wanted to feel loved.
When I came to university it seemed that everything had changed and as I grew in confidence I realized that I didn’t need a guy to make me happy. I had my critics of course, who would constantly question why I was ok to be single and when ‘I would get a boyfriend’ as though the clock had struck midnight and my time had run out. But why is it that we are so obsessed with women being single and call them nasty names such as a ‘spinster’ and ‘loser’ as though we ‘can’t get boyfriends’? After all when men are single, we call them ‘bachelors’ and praise their resistance to settle down, as though being in a relationship or married is a cult. It is this very same double standard that caused a detestable Twitter account called ‘Guy Codes’ to be set up, mocking single women in their twenties who dared to indulge in the same ‘laddish’ behavior as men, such as going on the pull, getting drunk or hooking up with random strangers. This type of archaic mentality around the concept of women who rebelled against societal norms, who would embrace her femininity and lead her life as she f***ing well pleased, was entrenched in morally sexist undertones to say the least.
Reading a Huffington Post article on How Social Media Has Fueled Double Standards For Women, made me question how social media accounts objectify and glorify naked women, yet and she quotes ‘if boys knew the women’ they would be quick to ‘label’ them as ‘sluts’. So does it make me and countless other women ‘sluts’ if we choose to be single and sleep around? Because quite frankly if I want to have a one night stand then why the hell not, I am not harming anyone and having fun while you are still single should not be ‘gender biased’. It’s a women’s right to choose whether she wants to date or not, wants to be in a relationship or casually date or is happy being single and focusing on herself. After all a women’s self worth is not defined by the company she keeps. Which is why, this Valentine’s Day I no longer feel the need to ‘seek out’ relationships who are not worth my time, nor do I feel the need to be with someone, so that I can appease the people around me who ‘feel that I simply must be in a relationship to be happy. After all it is ok to be single if this is what makes you happy.
We spend so much of our lives making judgements and one of the biggest pre-conceived stereotypes are that women who are single, (especially on Valentines day) are either depressed, alone or there is ‘something wrong with them’. Quite frankly it’s the biggest load of bull I have ever heard but sadly I used to be one of those close minded individuals, who thought that someone who said they were ‘happy to stay single’ were only saying that because of their inability to ‘pull’ or be in relationships. Thank God I grew up since then but I digress, did it ever occur to these people that women can choose to stay single and there does not have to be a sexually or socially motivated reason behind it? For me I believe that Valentines day is a haven for consumerists and does not demonstrate a person’s love for their partner yet I have also been partial to celebrating Valentines day with past partners. My point being is that even if I was in a relationship why would I need Valentines day to spend time with my partner, when you should be doing that all the time anyway? What I do like however, now that I am single is to spend the day with friends-known as Galentines- but not because it is a ‘special day’ but simply just because. In other words it’s ok to stay single on Valentines day and not need to offer a reason as to why you have made this choice.
For some choosing to stay single can be due to past relationships, while for others there is no reason other than not seeing a need to celebrate love on just one day per year. Whatever your choice, just know that it is ok and there is no judgement here. Now here is where I drop the big V Bomb and state that me and my best friend Anna Maria from On The Edge Blog are actually attending a speed dating event this week (because why the hell not) and me writing this post might seem a little premature. After all I might find someone and not be ‘single anymore’ but regardless my opinion would not change. Even if I was in a relationship again I still believe that it is ok to be single and to just enjoy the time you have away from partners and drama. It has been so long since I have been in a relationship but instead of letting it bother me like I used to I honestly don’t mind anymore. I don’t feel the need to ‘search for my soulmate’ nor do I believe that being single is a bad thing. In fact I love being single and the freedom of being your own person is obviously fantastic. Yes I admit, I miss the cuddles and the intimacy but if 2017 is another year when love does not come a’knocking then I am not going to cry myself to sleep over it.
This year it’s all about loving me.
In a way me writing this post about why it’s ok to stay single on Valentines Day is not just aimed at women, because I have male, trans or gender fluid friends who are single too and are scared to be alone. So for those singletons out there, and you know who you are, just because you might have never had a partner before or feel pressured into entering a relationship by your parents, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and tell them that it is ok to be single. Because honestly the next god damn time someone asks us when we are going to find a partner I will quite calmly look at them, smile and whisper something in their ear. And do you know what that will be?
F**K OFF!
Why Do You Believe That It Is Ok To Stay Single On Valentines Day?
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Anna says
Anna Love these shows! Where are these from? Also, despite having boyfriend im spending the day on my own 🙂 I just like that! 🙂
Ana De- Jesus says
Thanks so much, there is a link at the bottom of the post, they are from Zaful and have a link to the page, aren’t they gorgeous? I am glad you don’t feel the need to celebrate either x
fashion-mommy says
The last line is just hilarious. It is always ok yo be single, whatever sex you happen to be, much better than being in a toxic relationship.
Agata says
Frankly I don’t get V day at all! If you love someone you should treat them special every day, not just on V day!
five little doves says
I completely agree with all of this. I have friends who literally used to get a boyfriend just for valentines day so they wouldn’t be single, and I never understood why someone would need to do that! I think it’s way more important to wait for the right guy than to settle for something just to have someone. I also agree that if women want to have one night stands, so what? As long as everyone is sensible about their choices, takes care of their sexual health and it’s consensual, I am all for it!!
Gareth Torrance says
Reading this made me realise that I was single on Valentine’s Day every year until I met my wife at 22… And it never actually bothered me in the slightest.
Jodie Whitham says
I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s Day. When you say that, you sound like a bitter single, it puts pressure on singles and forces romance. I am a romantic who think it’s the little things that matter like cooking for the other or surprising the other with a trip away. There are double standards. Never made to feel like there is something wrong with me being single, but people often say they can’t understand why I am as I’m so nice or whatever. Another interesting read! I can’t wait to read your next post 😊 x
Nayna Kanabar says
Valentines day is about sharing with a loved some special time. there is no rule to say it has to be with a boyfriend partner. You can be single and still celebrate with your loved ones.
Anosa says
This year will be the first year in 10 years that I will not be celebrating Valentine’s Day with partner. It will be weird for sure but I am actually looking forward to it. Though I did celebrate for the last 10 years it was never on the day always before or after.
Ana Ojha says
Valentine’s day is all about celebrating love and happiness with your loved ones. It is not necessary to spend V-day only with the partner or the better half. I feel that being single rocks at some point in life as you’re a free bird and you can do anything without being answerable to anyone!
Hannah | Swellbound blog says
Being single on valentines is totally okay! I’ve been in a relationship for years and we’ve not bothered with valentines since our first- it’s just another day and a good partner will show their love 365 days a year, not just one!
Leslie Hernandez says
Hi love, hope you had a great weekend. I personally believe love and friendship should be celebrated all year round. To me it has nothing to do with being married, in a relationship or being single. That’s just my opinion though. To me is an awareness day, a day that reminds you that you have people that love you and appreciate you for you. It doesn’t necessary have to be a boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, If could be your best friend or your family or siblings whom you are very close too. Love is a beautiful thing and you don’t only share it with a boyfriend or girlfriend. You share it with family and friends too.
Mellissa Williams says
I like the companionship of being in a relationship but of course you have to find the right person that compliments you, makes you laugh and loves you for who you are. It’s definitely better to be single than be in a doomed relationship and you don’t need a partner of course either.
Rhian Westbury says
I think it’s absolutely fine to be single at any point because Valentines Day is just a day x
Jacqui @FlightsFancyMom says
First, LOVE that outfit!
I am single and have been almost every year on Valentine’s Day since my divorce in 2005. I had one relationship that pretty much ended the same way my marriage did. With the guy talking to someone else. I decided to focus on my daughter. I’d like to be in a relationship, but mainly because I miss the companionship lol. But, I’m ok with where I am for now 🙂
hannah says
I hate valentines day and i hate those stupid stereotypes that are going around too. When I tell people i hate it they automatically say ‘thats just because you are single’ or ‘you are just jealous.’ Even when i had a boyfriend i told him not to get me anything for valentines day because i just hate it and think romance is stupid. That was 11 years ago. i’ve never been a romantic and think the day is a load of rubbish. Not to mention it was the day my mom passed away too x
Stephanie Merry says
I’m going to be single this Valentines Day as well and I’m OK with that x
Lynne Harper says
Valentines Day for me lost its appeal many years ago, I much prefer to celebrate my anniversary instead. Its turned into such a commercial day now.
Rosie Romance says
I really enjoyed reading this post. I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years and we’ve only celebrated Valentine’s Day properly once! I like the idea of a day dedicated solely to love but I feel as though it’s not really about the love anymore. I’m not against Valentine’s Day but it’s not the only day that matters.
Baby Isabella says
Valentines Day should be for everyone. Anyone that loves someone or something should be celebrated! Its cool to be single on Valentines Day – just treat and love yourself x
Martin says
I think it’s ok to be alone for Valentine’s day. I mean, why not? You don’t need a man to be happy! And going to a speed dating sounds like a great idea, I have never tried it before but I think it can be a lot of fun. No strings attach, just a night of laughter and… who knows? Maybe you end up with a boyfriend 🙂
karen says
Girl, I just wrote an entire blog post about GALentines Day. Its about giving/showing love. Doesnt matter if its a partner/spouse. Its about the love…
Dannii says
I don’t think Valentine’s Day is just for couples. I think it’s a good time to show your love for all the people in your life.
Natalia says
I absolutely love your outfit! It’s a shame there are no boots left in my size! Oh, and I think it’s ok to be single in Valentine’s day. Actually, this day was created by marketing people to sell stuff so why should we care about it? lol xx
Lydia Monson says
First of all- this outfit is seriously SO gorgeous! I am dying over that coat. I am having a galentines brunch with my single girlfriends, can’t wait!
xo, Lydia | wheretheprettythingsare.co
CoCo says
I’m not single, but would rather be single when it comes to Valentine’s Day! I actually don’t celebrate with my significant other, I celebrate with my friends!
Adrienne Carter says
I think being single can empower you! I love being married but this would be a great post for a few friends of mine!
StressedMum says
I see young girls now (the joys of having young adults for kids), and the girls especially just want the whole home and family life and it shocks me. There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship or single the important thing is being happy and being in a relationship with the right person for the right reasons x
Jessi says
I spent many years single on Valentine’s day, and it was always fun really. Well, the day after is the best because all of the chocolate is on sale for super cheap haha
Ickle Pickle says
I think it is absolutely ok! I am 45, I have been married, then in a long term relationship and have been on my own for a couple of years now. I like being able to do what I want, when I want! Kaz x
Jenni - Odd Socks and Lollipops says
I must admit Valentine’s is not a big thing for me, it never really has been. I think it’s such a shame that there is such pressure for people to have someone, anyone for that day. And I really get so angry about the double standards for men and women! I hope you have a good time at the speed dating event with your friend!
Kacie says
Amen! I think Valentines Day puts unnecessary pressure on both singles and couples. Many singles I know feel the need to find a date in time for Valentines Day to avoid being lonely for the day, while couples feel obliged to spend money on cards and gifts for each other.
Grant R says
I had many years single on Valentine’s Day. Didn’t bother me at all! It’s just another day, isn’t it? I think I’d be happier to have people around me at Christmas rather than some commercialised supposedly romantic holiday!
Nicola says
You go girl! Nothing wrong with being single…and actually there’s a lot to be said for the single life. I dated the wrong guys for years and got dumped left, right and centre and was left feeling unloved and unwanted and that there was something wrong with me. I lived the single life for 5 years before settling in another relationship…I did plenty of things I’m not entirely proud of but it was a great part of getting to know who I was and what I actually wanted and needed from a relationship.
Kimberly Hsieh says
I love those shoes!! Perfect for Valentine’s Day : )
MELANIE EDJOURIAN says
What an adorable outfit first of all. I don’t see the probably with going it alone on Valentine’s Day. In fact in some cases I have actually invited friends over or dinner with us as I love my friends too. Hubby doesn’t mind which helps he just enjoys the fact that I have made a great dnner 😉
Lyndsey O'Halloran says
I’ve been single on loads of Valentine’s Days. My husband and I don’t celebrate it though so it doesn’t matter
Gemma says
better to be single and happy than unhappy and in a dead end relationship. You’ve definitely got the right mentality x
Mihaela Echols says
I agree its definitly ok to be single on Valentines day! I view Valentines day as a day of telling everyone how much I love them. I think now that I’m married theres more pressure in finding what to give or do with my husband.
Janel Berchielli says
I used to feel this way myself. I still feel that valentines is a greeting card holiday. Even though I’ve been happily married for 16 years we don’t really do the whole valentines thing!
Joanna @ Everyday Made Fresh says
Those boots are so cute! It’s totally ok to be single on Valentine’s Day! Heck, my husband and I don’t even really celebrate it anymore. We see it as the made up commercial holiday that it is.
Amber Myers says
I love your outfit.
And yes, it is SO okay to be single on Valentine’s Day. I am married, but my husband is in the military and has been gone, so I’ve spent the day alone, and I was cool with it. I just stuffed my face with chocolate and watched chick flicks. It was pretty awesome.
Jalisa Harris says
I love your outfit. Aside for the fact lol. I always felt like Valentines was so taboo. After a while I was ok with being single on Valentines Day. When I wasn’t looking for love it sprung up out of no where.
Aish Das-Padihari says
I have not been single or out on a date for last 15 years or so. I’m sure, being single can be a lot of too.
Ali Rost says
Great post! So much truth in everything you’ve written .. I remember years dreading Valentines Day because I was in an unfortunate relationship. I also remember years being single and doing my own thing. Really interesting article from the Huffington Post .. with a take I hadn’t quite thought of before. Can’t wait to read your post (if you write one) about your adventures speed dating!
Lindsey Paris says
It’s always ok to be single. I always thought I should NEVER date anyone unless I was secure in myself to go to a movie alone or a museum solo. That’s when you are ready.
Rachel says
Loving the outfit, those pink boots are gorgeous! Can I please have your wardrobe?! Totally agree with this post, I’m going to be single this Valentine’s Day and I’m okay with that! It’s also very annoying to be asked when I’m going to find a boyfriend all the time haha! The last paragraph made me chuckle! xo
Catherine says
You’re right. It’s better to be in no relationship than a bad relationship. You defiantly radiate confidence in your photos and you deserve someone to love and treasure you year round, not just Valentine’s Day. I hope you enjoy whatever plans you’ve made this Valentines (or Galentine’s Day!)
Fatima says
It’s absolutely fine to stay single on Valentine’s day! Really like the look especially the pastel shoes. My wedding anniversary is just a few days before Valentine’s and I prefer celebrating that rather than 14th Feb.
Tara says
Valentine’s Day has never been one of my favorite holidays single or in a relationship. Everyone has such high expectations and it is so hard to live up to it.
Maureen @Scoops of Joy says
Well said, girl! So proud to know you have it figured out at such a young age which sadly some of the ladies in my single moms support group still haven’t quite understood. Coming from a country where you are pressured to be married by a certain age (add the Cinderella syndrome), there are a lot of women jumped into marriage believing in a fairytale and just because their parents pressured them. The results? Rising in the divorce rate. I keep telling these ladies that their worth is absolutely not defined by if they have a husband/partner/boyfriend or not.
You are doing so awesome! Keep on being you!
Steven Goodwin says
I think V day is blown out of proportion way too often, as with many other hallmark holidays… I’ve been married for a while now (almost 10 yrs) and honestly, I would be scared to enter the dating scene again. It’s crazy out there… I hear way too many horror stories. As far as valentine’s day though, we don’t really do anything either… we do have kiddos too, and will probably just have fun with them!
Debra says
It’s totally okay, honestly my favorite part of Valentines day is the little kids and the Valentines boxes at school and the sweet valentines you make and send with them. I love it when they come home and I get to go through there valentines with them!
Author Brandi Kennedy says
I love your attitude on this, like, “I’ll do whatever the hell I want, thanks. And while I’m at it, I’ll do WHOever I want, too.” Go you – your self-acceptance has come a long way!
And that jacket? Amazing.
9buckcrossing says
My husband and I do not celebrate Valentines day. We like to honor our love more on days of randomness and not a forced day or anniversary. I’d rather have a dozen surprises than one day of a forced gift and dinner. Go do you girl and have fun on your speed date trip!
The Travel Ninjas says
Rushing into a bad relationship from social pressure or self-imposed social pressure is horrible. The worst thing is not being with the wrong person. The worst thing is that it blocks the right person from your life. Good luck with the speed dating. And have a great Valentines Day no matter what you do.
Heather L. says
It’s definitely better to be single that to be in a relationship with the wrong person.
michelle mink says
I have been single on several valentines day’s and even when I had my college boyfriend he hated the holiday. I don’t even think twice now about being single on Feb 14. I’m currently single because I haven’t found someone that I want to be in a relationship with. I wouldn’t lower my standards just to have a date on a certain day. But I know it can be hard when society makes it sound like the worst thing ever to be single during February.
julie porter says
I think it is perfectly ok to be single on Valentine’s Day and it’s just as fun to celebrate with your friends or even to celebrate yourself. People who look at someone who isn’t in a relationship and just assume that there is something wrong with them or they can’t get a relationship really irritate me. Some people do choose not to be in relationships and that’s ok. Some people are simply waiting for the right person. Either way, it’s no one’s business.
Tania Potter - Soul Sense Coaching says
My husband’s birthday is on the 13th Feb so we seldom celebrate Valentine’s Day. It’s crazy how expensive everything gets on that one day and the consumerism bothers me. Good for you for being comfortable where you are. PS Your outfit here is absolutely stunning, love all of it!
Jemma says
I think it’s more than OK to be single on Valentine’s day. Devote the day to yourself instead and celebrate how amazing you are, however you can so this any day.
Fashion and Style Police says
I love how you styled your look. So very trendy. It’s ok to single on Valentines Day or any other time. I was once.
Tracy says
Firstly, OMG! Those boots! Secondly, you are right, we are so conditioned into thinking we look sad, lonely and desperate without a man, especially at Valentine’s day. So wrong, but hard to escape from. No, you don’t need a man for Valentine’s day (you don’t need a man, full stop). You are doing the right thing by taking time to be you!
Louise says
Anna good for you Hun, your a smart beautiful woman and so glad that your not going to feel pressured in to bring in any kind of relationship that just does not work. You look so good in Pink! Wish I could carry it off but it never suits me X don’t change X X
Anna-Maria says
I could not agree more. You heard me many times moaning about being single on Valentines Day, but as you said Valentines Day is just another day, created just for people to spend more money, and yes it’s okay to be single on V Day. As we grow up we become more selective with people around us and by not getting into a relationship we the first guy we bump into it shows respect to ourselves and maturity.
Annastasia says
It’s so sad that society wants to keep us miserable and keep us spending the money. I thought this post was inspiring and exactly what women need to hear.
Rose Sahetapy says
Being single or having a partner are blessed, as long as we are happy, and content. Valentine Day is only a day that marks about Love and loving relationship, not really represent the love itself.
Keith Haney says
Society puts so much pressure on single people to grow up and find a mate. Why do people assume you can’t be a grown up and be single? Something to ponder.
Jen says
I don’t feel that Valentines day or any such day is something to determine where you need to be in a relationship status. There are people that will be celebrating it, people that will be dreading it, but there are many that it will make no difference whatsoever to their general day. It is totally acceptable to be single, and what you do with it is your own choice.
Krista Dial says
I absolutely believe it’s okay to be single on V-day. In fact, I’m 100% in agreement with you that it’s all consumer-focused. My husband and I have been married for almost 7 years and very rarely, if ever, celebrate this holiday. We may fix dinner together or something…but that’s hardly any different than any other evening. Good for you for standing up for what you believe in and not caving to society’s fixation tying romantic relationships to self-worth.
Talya says
Although I am not single now, I have been single on many a Valentine’s Day and definitely think it is ok to be, despite the marketing pressure around us all to be all coupled up on the day. It’s just another day.
Alyssa Ruane says
First of all, I love your outfit! That blush color looks amazing on you. Secondly, I totally agree with you about being single on V-day. In fact, I’ve pretty much always been single on that day, and although it would make me a little sad, I was happy knowing I wasn’t in some so-so relationship “just because.” Though I love my boyfriend now, I still very much cherish my super single years!
Elizabeth O. says
I think people just put too much pressure on themselves that’s why they are desperately looking for dates or boyfriends/girlfriends for Valentine’s Day. In reality, if you love yourself enough, you’re perfectly fine with not having anyone during that day.
Brandi with Big Fit Fam says
very true, V-Day is just a day, and in all honesty it’s mostly for kids at our house!
Amanda-Jaied Wathern says
You do you girl! I never understood the stigma associated with being single- had some of the best times of my life without a partner. I do however love Valentine’s Day and hate all the snarky comments you hear about it tbh. I love my husband every day, of course I do! We tell each other multiple times, a day, we do nice things for each other every day, and we know how each other feels. BUT we are also both very busy so it’s nice to have a day that reminds us to stop and set aside a whole day just to celebrate how good we are together 🙂 x
Tereza says
I don’t ever celebrate it but I think this year I might go all out. It’s the first year I’ve managed to keep a relationship for longer than 2 years so I reckon that in itself is a reason to celebrate haha! The boots are amazing by the way, amazing!! x
Cara (@StylishGeek) says
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this! Many years ago (before I was married), my group of friends and I decided to do a singles dinner party during Valentine’s! It was such an awesome thing that the following year those who were still single decided to do it again (but this time even the couples came!). I guess it shows that V Day means spreading the love, and it doesn’t matter whether you’re with someone or not!
Rachel @ Kitchen Cents says
I love to think of Valentine’s as a day we can show love to those we love in our lives, not just boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/partners. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Tanya Brannan says
I think it is ok to be on your own any time of year, but especially on Valentines day. I don’t have a problem with being in my own company, and whilst I am married and have children, I would happily spend time on my own, pleasing myself and no-one else! Enjoy your life and male the most of it, solo or in company xx
Charlotte says
I couldn’t agree more! Gender stereotyping, especially when it comes to dating and sex are a complete double standard. I’m married now but I spent many a valentines day single and that is totally ok! It’s ridiculous how if you spend it alone your sad and yet if you go out or have a one night stand it’s considered being a slut. Honestly it’s just haters going to hate syndrome!
five little doves says
Returning again, have a lovely Valentines day as a strong, independent woman! xx
Kira says
I think the best way to spend valentines is with you girl mates either way! I spend so much time with my boyfriend that I feel like there should be special day for friends instead, galentines is great 😀
Vai Chin @Rambling Through Parenthood says
I hate the hoopla that surrounds Valentine’s day. Every day should be a celebration of love, and I mean all relationships.
Kathy Myers says
If I wasn’t married, I would too!! I love how confident you are about it. I think it is a made up money making holiday anyway!
Reesa Lewandowski says
I can’t stand Valentine’s Day. It’s such an overrated commercialized holiday. I am obsessed with your pink boots BTW.
Robin Rue says
So many people just get into relationships just to be in them this time of year. I think that is the worst excuse for getting into one. A holiday of all things.
Jo says
This might sound really miserable but I see Valentine’s Day as nothing but an attempt to get our money! My husband and I won’t be buying cards for one another and that’s not because we don’t love each other but we refuse to buy into the whole thing. If you’re single on Valentine’s Day then bottom line is, it’s just another day of the year which someone has stuck a label too. If people are happy being single then it shouldn’t matter what day it is.
Lisa (mumdadplus4) says
I tell my daughter all the time to enjoy life have fun there is plenty of time for boys she has made all her other dreams come true like travelling it is OK to be single
Mrs H says
I agree with everything that you have written here and I probably could have written the first paragraph myself. I used to think that I wasn’t a complete person and that there was something wrong with me if I was single. I was desperate to be loved and adored by a boyfriend. And so I went from one disastrous relationship to the next. Then before I met my husband I was single for a year or so. And I was happy being single. And when I met him he was just a guy that made me smile and I had fun with. It is perfectly acceptable for a woman to be single on VD. And if society tells us otherwise then it is just another example of misogynistic and double standard ideals. Hugs Lucy xxxx
Sarah says
I do love the cheesiness of Valentines Day! I am very much a ‘celebrate every possible holiday’ type of person though. When I was single I didn’t worry about being single on Valentines Day though. It IS a made up holiday, and I loved my single days. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being single ever.
shelley morecroft says
Love your honesty and being in a relationship really doesn’t matter, make valentines day about yourself or see friends and do something nice! FYUI, great outfit!
shelley xoxo
http://www.shelleymorecroft.co.uk/
Fiona Maclean says
I’ve been happily single for a long time now;) I’d rather be on my own than with the wrong person! V Day is fab if you are in love…otherwise it’s just a bit too commercial anyway imo
Sam B says
I have to admit I have never been one for Valentines. People call me boring or not romantic but it’s not for me.
Single or in a relationship, Valentines will never be a day I would celebrate or whatever.
Marta says
Hey Ana, I’m single and actually enjoying the freedom to do whatever I like, moving to another country included. I would like to share my life with someone, but haven’t found that person yet. Thank’s for your inspiration!
Doodle as I Do says
Haha love the ending. Good on you girl!
Whatlauraloves says
Its totally ok to be single or even just to spend Valentines on your own or with friends. Although when i was younger I was always single and I really dreaded valentines xxx
Teresa Bowen says
I can’t remember the last time we celebrated Valentine’s Day. Usually one or the other of us would be working that night and the effort outweighed the fun. I sometimes think that the couples who celebrate the day the loudest have the least stable relationships while those of us secure in our relationship celebrate it in small ways all the time.
Nina says
I think it’s totally okay to be single on Valentine’s Day. It’s just a day that was created by Hallmark, after all. But furthermore, I hate when people talk about their significant others “completing them.” You should be you and if someone is worth your time, great. If not, just continue being awesome!
Healthy & Psyched says
I’m sorry you had such negative experiences in the past.
My best Valentines day was when I was single and stayed at home with my housemates. We made chicken nuggets and smiley face chips! It was amazing
Krystel @ Planning The Magic says
I’m not single but I will say that Valentines Day is my least favorite holiday. It’s not even a holiday. It’s completely ok to be alone and single on V-Day.
Amber Nelson says
There is definitely nothing wrong with being single on Valentine’s Day. In fact, I always thought that Valentine’s Day was overrated.
Home and Horizon says
Of course it’s okay to be single! No one should be responsible for anyone else’s happiness. Plus, you’ve got to love yourself before you can love someone else – that is, if you want a steadfast, trusting and fulfilling relationship.
Ali - We Made This Life says
It is absolutely ok to be single on Valentine’s Day, and in fact much better that than being in the wrong relationship. Hang out with some friends and watch a movie or go out for a drink and enjoy the day as you would any other.
Jennifer (JenuineMom) says
This is an adorable outfit. Love the muted colors — they remind me that spring is coming. And… it’s okay to be single, any day of the year. We are who we are and we should embrace it 365 days a year! Besides, Valentine’s Day is WAY overrated. I’m not single and I barely acknowledge it. I celebrate my relationship year round.
Amanda Love says
I’ve been single for quite some time and it doesn’t bother me at all to be spending Valentine’s Day alone. I think when you’re on the level wherein you’re perfectly fine with being alone, you stop thinking about needing someone on events like this. I really enjoy being alone and it’s nice to not have to worry about anyone, hey it saves you money as well.
Courteney Noonan says
I love this post! I’m in a relationship but even when I wasn’t it never bothered me when I was single. Maybe I need to show this to some of my friends x
Angela Ricardo says
As a military wife who could barely handle her busy schedule I am truly glad I came across your helpful post. I honestly feel like people should discuss this topic more often! Love ourselves first. I totally agree on that!
Kecia | Momerish says
I totally agree it’s okay to be single on Valentine’s Day! Being married, we like to celebrate the holiday now, but I would rather be alone and happy than with someone and miserable – even on a holiday!!
Whitney Ford says
My sentiments EXACTLY! I so agree with this entire post!
Rachel says
I feel like Valentine’s Day is so overrated and it is definitely fine to be single on that day or any other day. My husband and I barely celebrate it.
Heidi says
It’s so silly that it’s okay to be single all year long, but all the sudden on days like Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve, we have to have a boyfriend. I am completely of the opinion that finding that special someone to spend your life with and start a family is the key to happiness. Family for me is everything. But–it happens when the time is right. There is no need to rush it for a holiday and risk a dangerous relationship. Enjoy hanging out with your friends this Valentine’s Day!
Mary says
As someone who has been both single and in a relationship on Valentines Day, I actually prefer being single during this day. Going out with my girlfriends or getting a massage for myself just always seems better than the cliché dinner, flowers and chocolates.
Melissa Major says
I don’t celebrate valentines day and can’t see why the big fuss about the day. Its fine to be single no matter the time of year. 🙂
Great outfit by the way, I like the boots
Kerry norris says
It’s defo ok to be single on Valentine’s Day. I adore this outfit. My fave one I’ve ever seen you in x
HilLesha says
I have actually never been into Valentine’s Day much and I’m now married. So, I definitely agree that it is okay to be single on V-Day! 🙂
Leah Lander-Shafik says
I was single or YEARS on valentines day and it never really bothered me…I think being single is awesome but as you know I absolutely adore my wife too. There is far too much emphasis though on something being wrong if you’re single…and I actually really did enjoy it but hated the constant questions about ‘when I was going to settle down’.
It’s such an old fashioned view. If self love is a thing then that can be celebrated on valentines day too in my opinion x
Lyndsey says
Your so right, being single on Valentines Day is the same as being single any day. I love being single!
Love your outfit too!
L x
Brittany says
I’m married now, but when I was single I made a big deal of Valentine’s Day. It was my day to love myself. It probably sounds silly but I took it as a day to remember how important I am.
Chelsea Damon says
Love love love these Pantone colors! And yes I totally agree- it’s fine to be single on Valentines day! I’m married and my husband and I barely think of valentines day at all. We love going on dates but we can and do that whenever we want to, so it’s really not a big deal!
Kusum says
So true, its perfectly fine to stay single and by yourself on Valentine’s day! If you cannot make yourself happy, no one else can.
xx, Kusum | http://www.sveeteskapes.com
sandy n vyjay says
I think, society can sometimes be cruel. But to hell with it, in today’s world, these are archaic views. Boys and girls are on the same level, so it is ok, everyone has their rights, and it is fine to be alone on Valentine’s day, no big deal that.
Tabitha Shakespeare says
I think that you can’t ever be truly be in a healthy relationship until you’re ok with being by yourself. It looks like you have a good head on your shoulders!
Krystle Cook says
I really think that there is way too much hype around this holiday. Showing love to people around you should be an every day thing and you should not feel pressured to be in a relationship.
emma white says
It’s most definitely OK to be single on Valentines Day I am so much happier being single and I can buy my own gifts and get something I actually want and need
katriza says
It’s unfortunate how we’ve portrayed ourselves through he eyes of other people and these social norms. I have never felt the need to have a man for valentine’s day and my single girl friends got together for a singles night in or out in celebration of valentine’s day. Yes there are times when i felt sad for not having a man to share this holiday but it made me look forward to the time when i will and that it would be amazing.
Surekha says
Firstly! Love your look babe , my favorite of yours! To be honest I have never been big about Vdays. They are just another day for me! be your own valentine 🙂
Jessica Erler says
A very honest and empowering peice of writing ! Super inspiring 🙂 xx
Lisa Backsnbumps says
I think it’s great to have a time in your life when you are single. I think you learn so much about yourself and when you do come to a relationship you have more to offer. You will be more confident and happy with your own company and I think a potential boyfriend will respect that.
Moderate Mum says
It’s my first single valentines in a long time and I’m looking forward to it! Guess who’s getting all the treats 🙂
Poppy Mayy says
Completely agree with everything you said 🙌 And your outfit is beautiful 😍
olivia says
completely agree its just another day anyway!
helena says
you’re outfit is lovely also this post is so true theres nothing wrong with it at all!
Suchi says
Love the flush coat! U look amaze!!
Kristin O'Ferrall says
First let me say, I love those boots. Secondly, I agree! I remember those days of being single and I would hate all the well-intentioned folks who were concerned with my dating life. Some of my best memories (and learning experiences) were from when I was single.
– Kristin
http://www.BrightLightLiving.com
Annie B says
Might have just added those boots to my shopping bag… oops! I won’t lie Valentines Day never bothered me single or not. I found it over hyped up and I tend to back off from anything like that. I am married now and we never do anything exciting, maybe a M&S to for £20!
Jadirah Sarmad says
Nobody should ever be in a toxic relationship just for the sake of not being single. This post was such a good read and I am glad you grew confident about being single with time! 🙂 Love your outfit! xx
Jadirah Sarmad | Jasmine Catches Butterflies ʚϊɞ
Kara says
I am married but we ignore valentines day. It is a load of trivial rubbish set up by companies to make a bit of money and makes people feel bad if they deem their relationships are not perfect or they are single, so yes, it is perfectly fine to be single on Valentines Day
Kristina says
Love this outfit, you look gorgeous.
I totally get the whole ‘need’ to be in a relationship on V-Day as when I was younger I had the same problem.
Now, who cares. You do you and the right person will come along eventually, not just for Valentines Day.
Vlad says
Uh oh I just love Valentine’s Day posts because it’s my Birthday right on that day LOL.
Yes I think it’s ok to be single on that day because 1. It doesn’t mean anything. 2. If it’s the right person, it will come eventually regardless it’s 14 of February or not.
Борка Шаула says
I would felt the same about New Year eves, because I was never alone on V day – it’s my birthday then actually. But, I felt so alone at NYEs because everyone would kiss at midnight, and I would just stand there on my own, alone. Now, I honestly don’t care.
Tasha says
Loving that outfit!! Me and my friends are planning on having a girls day out for vday!
mira pstr says
Oulala!! I love the trench color, I have a black one almost the same , I would love to get this french color too .
Miss Kim @ behgopa says
Love the outfit and the hair. I hate Valentine’s Day! If you work in an industry that profits during this overly commercialized day, you might grow to hate it (unless you’re a business owner, I guess). Valentine’s Day is the craziest night of the year in my industry. It totally drains me for days after.
Michelle Twin Mum says
Good to hear that you are choosing to do what is right for you. I hate the pressure to be one way or another and want us all to just bee happy right where we are. Mich x PS – loving your pink boots
Charlotte Greene says
This is such a great post! I’m super happy I came across this. Unfortunately, this would have been better suited for me about four years ago lol. Everything you said was right though – I always ended up single on VDay and absolutely miserable until I stopped caring. After that point I got married and I (we) still don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day (hahaha).
Charlotte Greene says
Such a great read! I really wish this had come across my feed about four years ago! You’re absolutely right though..I was always alone on VDay and was absolutely miserable. After I hit a point where I stopped caring about what everyone else would think of me, I met my (now) husband shortly thereafter and I (we) still don’t celebrate it hahaha. PS Your shoes are to die for!
XO Char.
Memory says
I really love how you style this look Ana. Everything goes together so well! Well done.
LaaLaa says
I never feel a way about being single on Valentine’s day or any type of couple occasion. I more feel sorry for those who give those looks of what a shame single on Valentine’s day.
Aish Das-Padihari says
Loved each and every outfit on the post. You look so amazing. I need to go shopping.
njcollectandwin.com says
I find often the perception in society is that if you re single, you re unhappy — and if you re in a relationship, you re automatically happy.
David Elliott says
I’m with you about Valentine’s Day. I think that it’s a Holiday where they just want you to spend money. If I require a day to inform me that I need to be romantic to my partner, then I don’t think the relationship is going too well. I should crave that intimacy and closeness every day.