We haven’t spoken in at least a year but your words still leave a bitter taste on my lips. Remember when you told me that my LGBTQ friends would burn in hell because they had abhorrent desire and that I would burn alongside them because I support a ‘false ideal’ of love? You would laugh, quite manically as you pondered the plausibility of my so called ‘satanic’ friends entering heaven even when I assured you that they were impeachable Christians. I stood gobsmacked as you sat there and listed all the reasons why my friends couldn’t live in the afterlife and how I as a non-religious being would be pecked at by scorpions, living in eternal doom? And you wonder why I rejected your so- called perception of religion and chose to become an atheist? You tried to turn everyone against me, whispering sweet poison in their ears and labelled me as a ‘Satan sympathizer’ because I believed in the concept of equal love. That despite my religious indifference you chose to focus on the fact I have gay friends and am ok with it? Big deal, get over yourself, if this god that you tell me is so ‘peace loving’ then why are you so adamant that my best friend is a sinner, that my friends of friends deserve to rot in hell and that your neighbor is a stain upon your religion? Let’s get the facts straight, did you ever think that all the evil things you did in your lifetime would gain you entry into heaven? You treated people like shit and I forgave you and tried to ignore your archaic attitudes towards sexuality in the hope that you would see that the LGBTQ community is one of the most supportive, loving and talented communities I know. For years my best friend had to hide her sexuality because of people like you and she was afraid that society was not ready to handle the truth. She was right; for 22 years she kept her sexuality hidden and the relief as she threw off the shackles of her confinement was un-measurable.
The world didn’t explode and humankind didn’t die out and quite frankly your ignorance frustrates me. Your so intelligent yet at the same time not willing to accept that times have changed; I have demisexuals, pansexuals, bisexuals, lesbians, gays, gender queers and trans as friends and wait for it ‘ I enjoy watching Drag Queens’. Feel sick yet? Good because I am only just getting started, I experimented a little when I was younger when I wondered whether the claims about my sexuality could be true and have had a girls tongue in my mouth. Did I enjoy it? Not necessarily but would I do it again? Maybe, you can’t put a label on sexuality and while I might like men now there is no saying that my sexuality is ‘fixed’. It makes me wonder whether you abhor homosexuality because you are afraid that you are gay yourself? It is okay to be gay and regardless of whether you are 100% gay or not sexual preference changes. I remember when I was younger I was scared of boys, afraid of what they might do to me and you questioned my sexuality. You were convinced I was gay and told me how ‘relieved’ you were that I was ‘straight’ because it was ‘far more acceptable in your eyes. I call bulls**t on that, I know the real reason you were afraid I could be gay and that was because it might bring shame to your reputation. I laugh in the face of your senseless, misguided beliefs, did it ever occur to you that your own family is not as ‘straight ‘ as you may think? That your own birth blood, your own ‘sun, moon and stars’ as you used to call her actually had a girlfriend herself. She was too afraid to tell you and you ruined her life when you caught her. Threw her out the house and made her fend a living for herself, ignorant to her pleas for forgiveness. Why the hell did she need forgiveness, she did nothing wrong and the fact that she was too afraid to tell you is only testament to the violence of your character.
You’re a violent homophobe who wouldn’t know true humanity if it slapped you in the face. If your idea of a perfect world exists on the notion that women are subservients and gays are excluded for their supposed ‘abhorrent’ sexual preferences then I don’t want to be in it. I ghosted you because I couldn’t believe what you had done to the people you were meant to have loved ‘dearly’ and clearly the only person you love is yourself. This might seem like more of a rant than a letter but believe me there would be a few more expletives sent your way if I was ranting; truth is I believe that you have questioned your own sexuality and are unsure where you stand. If that is the case then why are you alienating the people you love out of fear, if you are scared then talk to us. It would take me a long time to forgive all the vile things you said but I could understand why you are afraid of being ‘caught out’ . Forget about religion and everything you were taught as a child and just focus on the purity of love whether its homosexual or not. But if this is how you feel about the LGBTQ community and are not doing it because you are afraid of harboring feelings for the other sex then I don’t want to know.
Have you ever witnessed homophobia or been a victim of homophobic attacks?