As I write this I am sobbing, depressed and feeling isolated from the blogging community. When I joined the blogging community I did so to connect and meet online bloggers but as of late I have received nothing but abuse and it hurts like hell. I have been called horrible names, been accused of doing things I have not done, recieved negative comments and been told that I deserve to die and should have never existed. Do you know how much it hurts to be told you are worthless, be told that your ugly and that my blog is shit simply because I stood my ground and fought for what I believed in? I don’t care if my opinions are controversial because to be honest I don’t care anymore, blogging is not the same as it was when I joined six months and it breaks my heart that our work, our blood, sweat and tears account for nothing simply because people have a problem accepting who you are and what you stand for.
I am no stranger to controversy and have been abused and bullied since I was a kid. I have depression and anxiety and it is moments like this when it heightens and I find it difficult to look past the dark, murky haze that surrounds me. I spent so much of 2016 feeling positive and not letting negativity get to me that it has all been brought to a stand still and I feel consumed. It is like a disease that won’t go away and there seems to be nothing I can do to feel better again. I need a break, a digital detox to regroup and be sane again because right now I don’t feel right and my mental health is at breaking point. There is no need to berate people over and over again simply because they don’t fit your ideals. I urge all you bloggers out there to stop and think. How many of you have been careless with the way you have treated other bloggers? How many have thought about how your negative comments have affected others? How many of you have realized how upsetting it is to bully and abuse people online?
I was physically and emotionally abused by my stepmother from the age of six and taken into care by the age of 10. By the age of 12 I would be severely bullied to the extent that I thought about killing myself but I told noone. To my family and the little real friends that I did have I was happy go lucky because I was good at hiding my emotions and for years I hid all the abuse and bullying. I was was afraid that people would not believe me and I was right. I was branded a liar, a fake and told I couldn’t possibly be all those things because I was so happy and positive all the time. It is all a lie, that identity that I carved out for myself was to protect me from people like you who seeked to undermine my confidence and position in society.
By the age of 13 I started shoplifting to make me feel invincible and it worked for a time. I cut classes too afraid to go to class and by the age of 16 was teased and made of fun on social media because they knew that I didn’t have social media. I wasn’t allowed Facebook until I was 18 because I was under the child protection service and they needed to protect me from people could find me but there are some that don’t even have this in place. I have lost count of the amount of people that have commited suicide or been seriously depressed because of the way they are treated on social media. But despite not being on social media I was always notified of what was being posted about me, hate groups were set up against me, photos that said mean things about me on Twitter was posted and they used to call me a lesbian which FYI I am straight and like men but why do we feel the need to label ourselves. Regardless of who you are and what you stand for it does not give cyber bullies the right to abuse you and take advantage of your vunerability.
Because I am vunerable and highly emotional, I take things to heart when sometimes I shouldn’t be so upset but I can’t help it. This is who I am and if you don’t like it you can f**k off. I am me and you are you. Learn to celebrate our differences and acknowledge that diversity is beautiful. When I was a kid I struggled to identify with people my own age and today it rings true. I was always told that I was very mature for my age because what I have been through is something noone should have to do. But that does not mean that I am pestimistic, in fact the past does not define who I am but allows me to break free from constraints and share who I am with the world. I understand that we can’t get along with everyone but resorting to abuse is nasty, belittling and hurtful- online abuse needs to stop. I ask this as a 22 year old woman: Stop and think about how your actions can be perceived. Even if it is meant to be a joke some jokes are not funny and calling someone names or manipulating them online and in reality is uncalled for.
No matter what kind of blogger you are, no matter what type of person you are I ask you to be kinder torwards other bloggers.Treat them with kindness and respect and if you have nothing to say then say nothing at all. Stop and Think. Stop Online Abuse
Have you ever faced online abuse? Use the hashtag #stopandthink to stop online abuse
Beautifully said. You know .. I read articles about how to stop cyber bulling in our kids. But I have to say .. I think the parents are even worse! I simply don’t understand why they type hurtful things and would say them with words if we were sitting in the same room. I often wonder if we as a collective lost part of our kindness and empathy when screens became more popular. All that being said .. you are good. Your blog is wonderful .. write it down .. remind yourself (often!)